The 2015 RhyDin Invitational Stakes
Saturday, May 23, 2015
? . . . Ladies and Gentleman, if you will direct your attention to the center of the track, you will see our Guests of Honor at this year?s running of the RhyDin Invitational Stakes! Introducing first, from Perrigan?s Rangers, he?s a former Overlord and two-time Diamond, give a round of applause for GrenBlockman! And last but certainly not least, RhyDin?s favorite noble steed! He?s grumpy! He?s feisty! Put your hands together for the one and only, Alfred the Disgruntled Unicorn!!!!?
The loudspeaker boomed out its announcement to the crowd. Gren and Alfred were standing in the middle of the Invitational Stakes racetrack on a wooden platform, with members of the press and racing fans gathered around for a Questions & Answers session. Gren had agreed to appear with Alfred at this year?s race, donating his appearance fee to charity. He told Alfred if he agreed to appear, he wouldn?t have to be on ?noble steed? duty for two weeks. Alfred had his shiny mane shampooed and combed for the occasion. Gren was giving the crowd a little wave and smile while Alfred just sulked.
?Alfred! Alfred! How does it feel to be the Guest of Honor at this year?s Invitational?? One of the members of the press asked.
?Oh, I?m so happy that sparkly, magical rainbows are about to shoot out of my ass?, he replied.
?Easy?, Gren gave him a warning glare, before turning back to the press.?We?re happy to be here, and hopefully raise awareness for the conservation efforts going on to help save RhyDin?s forests.?
?What about you, Alfred? Are you here to help RhyDin?s forests??
?I?m here for the mares?, Alfred said, eyeballing one of the female racing horses that was being led to the starting gate. The audience titters with laughter while Gren looks mortified. ?But hey, if I can save a few trees and get Gren off my back, it kills two birds with one stone. Besides, it?s better than a riding session with little kids that stick chewing gum in my mane and doodle on my back with crayons.?
?Alfred, what does it take to be a noble steed??
?Well, to be a noble steed, you have to come from good breeding stock. You see, my mother was Welsh, and my father was Hungarian. Which makes me ?Wel-Hung?! Hehheh. I think you know what I mean.?
?Did you really have to say that?? Gren said in a strangled whisper as the audience laughed louder.
Just then, the favorite to win the Invitational pranced by, being led by his jockey. He was a brown thoroughbred by the name of ?Vain Cavalier?, who had won several races throughout the city already.
?Alright, the sideshow is over. Yes, it?s me, Vain Cavalier. Yes, I am the favorite. Yes, I know what a thrill it is for you to see such a powerful specimen of a thoroughbred like myself. Please, please, no flash photography. I don?t want my retinas damaged before race time. There are 5 by 7 glossies available at the gift shop?, Vain Cavalier said to the assembled crowd. They already began to ignore Gren and Alfred and push toward the arrogant thoroughbred.
?Hey, what?s with this?? Alfred objected. Gren shrugged. Alfred then glanced back at Vain Cavalier. ?Hey look, pal. Our Q & A ain?t over yet. So why don?t you just prance right on over to the gate, huh??
?What makes you think you can order a famous athlete such as myself around? I am the preeminent racing horse in the city and I don?t take orders from a mere . . . mere . . . unicorn?, Vain Cavalier scoffed at Alfred.
?Why you little . . . so you think you?re better than me, huh??
?It should be obvious?, Vain Cavalier sniffed. ?Your ridiculous ?noble steed? routine is detracting attention away from my record setting career. *I* am the best horse in this City, and I?m going to prove it. Now if you?ll excuse me, I have a race to win.? Vain Cavalier tilted his head up haughtily and strutted over to the starting gate.
?Oh, that settles it. This is an invitational, right? Anybody can enter?? Alfred asked a nearby official.
?Uh, that?s right.? The official looked perplexed.
?Well I just entered?, Alfred said, nodding to the official. ?Let?s go, Gren.?
?Hey! Take it easy! You?ve never been in a race before!? Gren went bug-eyed with shock and was trying to hold Alfred back from the gate.
?No way I?m letting that smug jerk punk me out like that. I?ll show him.?
Before Gren could object, Alfred was getting a horse blanket with the number 9 thrown over his back and a racing harness fitted over his head. One of the attendants handed the reins to Gren and patted him on the back.
?Good luck, Mister Blockman?, he said.
