Money was something that Danny had to be more concerned about ever since he moved into Kesey. Sure, the place wasn't that expensive, but it was more than the Inn. His current day job at the farm wasn't paying well since there wasn't much to do in the cold months, and truth be told, he didn't spend many days there anyway. It was mainly just a cover for his night activities.

Yet still, money had to be made somehow, so Danny took inspiration from one Kazzy Hart and started looking for odd jobs. One of them was being a mall Santa for a few weeks. Curiously, the same mall recently got a hold of him and invited him back for another interview. Which is why Danny was currently in some small barely lit, hardly ventilated office sitting across from someone who might as well be the don of some mafia that ran a very deserted part of town.

"Mister Brooks! We're so glad you decided to come back to us! We received so many compliments from your last job that we knew you were the only one we wanted for this one!"

Danny opted to not mention talking to two other people waiting in the lounge with applications and the three he saw exit before being called in. "Not a problem, Mister Lloyd. But it's a bit early for mall Santas, isn't it?"

The man lifted his hand, his fingers looked like they were holding an invisible cigar. Maybe it was imaginary instead. "It is! But we have something else in mind! We're going to take advantage of all the holidays we can now! People love seeing a physical representation of holidays when they shop! Plus it reminds them to buy more things! So this is what we want you to do for us!" He turned a photo over and slid it across the table to Danny.

Danny tried not to frown as he looked at the picture of the little half-naked cherub with a bow and arrow, but he was sure his eyes betrayed him. But he was cut off before he could speak.

"We'll pay you a month's pay for two weeks of work! We will even pay for the costume! We have this toy that shoots foam arrows all ready to go!"

Danny made a face at the idea of wearing a little white wrapping that was bought by someone else, which may be shared by someone else. "I don't know. You want me to just walk around in skivvies shooting people with foam arrows?"

"You'll also have a sash and wings and a bag with candy hearts to give out!"

Danny sighed, his palm covering his face.

"Plus!" the man yelled, like he was in an infomercial. "We also have another idea! You know how kids these days hate love and are all into wearing black and being all melodramatic. Well! We're going to create someone just for them, and you can split time wearing that costume too!" The man flipped over another picture, this time Cupid was wearing black jeans two sizes too small which barely covered his pelvis, eyeliner, and had his nails painted black. Curiously, he carried the same toy gun. "Cupid is Eros, right? Well this is Emos! You'll say how depressing love is while handing out SOUR candy hearts with negative phrases of love on them! Whaddya say, kid?"

"I--"

"We'll give you two month's pay!"

Danny looked at the two pictures for what seemed an eternity. Then he sighed. "When do I start?"

"Danny, my boy! How is my most popular attraction?" the apple-shaped, unshaven Mall boss threw his arms wide open as he asked the question. Danny was reluctantly pulled into a hug, the smell of cigarettes and cheap third-rate cologne filling his nostrils and nearly bowling him over. If was only the short stubby arms around his waist that kept him on his feet.

"Uh. Okay. But why did you want to see me?" Danny asked, leaning as far away from the man as he could. Unable to turn his gaze from the one lone, long hair which was combed over his boss' otherwise bald head. "I still have the Santa costume and I'm drawing well."

"No!" the boss shouted, Danny could taste the tobacco in the air which spewed from the man's mouth. "Santa is old news! I called you in here because we're going in a different direction this year!"

"Different direction?" Danny was afraid to ask, but the words still escaped his lips in a hushed tone.

"Yes! I present to you... ZANTA KLAUZ!" he turned as he yelled, motioning his two associates to pull the curtain behind him open. It slowly opened, presenting Danny with the sight of the name "ZANTA KLAUZ" all in bold, capital letters and designed in a way reminiscent of a metal band, with the two 'Z's meeting in an underline beneath the words. Below it was a throne which sat upon a mountain of fake (or Danny hoped they were fake) skulls that belonged to either children or elves. A suit was pinned up, which was nothing more than a loincloth and two straps to fit over his chest. On one side a sword, on the other a mistletoe. A bag was beside the throne, full of wrapped gifts.

"You see Danny my boy, Santa is too soft. Not edgy enough! So we decided that children needed a better incentive to be good," the boss kept speaking as he lit another cigarette, puffing away. "So here comes Zanta Klauz! He kills the really naughty children! And no bowlful of jelly here! Rock hard abs!" he said as he patted Danny on his flat stomach. Danny remained in a state of shock. "It'll be all the rage! You'll get more females in to sit on your lap! And the mistletoe! They can hold it up and get a kiss. But beware! If they're naughty and kiss you, you can use your sword to take their head and their children's head!"

Danny blinked once.

"I can see you're fully on board! You start tomorrow! Triple normal pay because you're the only one we have who is fit enough to wear it. And you'll be working twice as much. But it's an easy job! Oh, but you still wear a cap. That's too important, our studies say. But other than that, take your costume home and get used to it!"

Danny sighed as he covered his eyes with his hand. He muttered something like "Can't believe I'm doing this" and "So embarrassing" before sighing out the word "Fine."