October Ninth
The Red Dragon Inn
(Major thanks to Toby for this.)
Hop-hop-hop. The girl was feeling rather splendid tonight. For some reason, everything was going the way she wanted it to. Her hair wasn't curled or frayed after her long bath. Her clothes managed to get on without so much as a slight wrinkle, and she wasn't feeling quite so down as she'd been the past week or so. With a shoulder meeting the door, she stepped on inside.
The sound of the door drew him out of the drowsy stupor he'd managed to slip into almost a full minute later. He shifted on the couch and leaned forward, his elbows to his knees. He dug his fingertips into his eyes to clear them before he looked over his shoulder. For a brief moment, he felt like hiding again. "May. You look like you're feeling better."
"Hn? Oh, Toby," the door being released from her grasp right as she enters, it securing in place. She started over his direction, loose hair dragging along the floor like the clean bristles of a new broom. "Y-Yeah, I'm... I-I'm a little better. M-Martyr helped me g-get back on m-my feet," chipper as ever as she explains that. She finds her way to the couch and drops down on one cushion. "W-What are you doing here at this hour?"
He smiled to himself. It was good to hear. Her actually walking on her own was good to hear too. And that she wasn't mad at him. He hadn't known he was worrying about that until now. "Trying to stay awake." He cleared his throat and dragged one hand down his face, pulling his tired expression taut. "I brought a bag here for Alice, I kind of got distracted. Everyone's gone now, though. What about you? Are you glad Melissa's not pulling on your hair anymore to get you to move?"
"Is t-that what she's doing? My head's be-been a little i-itchy..." She thought she'd thrown herself into a pit of lice during the time she was out of commission. "I h-haven't really spoken to her o-or anybody e-else, really. Martyr t-told me that she was t-trying to get Martyr to le-leave or something like that... I'm a l-little upset with her at the moment." Cue the frown, a deep one that creases lines just underneath the puff of rounded cheeks. With her hands on her knees, she sinks into the back of the couch, head inclining, eyes closing.
"She said she was taking you for walks to try and help cheer you up." He slid one hand into his hair, pulling at any knots he felt until strands came free with gentle rips. "You can't really blame her, you know. I know you love Martyr, but you didn't see yourself when she wasn't here. All of us thought you were going to disappear. We were worried about you, that's all."
"I d-don't really remember a-anything that h-happened, either. I... I know it upset Martyr a g-great deal, though. I-If anybody says things that upset her, I c-can't really look past it..." Her eyes drift open, slipping aside to Toby with a hint of diamond sparkling beyond the surface. "W-What was g-going on with me? I d-didn't really ask M-Martyr. I d-don't know that she wants to remember all that." This was spoken as though Toby wouldn't care about being reminded.
"Mmph.." He didn't miss it. He didn't like the feeling he had, the one that begged him to get up and walk away because it didn't matter if he told her or not. But he sighed and stayed where he was, easing back against the couch cushions even to remind his body that it didn't, really, want to be standing yet. "Martyr saw you for one day, we saw you twice as much. It was like you were dead but still walking around. You didn't look at anybody or talk. Melissa said you wouldn't eat anything, you just..weren't you. It's hard to see you unhappy like that, May. You have absolutely no idea."
"It's even worse to know that it was because someone left you. Why the hell didn't you say anything? Do you have *any* idea how much all this scared m--us?"
There were only tidbits of information to work with when it came to that time she roamed RhyDin as a youkai instead of a human. From what she could remember, it sounded familiar. Was it because she tried to heal Kingsley that one day? No... everybody helped her get that under wraps without a hitch. They were convinced there wouldn't be aftereffects so long as it was kept to a minimal. "...I... w-well, Martyr told me she was going back to Sama for a little while. I told her it was a good idea because of what was going on there. I d-didn't think things would get... like t-that...?" She didn't know what that was. But it sounded awful.
