Topic: Beauty in the Breakdown

Zoe

Date: 2009-06-04 23:45 EST
The glass is half empty, so pass the next bottle.

She practically launched herself into room twenty-two of the Red Dragon Inn. With a quick spin on bare feet the door was slammed behind her, a solid click locking it into place. Her head craned backwards, blue eyes scanning the few and far between furnishings of her latest abode. She spotted the wooden chair in the corner that had her guitar case resting across it. Quickly working with little flair the case was on the floor and she was dragging the chair back, positioning it beneath the door handle. Fists settled themselves on thin hips while she stared at her handy work. Would that really keep out anyone who was dead set on coming in? Any other time she would have said yes, but she was quickly learning in leaps and bounds that this place was anything but the norm. It would have to do for now and it gave her just enough peace of mind. Her movements were a little more relaxed. Slower. What was the point in rushing around? She hadn't been here long enough to acquire a to do list. It was all just killing time. That was the story of her life for the last, Jesus, how long had it been? It wasn't important enough right now to do the math.

The cigarette perched behind her ear was pulled free and placed between her lips. Hands slid over her jeans before fingers dipped into her back pocket fishing out a simple red plastic lighter. She never went far without one yet rarely used it, bumming cigarettes and all that went with them had become an art in her eyes. Something to say grace on and reflect over with strangers, like the homeless that swarm soup kitchens. It also didn't hurt that it saved her the hassle of having to go to the store to feed her habit. The lighter was extended towards a short fat cream colored candle resting in a pillow of hardened wax on her bedside table. The little flame kissed it to life then the action was repeated on her cigarette. She tossed the lighter onto the table and sat herself down on the bed, long legs folding over onto themselves. Two tendrils of gray smoke were slowly exhaled through her nostrils and curled lazily towards the ceiling while her brows furrowed in thought.

Demons, vampires, ghouls. "Ya know all those things they tell ya are just fiction where we come from? It's all real." She had an inkling. People eluded to it here and there. Jochin was simply the first one to be straight forward with her. To come right out and confirm it all. That the boogiemen she was assured couldn't be lurking in the shadows as a child were real. What a blow to the gut. Was this the normal reaction? Was there a normal way for someone to react to something like this? Those red leather boots had carried her a long way from her home sweet home, or what she had felt was the closest thing to a home she would ever get, but she had never been faced with anything like this before. She hated that she felt so uneasy now while others seemed to not even notice. To Jochin it was nothing more than a job. Yet here she was locked away with fear bubbling in her stomach. What did it say about her? Was she a coward? The moment the word crossed her mind she grit her teeth and knew she had a choice to make. Was she going to head out? A parting "it's been real" for the hand full of people who had shown her a bit of kindness in the past few weeks? Or would she suck it up and stay?

Wilted ashes were flicked into the make-shift tinfoil ashtray on the table. Full of heavy thoughts and smoke, she leaned over the side of her bed grabbing an olive drab army bag that was hauled from its place on the floor and settled in front of her. Once the cigarette was back in place between tight lips the pack was opened and she began her search. It didn't take long for a quiet yet victorious "Aha" to escape her while she withdrew a smooth black handle with small silver rivets holding it together. The pad of her thumb ran along the handle, shifting it here and there until it was weighted in her hand just right. An added bit of pressure caused the spring loaded blade to unfold itself with a click. Blue eyes watched the reflected flicker of dying candlelight catch in silver as her body shifted, back pressed against the wall. With a swift swing befitting the batsh*t ballerina, the thick silence that had surrounded her was broken as the switchblade cut through the air and became embedded in the wood of the side table. Staying in place even as she removed her hand.

With that simple act, room twenty-two was claimed in the name of Zoe Day. She would not run. That was not the legacy she wanted to leave behind. Zoe knew better than most that not all beasts had claws and fangs. She had already allowed too many monsters in her life to cause her to turn tail. Her mind was made up, her feet set in place.

This was her home, at least for now, and no one was going to take that away from her.

Zoe

Date: 2009-06-16 10:41 EST
The crowd rumbled through the streets of the marketplace: yelling children, haggling housewives, and elderly coots sharing tales of the good ol' days. It was a surprising legion for it being so early in the morning, but they all joined together in a soft roar. Though, if anyone pressed their ears hard enough they could hear the soft strum of fingers across the strings of an acoustic. With a proper sidestep and slide through the cluster, the Little Blue Bird clutching her beat up guitar would come into view. An equally shabby hard leather case opened at her bare tapping feet, red leather boots set off to the side behind her. Thin pale fingers plucked effortlessly, like it were second nature. Yet blue eyes were turned towards the ground, the too long locks of her mohawk passing down in front of her face. Was she shy? Well, before that thought could drag through too many minds her head was lifted, a deep inhale through her nostrils and then on the exhale... she sang. Words surprisingly soft and sincere.

I'm gonna ride this plane out of your life again. I wish that I could stay, but you argue.
More than this I wish, you could've seen my face. In backseats staring out, the window.
So, leave yourself intact, 'cause I will be coming back. In a phrase to cut these lips-

"It's not a garbage can." A few people who had paused to hear the oddly sweet serenade gave a blink at the sudden stop to the Blue Wonder's singing. She was still playing that guitar, not missing a note or skipping a beat. But her eyes were trained on a man just barely older than her who had dropped what looked to be an opened cigarette package in her case. He looked just as stunned as the others, so Zoe repeated herself. "I said it's not a garbage can. Do I come to your job and toss my trash around?"

