((This took place several months ago. I even typed it up several months ago. But regretfully, my lact of internet, and Thumb drive malfunctions. Sorry. TT~TT ))
"You're so stupid Toby."
Nikkia's voice cut through the chorus of crickets that came with dusk. Soon after, her figure approached the headstone that belonged to the one insulted. Her body was draped in a simple sun dress, that was nearly black in color. Either her, or someone else had weaved multiple different flowers into the reddish brown mess of hair she had. And like they had been most of the summer, her feet were bare, and covered in the layer of dirt and grime that came as a result of abandoning shoes.
She stared for what seemed to be a while at the headstone and the gifts that others had left. Then without warning she kicked at a small mound of dirt that had tufts of grass growing out of it, and sent a spray of dirt outwards. She hadn't thought to bring something, wouldn't have known what to bring him regardless. And right now, with the way she felt.... the Idiot didn't deserve anything.
"Marlena's a mess because of you...And the fact that you went and died on all of us. And there's hardly anyone to take care of the deliveries. I don't know how Minoko and Kingsley are handling it either... I haven't seen them. It worries me." A soft huff escaped from her, before her weight shifted. "And every one at the church... Patrick..Serena.. Everyone there.... It seems like a dark cloud has fallen over everything. No one seems to know what to do, other than continue on with life, like you're still there, even though you're not. There's no more smiles.... and when there are... they're sad smiles. I'm so tired of seeing it. I'm tired of people being sad. I'm tired of watching other's cry because of you. I'm tired.... period."
She crouched down, and rocked backwards, so her butt connected with the ground. Then she shifted so she was sitting with her legs drawn close to her chest, and her arms wrapped around them. Absently... her teeth caught her lower lip, and chewed... as if she was nervous. "I've only talked about the others..." Pause... more lip chewing. "I haven't talked about myself. I feel lost Toby... I.. I thought I would be done with death... and losing people for a little while. I didn't think.... I never thought that you'd die. You always seemed so strong... and sure of what you said and did... I never would have thought... that You'd be gone so soon. You set me off balance when you died, with a slap of reality. You know... one that said that I wasn't immune to losing those I care about still."
"I realized I may be what some would consider 'immortal'..." she paused long enough to mark the air with quotations, before continuing. "...But my friends aren't."
Silence followed her words. Her mind was full of so many different thoughts and things she wanted to say... and she was beginning to feel like she wouldn't be able to get them all out.
"I've been trying to be strong for so long. I had to be strong for Marlena the morning she found out you were dead... I couldn't let myself cry... Not when she was blubbering worse than a baby.I've been trying to not revert back to what I had become when I thought my brothers, Azriel and Irail were dead. And when Lucas had disappeared on me. I don't like being a hollowed out shell of a person... Even though it's so much easier to give up then try to move on. I haven't let myself cry much. Figure if I did... things would spiral out of control. " She snorted softly after that, and dug her toes into the mound of dirt that marked where his grave was.
"What I can't figure out though... is why the only person...Er.. Friend that I have... that knows what I am.. and what I do... and accepts me regardless, had to die on me. I feel like I'm eternally cursed to lose those I care about most. It's probably selfish to think that way.... But I don't really care. "
"There's so many things I want to talk to you about too. Things that have happened lately... and Decisions that I can't make. I mean... Mom.. Er.. Fiona's getting married... and the guy's great.. His name is Kristoph Knightfall. I dunno if you've ever met him or not. The other day when I was on my way to the inn to drop off a box of food from the church... and a box of my pastries.. and I accidently ran into someone... He ended up getting cupcake frosting all over. He got really angry too. And he started flaming. Like... literally, there was fire coming from his hands. I was actually certain he was going to set fire to my hair. But his partner made light of it.. Teased him about the frosting, and how it looked endearing on him... and they left.. It was probably one of the most frightening and strange things I've ever experienced. And then there's Xero. I don't even know what I want with him anymore. I still love him... But...He's hardly there. And I can't deal with not seeing him often. And he's been so secretive. I just... Ngh. And you. You went and fricken' died... So... I can't talk to you about any of this, you jerk."
She sniffed, then blinked several times at the warm stinging sensation she felt at the backs of her eyes. Seconds later tears began to slip down her cheeks, and she wiped at them, like they were an annoyance of some kind.
"Damnit..Toby, you B*stard. I miss you. You keep on making me cry. I wish you'd come back so I can punch you. For dying... and for making me cry... and for not saying good bye to me.... or anyone else for that matter. You're such an ass for doing that."
Seems like Toby... was being called numerous names tonight...Even if he was dead. Maybe it was just her way of venting anger? Probably was.
She paused for a long moment, before she untangled one of the flowers from her hair. "You don't really deserve it, but still... I won't feel right if I leave without giving you something." Following those words, she nestled the flower on the ground next to the box. More tears fell, before she swiped roughly at her cheeks again. Then she pushed herself to her feet quickly, despite the protests it brought from her body. "You know what... It doesn't matter if you come back or not.... the next time I *see* you, whether it's in a dream... or something, or somewhere else... I'm going to punch you. Keep that in mind."