He sighed. "Right." He didn't want to understand, and he was kicking whatever invisible drain was sucking his annoyance about the situation away. "...Look, May. Knowing what we knew about what was going on, and that was practically nothing, we had no choice but to think what we did. Getting mad at us like telling us not to give a crap about you, and that's just..that's not you either. You're important to us, you dork. All of us." He grinned sideways, eyeing her from beneath his palm. "I'm happy that you're alright, that you can walk on your own and talk and everything. And that she came back. I didn't want to believe she was like everyone else."
Her head lowered, gaze meeting the point where her legs started to meet beneath the denim she wore. She didn't like to twiddle her thumbs. It gave off the indication that she was feeling pretty sheepish about something. But, some things just cannot be helped. "Ah... y-yeah, I... I mean, no! It's not like that. I didn't know... I w-wouldn't want any of you to jump to conclusions. Not until you a-actually h-hear it from s-somebody that might know w-what's going on. D-Don't you think, if Martyr left, I w-would tell you?"
"You want the truth? I don't know. You don't want people to worry about you, and that's enough for you not to say anything and just deal with it all by yourself. I know how that feels, I really do, and..I don't blame you for feeling like that." He mirrored her, looking down at his own knees instead of her downcast face. "At the same time, I think I was expecting you to. Which is why when you *couldn't* say anything, it just--" He shook his head, licking his lips. "I don't want to see you go through with her what you went through with Evelyn. I don't. So if everything points to her being the cause of your pain, that's what I'm going to think. But it's up to you to make your own choice. And you did the night you woke up. Everything's alright."
She winced slightly, a hand crossing legs in order to take up the opposing wrist. "Nh... I d-didn't say anything a-about her though, did I? ... I d-didn't want to believe she actually found a w-way to take herself home. I t-thought she'd be s-stronger than she was i-in order to throw aside all her r-rules and regulations in order t-to stay with me. T-That's what we planned on. We l-looked forward t-to tomorrow instead of wor-worrying about her going home." Her eyes shot up, straight ahead, giving herself somewhere else to focus her attention besides her legs. "...j-just... d-don't be mad at her. Or me. T-This isn't something she t-thought would h-happen just b-because she needed to go away. I t-told her to. W-We agreed on it all. I-It just kind of... h-happened."
His mouth twitched around a smile. She hadn't just shut Evelyn down. Somehow, he felt that she'd just told him more about herself in the last minute than she ever had in the time he'd known her. "I'm not mad. Anymore, anyway. Once I figured out what was going on, it started to fade. But listen--" He moved his hand, gave the side of her face that he could see an imploring look even though she was trying her best to pay attention to something else. "You're never going to stop being important to me. Never. And I'm always, *always* going to want to protect you. And I know that screws things up sometimes, but I don't do it or feel what I feel because I want to hurt you *worse*. Do you get that..?"
"...I get it," she muttered under her breath to him, fingers rubbing at her wrist to rid the pain that was there. It felt like her bones were hurting more than just a surface pain. "Y-You're my friend, s-so you feel obligated to h-help me when t-things go wr-wrong, right? Th-The only problem is... I d-don't want you to d-do that. I d-don't need you to worry a-about me. I h-have so many people willing to worry about me. S-Some do s-so much that they're... t-they're willing to look over e-everything else in o-order to keep me safe. I j-just want m-my friends, o-or my waifu/. I d-don't... I d-don't need people looking out for me and damaging what e-else is going on. W-Worrying o-only makes things more di-difficult. A-And... n-no offense... s-stuff happens regardless of who tries to get in the way..."
"Friend, yes. Obligated..?" He chuckled weakly. "No. Nothing I do for you or for anyone else is because I feel like I have to, alright? Because you're my friend, I *want* to." They'd been over this before, and their arguments hadn't changed. They never would either. He knew the exact reason why he felt so strongly. Otherwise, he really would have been able to look the other way. He stayed quiet, letting the silence build between them until he couldn't stand the sound of it anymore. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't hit Martyr or threaten her or yell at her or anything." The keyword was Martyr. There was someone else he had to be concerned about.
