"And good morning, Pi Omega Pi.. Gals and girls.. Boys and toys! How the hell are you all this fine morning of April twenty eighth.. We have a great show for you this morning."

"Arriba Arriba!" he calls back from his chair behind Jam. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"There is Julian, our favorite little Mexicana!"

"Uh, yeah, hola senors y senoras!"

A sound of the mic being muffled. "Dude.. speak English."

A muffled laugh. "Buenos dios, mi amigo!"

Laughter. "Alright so, Julian tell our fine fraternity what is for breakfast this morning."

Crinkled paper sound. "Habla Espanol or English dude?"

"I would say English man."

"Sounds sexier in Spanish man, the chicks dig it." he laughs and the sound of him rustling with the paper. "Ok,..." silence.. "Dude, what's Eggs Benedict? Who wants traitor eggs? They might give you evil gas!"

Just laughter.

The sound of the door creaking open, then closing as Doug walks in, carrying a platter with the morning's breakfast and three coffees. "Sorry I'm late guys!" he puts the tray down with a bit of a clang. "Today's breakfast is.." sound of him munching. "Eggs Benedict, yum..." more munching, "Sausage..." swallowing hard. "hashbrowns, watch out for drool!" he laughs "And pancakes." then a tiny bit of silence. "Or order what you want as usual." he takes his seat and looks back. "Man Julian, did you just pass wind?"

"And there is Dougie the little buggie as his momma like to call him." Laughter then a clearing of his throat. "So alright that is breakfast and..." A crinkle of paper and. "Hmm.."

"Hey guys and gals!" he laughs and takes another bite.

"I think Julian has fallen asleep.." Pause. "And I would be right. So on to the daily reminders. Jaden would like all of you to remember to not hit on the maids, which would be Julian but right now he is asleep. No hitting on the nanny.. Julian again."

Snortle as the sound of his name wakes him up. "I swear she meant nothing to me mammacita!" then silence as he looks around the room. "Oh, breakfast!" Then laughter from him.

"Hey, my momma loves me!" then laughing at Julian.

"O....k..." Crinkle of paper. "And to remember that your seat can be used as a flotation device.. What the hell.." Moment of silence. "Who switched the paper?!"

He giggles from his chair in the back. "Gotcha!"

"Dude, that's not funny. Jaden makes us read this stuff. Don't want to make the Pres mad."

A scuffle sound as Jam is up off the seat and tackling Julian. "Give the paper back!" A bit muffled.

"Oh the carnage!" and laughter.

A screamed giggle. "Get off of me man!" paper tearing and more giggling.

"Ok, well then." silence from him as the giggling and scuffling continues. "Just give him the paper, Julian!"

"Ah! He twisted my nipple!" Still scuffling then another rip of paper and Jam near the mic again. "Yeah, so.."

"You liked it..." he snickers and the sound of his righting himself in the chair.

"Man..." silence from him as he shakes his head. "So, Jam, who is on the list today for our commentary?"

He clears his throat, then mutters under his breath a few choice words that thankfully are so low that they don't have to be bleeped. "Well I saw just a couple of days ago a paper hidden in a not so smart place.. Jaden's office, in his drawer, that can only be opened by a secret key that isn't so secret now.. which Jay bro, you will get back later.. That he was found canoodling with a certain girl on a Friday night. I can only speculate what canoodling is seeing as how I have never heard the word before, but it must be good."

"Canoodling? Sounds like something the Amish do." with a soft laugh.

Julian puts his two cents in. "Naa man, you got it all wrong. Canoodling is when you open a can of worms and eat it like a tamale... good stuff man."

"Jay was eating worms with a girl on a Friday night. Jay dude, the hell?"

Julian's voice. "Aphrodisiac, my friend." and a short, high pitched laugh from Julian.

"Eww! Julian, man! That's just gross!" gagging sounds from Doug.

"Jay needs to get out more if he thinks worms will turn a girl on.." from Jam.

"Do they really?" Doug whispered conspiratorially.

From Julian, lots and lots of laughter at that.

And from Jam a laugh and even a snort to go with it.

