I found this old joke from my days in BAz. We are talking 1998.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating the following:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving care with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they painted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive but would only run on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "General car fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would request all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need thme or want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to dimish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduces a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would poerate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine.