The man gave another slow blink before pointing down at the case, "It- It's got a few cigarettes in it. I didn't have any money, but wanted to give you something." Zoe still had a stern expression cut across her features, but the crowd who was gathered and all those that started to join hoping for a right ruckus simply looked confused. It was rather odd for a confrontation to have its own theme music playing in the background. To make things even more interesting, or because she refused to let this detract from her worth ethic, the determined Little Blue Bird continued the next bit of her song. More passion in her words than before, that irritated blue gaze never leaving the man.

The morning will come, in the press of every kiss. With your head upon my chest.
Where I will annoy you, with every waking breath, until you decide to wake up.
If morning never comes for either one of us, then this I pray to you wherever.
I'll do anything for you. This story is for you...

"Don't you find it a bit offensive?" She asked after a pause, letting her lyrics settle for a moment before cutting right through them even if her fingers never stopped.

The man shook his head. He should have simply walked away, but he was like a deer in headlights unable to run from the oncoming semi. "I- I don't understand. What's offensive?"

There was a snort from Zoe, the next note she hit ringing along in unison. It was the only time she broke away from the steady strumming which she went right back to. "Don't you find it a bit offensive to simply assume that I smoke? Just because I'm on the street with a guitar instead of tucked behind a desk it automatically means I must have a couple habits under my belt?" Thin brows rose. The ever growing crowd turned their heads towards the man. It was like watching a malicious game of ping pong, but one of the competitors wasn't quite aware of the rules or how they got signed up in the first place.

"I really didn't mean anything by it. I can see how you might think that though and... I- I'm sorry I assumed you smoked." He leaned forward reaching down to retrieve the cigarettes, but before he could get a hand inside the case it closed with a sudden snap. Zoe's barefoot was settled on top of it, her guitar now resting on her knee.

"Oh no, brother man, I smoke alright. But it's best in the future to not leap to any conclusions just because someone might have a little street rat in them. You know what they say, right? Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Both rows of pearly white teeth could be seen since Zoe was smiling so wide, her bare foot waggled at the man's hand in a shooing motion. "Now, I thank you for the smokes. You can leave them right where they're at." Her thin body leaned forward over the guitar, those dedicated fingers working towards the crescendo of her tune. Her volume loud, the words bursting forth through the large grin cut across her lips.

The morning will come, in the press of every kiss. With your head upon my chest.
Where I will annoy you with every waking breath, until you... decide to wake up.

There was a spattering of applause. Zoe's foot lifted from her guitar case, her heel pulling the lid back open as she went so people could toss in a few coins here and there. With that exhilarated expression still in place she tapped trimmed fingernails along the pick guard of her acoustic while peering around at the crowd. "So, can I take any requests in exchange for a lighter?"

Lyrics from: Coheed & Cambria - Wake Up

Zoe

Date: 2009-07-27 19:23 EST
I wasn't really looking for some more than
Some company on the dance floor.

I'm not a flirt.

I never was and after my little incident I now make a special effort to refrain. What can I say? Having your last boyfriend try to bash your skull in with a rock will make any girl think long and hard about her next relationship. That's the ultimate "it's not me, it's you" and it leaves behind scars more heinous than the usual ones found only on the heart.

I wanted a cigarette.

The fact I was getting it from an amazingly good looking guy didn't hurt, but I knew he was out of my league. I hadn't been around the city for more than a few weeks and I already understood there was a huge difference between me and the other girls that roamed these streets. I was up against caramel tans, big busts, and curvy hips armed with that perfected sway. I was okay with that. I wasn't expecting anything else.

Isn't it interesting what finds you when your head is turned?

We talked over drinks, the halo of smoke surrounding us practically blocking out everyone else in the room. It had been so long since I had openly laughed to the point where my side hurt. It was a spectacular pain that I barely knew existed. I honestly can't tell you why I was so at ease. Maybe it was how he looked at me? Like I wasn't damaged. Like I was worth something. Though, at the time I figured it was my mind casting my own hopes across his eyes.

I felt I was seeing what I wanted to see.

I listened patiently through the conversation for that solid thump of sole against concrete. I've built my life around waiting for the other shoe to drop and I wasn't disappointed, though it didn't have to do with him. It was the city, built on shadow dwelling monsters and creatures that could rip my ribcage out through my chest before I could breathe a word of protest. It was all real. It was all here. I did my best to stay calm and cool, but I was quickly grabbing a cigarette for the road and hauling tail up into my room, taking steps two at a time. Why make a new friend if I was going to pack my bags and leave?

But I didn't. I couldn't.

I never would have thought twice before about ditching a town in hopes of something new, something safer. I would like to think I somehow acquired a bit of bravery during that brief encounter with him. That some of his strength rubbed off on me. It seems more likely that I was acting with my heart rather than my head or spine. In the end, amongst all the things that I do which I'll never begin to understand I know this.

I'm so thankful I stayed.