Most of the minstrel's afternoon had been spent wandering the city, thinking. It was a rare day, for he stayed on the ground and walked the streets. He watched the people. He listened absently to conversations of the weather, of well-being, and other daily occurrences. His mood remained a mix of uncertainty and hope throughout.
He had passed by the Stitch, but he didn't go inside. There was a smile on his lips when he saw the building, though it only remained for a brief time. In the Marketplace, the minstrel did not stick out at all. Performers were a common sight, after all, especially in that area. The world around him became a blur. He could hear voices, see people, but they were unrecognizable. His hands rested in his pockets as he unconsciously weaved his way through the crowd.
He went south from the Marketplace. His mind was lost, even while his body continued on. Recent events had nearly driven the minstrel to the point of insanity. His attack on Lydia and Jay was what caused it all. He still didn't know what had made Jay become so violent against Poppy. All he really remembered was the rage, the wolf whispering to him, seeking a chance to be unleashed. Many times, that time included, he tried to fight it. It had always been futile. He would fight and the wolf would press its will upon him. It was then he would change. And, he had.
The guilt he had felt for attacking Lydia was tremendous. She had done nothing to deserve it. And Jay? He hadn't either. Despite the fact he had hurt Poppy, it would have been hypocritical to blame him for what had happened. The minstrel shook his head, as recollections continued to pour into his mind.
All of the hunters. He had never seen so many converge at once. After the attacks, he avoided his home. Avoided those whom he treasured the most. He had done his very best to keep that sort of attention on himself and only on himself. He had succeeded, as far as he knew. He bore a scar from those two weeks of running. One across his right leg. He was lucky he hadn't died. It was a clear picture, the day Poppy found him sitting at the fountain in the market. His strength had been nonexistent. Pale, exhausted, but he did not seek any sort of refuge. His sister had taken him in. He refused to risk Ayly or Lyric because of his actions.
With rest came only more problems. He had managed to make the danger pass, but that was not uncommon. The aftermath was what he had been worried about, and rightly so. The days before the full moon he saw a familiar desperation and hopelessness in Jay and Lydia that he himself had experienced well over a decade ago. Guilt was all he could really feel. His heart left him open to nothing else. The way Lydia had seemed to shun him then, it had hurt. It was just like always, the same circle repeated itself over and over again. It had happened many times throughout his life.
Happiness would come and then the wolf would reveal itself. People were hurt, some even killed. He would run. There was little else to do. No one ever understood. Usually, it was because they refused to. Hatred was an emotion that had long been the minstrel's companion. For his father, at himself from outside sources and within, for the things he had done. Forgiveness had never been something he was truly gifted with.
Even with Ayly, the amount of stress had been too much. Not much had been discussed, but his absence had weighed upon her, of that he was certain. Lyric, as well. His poor daughter. "Where is Daddy? Why isn't he home? Is he okay?" Questions that had been repeated to him in less than cautious tones. It still stung to think about. Stung to think about that same little girl crying when her family was pulled apart. His fists clenched reflexively. He had never wanted any of it to happen, but wishing things to be so was no solution at all.
He withdrew a great deal, when Ayly and Lyric were gone. Hardly spoke to anyone, hardly did anything. He focused on dueling. Proving to himself that he didn't need anyone became his goal. Fortunately, perhaps, that goal was unattainable. He found solace in only two people. Poppy had been there for him the entire time. His sister held nothing against him, as far as he could tell. She stayed with him. It was true she had needed a place to live, but really, her presence had been just as much a benefit for Soerl.
He paused in his walking for a moment. He could see the museum nearby. Soon, his steps continued.
He had passed by the Stitch, but he didn't go inside. There was a smile on his lips when he saw the building, though it only remained for a brief time. In the Marketplace, the minstrel did not stick out at all. Performers were a common sight, after all, especially in that area. The world around him became a blur. He could hear voices, see people, but they were unrecognizable. His hands rested in his pockets as he unconsciously weaved his way through the crowd.
He went south from the Marketplace. His mind was lost, even while his body continued on. Recent events had nearly driven the minstrel to the point of insanity. His attack on Lydia and Jay was what caused it all. He still didn't know what had made Jay become so violent against Poppy. All he really remembered was the rage, the wolf whispering to him, seeking a chance to be unleashed. Many times, that time included, he tried to fight it. It had always been futile. He would fight and the wolf would press its will upon him. It was then he would change. And, he had.
The guilt he had felt for attacking Lydia was tremendous. She had done nothing to deserve it. And Jay? He hadn't either. Despite the fact he had hurt Poppy, it would have been hypocritical to blame him for what had happened. The minstrel shook his head, as recollections continued to pour into his mind.
All of the hunters. He had never seen so many converge at once. After the attacks, he avoided his home. Avoided those whom he treasured the most. He had done his very best to keep that sort of attention on himself and only on himself. He had succeeded, as far as he knew. He bore a scar from those two weeks of running. One across his right leg. He was lucky he hadn't died. It was a clear picture, the day Poppy found him sitting at the fountain in the market. His strength had been nonexistent. Pale, exhausted, but he did not seek any sort of refuge. His sister had taken him in. He refused to risk Ayly or Lyric because of his actions.
With rest came only more problems. He had managed to make the danger pass, but that was not uncommon. The aftermath was what he had been worried about, and rightly so. The days before the full moon he saw a familiar desperation and hopelessness in Jay and Lydia that he himself had experienced well over a decade ago. Guilt was all he could really feel. His heart left him open to nothing else. The way Lydia had seemed to shun him then, it had hurt. It was just like always, the same circle repeated itself over and over again. It had happened many times throughout his life.
Happiness would come and then the wolf would reveal itself. People were hurt, some even killed. He would run. There was little else to do. No one ever understood. Usually, it was because they refused to. Hatred was an emotion that had long been the minstrel's companion. For his father, at himself from outside sources and within, for the things he had done. Forgiveness had never been something he was truly gifted with.
Even with Ayly, the amount of stress had been too much. Not much had been discussed, but his absence had weighed upon her, of that he was certain. Lyric, as well. His poor daughter. "Where is Daddy? Why isn't he home? Is he okay?" Questions that had been repeated to him in less than cautious tones. It still stung to think about. Stung to think about that same little girl crying when her family was pulled apart. His fists clenched reflexively. He had never wanted any of it to happen, but wishing things to be so was no solution at all.
He withdrew a great deal, when Ayly and Lyric were gone. Hardly spoke to anyone, hardly did anything. He focused on dueling. Proving to himself that he didn't need anyone became his goal. Fortunately, perhaps, that goal was unattainable. He found solace in only two people. Poppy had been there for him the entire time. His sister held nothing against him, as far as he could tell. She stayed with him. It was true she had needed a place to live, but really, her presence had been just as much a benefit for Soerl.
He paused in his walking for a moment. He could see the museum nearby. Soon, his steps continued.