And with that... she turned, and melted back into the darkness.
"You're so stupid Toby."
Nikkia's voice cut through the chorus of crickets that came with dusk. Soon after, her figure approached the headstone that belonged to the one insulted. Her body was draped in a simple sun dress, that was nearly black in color. Either her, or someone else had weaved multiple different flowers into the reddish brown mess of hair she had. And like they had been most of the summer, her feet were bare, and covered in the layer of dirt and grime that came as a result of abandoning shoes.
She stared for what seemed to be a while at the headstone and the gifts that others had left. Then without warning she kicked at a small mound of dirt that had tufts of grass growing out of it, and sent a spray of dirt outwards. She hadn't thought to bring something, wouldn't have known what to bring him regardless. And right now, with the way she felt.... the Idiot didn't deserve anything.
"Marlena's a mess because of you...And the fact that you went and died on all of us. And there's hardly anyone to take care of the deliveries. I don't know how Minoko and Kingsley are handling it either... I haven't seen them. It worries me." A soft huff escaped from her, before her weight shifted. "And every one at the church... Patrick..Serena.. Everyone there.... It seems like a dark cloud has fallen over everything. No one seems to know what to do, other than continue on with life, like you're still there, even though you're not. There's no more smiles.... and when there are... they're sad smiles. I'm so tired of seeing it. I'm tired of people being sad. I'm tired of watching other's cry because of you. I'm tired.... period."
She crouched down, and rocked backwards, so her butt connected with the ground. Then she shifted so she was sitting with her legs drawn close to her chest, and her arms wrapped around them. Absently... her teeth caught her lower lip, and chewed... as if she was nervous. "I've only talked about the others..." Pause... more lip chewing. "I haven't talked about myself. I feel lost Toby... I.. I thought I would be done with death... and losing people for a little while. I didn't think.... I never thought that you'd die. You always seemed so strong... and sure of what you said and did... I never would have thought... that You'd be gone so soon. You set me off balance when you died, with a slap of reality. You know... one that said that I wasn't immune to losing those I care about still."
"I realized I may be what some would consider 'immortal'..." she paused long enough to mark the air with quotations, before continuing. "...But my friends aren't."
Silence followed her words. Her mind was full of so many different thoughts and things she wanted to say... and she was beginning to feel like she wouldn't be able to get them all out.
"I've been trying to be strong for so long. I had to be strong for Marlena the morning she found out you were dead... I couldn't let myself cry... Not when she was blubbering worse than a baby.I've been trying to not revert back to what I had become when I thought my brothers, Azriel and Irail were dead. And when Lucas had disappeared on me. I don't like being a hollowed out shell of a person... Even though it's so much easier to give up then try to move on. I haven't let myself cry much. Figure if I did... things would spiral out of control. " She snorted softly after that, and dug her toes into the mound of dirt that marked where his grave was.
"What I can't figure out though... is why the only person...Er.. Friend that I have... that knows what I am.. and what I do... and accepts me regardless, had to die on me. I feel like I'm eternally cursed to lose those I care about most. It's probably selfish to think that way.... But I don't really care. "
"There's so many things I want to talk to you about too. Things that have happened lately... and Decisions that I can't make. I mean... Mom.. Er.. Fiona's getting married... and the guy's great.. His name is Kristoph Knightfall. I dunno if you've ever met him or not. The other day when I was on my way to the inn to drop off a box of food from the church... and a box of my pastries.. and I accidently ran into someone... He ended up getting cupcake frosting all over. He got really angry too. And he started flaming. Like... literally, there was fire coming from his hands. I was actually certain he was going to set fire to my hair. But his partner made light of it.. Teased him about the frosting, and how it looked endearing on him... and they left.. It was probably one of the most frightening and strange things I've ever experienced. And then there's Xero. I don't even know what I want with him anymore. I still love him... But...He's hardly there. And I can't deal with not seeing him often. And he's been so secretive. I just... Ngh. And you. You went and fricken' died... So... I can't talk to you about any of this, you jerk."
She sniffed, then blinked several times at the warm stinging sensation she felt at the backs of her eyes. Seconds later tears began to slip down her cheeks, and she wiped at them, like they were an annoyance of some kind.
"Damnit..Toby, you B*stard. I miss you. You keep on making me cry. I wish you'd come back so I can punch you. For dying... and for making me cry... and for not saying good bye to me.... or anyone else for that matter. You're such an ass for doing that."
Seems like Toby... was being called numerous names tonight...Even if he was dead. Maybe it was just her way of venting anger? Probably was.
She paused for a long moment, before she untangled one of the flowers from her hair. "You don't really deserve it, but still... I won't feel right if I leave without giving you something." Following those words, she nestled the flower on the ground next to the box. More tears fell, before she swiped roughly at her cheeks again. Then she pushed herself to her feet quickly, despite the protests it brought from her body. "You know what... It doesn't matter if you come back or not.... the next time I *see* you, whether it's in a dream... or something, or somewhere else... I'm going to punch you. Keep that in mind."
And with that... she turned, and melted back into the darkness.