The instructions that Bran had received told him to wait for a carriage that would come by the Armory in Battlefield Park. The Armory was his Baronial manor that he had won in Duel of Swords. Bran put on a tuxedo and a blue tie with little claw marks, and his blue, scaly tail stuck out of his pants. He was standing by the foyer in the doorway, looking out into the dusky twilight.
?Gee, I wonder who it could be? I hope she?ssss cute! You know, my reptilian charisssma can be too much for sssome lizardwomen to handle, heh heh heh . . . . ?
Suddenly, a black carriage came rolling down the road, and the driver reigned in the horses with a clatter in front of Bran. Bran adjusted his tie and was about to move towards the carriage, but he paused in mid-step. Instead of a doorman appearing to open the carriage for him, a man in a tuxedo and holding a microphone appeared through the roof of the carriage.
?Ladies and Gentlemen! We are PROOOOOOUD to be here in the WOOOOONDERFUL Barony of Battlefield Park! Now let me introduce to you . . . direct from three straight sold-out weeks at the Thorny Rose Theater in Dragon?s Gate! PUT YOUR CLAAAAAAWS TOGETHER . . . for the BROAD! WAY! NIIIIIIINJAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!?
Music began to emit from the carriage, and it sounded something like this:
Bum . . . . . Bum . . . . . Bum . . . . . Bum Dah Bum Bum . . . . Bum . . . . Bum . . . . Bum Dah Bum . . . .
The door flew open, and one by one, a troupe of ninjas stepped out. Each of them were wearing the trademark black ninja suit, black masks covering their faces except for their eyes, and sporting various (and theatrically large) throwing stars and katanas strapped on their bodies. Each of them were snapping their fingers and bouncing their shoulders up and down to the music. As they filed out of the carriage and began to form a semi-circle around Bran, they sang this chorus over and over again:
?We are the Ninjas! We are the Ninjaaaas! We are the Ninjas! We are the Ninjaaaaaaas!?
Bran stood gaping at the sight and was in too much shock to speak at first. The last ninja stepped in front of the semi-circle of snapping ninjas and pointed his finger at Bran, threw his head back imperiously, and began to sing:
?Greetings Baron Bran, of the Battlefield Paaaaark! It?s time to take you to your rendezvous in the daaaaark! The Ninjas are here and we will all be your guiiiiiide! To take you on your journey to your possible briiiiiiide! We?ll clear a path so you can meet with your destin-yyyyy! And we?ll smash the opposition like ?The Dragon?, Bruce Leeeeeee!?
Here the ninjas stopped their snapping and broke into a series of karate chops, aerial kicks, pirouettes, and backflips.
Bran blinked rapidly at the theatrical ninjas, and his instincts for self-preservation kicked in. ?Ummmm . . . you know what? I changed my mind. I?ve got all thisssss paperwork I have to do, and . . . . um . . . . I?m sssuddenly not feeling well . . . and . . . um . . . my ssskin issss sssstarting to shed. It?sss that time of the ssseassson, you know, ssso I?ll jussst be . . . . . ?
?Don?t try to argue and don?t try to fiiiiiight! You?re outnumbered greatly, it?s a terrible pliiiiiight! The Ninjas have you covered there is nowhere to fleeeeee! You?re better off surrendering to us quiet-lyyyyy! And if you?re thinking of retreat or something else you might doooooooo! There?s a Ninja that is poised to strike . . .?
Here all the Ninjas point simultaneously in Bran?s direction.
?*******RIGHT BEHIND ?YOOOOOOUUUUU!*******?
?AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!? Bran screamed and jumped three feet into the air. Unfortunately for him, that meant right into the frame of the doorway, and he bonked his scaly head. He then collapsed into a heap on the ground. The ninjas ran up, executing more pirouettes and karate chops, and surrounded the fallen lizardman.
?Put ?im in the carriage!? said a nearby ninja, putting his left hand on his hip and jabbing his thumb over his shoulder at a ninja behind him.
?Put ?im in the carriage!? said that ninja, mimicking the same movements.
?Put ?im in the carriage!? the third ninja said.
The fourth ninja winked overdramatically, and all four grab Bran and lift him in the air.
Carrying him towards the carriage, the other ninjas fell into formation, the ones following on the sides snapping their fingers menacingly, while the ninjas in front and back kept up their shadowbox karate chops and kicks.
Bran painfully became aware of his surroundings again and cries out. ?Aaaaah! No! I don?t want to go in the scary black carriage! Put me down!?
?Don?t try to struggle and don?t try to waaaaail! Or we?ll gouge out your eyeballs and cut off your taaaaaail! In this Carriage of Destruction you will go for a Riiiiide! Or we will break your knees and toes and skin your lizard-y hiiiiiide!?
One of the ninjas opens the door to the black carriage, and the four holding the screaming Bran launched him feet first into the carriage like a lawn dart. The ninjas then marched one by one into the carriage, snapping and humming their chorus. Once they were all in, the carriage flew off down the road towards its undisclosed location. Bran could be seen in the back window with his face and claws pressed up against the glass, yowling.
The carriage stopped in front of its destination, and Bran was jettisoned from the door like an empty shell from a shotgun. Standing up, Bran turned to see the ninjas sticking their heads out of the windows, and they began to sing once more:
?We brought you to the meeting place, just like we saaaaid! And we didn?t harm a scale on your rep-til-i-an heaaaaaaad! We hope you have enjoyed your trip, our work here is dooooone! We hope you found our Ninja games a whole lot of fuuuuuun! And now - its time - the Ninjas have to vanish from siiiiiight! Fade away back into the RhyDinian niiiiiiight! And if you ever meet us by the light of the moooon! Then you can bet your bottom dollar we?ll be KILLING YOU SOOOOOON!? The ninjas do the ?jazz hands? thing, waving their hands next to their face and slowly pulling their heads back into the shadowy recesses of the carriage while singing their chorus line ?We are the Ninjas! We are the Ninjaaaaaas!? The carriage then lurched off down the road.
Bran groggily watched the ninjas drive off in the carriage, turned to take a few wobbly steps, and pitched face first into the dirt, kicking up a cloud of dust around him.
Bran Bale had arrived.