Were she not a tidy person by nature, Elle might have just had the messiest room in the entire compound, not only due to her reluctance to leave it's sanctuary for any sort of extended period of time, but also due to her voracious appetite. For such a small female, she consumed much, though it seemed that her 'caretakers' had realized the needs of her body long ago, and had since been providing her with more nutrient and calorie packed provisions, rather than just the normal food the patients received... She would have cleaned out their kitchen at her normal rate. Had she not been in such a need for it, Elle would have exercised a bit of restraint for modesty's sake and taken the loss of a few pounds(not that she had many to spare on a normal day), but. Unfortunately, she'd been little more than a fleshy skeleton when Kalinda had brought her in. Kalinda. A name she'd come to recognize early, once she came to some manner of her senses. Now, surrounded by a bevy of pamphlets she'd slowly been procuring from the entirety of the hospital, from surgery information to flyers for local establishments, Elle curled both her legs up tight, reading down the line of her knees at one page or another. Kidney functions, a missing dog, 'casual jeans friday', tips on how to keep exercise a part of a busy day.

Speaking of Kalinda, her rounds at the Clinic began quite early. A stabbing victim here, a casualty of magical fire there. So many of these could have been fatal, were it not for the level of care provided. One room, however, remained sacrosanct. After witnessing her patient's reluctance for normal means of recuperation, she'd exercised her right as Head of the Trauma Ward to ensure the poor girl's privacy. Other than the occasional recovery of refuse left outside of the door, Kali left specific orders that this room remained undisturbed. Once she'd completed her rounds, however, she approached the door with a winsome smile, and gently rapped a knuckle on the frame.

The pattern was familiar enough, but, with much reluctance, she unwound her limbs and slid down off the bed to the floor. Not that there was much sliding, she wasn't overly short by nature, just a bit bendable. Perhaps that came with her nature too. Elle could never quite tell; she'd not encountered another soul exactly like her. Similar, yes, but not an exact carbon copy. Thoughts buzzed in her head again by the time she peeked about the adjacent window blinds and opened the door. She was glassy eyed again, but at least this time not from tears, just thoughts. A wane smile crossed her features, and there came that mild sense of embarrassment again. She wasn't used to being under such scrutiny. "Early afternoon to you, Ms. Acheron." Stepping back, she opened the door fully for her.

"Please. Kali will do quite nicely. I'm not old enough for Ms. Acheron. How are you feeling today?" No clipboard in hand, no stethoscope around her neck. The only concession speaking 'doctor' being the scrubs she wore, although 'wore' might be a misnomer. In order to access her tattoos, she wore the upper part as a sleeveless vest, and the pants with the side-seams removed. Casually, she located a chair to seat herself gracefully into.

"Fine physically." The 'patient' answered quickly enough. Closing a door without any extra ounce of noise was a skill one developed out of years of practice. Such was a practice that Elle had, and exercised now, as she closed her own. Watching as Kalinda set herself to a chair, she wasn't long in doing the same; pamphlets or no pamphlets, a chair suited her just fine. Not having had the urge to try sneaking out and home yet, she'd settled for whatever clothes they'd brought her, and given the setting, those clothes weren't far from Kalinda's own at the moment. Heck, down the hallway, she'd probably look like an intern or assistant beside her.

"And otherwise? I imagine you might be feeling somewhat claustrophobic, being cooped up in here." True, the television worked, and movies were provided, but staring at the same four walls was not her idea of ideal recovery. "Perhaps . . . you would like to venture outside? Fresh air, and other such niceties?"

"I've been out in the building." Elle knew that wasn't something she had to say, given the parade of paper on her bed in neat little stacks. She was intelligent, she knew what Kalinda was getting at. As far as she'd heard, there had been damage to her apartment complex, but nothing truly damaging that meant she'd lost any of her home or belongings. She knew Charles was back, she knew the library was under construction and had been temporarily closed... Things were healing outside too. But inside.

"How does someone walk around after having had so much blood on their hands?" In Elle's case, it had been rocky, three times their normal size hands; nowhere near her own. But still. Troops that helped destroy the library, evil lord. It hadn't mattered much to her later. She'd killed people, several. She looked at her hands in quite a different way now.

With a sigh, Kalinda leaned forward, intertwining her fingers and resting her elbows upon her knees. "One step at a time." An echo of experience in her voice, matched by the faint tinge of pain in her eyes. "Taking a life shouldn't ever be easy. Sometimes necessary to survive, but never easy."

It sounded silly in her head, and Elle knew it'd sound even sillier once she'd said it, but that didn't make it any less true. "It's not quite the same in books. Though the words mean quite a great deal more now, I suppose." There. There it was. One thing to be thankful for that she hadn't thought of before. Understanding. The key to the means. It crossed her face as suddenly as it crossed her busy thoughts, dilating her pupils a bit as her eyes fell sideways. She couldn't look at Kalinda's pain, lest it remind her too keenly of her own. "I'm just glad Charles is all right." She added quietly.

