Sitting at his desk, he glances over her latest notifications. Chuckling softly, he pulls out a quill and parchment and begins to scribe her a reply.

My Dearest Love..

I've had the time to go over your interesting proposal. Perhaps I might offer up a few suggestions of my own? Perhaps your patrons would be interested in a bit of "Fly Fondue"..or maybe even "Grub Etoufee"? For desert one might be inclined to dip into the "Moth Marzipan" or even the "Sludge Fudge".. What do you think?

Nicholas..

::Just shakes his head at the menu::

Tara....you are in need of serious help... we are people..not scavengers. Normal people do not eat bugs...FIX THE MENU!!!


Signed, The Chief Complainer.

Dearest Sylus,

As someone whose name ends with "The Virus," I should think you would be the LAST person to be talking about me needing help when you so clearly are the one in desperate need of it. Not I, says the Fly.

As for the menu, I will NOT fix it, you bubble-headed pickaninny!

Don't talk to me about "normal" people because I happen to be the resident expert on it seeing as I am one. And if I wasn't so busy lording over you all the time, I just might have been their leader! Just look at what I give up to manage you! Why, you ungrateful, sour-pussed, complainer's complainer, you!

My menu is perfect! The food is going to be fantabulous! People are going to flock to my cafe in droves! You wanna know why, Sylus?! Because people love me! They can't help themselves! I'm too beautiful and intelligent NOT to like! So shut yer damn piehole and go do something constructive like passing out flyers for me!

And Sylus, so help me God, if you so much as go around telling people not to eat my food, I'm going to cram a slice of Cockroach Quiche so far down your throat, you're going to need the Jaws of Life just to get it back out again!

Signed,

Your Boss

Tara...how many husbands have you had??


"Snooklepuff" ::dies::

Chicken Avengers memo RE: Bugberry cafe Menu.

To whom it may concern (This meas you Miss Aeryn),

Chicken? ARE YOU COMPLETELY NUTS? There is nothing wrong with a good heatlhy serving of bugs, High in protiens and essential nutiriants. And if you are allergic to protiens... I sugest the the Fluffly pink sunset mushroom soup.... I hear its to die for.

Yours,
The Chicken Avenger.

Hmmmm.......

Not that I would -EVER- second guess the diet of a woman with child (especially when those women are Tara and Kina); still if it's all the same to you, I think I'll stick to that liquid diet of mine.

::gloved fingers lovingly caress a half empty bottle of whiskey (yep....pessimist to the end!)::

Orc? Do people really eat that? Im a carnivore and I shudder at the thought...

OHH but Orc rhymes with Fork tara! and cork, and spork... I can just see the menu item, " Spork-ful of Orc crepes"...

Pimple! I'll get the medical kit ready..

::She sniffed:: Who would want your autograph? And why wasn't I invited?

"But you're shorter then me so I'd be in the background," she argued. That made perfect sense to her as did, "'sides..you're only famous round here because you have me as your Empress."

Left pigtail pops up on end. Head tilt.

"Isn't jello what they's feed the old peoples down at the nursin home when they ain't got nuh teethies left?"

Right pigtail joins left. Head tilt in opposite direction. Yeah, Kina had her attention.

"Tara never knew tha'. Nick never ask her to roll 'round in jello 'fore," she said.

This tidbit of new info got D.C.K. thinking. If men liked to see women play around in jello and she didn't know this because no man ever told her as much, what would her romantic life have been like had she known?

"All those missed opportunities!" she whined, sinking to her knees, and clutching at her hair.

As if marrying ninety percent of the RhyDinian male population as it is wasn't sufficient, Tara now felt the need to feel cheated somehow.

"Why am I always the last to know!"

Her mouth popped open and she stared at Jewel.

Profession Jello-wrestler?

For years?

The horror.

"You never told me tha!" she whined.

Naturally, the next course of action was to ask a question.

"How do one become a professional jello-wrestler?" she asked, closing the distance between them as her eyes expanded to ridiculous proportions.

"Can Tara be one too? Huh? Preeeeese!"

An oh so evil grin from the catilng "give me a little bit ti get it set up... that grandstands take some asmebling, And I have to have time to sell tickets. Now wheres that chicken..."