She laid on the couch in the living room, her eyes sparkling with the light from the fireplace.
Her beauty can cause me to lose my breath.
To know she will not allow me to touch her, kiss her, hold her, it hurts me to no end.
She says she loves me, but we can not be.
"Why?" I ask her. She explains to me once again. A married woman, he would kill us both.
He does not scare me, but I see in your eyes how he does you, oh Jaime, I would protect you. But that just is not enough.
Then why are you here Jaime, are you here to show me what I can not have?
Does it bring you joy to watch me suffer over you?

I reach out to touch her lips, she turns her head from me.

Jaime, go back to him.

Let me suffer in peace.

I took a walk.
If she planned on showing up tonight she would be out of luck.
She drives me mad, one moment she wants to run away with me, the next she wants to stay with him.
I can not sit around and wait forever..
Is it possible to love someone so much that you need to move on away from them when they show you nothing in return?
She says it, yes of course she says it, but her words are hollow.
She gives her love to her husband, and when she needs me I am always here.
But of course she reminds me every day that it is not the same love, for him that it is for me.
Hollow words.
Can I let you go?

Only one way to find out.

I was there during the fight. Gage and Dirk.
And it all seemed to be over a girl.
The funny thing is now Gage stays away from her, he is hard to understand at times.
Dirk and him seem to be alright now, they have their little fights and then it is over by the next day. The tension in the house is finally gone. A relief.


Other then that nothing much.
Cole came down to see what I was up to the other day.
It seems the boy has fallen for a girl and wanted advice on how to go about it. He has not even talked to her and he has a crush. I told him to talk to Russ, I mean really what advice can I give him other then to make sure you do not fall for a married woman.
Yes, what can I say.

And Jaime, as far as I can tell she is gone. Not a letter, phone call, nothing.
I miss her something terrible.

We went on a trip. All the way back to Earth. Miami, what a place. A bit too flashy for my taste.
We all had a good time though, those that did not have family went. Well I can not say we do not have family, the Frat is a family.
But yes it was a nice time. A few of them caused some havoc but that is how some of the guys are. Most of the time we sat around the bonfire and told scary stories. The pool party before we left was really fun, must of been close to 50 people around for that one. Not sure who they all were but the more the merrier.
I was also introduced to a nice fellow, named Xander Tarrant. A friend of Gage's and now he has come back with us as the official Frat Assistant.
I'm not entirely sure what that means. I just know I would not want that job, ever.

So pretty much everything is normal once again in the house. Now with Christmas coming, everyone is scrambling to buy gifts, hide them, and talk with family about going home for the holidays.
I love this time of year, nothing like it.

Back in Miami.
The brothers are having a great time, though we had our usual fight with Dirk and Gage. I have a feeling I know what is going on, and of course Cole is involved as well. They think they can hide it so well, the sneaking around.
I went to see Gage while Dirk and Cole were gone, and he told me some of what has been happening.
And of course I will not tell anyone else, I made a promise.
All I want is for them to be happy and stop this fighting, but with Gage and Dirk, it is how it has always been. They always compete, and are too much alike not to fight.

On other things,
Nate, myself, Julian, and Colin went out last night.
The clubs around Miami are insane, and I have troubles getting into this hype or whatever you would like to call it. Like I have said before, I'm not a flashy type of guy, but a good time was had.
They have convinced me to go out again tonight.

Here we are.. Miami.

We got the news that Cole was in the hospital. He almost drowned, and then laid in a coma for a week. We all took turns staying with him. Course Dirk and Gage never left his side.
It was heartbreaking to see him like that, a machine breathing for him, not vibrant with life as he usually is. He is doing better now, he needs to see a phsyical therapist so that he can walk again. I do feel guilty, something told me to go there and get them but I ignored it. I let everyone tell me that it would be fine and that they were all adults.
Thankfully everyone is alright again and we will stay around until Cole makes his recovery.

His parents have voiced that they would like to take him home, that mabye this is not the best place for him to be. Joel, myself, and Russ have all spoken with them easing some of their worry and that we will take the utmost care of Cole and that when we head back to the Pi house that the three will come with us.
Will Dirk and Gage object to it, I highly doubt it, as long as they know it is for Cole, they will do anything for him. And now that Cole has started to have fainting spells we all want to keep that much of a closer eye on him.
We are even planning on a party for Cole when he can get on his feet again, for now we will all cater to him. He needs us and we are all here for him.

Where to begin...

We lost a brother, Russ has left. Where to, he did not say but I have a feeling he will show up again one day. And as you lose a brother more show up, of course nobody can fill the void that Russ has left behind but we all agree that Russ has the right to be where he is happy and we all wish him good luck and safety on his journey.

We have two new brothers, Benjamin and Jessie. I have met them both, they are going to get along well here. Surprisingly mature and good natured for teenagers. Unlike two other brothers here which will remain nameless.
But I will say life without those two would be rather boring.

Cole is doing well, back on his feet. I am happy to say things are back to normal, well alright normal is not the word I should use, I suppose I should say things are good. No fights as of yet that I have heard about. And now with being made the new President, it has been interesting having brothers come to me for advice or to just vent about problems.
I enjoy helping them. Makes a person feel good when they know they can make even the slightest difference in someone's life, or hell even day.

Also have to put a note here..
Need to remember to clean out my guest house and have the rest of my things brought here into the main house. Also, to keep Russ's room cleaned on a daily bases.. He will always have his room here.