"As am I. But, if I may ask . . . what do you wish to do? I can't imagine hiding here to be a satisfying way to pass the time." No, Kalinda's ideas on that topic were best left unspoken, at least in the present company.

Saying that Elle hadn't delved off into questions of that nature since she'd been keeping inside her room would be a lie. In fact, she could think of several things she'd rather be doing, but some still frightened her, because for once in her life, she found she didn't want to be completely alone. Or... At least not isolated. One could still be alone in the midst of a crowd, but the crowd was a comforting buffer. A distraction. Things that kept her from darker thoughts. "... I just wish I could find something to occupy my time with. Work, reading, personal studies. Unfortunately with the library closed, there isn't much left for me to do at the moment save fuss."

Kali pondered this for but a moment, or seemed to. "Hmmm. I might just have the solution for you. I know of another library, one somewhat . . . different . . . than what you may be used to. I might be able to inquire as to an opening there, if you'd like."

Elle perked up almost immediately, and out of habit, she touched the side of her face, her fingers bumping against the edge of her glasses. It was a tick, nothing too horrible. She had several, as most people did. "I would like that very much... A library is a library. Some are a bit more complex or extensive than others, but the means of referencing are a wonderfully meditative process."

"Now, said library is at the site of a new school. Is that something agreeable to you?" Word spread fast in this town, but having connections didn't hurt either. "It would mean interacting with the students on some level."

Though she didn't perk this time, she didn't seem disturbed either, in fact, she had a small smile in place. "Children are something I'm not too intimidated by. Charles and I used to organize reading days for them and set up nooks in the library on sunday afternoons. I do take charge of a public system from time to time, Ms. Acheron, helping people is no trouble."

"I wouldn't call them . . . children. Perhaps, you should see for yourself? And please, it's Kali, remember? I will return in just a moment." Yes, she did know the great secret, and yes, she did know when a secret should be kept. Rising from the chair, she smiled once again, and slipped out the door, long legs carrying her with a purpose.

Curiousity piqued, Elle turned just enough to follow Kalinda's progress with her eyes. That is, until she couldn't follow her progress any longer. Turning back to the bed, she began to poke about a particular pile of pamphlets, searching for something. "Schools... Institutes. There were several." And indeed, there were; one of which belonged to the place that seemed far too dark for her tastes. She sincerely hoped that wasn't it.

No pamphlet for this one, as it seemed the bulk of the students advertised themselves. The tall tattooed woman returned swiftly, carrying a large manila envelope beneath her arm, and a small cloth bag in the other hand. Once again, she knocked softly, but this time she entered of her own accord. "Here we are." Elle turned back at the sound of Kali's voice, straightening a bit from the natural hunch she'd taken on during her little search through her collection of papers. Hearing Kalinda, she figured the we was... well. Hopefully children, but something told her otherwise. Probably the tone of voice, or the addition of affects on her person.

A mysterious smile graced her lips as she handed over the envelope, holding back the bag for now. "Try this on, and see what you think." Inside, three articles. A lock of fur, a tiny syringe of crimson, and the tip of a claw. "I've brought something suitable to wear afterward."

The bits and pieces made her skeptical almost immediately, but, there was always that lingering curiosity that got her in trouble, much like, well a cat. She cradled that little claw tip carefully, letting it roll slowly between the natural creases of her hand as she balanced the envelope on her lap. Elle didn't dare guess the syringe was anything other than what she assumed it was, and left it completely alone. The fur on the other hand was another story; that she inspected without much fuss. The absorption was almost immediate. It showed in the bright blue of her irises as they flicked a gentle, almost neutral gray, then steeled into a firmer color as they shifted completely. Her lips parted in a means to gasp, but nothing came out, the change was already in motion like some macabre animation. Bones didn't snap, sinew didn't pop and crack; she was no were by any means, no. Her body poured up into the new form as surely as water up the unwary arm. There was no pain, only shock. The growth of rusty fur, the extension of limbs and the growth of wicked, feline fingernails. Claws. Much like the tip she still held in her hand, though the hand had darkened in pigment considerably. The most alarming was the long, long tail she had curling at her side when all was said and done; she could control it just like a third limb, and did so almost immediately by curling it about the leg of her chair, as if to brace herself. "... Who. What race is this?" In truth, she was unfamiliar with it. And it showed.

Kali slowly walked around the end of the bed, appraising this new appearance with a smile. "They are called Kirn. Quite a playful race, actually. And as curious as . . . well, I'm sure you can guess." Gently, she set the bag on the bed. "Here. Go try this on, and see what you think."

Yes. Elle would immediately, if only for the extreme discomfort of how ill her clothing now fit. Cursing inwardly as the feeling came back into her groin once she managed to peel her pants off. There was no qualm for her and the nudity, at least not with Kalinda. She treated it as it was meant to be treated, thought of it as how it was supposed to be thought of as. This was a hospital after all, or, well, a clinic. The contents of the bag were slipped on one bit at a time, and though were more revealing that what she'd wear on a daily basis in her own body, they seemed just right on the one she carried herself in now. Giving into a quick series of twists, turns, and a happy tail whips, Elle found herself laughing. "Well... These were perfect. How did you manage to figure that?" Turning back to Kalinda, there was an easy sort of contentment settling onto her new face.