The Red Dragon Inn
(Major thanks to Toby for this.)
Hop-hop-hop. The girl was feeling rather splendid tonight. For some reason, everything was going the way she wanted it to. Her hair wasn't curled or frayed after her long bath. Her clothes managed to get on without so much as a slight wrinkle, and she wasn't feeling quite so down as she'd been the past week or so. With a shoulder meeting the door, she stepped on inside.
The sound of the door drew him out of the drowsy stupor he'd managed to slip into almost a full minute later. He shifted on the couch and leaned forward, his elbows to his knees. He dug his fingertips into his eyes to clear them before he looked over his shoulder. For a brief moment, he felt like hiding again. "May. You look like you're feeling better."
"Hn? Oh, Toby," the door being released from her grasp right as she enters, it securing in place. She started over his direction, loose hair dragging along the floor like the clean bristles of a new broom. "Y-Yeah, I'm... I-I'm a little better. M-Martyr helped me g-get back on m-my feet," chipper as ever as she explains that. She finds her way to the couch and drops down on one cushion. "W-What are you doing here at this hour?"
He smiled to himself. It was good to hear. Her actually walking on her own was good to hear too. And that she wasn't mad at him. He hadn't known he was worrying about that until now. "Trying to stay awake." He cleared his throat and dragged one hand down his face, pulling his tired expression taut. "I brought a bag here for Alice, I kind of got distracted. Everyone's gone now, though. What about you? Are you glad Melissa's not pulling on your hair anymore to get you to move?"
"Is t-that what she's doing? My head's be-been a little i-itchy..." She thought she'd thrown herself into a pit of lice during the time she was out of commission. "I h-haven't really spoken to her o-or anybody e-else, really. Martyr t-told me that she was t-trying to get Martyr to le-leave or something like that... I'm a l-little upset with her at the moment." Cue the frown, a deep one that creases lines just underneath the puff of rounded cheeks. With her hands on her knees, she sinks into the back of the couch, head inclining, eyes closing.
"She said she was taking you for walks to try and help cheer you up." He slid one hand into his hair, pulling at any knots he felt until strands came free with gentle rips. "You can't really blame her, you know. I know you love Martyr, but you didn't see yourself when she wasn't here. All of us thought you were going to disappear. We were worried about you, that's all."
"I d-don't really remember a-anything that h-happened, either. I... I know it upset Martyr a g-great deal, though. I-If anybody says things that upset her, I c-can't really look past it..." Her eyes drift open, slipping aside to Toby with a hint of diamond sparkling beyond the surface. "W-What was g-going on with me? I d-didn't really ask M-Martyr. I d-don't know that she wants to remember all that." This was spoken as though Toby wouldn't care about being reminded.
"Mmph.." He didn't miss it. He didn't like the feeling he had, the one that begged him to get up and walk away because it didn't matter if he told her or not. But he sighed and stayed where he was, easing back against the couch cushions even to remind his body that it didn't, really, want to be standing yet. "Martyr saw you for one day, we saw you twice as much. It was like you were dead but still walking around. You didn't look at anybody or talk. Melissa said you wouldn't eat anything, you just..weren't you. It's hard to see you unhappy like that, May. You have absolutely no idea."
"It's even worse to know that it was because someone left you. Why the hell didn't you say anything? Do you have *any* idea how much all this scared m--us?"
There were only tidbits of information to work with when it came to that time she roamed RhyDin as a youkai instead of a human. From what she could remember, it sounded familiar. Was it because she tried to heal Kingsley that one day? No... everybody helped her get that under wraps without a hitch. They were convinced there wouldn't be aftereffects so long as it was kept to a minimal. "...I... w-well, Martyr told me she was going back to Sama for a little while. I told her it was a good idea because of what was going on there. I d-didn't think things would get... like t-that...?" She didn't know what that was. But it sounded awful.
