But I could never make you stay
Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words
Erin came into the bar on her lunch break. It was a normal day, like any other day. She made tea, she chatted with Toby.. and then she spotted Sebastian. A smile and a nod, she hadn't expected him there and the surprise was a pleasant one.
He raised his mug to her as he smiled. Lunch break too?
The kettle whistled and she turned the water into her mug. Mmhmm. Hold on a sec Erin wandered into the kitchen and returned not a minute later with a hunk of bread and a hunk of cheese along with the butter and a hunk of chocolate. Lunch of champions. Long ways for you to be for lunch. She put the food on a tray along with her tea and made her way to the table.
'Ello, luv. Sebastian was still smiling as Erin approached and he set his mug down. Lovely to see you so early in the day.
I know, really. Erin smiled as she sat, swirling her teastrainer infuser thing around in her mug. She blinked a few times, leaning over the mug to breath in the steam. Think I'm coming down with something... She was indeed, all stuffed up.
You've been going non-stop, Erin. I wouldn't be surprised if you were getting sick, hon. Sebastian looked at her, slightly concerned, but then picked up his mug for another sip of tea.
Yeah, I know. Erin shrugged a little. I'm slowing down a little, though. The store's open, the paper isn't printing for awhile... things are calmer. You've been out here a lot lately. She smirks, lifting the bread for a big bite. Heard you were in the bar not three days ago.
I've been here like, 4 times since the beginning of February, love. Sebastian sighed. Hardly a lot. The mug was set down again and his hands folded. Yeah, I am allowed to come to the bar, aren't I?
Of course. Erin shrugged. Just teasing. She rolled her eyes and finally took the teainfuser thing out of her mug, leaving it on the saucer. A blow on it and she took a sip.
Things have been really slow at the docks. We can't do much until the office is rebuilt and that is taking forever. He sat back in his chair and linked his fingers behind his head. We've been helping other establishments or just terrorizing people. He grinned.
Sounds fun. A snicker. That how you ended up drunk at three in the afternoon? She raised a brow, sipping from her cup. It was then put back on the saucer with a small clink and she lifted the chocolate to take a chomp.
I haven't been drunk for quite some time. He eyed her suspiciously. I told you that I don't even like getting drunk. What kind of accusation is that and where did you hear it?
Erin shrugged. Around. Though, I kinda hope you were drunk, otherwise you're a closeted exhibitionist. She was hiding that little smile behind her teacup, but it was there.
Slightly miffed, Sebastian wished Erin had just come out and asked him what happened instead of wringing information from him in this manner. He shrugged and quirked a sort of half-smile. It was truth or dare. Not like I had any choice.
I'm just teasing. Erin shook her head and rolled her eyes again. Gosh, you're quite soar about something you did voulentarilly. You think you could dance on the bar and walk away without a little jabbing? She snickered, taking another bite from her bread. Though, I do have to admit.. it wasn't really like you. She tilted her head a little to look him over You okay?
Sebastian sat there flabbergasted. Had he not smiled as she had? Who said anything about being sore about it? I...did..Erin. Trust me, there were many jabs and I took them quite well. It was fun. Wouldn't have accepted it if I had known half of my family was going to show up, but I was already starting. Sebastian leaned forward. I'm obviously fine...are you? Why all the interest in my dare?
I don't know... She shrugged a little, shuffling her feet on the floor. It just wasn't like you, is all. You're always saying you don't want to drink and you hate being here and stuff.. and then you show up drinking and playing games... it just.. was weird. Chew, munch, munch.
Ahh, so Erin was jealous. She really could have just come out and said that. I had a few lager's with Milo and Jent and then stopped by here when they had to go home. I grabbed one more lager for the road, since I don't keep it at home, and got distracted by the game. I joined and that was that, Erin. I sincerely apologize if my actually being social for once is weird, but isn't that what you've been wanting all along?
I didn't say I was upset. Erin shook her head, her eyebrows pinched together. I just said it was weird for you. Sebastian, what the hell is wrong with you? I teased you a little, and you asked my why I was harping on something. To get a laugh, that's why. Then you ask why I care at all.. and becuase it was unlike you. Sure, I'd like you to be more social,but I was just asking a simple question... stop jumping on everything I say like I'm attacking you. I was just trying to be f-ing light hearted for once and you went and stomped it to death. She put her teacup down with a bit of a clatter.
Then stop harping on the fact that I'm trying to loosen up.
I'm just teasing you about it. I tease people, that's what I do. You used to like it. You used to like most of the things I do, now you're just constantly annoyed at me. If you don't like me, please, come out and say it already and save us both a world of hurt.