"I have a . . . knack with clothing, it would seem. And how does this form feel to you?" Nudity, of course, being a state of perspective, as the rusty fur covered a great deal more than it exposed. Still, she nodded with her approval. "I'm glad the clothing suits you."

"In a word, it's fabulous. Their strength is more than human, for sure, and the energy here is all sorts of wonderful. Do you have any literature on the Kirn? I'd love to know more about them, about this. There are too many questions that experimenting during day to day life can satiate..." Several compound sentences in a single breath, or near one. Quite the feat for Elle, Kirn, Human, or otherwise. But a tangent was building, and the want to know was something nothing could suppress in her, not even sorrow. Her glasses were gone, but even so, she could see just fine. The pulse was a bit more rapid, perhaps that accounted for the sudden sensation of being energized came from. Her own heart rate was close to this, but still, not this speed. There were different hormones to deal with, different emotional reactions, physical responses.->

Her mind was racing again, but this time with nothing but good, productive thoughts. She was so excited and intrigued, in fact, that she didn't notice the way her tail was reacting accordingly. The clothing was forgotten too, or at least the question; another good sign.

"I will see what I can't find for you. Unless you'd like to go there for yourself." Her smile only widened, seeing the change in her patient.

Aha, and there it was. The catch. As her lips pursed, so too did her nose twitch to the side. Despite her best efforts, however, Elle found herself cracking a smile. A smile, she noted, that felt a great deal different. Touching her tongue to her teeth, she quickly found out why, then left it alone lest she start tasting blood. "I suppose I'll have to, my interrogation might wear you down to the bone where as a volume doesn't have too great a voice to protest." Her voice was different too, she noticed; it was the vocal cords, she could feel them. It made her sound a bit more fluid, velvety even; she bet she could purr, or would, given the circumstance. It'd happened before several times when she was another type of lesser beast, so the musing didn't seem too childish... That didn't mean she was going to ask though, goodness no.

"Very well. I believe you will find the Enclave in the southwestern part of the City proper, and the Institute shouldn't be hard to locate from there. Would you like for me to arrange transportation? Or perhaps, some necessary funds?" Emotions swirled in her eyes, from elation to concern, witnessing all the changes wrought with this new form. As she could never know transformation, the process intrigued her.

"Transportation? How far are we? I have no problems traveling anywhere." Though the air about her was still mildly abuzz due to the high her newly learned form has wrought, Elle was still behaving very clinically. That air of 'no nonsense' remained, it seemed, no matter her form. Then again, the shifter hadn't tried to transform since she'd been in the clinic's walls, given how strict the orders of 'resting' were. Shifting required energy, energy required a body that could afford to give it up; Elle had not been that for quite some time. It seemed now, she was; a pity Kalinda hadn't known her on the outside, or for some time; she'd know that Elle's comfort in a different skin was always much greater than in her own. It was simply how she was. There were many wounds there, and scars, non of which belonged to the recent events she'd suffered.

"...As for funds, I do have a bank account within the city, and I don't really spend much of anything, so that won't be a problem either, though I greatly appreciate it. Though I do have to ask you what I owe your establishment here for such an extended series of treatments."

"You don't. As my patient, it's solely within my aegis to determine my fee, and as such, you've already paid. A swift recovery and a smile is reward enough for me."

There went her lips and her nose again, twitching. Another personal tick. Though as a Kirn, such a tick was a bit more pronounced; her face had a bit more expressive build and muscle to it. "Miss..." Clearing her throat, she shook her head. "Kalinda. I'm not going to bother asking how you keep such a place lit up without charging patients for their treatment, but I will say that you and the people who keep up such a place are good people. People that I wish I'd met a long, long time ago." Her smile was wane, almost sad, but she continued. "No funds, no transportation... Just give me an address and perhaps make a small phone call to tell them they've not only an able mind and body interested in governing their collection of texts and helping their students, but a seasoned one. There's not a quote I cannot cite, nor a tome I couldn't locate and decipher. Though a proper education is something I sorely lack, the written word is truly my area of expertise." And my peace.

"We only charge what's worthy, at least that is my philosophy. But of course, I'll call." Plucking a pencil from the pocket of her vest, she jotted down an address and directions to the Enclave. "Do be a dear, and let me know how you're faring once you get settled in." Idly, she found herself tapping the eraser to her lips. "However, whom should I say is applying?"

"Ah... Well." That would take her a moment. And a moment it took, but not a moment longer. She was quick, her inner library was extensive, and her love of little puzzles often fit well with her love with mythology. "Leda... Leda Li'mikkin? Does that fit closely enough to a Kirn name?" She was curious again, though even more so due to the fact that her tongue had almost no trouble curling those several successive 'L' sounds.

