"The Queen demands the presence of her fool!"
The Queen's fat cheeks broke into a wide grin and she clapped her pudgy hands together with delight at her servant's proclamation. Her courtiers turned on their heels applauding the queen's choice of after dinner entertainment. The ornately carved doors at the back of the room were thrown open by unseen hands. The court bugler at the Queen's right lifted his instrument and blew the announcement. Yet no one appeared.
The Queen's wide grin quickly turned to a perturbed frown. "Where is my fool?" she demanded from her throne.
The same unseen hands shoved a pink-haired man into the doorway unwillingly. With great reluctance he stepped forward. With each step, the bells on his yellow shoes jingled as did the one hanging from his floppy yellow hat. He tugged on the white livery emblazoned with the queen's crest to cover as far down as possible. The tight white hose beneath left little to the imagination. All eyes were upon him. All waited for the witty fool to entertain the court. Yet, all the pink-haired man could consider was just how badly his yellow hat clashed with his pink hair.
It had been a long summer indeed for the Gossip GangSTAR.
"How now, fool? Have you lost your tongue?" The Queen grinned childishly as she patted the yellow toy poodle in her lap.
He heaved a heavy sigh and swept the hat off his head, bowing low to his mistress. Just over her shoulder her court magician, the man whose magic had drawn Marc from his warm cup of coffee to this hellacious kingdom and forced him into servitude, snickered beneath his foul breath. After all these years, the Gossip GangSTAR had been tripped up by a single lowly wizard. What a world!
"My tongue remains intact, Your Grace. How may your fool serve you this evening?"
The Queen plucked a fat piece of meat from the table at her side and fed it to the glorified rat in her lap. "Well, you know all the gossip of the court. Tell me, fool, what do the lords and ladies gossip of these days?" Those gathered tittered at the question and whispered to one another, wondering which maiden would be outed for being in love with which squire.
The pink-haired fool rocked back on his heels thoughtfully only to be distracted by the jingling of his shoes. It was more than a mere man could stand. "Well, Your Grace, I do know one quite titillating story that the ladies of your court cannot seem to stop discussing."
"And what might that be?"
He leaned back and crossed his arms before his broad chest while looking over the crowd gathered. The crowd giggled anxiously wondering whom he would choose to embarrass. "There is a prideful young woman in this room. She is so fat that it is easier to go over her than around her. She is good looking in a way, I suppose -- away off."
The Queen shifted in her throne, looking up from the dog in her arms to the man before her. "And what of this petulant girl?"
Marc smiled a secretively smile and leaned forward slightly, cupping his hand to his mouth. His voice dropped to a stage whisper and all of the court leaned forward collectively to hear. "I am told that though she is twenty-four, she still wets the royal bed."
As gasp went up from the crowd and the Queen turned a bright shade of red. "How dare you! Take it back! Take it back right this instant!" The yellow pup gave a yelp and quickly hopped off the Queen's lap to hide behind her throne. In her rage, she did not notice it's wise exit.
Marc gave a indignant snort. "How about never? Is never good for you?"
The Queen jumped out of the chair and pointed towards the guards flanking the ornate door. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!"
A wiser man would perhaps have chosen this moment to have shut his oversized gourd. "What? Did you not get the joke, Your Grace? I would explain it but these hose have no pockets so I was unable to bring crayons."
The imperial bed-wetter stomped a bejeweled foot at the guards who had been stunned into inaction. "What are you waiting for?"
Finally one of the pair snapped into action. He stepped forward, pulling his sword free of the scabbard on his hip. "You heard her Majesty, Fool! On your knees to meet your fate!"
It was then, only then, that Marc Franco realized that he was undoubtedly in the gravest of danger. His Adam's apple bobbed noticeably as he swallowed back his fear. As the soldier approached, his mind went blank. The quick thinking Gossip GangSTAR had finally been silenced. All he could think to do was lower to his knees. The ladies buried their eyes in their hands or, if they were feeling particularly flirtatious, in the shoulder of the lord beside them. The soldier drew to a stop and settled into a firm stance. Marc tried to force his voice box to work but nothing came out but a squeak.
The soldier drew back his weapon and swung mightily. The blade cut through the air with deadly efficiency and sliced right through... air. The lack of connection and intensity of the swing drew him right around in a circle. He looked down in bewilderment at the place where the pink-haired fool once stood. Now there was nothing. There was no sign of the man who had just occupied the space. The gathered crowd -- delighted by the evening's sudden excitement -- whispered amongst themselves and the magician -- the fool's captor -- frowned angrily as he sensed another's magic afoot.
Yet, his anger was nothing compared to the Queen's. Her fleshy cheeks grew red and her fists came to rest on her hips. "SOMEONE BRING ME BACK MY FOOL!!!"
Far far away, in the safety of the Gossip GangSTAR's top secret Den of Gossip, Marc Franco breathed a sigh of relief. The interns gathered around a smoldering cauldron sitting precariously on a hot plate in the middle of the room broke into raucous applause at the sight of their employer.
Marc's lips turned into a scowl at those gathered. "What took you so long to rescue me from there? It's been months!"
The head intern stepped forward with hat in hands to apologize for his late magical extrication but Marc held him off by lifting his hand and shaking his head. He then drew his hands together, rubbing his palms and gaining a devilish grin.
"There's no time for inadequate excuses. We have a lot of work to do. Somebody bring me up to speed. What have I missed?