"Hey, you guys were pulling my leg!" sounds of crinkling paper as he starts throwing paper balls at them.

"Oh, man.." Jam blows out a breath only to start laughing again.

And Julian doesn't stop laughing. Even saying a few things in Spanish that would have been bleeped if in English. "Dougie man, talk about needing to get out more. Bro..."

More laughter from Jam then another deep breath. "Phew, alright. On to other news."

"Yeah, how about them... umm... what's the local sports team?" Doug hurriedly speaks to get off of the worm subject.

Julian just keeps on laughing.

And Jam busts out laughing. "Doug.. worms.. really?"

More laughter from Julian.

Doug replies indignantly. "Dude I aint got no little worms"

Julian's feet pound the floor. Screams of laughter, and gulping for air. "Oh man, I'm crying here!"

"Whew!" Jam takes a breath. "Now let's see here... Seems that Kay was seen running after Parker the other day, and then possible a diss when no sounds of the usual.. Chica chica bow wow.. after." Gasp. "Are they just... friends..." A hit of a button and dramatic music played.

"Hey, if he don't want her, I'll take her. Man she's a hot tamale." with a bit of a laugh. "Without the worms."

Doug ignores Julian for now. "man" he laughs. "do that chica chica thing again!"

Jam brings the mic to his lips. "Parker, Jay.. and all my other bros not getting any.. Chica chica bow wow.. Just for you my brothers."

Doug laughs and pulls the mic closer. "I don't know what that means really, but it's funny!"

Julian off mic. "Dougie, man, you can borrow some of my movies, you'll find out really quick what that means!"

Doug whispers to Julian. "Look at the way Jam moves when he says it. I'm not sure I want to know!" then silence as the looks at Jam. "Oh, sorry, but you dance really nice."

A little bit of more silence as Jam looks behind him. "Julian, bro.. go get a movie real quick."

"On it!" Julian jumps up and there's a slam of the door as he runs out.

Silence as he looks to Jam then to Julian running out. "Can we lock the door now?" then laughter.

"Reading my mind bro." As the click to the door and he sits back down on the barstool with a light laugh. "Now back to Parker, Kay and Wesley, the soap opera is just killing me."

"Well yeah, I mean a love triangle, right here in our own walls! Who would have thought? So who do you think she's going to chica bow bow... or whatever with?"

"Well we all know Parker has a commitment issue.. as do all Reynolds, yeah you heard it here first. Reynolds brothers are T.. R.. O.. U..B.. L.. E.. commitment phobs."

"Yeah, like that country song. I didn't know you liked country, Jam." the sounds of him singing. "T.R.O.U.B.L.E"

"Dude when you sing you sound like that little penguin on that one movie.. The heck was that called." He laughs.

Crinkled paper as he wads up another paper ball and throws it at Jam. It bounces off of his mic with a crunching sound. "Penguins are cute! Hey, my momma loves me, she loves me, she gets down on her knees and hugs me whoa she loves me like a rock!" yes, he's singing again.

"Good god." He grabs the mic and Doug is just in the background now. "We're all going to die..." He whispers.

Laughter off mic. "Hey, gimme that back, please?" he reaches out for the mic. "I brought you coffee and breakfast!"

"Finish it up bro.." As he hands the mic to him.

"The song?" he laughs again. "Now who do, ah who do you think you're foolin'" he is way off key.

"Agh.. Finish the show!"

"Oh, yea right. That's it from..." off mic the sound of Julian banging on the door. "Uh oh.." laughing

Muffled and way off mic is Julian."I got your movie right here!" he whines like a girl. "Head cleaner! I didn't open it yet!"

Laughter. "Bleep that out!"

"Don't you use those to clean your dvd player?" he whispers to the mic and Jam.

"Ah!" And laughter.

He pushes the bleep button and it goes for a few seconds. "I bleeped!'

Through laughter. "This was Jam.. telling you to always have your.." Laughter. "Daily pie."

"And I'm Doug, reminding you that you can beat the hell out of us, but we'll still talk trash about you the next day!"