"Thus far, the only Kirn known to me on a regular basis is Misty. Among humans, they tend to take easier to pronounce nicknames. I believe it has something to do with an unconscious need to blend into the group as a whole. You shouldn't have any problems."

"I suppose Leda or Li'mi will work easily for people then, hm?" Chuckling quietly, Elle, Leda, smiled. There was a moment where the unusual urge to reach out and touch the woman overcame here, a hug perhaps, but instead of giving into that momentary impulse, she instead reached out to shake her hand. "I can't thank you enough, Kalinda, I really can't. I would have died in that rubble pile... No one knew I was there." A thought she'd had many, many times more than she'd like to count, but there it was. True as truth could be.

Gently, Kali accepted the hand. "I'm glad my panther had enough nose to locate you. It does me good to see you standing whole and healthy once again. And please, keep the samples. Just as a precaution." As both women shook the other's hand, Elle shook her head as well, her smile sort of bouncing between remaining intact and wilting. Obviously the blood had put her off. "I don't really need them, though I appreciate the concern. Once I've touched something my body knows the pattern forever, the pieces I use to take on a form aren't jumping pads or batteries, thankfully, otherwise I'd be in loads of trouble several times over by now."

"Wonderful. I'll admit to a certain curiosity concerning the subject. If you've no further need, I can return them to records." As the two uttered their final goodbyes and smiled their final smiles, Elle checked at the heels of her shoes, gave one last look about the room, and strolled out quite comfortably from her room, down the hallway, and out onto the street. There was an address in her hand, a plan in her head, and a destination to reach.

The first step was breathing.

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'Chocolate... Why?'

Tears streamed down her face almost as rapidly as thoughts tore through her brain, and although those tears burned, and the thoughts ripped up every little bit of happiness in their path, somehow, both felt equally as painful. Estelle had been over the moon since she'd taken up her post as Leda Li'mikkin at the KIA. It'd been a week now, a complete week without incident. Then this.

'Why didn't I listen to them? What was wrong with me? How could I not know?...'

She'd heard by friendly word of mouth that the Island was holding a magic duel, and of course, the resident Blue Mages had planned on being in attendance. That is, a few of the students and their 'blue' mentor, Khoom. Given the specifics of the topic, it was not one of Elle's specialties, to say the least. But she'd never been one concerned so much with content when it came to areas of study beyond her preferred, so like any subject she encountered yet lacked the zeal to study it on her own, the librarian had instead decided to take the opportunity to learn by first person accounting. The plans had been set, and the week had gone by in a variable whirlwind of time. In between her exploring and tinkering with the technology that kept her and her precious sources of knowledge apart, Elle, Leda, had all but thrown herself into the task when her time wasn't spent guiding or aiding the various traffic of campus dwellers that revolved through her door. During that whirlwind week, there had only been one time she'd left the campus, and that was for an annual tradition she'd not miss for anything, not even severe illness... And that was the day-after sales of Valentine's Day chocolates.

'Research, I didn't do the research. What's wrong with me?'

Earlier in the day, as she slipped from the furless, wheat blonde scarecrow figure of her natural form to the taller, sleeker, fine-haired Kirn body she'd come to claim, Elle became Leda once more, and stopped off to take what was left of her extended lunch break in a local cafe. Happening upon a student of the institute whilst eating, Leda of course offered Kassy a bit of the exquisite chocolate she'd procured. Kassy, not being opposed to the dark, cocoa rich, hazelnut bark Leda was offering, set off little to no bells, save perhaps when she flew off to the bathroom and came back looking a great deal disheveled. Leda had brushed the incident off as an allergy of sorts, and given Kassy's mussed, but content state, the KIA's library guardian assumed what any devout chocolate lover would assume; the pain was worth the pleasure. Oh how dispicably right she'd been, just in the horrifyingly wrong context... Or perhaps it was the right? Elle couldn't quite decide anymore. All she knew was that, curled as she was, eyes too swollen to even distinguish between the frump of her curls and the pillow beneath them. She hurt beyond hurt, and mourned her poor lack of judgement. Having such a brave, new task of technology before her was no excuse. She'd taken on a whole new species and hadn't researched their biology. There'd been a major err in her judgement, and now every inch of her from the inside out had paid the price. The humiliation.

'They were laughing at me, laughing like it was something fun. It's supposed to be, I know... but I couldn't. I can't.'

Whether they had truly been laughing or no; that was how Elle saw it. The Kirn at the island had watched her fumble for her chocolate all night. She'd even been given a cheaper substitute when time and time again she'd failed to locate the pieces she'd brought with her. Then, oh then when she'd taken a bite and every ounce of hormone souped blood in her Kirn body rushed to the front of her. Then it'd all become painfully, stupendously clear in one shaky breath. Khoom had been smiling, just as Yina had been. Both of them watched her reactions go from plain shock to painful realization, then, oh then. Whatever pretty rank of arousal perfumed her immediate air was lost in a wet, heavy wash of fear. That debilitating wave of shame and fear. Fear born out of ignorance, fear born out of unfortunate circumstance and violent memories.

