((Ooc note: This is a private matter, only Sarah knows what she's said on these entries unless she says she has company in the same room. Thank you.))
Entry One
::Sighs heard::
Misty suggested I talk to this thing instead of writing shit down. Apparently it will last longer than paper.
::A few muffled shifts of papers::
I really don?t know where to start, yesterday was a mess of a day. All it?s done is made me doubt myself through and through. ::Sighs:: It just feels like right now nothing?s going right.
The news from my home and all that?s happened in regards to my family. Khoom says that despite learning what I have that it doesn?t change who I am. I?m just trying to understand why my father would have reason to kidnap me, it?s not like he and my mother weren?t able to have children. Why am I even calling them my parents..?
::A scoff and a muffle shuffle of papers and a book falling off of a surface::
On top of that, I?m reminded of why I don?t go out so often. I?m more used to people when I avoid them. It?s easier not to be treated like I?ve done something wrong? Hell, even keeps me from getting hurt. ::Sighs:: Something always seems to happen when I let people in. I mean, look at Rix.. That was a disaster in the waiting.
At least I can count on Khoom. He always seems to know when something?s bothering me. Not that I?ve been much of an emotional wreck, hell, everything?s been fine to this point. And then these last two days come around. Making up for lost time becomes a pain and? you find out you were kidnapped as a child. I don?t even know how old I am. How stupid is that?
It just seems like everything? ::Her voice cracking:: Is out to drive me insane. I can?t even think straight. I try being civil in this world and I feel like no matter how much I try? ::Fingers drum on the desk, echoing softly:: Guess everyone was right, you have to be a man of steel in order to even fit in, in Rhy?din.
::Scoffs:: Can?t even trust a man?s word any more. What kind of man makes a promise and then? Nothing? I don?t even know what happened. I was just waiting to go on a walk with him and then I?m being chided at for using French.
He tried to take the blame for it, but I couldn?t let him do that. It?s not fair when I?m the one who started it? ::More drums from the fingers.:: I feel like an idiot.
::Mumbles and then yawns.:: Can?t even make friends right.
::Sighs:: How am I going to be good at Blue Magic when I can?t even communicate properly with anyone? Blue Magic you have to flirt and get to know an individual, even try to touch base with them? And I?m stuck still trying to break an Ice Block.
I?m pathetic? ::A stifled yawn comes and goes.:: I can?t even find that one spell? ::Another yawn.:: I know I?m close to finishing the test, I?ve taken it four times? I just can?t get that spe--- ::Snores take over the recording. Smooth shallow breathing as well. For hours that?s what?s heard before there?s knocking.::
::The sound of shuffling takes over and then a mumble.:: Great.. ::A few curses follow before, click::
Entry One
::Sighs heard::
Misty suggested I talk to this thing instead of writing shit down. Apparently it will last longer than paper.
::A few muffled shifts of papers::
I really don?t know where to start, yesterday was a mess of a day. All it?s done is made me doubt myself through and through. ::Sighs:: It just feels like right now nothing?s going right.
The news from my home and all that?s happened in regards to my family. Khoom says that despite learning what I have that it doesn?t change who I am. I?m just trying to understand why my father would have reason to kidnap me, it?s not like he and my mother weren?t able to have children. Why am I even calling them my parents..?
::A scoff and a muffle shuffle of papers and a book falling off of a surface::
On top of that, I?m reminded of why I don?t go out so often. I?m more used to people when I avoid them. It?s easier not to be treated like I?ve done something wrong? Hell, even keeps me from getting hurt. ::Sighs:: Something always seems to happen when I let people in. I mean, look at Rix.. That was a disaster in the waiting.
At least I can count on Khoom. He always seems to know when something?s bothering me. Not that I?ve been much of an emotional wreck, hell, everything?s been fine to this point. And then these last two days come around. Making up for lost time becomes a pain and? you find out you were kidnapped as a child. I don?t even know how old I am. How stupid is that?
It just seems like everything? ::Her voice cracking:: Is out to drive me insane. I can?t even think straight. I try being civil in this world and I feel like no matter how much I try? ::Fingers drum on the desk, echoing softly:: Guess everyone was right, you have to be a man of steel in order to even fit in, in Rhy?din.
::Scoffs:: Can?t even trust a man?s word any more. What kind of man makes a promise and then? Nothing? I don?t even know what happened. I was just waiting to go on a walk with him and then I?m being chided at for using French.
He tried to take the blame for it, but I couldn?t let him do that. It?s not fair when I?m the one who started it? ::More drums from the fingers.:: I feel like an idiot.
::Mumbles and then yawns.:: Can?t even make friends right.
::Sighs:: How am I going to be good at Blue Magic when I can?t even communicate properly with anyone? Blue Magic you have to flirt and get to know an individual, even try to touch base with them? And I?m stuck still trying to break an Ice Block.
I?m pathetic? ::A stifled yawn comes and goes.:: I can?t even find that one spell? ::Another yawn.:: I know I?m close to finishing the test, I?ve taken it four times? I just can?t get that spe--- ::Snores take over the recording. Smooth shallow breathing as well. For hours that?s what?s heard before there?s knocking.::
::The sound of shuffling takes over and then a mumble.:: Great.. ::A few curses follow before, click::