And the mic goes dead.

The mic back on. "Disclaimer.. " This is mumbled and said very fast. "We can not be held liable for what was said during this wonderful morning talk show, if you have a problem with anything please talk to my hand, or Doug's hand.. or even your own hand. Bribery will be welcomed however not encouraged unless of course you have Cadbury Eggs, which in that case please leave them outside my door and I will be forever grateful, however I will still talk trash about you, most likely. As always this is just for fun and you all know that we are all brothers for life and love ya!" Click of the mic going dead.

"Good morning to all the brothers and ladies! We have a very big show for you today, as you recall we will be sending our own little Dougie to the bathroom on the third floor of doom... to buy one of those infamous glow in the dark, spooky ass, condoms. And exciting news of two very important people returning and we must all be on our best behavior so says, Jayjay the jet plane. So I will leave it to Dougie the Buggie to let you all know just who we are talking about, Dougie?"

Slurp of coffee and a tired Dougie voice. "Man, I'm so excited! Former Presidents, Brandt and Wren are here! Man you talk about power and strength. Those two started it all! I'd love to just sit in on the meeting that they're having with Jay. Can you imagine?"

A chuckle. "I can only imagine our poor little Jay nervous and sipping his.." Horrible English accent. "Spot of coffee." Back to normal voice, thank the gods above. "But I think we would all want to sit and listen to that conversation, yes that is right brothers, the former first and second presidents are here.. Best behavior everyone. "Close to the mic." Even you Julian."

Laughter at the horrible accent. "Jay's got some big shoes to fill. And man, did you see their wives? Gorgeous man, just, gorgeous!"

"Oh yes, the lovely Mrs. Bennington and Mrs. Ashcroft, very classy and beautiful women." A sip of his coffee. "And I hear they are thinking of staying for a bit of time, so, it's going to be old times again, brothers."

"You know Jam, someday I'm going to be President." he says very confidently.

He laughs softly. "I wouldn't doubt it there Doug, you're a good kid." Then he clears his throat. "I mean, on with the show."

Thanks Jam." smile in his voice. "On to the menu. Today we have French toast or western omelet. Bacon, ham or sausage and your choice of juices. Sounds good Cookie!" a moment of silence. "What's the weather like today Jam?"

"Mm, french toast..." And they lost him.

"Well then." laughing. "Let me stick my head out of the window while brother Jam wipes the drool from the console." sound of window opening and Doug off the mic. "Beautiful weather, sky's clear and it's warm!" Back to mic.

"Right, nice and clear.. with french toast..." Talk about drool.

He brings the mic close to his face. "Cookie, French toast emergency to the studio, stat!"

He laughs. "Emergency!"

"Glad to see you're back bro. So any funny noises news lately?"

"Well we of course have the norm.. Julian and his latest little hot latina. Gage and Dirk all god awful hours of the night. Dudes.. sleep every once and a while! And... a new couple seems to have been going at it yesterday afternoon. Hint, hint, he is in the studio right now."

"Yeah," as Jam speaks. "Yeah, sleep guys!" then the sound of coffee being sputtered onto the mic. "Uh, who?"

He chuckles. "Going at it so much so that he had to make a trip to the store.. twice. That is right, twice!"

"Hey, the second time was for... umm..." fidgeting around. "I didn't go to the store!"

He laughs even more, even sounds of other people laughing down the hall.

He puts his hand on the mic and whispers. "Man we were not loud!" then hand off of the mic. "So, anyway..."

He laughs even more. "Doug man, you have got to let that little tigeress be loud. She is .. wow!"

Utter silence as his jaw drops and his eyes go wide.

More laughing and then a clearing of his throat. "Alright, well at least when you go up to the haunted bathroom you will get more nillies for your willie."

"Do what?!" laughter. "What's a nillie?"

He can't help it, he giggles. "Willies..."

He chuckles. "You need to put that little mic on so you can get your ass up there to that bathroom."

"Oh yeah!" he starts to fiddle with the wires and clips. "And I just have to say..." brings the mic close. "Love you Noelle."