'It still hurts...'

Without thinking, Leda had returned to the KIA's compound with both Yina and Khoom, and while she'd entered the building leaning solely on Yina's smaller form, it had been Khoom who'd taken up the extremely delicate and gentlemanly task of ushering her with the utmost of care into her quarters and shutting the door quite firmly behind him. It took her a moment, but after it, she'd all but melted right back down into her truer, frailer body. And frail as it was, it didn't suffer from chocolate as though it were a violent aphrodisiac. Here, in that body, she could slowly wind herself down from the hysterics she'd given into the moment she was alone and locked up tightly in her room. That's when the tears had started, and that's when the low, keening sobs had broken the intense silence she'd taken on.

'How could they... How could I? How could he?'

Pain. Ignominy. Blame. Anguish. These are not often words one tacks on immediately beside something so normal and healthy as arousal, even when triggered in an unwanted event, and certainly not so violently. Even Elle could admit that. The logic in her brain told her so, basic biology told her so; nature did not lie. Yet neither did her own, and her own nature was beyond repugnant, beyond repair and reform. If such adult notions were the norm, then so was the queerness of her body, and all the more reason for her to be such a self loathing creature; so broken and despairing she couldn't even do what everyone expected her to do in the sanctity of her room; alleviate the pressure. Enjoy the folly and turn it into pleasure. But no, she couldn't. Phantom bruises and memory bound shades of abusive blows rained down from her tormented mind all over again. So she did what she did whenever the urge came upon her.

'It still hurts...'

She cried.

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OOC Note: For those not familiar with Elle, Leda's past, please refer to Sundry Faces, particularly the 02 Apr 2010 installment, to better and fully understand why something so simple as being 'horny' is so brutally painful for her mentally and(by proxy) physically. She is a very sad, very sick creature who's notions of love, sex, and desire have been brutally cleaved beyond recognition. Anyone who's familiar with developmental psych, or has been unfortunate enough to be a victim of, or a friend of, someone who's experienced this type of abuse, can unfortunately (to a point), understand. While I myself have never experienced or have known someone who's experienced it, I am familiar with human psychology to a great enough degree that I've tried to tackle such a disturbingly tough subject.

On a final note, please bear with me as I help flesh Elle/Leda out, help her grow, and help her heal. Special thanks to Khoom and Kassy and Yina's players and the rest of the folks that dueling night I interacted with to make this post possible! :)

Nighttime. Khoom considered it one of the most relaxing portions of the day. Easiest on the eyes, for one. For two, all the students weren't clamoring for his attention. And taking a portion of that nighttime to enjoy a calming cup of tea, lounging on the sumptuous cushions in his darkened, silk-draped room? He's always one to condone enjoying the little pleasures in life.

Nighttime. Leda also considered nighttime one of her favorite times, not only because she could divest of her furry trappings and pick up something with a glue and thread bound spine, but because she could finally enjoy some of that chocolate bark she'd been so leery of eating ever since the unfortunate events at the last dueling venue. But unfortunately, tonight, all that would have to be postponed(not as though there was much chocolate left, mind you, not at all), due to some unpleasantness that'd occurred during the day while she'd slipped away for an afternoon bite. Discontent far outweighed any sort of shame in this 'unpleasant' situation. Then again, discontent was a pale word to describe Leda's mood. It was more around the realm of irked and ire-touched, though not quite vehement. Purposeful steps drew her down the long winds of hallways until she reached Khoom's quarters, rapping her knuckles on his door without a breath of hesitation.

The rapping on the door drew his attention with a smile. It wasn't a knock he recognized, and that usually meant one of the students had overcome their trepidation and sought out some more ... personal teaching. And so, there's a hint of amusement in his voice as he answered. "It's unlocked. Please, come in."

Again, like her transition between walking and knocking, Leda's motions between knocking and her knock's commanding reply was without hesitance. She was a kirn on a mission, so much, in fact, that that long, striped tail was giving uneasy curls back and forth behind her without even noticing. "Ev?nylyw, I'm very sorry to disturb your personal hours, but before I can indulge in my own I really must speak with you." He had to know that tone, and that usage of his name, if he hadn't immediately noticed all the little signs and flashes of her... displeasure.

And note, he did. The raising of an eyebrow his only reaction for a brief moment, before he took a calming sip of tea, shifting his seat to something more ... appropriate for a discussion with a peer of a serious nature. "But of course. Please, be seated. Would you care for a cup of tea?" She debated what caffeine would do to her already tested nerves, but considering her current body, Leda's debate ended quicker than usual.

"If you'd please. I don't mean to stay long, but your moving while I talk would greatly relax me." An odd quirk to be sure, yes, but she kept many. Her tail continued it's quick, unhappy curly q's off the side of her chair, betraying her otherwise smooth brow.