I spoke with Dirk, looks like Dean is helping after all. He has really improved. Very proud of him.
He now knows we are all here for him, not against him. I think everything is going to be alright with him. No snide remarks, sometimes you need to do a double take to realize that is the same guy from just a few days ago.

As for the other brothers, everything is normal. Matt and Nate are doing great jobs of keeping the compound safe. Jessie helps out with the cars, keeping those things in order, good to have a mechanic around.

Ben has taken up right in here, he wants to install a boxing ring, might be fun to get a few of the other brothers down in there. Could be hilarious.

Eddie stopped by offered to help watch out for the younger brothers when they get out even help them get home if they need it. At least that is one worry off of me. Glad she stopped by.

List of things to do:

It seems Paker had a talk with Doug about, certain things. That is off my list. Thank the Gods above.
I need to find a replacement for Dirk.
Go over the financial records with Jonathan.
Kill Jam for getting Wesley involved with his band.
Replacement for Paul for a month or so.



I am going to go mad. These guys are dead set on driving me absolutely insane. With Jam going on tour and taking Wesley with him, to this situation with Dirk and a few of the other brothers, I am going to go insane.
Luckily Russell is involved with it, and Paul. Perhaps I worry too much, but what can I do. I have to worry. I hope it all works out.

As for around the fraternity, most of it is normal. Nothing really out of the ordinary. I have to find that replacement for Dirk soon however, lists keep piling up on me.

First things first..

We had Russell put in a little room now for the brothers when they get, and this may sound very silly, but for when they get too out of hand. He even made it so that when a fight even breaks out, the two or however many get separated and put into their own section of the room and cannot see anyone.

Sounds so very silly as I write it but Dirk and Gage, none of us can take it anymore and actions had to be taken. They got into yet another fist fight and Gage ran off to who knows, and now Dirk is hardly ever here as well. At least not the main house. But Brandt, Wren, Russell and I have decided this was a small yet helpful change for the fraternity. However I do hope the room never gets used. That Dirk and Gage, or even other brothers start using communication instead of physical violence, though that is wishful thinking perhaps.

On to other things..

I went with Eddie for dinner, a movie, and even a walk through the Market. We talked for what must of been hours, did not even realize what time it was near the end. Luckily for me, nobody knew I was gone so no one had to worry. But that was the least on my mind. Meeting for coffee and tea all those days before were wonderful, but this night with her...They way the moon caught in her eyes. It felt good to hold her hand and sit with her next to the fountain.

Am I that smitten with this girl? I think I am. And the small yet sweet and innocent kiss we shared still is in my mind even now and will most likely be for a very long time to come. This progression with us is very slow and it feels more then right.
I can only hope she feels the same.

I should really get some work done.

List of things to do:
Ask Eddie if she would like to go for a picnic.
Test the "quiet" room.
Find out where Gage went and make sure he is alright.
Meeting with Wren and go over a few lists.

Where to begin. Eddie and I had gone to my family's home back in England, for holiday. She was greeted with more then open arms, they simply adored her, perhaps almost as much as I adore her myself. My Mum was delighted and my Father indeed proud that I have met such a wonderful woman.

As my Mum went on to spend time, my Father and I spoke in private. He let me know just how proud he is of me and my accomplishments. It felt wonderful to have that said from him. It makes these headaches, I sometimes have, all worth while. The Fraternity, no matter how wonderful, can be trying at times to hang in there. I worry for all the brothers, but I shall get into that all in due course.

I proposed to her. And to my very fortunate luck she has said yes. I am more happy then I believe I have ever been. My family is very much overjoyed and look forward to the big event. Of course when we do set a date. One day at a time.

Luckily while I was away, I kept in contact. Russell or Dean would call me to let me know all of what was happening. Sad to say that some things never change when it comes to some things. However some things have changed for the better as well.

Dean's birthday was a huge success and everyone had a grand time. It was great to see everyone all together and enjoying their time. The place looked the part. It was good to see the smile on Dean's face. And everyone else's at that. Lasted a good week and next year will be that much better.

Gage has gone off to travel around Europe, invited some of us to Belgium, might take him up on that offer for another holiday. He says that he has already met a young gentleman that is helping around the new club he has built. However he says they are just friends, though the smile in his voice, I believe speaks of a little more. Time will tell, either way I am very happy for him.

Dirk on the other hand, I have yet to speak to. I think I will call him again and see if perhaps we can sit and chat. From what I heard he is modeling, and doing a very good job of it as well. Cole and him have separated, sadly. Perhaps they can still work things out or at least be friends for the sake of little Lily that is to be due. Another little child to add to our family. The more the merrier. I can not wait to meet the little princess. And she will be just that I am sure, a little princess. Many Uncles and siblings that will love and care for her.

As for the other brothers, Doug and Noelle are to be expecting a daughter any time now. From what I hear also Russell and Ana are trying for another, I believe he will not be happy until he has had twelve children if not more. Matt and Nate are still doing superb jobs of security. However with the growing numbers of the Fraternity we may have to look into a few more to help out. We have new brothers joining all the time. The family continues to grow and grow.

I believe this has been quite enough for now. I have paperwork and lists to go over. It is good to be home.


List:
Look into more security.
Gather more information, place, and time for the annual camping trip.
Be ready for Christmas and decorating the house. List for Secret Santa.
Ready for the New Years party.



Jaden E. Linares