You- Sebastian froze mid-sentence, shocked beyond all belief. Was Erin serious? The look on her face told Sebastian that she was and he wanted to go attack the porch again like he'd done a few months ago. Sebastian realized now that no matter what he said or did, Erin would never believe that he loved her. Every little argument had to be equated with their amount of love for each other these days, didn't it? Is that what you really want me to say, Erin? That I hate you? If I lie, will you believe that since you don't seem to want to believe the truth when I tell you every day that I love you?
Of course I believe it. I just don't know if you understand what you're saying. Erin sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, clenching her eyes shut. You say you do. You act like you do. And then you just... get mad and irrate and shut down everytime you see me. I don't understand it. Really... I thought it was me... but I talked to some people, and I thought about it and it's not. It's you. I infuriate you. You may love me with all your heart, but just admit that to yourself.. Just admit that you can't stand half the things I say or do. Or stop being angry about it all the time.
Fine. Sebastian got up, leaving his tea behind, and leaned across the table to give Erin a kiss on the cheek. Since it pleases you so, I'll get drunk more often and do stupid things. He was absolutely bloody serious. However, I have to get back to Dave now, so I'll see you at home.
What? That is not at all what I... where the hell are you going? She was wide eyed and opened mouthed and it took her a moment to stand up. What the hell does that have to do with anything?
You said not to get mad. So I won't get mad. Sebastian turned back to face her, confused out of his mind. I obviously jumped on your back just now for no reason. I'm sorry.
Erin shook her head, sticking her hands in her pockets. Whatever... it's okay. Go back to work. She was a little clipped.
Now what did I do? He sounded desperate. What do you want from me?
For you to actually sit and talk about something without putting words in my mouth I didn't say, or dismissing it at the end because you're tired of talking about it. She shook her head a little. It was really hard for me to get that all out, took me days to do even, and you just whiped it away with one sentence. You want there to be some magic fix or something, I don't know. Just.. know that I love you unconditionally no matter what you do. And I just hope you extend that same trust to me. Think about it... becuase sometimes I think you imagine stuff I do, or put words in my mouth.
He has no idea what Erin is even talking about anymore. He stood there, not caring that people were watching, gawking at Erin. I don't even think you're talking about the same thing as three minutes ago, love. Your talking about trust and whatnot now. I'd like for your to give me a specific instance when I haven't loved you unconditionally. Was it when I forgave you for willfully letting another man kiss you while we were married? When you questioned whether or not you were in love with someone else? Or is it while you, perhaps unknowingly, flirt with other men and I don't say a word, even though it hurts me, because I know it's just your personality? When people talk about you behind your back, like your "friends" do about me I might add, and I stick up for you NO MATTER WHAT? You're my wife. That means commitment where I come from. Sebastian knew better than to let this go much further because of Erin's probable inability to just take it like the argument it is
My friends don't say a word about you that isn't true. She shook her head a little, running a hand over her forehead. I stick up for you and stick up for you and tell them that you're just cranky and you dont' always treat me the way you do in front of them.. but I'm starting to wonder which one is the real you and which one is the lie. Because sometimes you have nothing but utter contempt for me. I was starting to believe it, too. That I was bad to you. That I'm bad in general, but I think about it now.. and I've done nothing wrong in months. I have been drinking less, and flirting less, and spending more and more time with Cassie than with men, even though I relate to men better... and you still walk in and say hello to PJ, but not a word to me. Or flip out when I try and tease you a little. I... I don't know what it is you want from me. Do you even know?
Sebastian's hands balled into fists and he hung his head in defeat. We'll never get past this, Erin. Gideon is right. You deserve so much better and I obviously can't make you happy. So, yes, I do know what I want. He looked up at her, anger and hurt so very much apparent. A divorce. Maybe someone else will make you happy. And with that, he turned and left.
Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words
Erin came into the bar on her lunch break. It was a normal day, like any other day. She made tea, she chatted with Toby.. and then she spotted Sebastian. A smile and a nod, she hadn't expected him there and the surprise was a pleasant one.
He raised his mug to her as he smiled. Lunch break too?
The kettle whistled and she turned the water into her mug. Mmhmm. Hold on a sec Erin wandered into the kitchen and returned not a minute later with a hunk of bread and a hunk of cheese along with the butter and a hunk of chocolate. Lunch of champions. Long ways for you to be for lunch. She put the food on a tray along with her tea and made her way to the table.
'Ello, luv. Sebastian was still smiling as Erin approached and he set his mug down. Lovely to see you so early in the day.
I know, really. Erin smiled as she sat, swirling her teastrainer infuser thing around in her mug. She blinked a few times, leaning over the mug to breath in the steam. Think I'm coming down with something... She was indeed, all stuffed up.
You've been going non-stop, Erin. I wouldn't be surprised if you were getting sick, hon. Sebastian looked at her, slightly concerned, but then picked up his mug for another sip of tea.