"But of course." He rose, moving to his refreshment area with a refined, easy grace. Rummaging for a moment or two, he returned with a full, steaming teapot, cream, and sugar. While his tastes ran more toward a hint of sweetness, it just wouldn't do to be rude and not offer the other possible additives. As well, a few of the cookies and biscuits he found most preferred with their tea. "So, what brings you to my abode? Nothing too serious, I hope."

Though she'd taken him up on his offer, it took her a moment before she unfolded her hands and managed a steady enough course to fix herself a cup. Apparently she liked moving when she talked too. "Some of your students seem to have decided to branch out and try other areas as places for your particular branch of study... and unfortunately. Practice." She'd have been more livid no doubt if the place were filled with actual books. The thought gave her a horrible shudder as to what the possible mess could have been.

"Oh? Hmmm. Well, to be fair, that is to be expected. Not every situation they'll find themselves in will involve a classroom. But, let me wager a guess, just going by what I'm seeing so far. A couple of the girls were using the library for a something a little more in-depth than mere homework, yes?" There's a twinkling in his eye, a mark of his amusement. However, there was no such twinkle of amusement in Leda's eyes, but something far opposite; a flash of something he'd never seen, in fact. Anger. It manifested in a neat set of lines on her striped face and a flicker of vivid, pumpkin orange in place of the serene gray that often dominated her irises.

"Khoom, that is not at all acceptable, how would you take it if the science students came into your student's allotted study and communal space and set up bunsen burners and all sorts of gadgetry? Imagine the mess!" The scandal in her voice, while comical, was clearly real; her tail lashed once. Khoom couldn't help it, his facade cracked into the hint of a smile.

"While I understand the comparison you're attempting to make, contemplate that example for a moment." While she stewed, he took another sip of his tea. "Of course, I'll have a discussion with the students. The library is off-limits. However, you do realize, such a declaration will only make the room a more desirable target for their exploits?"

"What?" His thoughts went right beyond her, because Leda simply couldn't contemplate the hilarity in the situation. The library was such a small room, and sure, there were not endless rows of books easily mussed and messed beyond repair, but it was sanctuary. Her sanctuary. Her eyes flashed again; a violent display between that normal Kirn gray, the orange, and now an electric blue. She was disturbed still, if anything, more so since she'd walked into the room. "There are rooms for that, private quarters, for Well's sake, there are broom closets for such intensive studies." Flicker, swat went her tail again as she all but ignored the tea she's poured. Realizing this, she went to retrieve her cup with that angry tail of hers, but growled softly underbreath as she realized how unruly it'd been this entire time. She even gave it a quick grip and shake to still it, as if it were some troublesome pet.

Chuckling softly, he set his cup aside, and leaned forward. "Leda ... a great deal of their inquisitiveness is embroiled in the pursuit of that which should not be done. And, for some, a library is a realm of delicious fantasy, of the most tantalizing sort." He grew quiet for a moment, then nodded. "However, you are correct. I will explain to them that such things are best accorded outside of your domain." Steepling his fingers, he continued, pointedly not taking note of the treatment of her unruly tail. "But, such an act is likely to ostracize you further from the other Kirn, as most are quite lenient about such activities. I do understand that such things aren't quite ... comfortable for you. Hmmmm." He trailed off, lost in thought. "What do you suggest?"

"I..." Though he still had that chuckle in his tone, the easy, no nonsense reply he'd given her helped curb the steam she'd been steam she'd been letting filter and sputter out from beneath her lid, so to speak. Then again, his mention of delicious, fantasy, and tantalizing all in one sentence had her stomach twitching uncomfortably. Leda wasn't naive, not completely, but the idea had never settled well with her. The idea of such disrespect and desecration not only made her heart ache, but brushed an incident from a year or so past that stilled her tail all on it's own.

"I don't know." She answered honestly, feeling a little deflated. This was nowhere near her realm of expertise, and certainly nowhere near her personal levels of comfort. Rewinding and replying the entire end of the day until now in her brain, she realized perhaps she'd been a bit... hasty.

Leaning back in his seat, he folded his hands across his chest, casually resting one leg atop his knee. "Very well ... just what were these students up to, that touched off the flare of your temper so?" One might have thought the Kirn across from him had turned to an owl in that moment for all the wideness that'd taken over her eyes. She thought her behavior would have been explanation enough, then again, given how deceptively straight forward and practical Khoom had proved himself to be time and time again, she shouldn't have been surprised he asked her so directly.

"W-well... I can't be sure really, but there was a bit of a noise. I'd assumed it was the printer, and in part it was." Mechanical, like a whirr or a buzz. She thought, but couldn't quite bring herself to fully say. "I'm not familiar with the exacts of the spell work." She added quickly, lips twitching as she managed to keep her neck from flushing.

"And this ... embarassed you?" More and more like a counselor, he sounded.