Gren gaped at the reins, then at Alfred. ?What just happened?? Gren asked, bewildered.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
? . . . Ladies and Gentleman, if you will direct your attention to the center of the track, you will see our Guests of Honor at this year?s running of the RhyDin Invitational Stakes! Introducing first, from Perrigan?s Rangers, he?s a former Overlord and two-time Diamond, give a round of applause for GrenBlockman! And last but certainly not least, RhyDin?s favorite noble steed! He?s grumpy! He?s feisty! Put your hands together for the one and only, Alfred the Disgruntled Unicorn!!!!?
The loudspeaker boomed out its announcement to the crowd. Gren and Alfred were standing in the middle of the Invitational Stakes racetrack on a wooden platform, with members of the press and racing fans gathered around for a Questions & Answers session. Gren had agreed to appear with Alfred at this year?s race, donating his appearance fee to charity. He told Alfred if he agreed to appear, he wouldn?t have to be on ?noble steed? duty for two weeks. Alfred had his shiny mane shampooed and combed for the occasion. Gren was giving the crowd a little wave and smile while Alfred just sulked.
?Alfred! Alfred! How does it feel to be the Guest of Honor at this year?s Invitational?? One of the members of the press asked.
?Oh, I?m so happy that sparkly, magical rainbows are about to shoot out of my ass?, he replied.
?Easy?, Gren gave him a warning glare, before turning back to the press.?We?re happy to be here, and hopefully raise awareness for the conservation efforts going on to help save RhyDin?s forests.?
?What about you, Alfred? Are you here to help RhyDin?s forests??
?I?m here for the mares?, Alfred said, eyeballing one of the female racing horses that was being led to the starting gate. The audience titters with laughter while Gren looks mortified. ?But hey, if I can save a few trees and get Gren off my back, it kills two birds with one stone. Besides, it?s better than a riding session with little kids that stick chewing gum in my mane and doodle on my back with crayons.?
?Alfred, what does it take to be a noble steed??
?Well, to be a noble steed, you have to come from good breeding stock. You see, my mother was Welsh, and my father was Hungarian. Which makes me ?Wel-Hung?! Hehheh. I think you know what I mean.?
?Did you really have to say that?? Gren said in a strangled whisper as the audience laughed louder.
Just then, the favorite to win the Invitational pranced by, being led by his jockey. He was a brown thoroughbred by the name of ?Vain Cavalier?, who had won several races throughout the city already.
?Alright, the sideshow is over. Yes, it?s me, Vain Cavalier. Yes, I am the favorite. Yes, I know what a thrill it is for you to see such a powerful specimen of a thoroughbred like myself. Please, please, no flash photography. I don?t want my retinas damaged before race time. There are 5 by 7 glossies available at the gift shop?, Vain Cavalier said to the assembled crowd. They already began to ignore Gren and Alfred and push toward the arrogant thoroughbred.
?Hey, what?s with this?? Alfred objected. Gren shrugged. Alfred then glanced back at Vain Cavalier. ?Hey look, pal. Our Q & A ain?t over yet. So why don?t you just prance right on over to the gate, huh??
?What makes you think you can order a famous athlete such as myself around? I am the preeminent racing horse in the city and I don?t take orders from a mere . . . mere . . . unicorn?, Vain Cavalier scoffed at Alfred.
?Why you little . . . so you think you?re better than me, huh??
?It should be obvious?, Vain Cavalier sniffed. ?Your ridiculous ?noble steed? routine is detracting attention away from my record setting career. *I* am the best horse in this City, and I?m going to prove it. Now if you?ll excuse me, I have a race to win.? Vain Cavalier tilted his head up haughtily and strutted over to the starting gate.
?Oh, that settles it. This is an invitational, right? Anybody can enter?? Alfred asked a nearby official.
?Uh, that?s right.? The official looked perplexed.
?Well I just entered?, Alfred said, nodding to the official. ?Let?s go, Gren.?
?Hey! Take it easy! You?ve never been in a race before!? Gren went bug-eyed with shock and was trying to hold Alfred back from the gate.
?No way I?m letting that smug jerk punk me out like that. I?ll show him.?
Before Gren could object, Alfred was getting a horse blanket with the number 9 thrown over his back and a racing harness fitted over his head. One of the attendants handed the reins to Gren and patted him on the back.
?Good luck, Mister Blockman?, he said.
Gren gaped at the reins, then at Alfred. ?What just happened?? Gren asked, bewildered.