He sighed. "Right." He didn't want to understand, and he was kicking whatever invisible drain was sucking his annoyance about the situation away. "...Look, May. Knowing what we knew about what was going on, and that was practically nothing, we had no choice but to think what we did. Getting mad at us like telling us not to give a crap about you, and that's just..that's not you either. You're important to us, you dork. All of us." He grinned sideways, eyeing her from beneath his palm. "I'm happy that you're alright, that you can walk on your own and talk and everything. And that she came back. I didn't want to believe she was like everyone else."
Her head lowered, gaze meeting the point where her legs started to meet beneath the denim she wore. She didn't like to twiddle her thumbs. It gave off the indication that she was feeling pretty sheepish about something. But, some things just cannot be helped. "Ah... y-yeah, I... I mean, no! It's not like that. I didn't know... I w-wouldn't want any of you to jump to conclusions. Not until you a-actually h-hear it from s-somebody that might know w-what's going on. D-Don't you think, if Martyr left, I w-would tell you?"
"You want the truth? I don't know. You don't want people to worry about you, and that's enough for you not to say anything and just deal with it all by yourself. I know how that feels, I really do, and..I don't blame you for feeling like that." He mirrored her, looking down at his own knees instead of her downcast face. "At the same time, I think I was expecting you to. Which is why when you *couldn't* say anything, it just--" He shook his head, licking his lips. "I don't want to see you go through with her what you went through with Evelyn. I don't. So if everything points to her being the cause of your pain, that's what I'm going to think. But it's up to you to make your own choice. And you did the night you woke up. Everything's alright."
She winced slightly, a hand crossing legs in order to take up the opposing wrist. "Nh... I d-didn't say anything a-about her though, did I? ... I d-didn't want to believe she actually found a w-way to take herself home. I t-thought she'd be s-stronger than she was i-in order to throw aside all her r-rules and regulations in order t-to stay with me. T-That's what we planned on. We l-looked forward t-to tomorrow instead of wor-worrying about her going home." Her eyes shot up, straight ahead, giving herself somewhere else to focus her attention besides her legs. "...j-just... d-don't be mad at her. Or me. T-This isn't something she t-thought would h-happen just b-because she needed to go away. I t-told her to. W-We agreed on it all. I-It just kind of... h-happened."
His mouth twitched around a smile. She hadn't just shut Evelyn down. Somehow, he felt that she'd just told him more about herself in the last minute than she ever had in the time he'd known her. "I'm not mad. Anymore, anyway. Once I figured out what was going on, it started to fade. But listen--" He moved his hand, gave the side of her face that he could see an imploring look even though she was trying her best to pay attention to something else. "You're never going to stop being important to me. Never. And I'm always, *always* going to want to protect you. And I know that screws things up sometimes, but I don't do it or feel what I feel because I want to hurt you *worse*. Do you get that..?"
"...I get it," she muttered under her breath to him, fingers rubbing at her wrist to rid the pain that was there. It felt like her bones were hurting more than just a surface pain. "Y-You're my friend, s-so you feel obligated to h-help me when t-things go wr-wrong, right? Th-The only problem is... I d-don't want you to d-do that. I d-don't need you to worry a-about me. I h-have so many people willing to worry about me. S-Some do s-so much that they're... t-they're willing to look over e-everything else in o-order to keep me safe. I j-just want m-my friends, o-or my waifu/. I d-don't... I d-don't need people looking out for me and damaging what e-else is going on. W-Worrying o-only makes things more di-difficult. A-And... n-no offense... s-stuff happens regardless of who tries to get in the way..."
"Friend, yes. Obligated..?" He chuckled weakly. "No. Nothing I do for you or for anyone else is because I feel like I have to, alright? Because you're my friend, I *want* to." They'd been over this before, and their arguments hadn't changed. They never would either. He knew the exact reason why he felt so strongly. Otherwise, he really would have been able to look the other way. He stayed quiet, letting the silence build between them until he couldn't stand the sound of it anymore. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't hit Martyr or threaten her or yell at her or anything." The keyword was Martyr. There was someone else he had to be concerned about.