"Well the noise by itself wouldn't. As I said, it sounded like the printer was pumping out an excess of work. I know midterms are near their end, but some are always late and last minute, of course, with their studies..." She was babbling a bit; that tended to happen with her nerves or being overexcited with work; obviously it wasn't anywhere near excitement causing the overflow of speech. "...students I mean." Managing the prep of her cooling tea between her tail and hands, one to mind the sugar, another to pluck up the cup and give it a stir, Leda could feel her control over the flush slip. It crept from the collarbone up at a pace she could only describe as painfully slow. "It was whatever they were doing on the printer, and the flood of photocopies I had to recycle." There, it was at mid throat now, pink despite the pale fur and stripes.

"And you didn't even leave them a momento of their efforts?" Of course, he's merely joking, though he was lucky she'd swallowed her tea, otherwise the sputter would have left his face wet, or at the very least his little table and the tray set between them.

"Ev?nylyw!" Her entire face had been consumed now, from nose to cheeks and all the soft spaces between. Were her ears human, they too might have suffered. "I d-don't even know exactly w-what they were doing, but it's not anything t-to laugh at with me!" Her chest felt tight, and it wasn't her eyes flickering this time, but her hair. Not the whole mass, mind, but streaks, strands; they were curling up, though not quite flickering lighter shades yet.

"Easy, easy. It's only a jest, I promise. I meant no disrespect. But tell me truly. Can't you see just a little bit of humor in this? After all, they might've been just as embarassed by the whole ordeal as you are." Not likely, but it's possible.

"I can handle day to day adult conversation, the lingering scents that perfume around you and your active students, I can tolerate much, despite... Despite my discomfort." The last bit she stumbled with, having almost said deficiency instead, which inwardly mortified her. Looking down, she saw the discoloring in her tight knuckles and intentionally uncurled them, lying her hands flat against her knees as she exhaled. "And no... I've never seen the humor. Even before the attack in the public library." Once they were out there, those words, she couldn't take them back. The horror blossomed across her expression almost instantly; she hadn't meant to tell him that. Not at all.

"I see." His lips tightened, just a fraction, beneath his fur. "Come morning, I will tell my students that the library is not a place of dalliance, on pain of expulsion from my class, and removal of their repetoire of spells." No joking in his eyes, not this time. He's being entirely serious. Leda heard that tone, recognized it, and it sent her sputtering again. "O-oh! Oh no... No. I-it wasn't me!" As her tail relinquishing it's steady hold of the tea cup and half spilling it between the table and the floor in her hurry to let the appendage lash and do what it pleased.

"-Shit." No accounting for whom she'd heard that surprising bit of native Kirn tongue from, but she'd understood it and applied it correctly none the less. Perhaps they were all rubbing off on her a bit, bumps along the road aside. She was moving for something, anything, all but shoving her chair back to clean up the mess. Remarkably, the spill almost seemed to clean itself, the liquid whisking away as if by magic, but she was on the floor, feeling doubly troublesome. Useless was right around the corner. The sudden urge to cry hit her so fiercely Leda couldn't quite stop the salt building up beneath her lids, but she managed to blink them back.

"... I can't apologize enough." It wasn't the tea she was speaking of either, her eyes looked downright haunted. "I'd only stepped out for a bite to eat... then I came back and I found her on the table in the back room where we take out the rarer, older tomes. She was so tired, so frail, so shocked. I didn't even take time to bother, I just held her, sweat and skin and all."

Quick like a wink, he's right there beside her. Not touching ... no, not yet. She's not ready for that, he can tell. "Found ... who?"

"One of the others who worked with Charles and I... He was out of the building for most of the day, and whenever that happened he'd arrange for another to be there with me. He so hates to leave any of us alone, proficient or no." Leda was babbling again, smiling weakly at the one bit of fondness in the memory that was pouring through her. "I can't even remember her name now, she left that very same week, though don't blame her. She didn't blame us. Who would expect such a creature to come in and do what he did for something we would have alloted freely if the paperwork were signed properly? There was no need for what happened, it was pure cruelty." She didn't even flinch from her nearness, her tail was dead still.

"Would you like to tell me what happened?" Sitting there, lotus-style, he very nearly appeared as a wise old monk. Without the old, and if monks had fur, that is.

Leda didn't want to tell him, but she did.

It was just like how she didn't want her body to break down and ripple all those distorted, unnatural colors, but it did.

The tears didn't come, because once she blinked them back, they just lodged themselves there and refused to come out again. Leda told him of the incubus, of the institute when their founders first arrived, the tome abduction, the attack, the unnerving means of stalking... the eventual confrontation. It just flowed, all of it, and she was hardly the creature she'd been before when she started it; the urge to revert had hit her hard, and she was stuck somewhere in a comfortable between realm with features from both human and Kirn mixing in the oddest blend of chaotic, biological harmony one could probably ever claim to see. "... I'm sorry." Needless apologizing seemed to be another habit of hers. Khoom remained silent for a very long series of moments, and while silence was something she often enjoyed, but now it was a weight she couldn't help but shove at and try to fill.

"T-truly... I'm sorry. I shouldn't get so ridiculous over people doing things... things that are considered normal. It was just a shock to walk in on." When she looked up, she's see something... rather rare on his face. Anger. Shock. Even anguish. He bowed his head, quaking with it all. "Leda. There is nothing... nothing for you to be sorry for."