Fake Gagging. "Such a girl."

"Ok, is this thing on?" he taps the remote mic and there's reverb. "I'm off then!" sounds of foot steps then the door opening and closing. As he walks down the hall there's wolf whistles and cat calls and mockings of "Ooo Noelle!" from various brothers. The footsteps grow faster as he runs to get away from them. He takes the stairs two at a time. Finally reaching said bathroom he stands at the door and looks at it. "Ok Jam, I'm up here."

He laughs. "Alright man, now just.. open the door."

The eerie sound of the door creaking as he opens it slowly. Then the sound of a popping noise as he tries to turn on the light and the bulb burns out. "Crap." whispered. "It's dark in here..." sound of change as he digs it out of his pocket. "Whoa!" sound of him smacking the floor. "Man it's slimey!" a bit of silence. "Man, this is just... the floor is slimey and the walls, man, dusty." a scream and then a door slam.

He laughs, he can't help it. "Doug man, you are such a girl!"

"There's somebody in here with me." another whisper. Then the sound of water running. His breathing is picking up and can be heard on the mic. He tugs on the door and can't get it open. Sounds of kicking against the door. "Jam, let me out! Let me out!"

He laughs even more, but then whispers. "Ask who it is.. ask if it is the nillie monster.."

"Who... who's there? Is it the... nillie monster?" his voice trembles. A deep booming bass voice replies. "It's the plumber, and I've come to fix the sink!"

He laughs so loud it might bust the speakers.

He screams and tugs at the door, this time it opens and he falls to the floor again. More screaming as he clambers up and runs from the bathroom. Nillie completely forgotten.

Matt picks up the mic and grins to Nate. "Back to you, Jam."

He laughs. "Thanks guys. And on to more news, might I add that Jayjay wants it to be known that later tomorrow night we will be having a reunion of sorts and everyone is welcomed to attend. So don't miss out!"

Door flying open, then slamming. "I'm covered in goo!"

"And Dougie is back!" He flips the switch for the cheering.

Yeah thanks. Next time you get to go out on remote." he slides into his chair. "Man this stuff smells like Julian's hair."

He laughs so much that he just about slips off the chair. "Did you see the nillie monster?" Then busts out laughing again.

No!" paper crinkling as he starts to throw paper balls at Jam. "Alrighty then. There's going to be a boxing tournament held in the gym later this week. Come support your favorite fighters!"

He is still in a laughing fit. "Julian man did you hear him scream?! Nate.. Matt... Priceless." He is laughing again.

"Oh my Gods!" scuffling sounds as he tackles Jam. "You set that up! That bathroom isn't haunted!"

"Ah!" As he is tackled but laughs even more.

He gets back on mic. "Ok buddy, war's started.You don't know who you're messing with." he laughs maniacally for the mic. "Prank is my middle name!"

Even more laughter from Jam.

"Man, get up off of the floor, we need to finish the show."

He laughs and gets back up to the mic. "Tomorrows show is going to be fantastical brothers. We are going to be in the kitchen with none other then Cook and he is going to show us how to make, scrambled eggs and bacon. He is going to actually let us in his kitchen! It will be a monumentalality show!"

"So make sure you tune in for all the fun and excitement! Hey Jam, you get any Cadbury's yet?"

"You better believe it! And yes actually I have, a whole basket full, I wonder who that was from.."

Laughter from Doug. "That's too cool man! So remember, you can beat the hell out of us, but we'll still talk trash about you the next day. I'm Dougie the buggie..."

"And this is Jam, saying.. always have your Daily Pie!"

Peace!" and the mic goes dead.

The mic back on. "Disclaimer.. " This is mumbled and said very fast. "We can not be held liable for what was said during this wonderful morning talk show, if you have a problem with anything please talk to my hand, or Doug's hand.. or even your own hand. Bribery will be welcomed however not encouraged unless of course you have Cadbury Eggs, which in that case please leave them outside my door and I will be forever grateful, however I will still talk trash about you, most likely. As always this is just for fun and you all know that we are all brothers for life and love ya!" Click of the mic going dead.