The Queen's fat cheeks broke into a wide grin and she clapped her pudgy hands together with delight at her servant's proclamation. Her courtiers turned on their heels applauding the queen's choice of after dinner entertainment. The ornately carved doors at the back of the room were thrown open by unseen hands. The court bugler at the Queen's right lifted his instrument and blew the announcement. Yet no one appeared.
The Queen's wide grin quickly turned to a perturbed frown. "Where is my fool?" she demanded from her throne.
The same unseen hands shoved a pink-haired man into the doorway unwillingly. With great reluctance he stepped forward. With each step, the bells on his yellow shoes jingled as did the one hanging from his floppy yellow hat. He tugged on the white livery emblazoned with the queen's crest to cover as far down as possible. The tight white hose beneath left little to the imagination. All eyes were upon him. All waited for the witty fool to entertain the court. Yet, all the pink-haired man could consider was just how badly his yellow hat clashed with his pink hair.
It had been a long summer indeed for the Gossip GangSTAR.
"How now, fool? Have you lost your tongue?" The Queen grinned childishly as she patted the yellow toy poodle in her lap.
He heaved a heavy sigh and swept the hat off his head, bowing low to his mistress. Just over her shoulder her court magician, the man whose magic had drawn Marc from his warm cup of coffee to this hellacious kingdom and forced him into servitude, snickered beneath his foul breath. After all these years, the Gossip GangSTAR had been tripped up by a single lowly wizard. What a world!
"My tongue remains intact, Your Grace. How may your fool serve you this evening?"
The Queen plucked a fat piece of meat from the table at her side and fed it to the glorified rat in her lap. "Well, you know all the gossip of the court. Tell me, fool, what do the lords and ladies gossip of these days?" Those gathered tittered at the question and whispered to one another, wondering which maiden would be outed for being in love with which squire.
The pink-haired fool rocked back on his heels thoughtfully only to be distracted by the jingling of his shoes. It was more than a mere man could stand. "Well, Your Grace, I do know one quite titillating story that the ladies of your court cannot seem to stop discussing."
"And what might that be?"
He leaned back and crossed his arms before his broad chest while looking over the crowd gathered. The crowd giggled anxiously wondering whom he would choose to embarrass. "There is a prideful young woman in this room. She is so fat that it is easier to go over her than around her. She is good looking in a way, I suppose -- away off."
The Queen shifted in her throne, looking up from the dog in her arms to the man before her. "And what of this petulant girl?"
Marc smiled a secretively smile and leaned forward slightly, cupping his hand to his mouth. His voice dropped to a stage whisper and all of the court leaned forward collectively to hear. "I am told that though she is twenty-four, she still wets the royal bed."
As gasp went up from the crowd and the Queen turned a bright shade of red. "How dare you! Take it back! Take it back right this instant!" The yellow pup gave a yelp and quickly hopped off the Queen's lap to hide behind her throne. In her rage, she did not notice it's wise exit.
Marc gave a indignant snort. "How about never? Is never good for you?"
The Queen jumped out of the chair and pointed towards the guards flanking the ornate door. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!"
A wiser man would perhaps have chosen this moment to have shut his oversized gourd. "What? Did you not get the joke, Your Grace? I would explain it but these hose have no pockets so I was unable to bring crayons."
The imperial bed-wetter stomped a bejeweled foot at the guards who had been stunned into inaction. "What are you waiting for?"
Finally one of the pair snapped into action. He stepped forward, pulling his sword free of the scabbard on his hip. "You heard her Majesty, Fool! On your knees to meet your fate!"
It was then, only then, that Marc Franco realized that he was undoubtedly in the gravest of danger. His Adam's apple bobbed noticeably as he swallowed back his fear. As the soldier approached, his mind went blank. The quick thinking Gossip GangSTAR had finally been silenced. All he could think to do was lower to his knees. The ladies buried their eyes in their hands or, if they were feeling particularly flirtatious, in the shoulder of the lord beside them. The soldier drew to a stop and settled into a firm stance. Marc tried to force his voice box to work but nothing came out but a squeak.
The soldier drew back his weapon and swung mightily. The blade cut through the air with deadly efficiency and sliced right through... air. The lack of connection and intensity of the swing drew him right around in a circle. He looked down in bewilderment at the place where the pink-haired fool once stood. Now there was nothing. There was no sign of the man who had just occupied the space. The gathered crowd -- delighted by the evening's sudden excitement -- whispered amongst themselves and the magician -- the fool's captor -- frowned angrily as he sensed another's magic afoot.
Yet, his anger was nothing compared to the Queen's. Her fleshy cheeks grew red and her fists came to rest on her hips. "SOMEONE BRING ME BACK MY FOOL!!!"
Far far away, in the safety of the Gossip GangSTAR's top secret Den of Gossip, Marc Franco breathed a sigh of relief. The interns gathered around a smoldering cauldron sitting precariously on a hot plate in the middle of the room broke into raucous applause at the sight of their employer.
Marc's lips turned into a scowl at those gathered. "What took you so long to rescue me from there? It's been months!"
The head intern stepped forward with hat in hands to apologize for his late magical extrication but Marc held him off by lifting his hand and shaking his head. He then drew his hands together, rubbing his palms and gaining a devilish grin.
"There's no time for inadequate excuses. We have a lot of work to do. Somebody bring me up to speed. What have I missed?