Small. Weak. An attempt to reassure.There it was, that smile; the same she fed to Charles time and time again when he expressed sweeter, gentler concerns about her health or her getting regular hours of sleep. Flushed, tired, red eyed without a single tear trail. She'd been here so often it was hard to be embarrassed anymore, she realized. "I've just not had much luck throughout my life it seems." A poor supplement, yes, but it was all she had.

"Do ... do you know why it is, that I do not enjoy the thought of having to teach my students about the conjuration of otherworldly creatures?" His head bowed further, and he exhaled slowly before he could continue "Because of that very thing. Such beasts usually are not there of their free will, but the ones that are... they can escape. And become ... that."

Leda nodded head slowly as she picked along a bit of thread that'd chosen to stick out from the flawless seam of her skirt as she spoke. "I don't know where he came from... but. I-I can understand that, yes." Inhale, exhale; it was a simple motion, one she applied on a daily basis. "... but." Lots of but's. "That goes without saying for any branch of magic, doesn't it?" She supplied softly.

"It does. And it goes against everything I hold dear." He stood, and turned, watching the tray drift away. Not exactly the same, but the unseen servant spell did hold a certain charm. "I will tell the students in the morning, Leda. And ... I apologize, for the disturbance." It's not that he's dismissing her, but her pain is quite palpable, to him. And she's yet to ask for his assistance in the matter. Watching the tray float away with a moment's intense, distracted interest, her lips moved of their own accord. "Perhaps... warn them by reminding them of the space available for practical application practice?" Trying to speak was a chore she could easily overcome, especially when it was on, well, business. Latch on, climb up; it was a skill she'd been developing and perfecting for quite some time. "Threaten them with mark deductions?" Leda ventured gently as he glanced back over his shoulder.

"Your sanctuary should be sacrosanct. Such little steps wouldn't ensure that." He concluded quietly.

"Perhaps that why I'm not an instructor... I've never been one for doling out proper punishments." She tried for another one of those half smiles, and she succeeded, but only for a moment. She'd caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of his eyes and paled. A touch more focus and she was fine again; fully Kirn, but the focus left her with that residual body heat.

"No, Leda. You could be an instructor, if you saw fit to be. But I won't pressure you into it." He turned then, and smiled wearily. At times like these, keeping his distance wore on him. She might even see it in his eyes, the wish to comfort her. Worn from the day, and more so from the conversation Leda had let her eyes close to the barest of slivers. She hadn't missed what she'd seen there, though. It was an odd thing to see something, recognize it, but not truly know it. There were moments of course when she could feel that empathy, truly feel it, but it did not work in reverse, not really. Not often. She never really craved to receive the things the often craved to give. A curse perhaps, but one she grew more tired of with every passing year.

"You put too much stock in me, Ev?nylyw." She murmured quietly, her eyes focusing in from the distance to the here and now, back on Khoom. "I do try though... I try." She added broadly. "I just wish it came as easily as other things do."

"Well, let me make this up to you. In a way that will indeed discourage the students from practicing in the library, without making them interested." Something in his honesty troubled her, if only for a moment. Quirking a brow, she felt her lips twitch. "Is it any form of advisory and discouragement that I'd care to know about?"

"Actually, it is. I can simply make it so that no such magic will function within the bounds of the library. Just blue magic, mind you. Can't have the computer going haywire, now can we?" She flashed a genuine smile at his reply, not just for his solution, but for the potential calamity that could have happened were it not an option properly thought through.

"Indeed. I'll develop a reputation of destroying libraries if anything happened to this one." Laughing softly, she finally extricated herself from the floor. Once standing, however, she seemed unsure of what she wanted to do; not something that happened too often, mind.

As he stood, he blinked. But, in the interest of keeping this tenuous peace, he let the subject slip away, instead offering his arm, well sheathed in insulating fur. "Shall we, then?"

Realizing she'd paused too long, Leda started a bit at his offer. "W-what?" For one fleeting moment, she took implication where there was none to be taken. And she'd just gotten rid of that blush too. Clearing her throat, determined to squash the remainder of that lingering stutter, she tentatively took his arm, having taken to heart his advice about trying to be more... well. Kirn. Which in fact she often substituted in her head for the word 'sociable'. "Where are we going?"

"To the Library, to render it safe from ... enthusiastic students."

"Oh, of course." Of course. That fleeting moment was merely that, and ended there, though not without another wormy curl of her tail. This one, however, wasn't as violent as the evening's previous ones. It was almost content.

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http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs13/i/2007/091/5/0/Tea_for_two_by_skshoup.jpg

OOC Note: For those not familiar with Elle, Leda's past, please refer to The Acquisition of the Athalos Ledger, to better understand the event brought up during the conversation above. A big thanks to both Khoom's player for this last little bit done with Leda and Aukai's player for the bits I could add to his devious fun in the past. :)