Yeah, I know. Erin shrugged a little. I'm slowing down a little, though. The store's open, the paper isn't printing for awhile... things are calmer. You've been out here a lot lately. She smirks, lifting the bread for a big bite. Heard you were in the bar not three days ago.
I've been here like, 4 times since the beginning of February, love. Sebastian sighed. Hardly a lot. The mug was set down again and his hands folded. Yeah, I am allowed to come to the bar, aren't I?
Of course. Erin shrugged. Just teasing. She rolled her eyes and finally took the teainfuser thing out of her mug, leaving it on the saucer. A blow on it and she took a sip.
Things have been really slow at the docks. We can't do much until the office is rebuilt and that is taking forever. He sat back in his chair and linked his fingers behind his head. We've been helping other establishments or just terrorizing people. He grinned.
Sounds fun. A snicker. That how you ended up drunk at three in the afternoon? She raised a brow, sipping from her cup. It was then put back on the saucer with a small clink and she lifted the chocolate to take a chomp.
I haven't been drunk for quite some time. He eyed her suspiciously. I told you that I don't even like getting drunk. What kind of accusation is that and where did you hear it?
Erin shrugged. Around. Though, I kinda hope you were drunk, otherwise you're a closeted exhibitionist. She was hiding that little smile behind her teacup, but it was there.
Slightly miffed, Sebastian wished Erin had just come out and asked him what happened instead of wringing information from him in this manner. He shrugged and quirked a sort of half-smile. It was truth or dare. Not like I had any choice.
I'm just teasing. Erin shook her head and rolled her eyes again. Gosh, you're quite soar about something you did voulentarilly. You think you could dance on the bar and walk away without a little jabbing? She snickered, taking another bite from her bread. Though, I do have to admit.. it wasn't really like you. She tilted her head a little to look him over You okay?
Sebastian sat there flabbergasted. Had he not smiled as she had? Who said anything about being sore about it? I...did..Erin. Trust me, there were many jabs and I took them quite well. It was fun. Wouldn't have accepted it if I had known half of my family was going to show up, but I was already starting. Sebastian leaned forward. I'm obviously fine...are you? Why all the interest in my dare?
I don't know... She shrugged a little, shuffling her feet on the floor. It just wasn't like you, is all. You're always saying you don't want to drink and you hate being here and stuff.. and then you show up drinking and playing games... it just.. was weird. Chew, munch, munch.
Ahh, so Erin was jealous. She really could have just come out and said that. I had a few lager's with Milo and Jent and then stopped by here when they had to go home. I grabbed one more lager for the road, since I don't keep it at home, and got distracted by the game. I joined and that was that, Erin. I sincerely apologize if my actually being social for once is weird, but isn't that what you've been wanting all along?
I didn't say I was upset. Erin shook her head, her eyebrows pinched together. I just said it was weird for you. Sebastian, what the hell is wrong with you? I teased you a little, and you asked my why I was harping on something. To get a laugh, that's why. Then you ask why I care at all.. and becuase it was unlike you. Sure, I'd like you to be more social,but I was just asking a simple question... stop jumping on everything I say like I'm attacking you. I was just trying to be f-ing light hearted for once and you went and stomped it to death. She put her teacup down with a bit of a clatter.
Then stop harping on the fact that I'm trying to loosen up.
I'm just teasing you about it. I tease people, that's what I do. You used to like it. You used to like most of the things I do, now you're just constantly annoyed at me. If you don't like me, please, come out and say it already and save us both a world of hurt.
You- Sebastian froze mid-sentence, shocked beyond all belief. Was Erin serious? The look on her face told Sebastian that she was and he wanted to go attack the porch again like he'd done a few months ago. Sebastian realized now that no matter what he said or did, Erin would never believe that he loved her. Every little argument had to be equated with their amount of love for each other these days, didn't it? Is that what you really want me to say, Erin? That I hate you? If I lie, will you believe that since you don't seem to want to believe the truth when I tell you every day that I love you?
Of course I believe it. I just don't know if you understand what you're saying. Erin sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, clenching her eyes shut. You say you do. You act like you do. And then you just... get mad and irrate and shut down everytime you see me. I don't understand it. Really... I thought it was me... but I talked to some people, and I thought about it and it's not. It's you. I infuriate you. You may love me with all your heart, but just admit that to yourself.. Just admit that you can't stand half the things I say or do. Or stop being angry about it all the time.
Fine. Sebastian got up, leaving his tea behind, and leaned across the table to give Erin a kiss on the cheek. Since it pleases you so, I'll get drunk more often and do stupid things. He was absolutely bloody serious. However, I have to get back to Dave now, so I'll see you at home.
What? That is not at all what I... where the hell are you going? She was wide eyed and opened mouthed and it took her a moment to stand up. What the hell does that have to do with anything?
You said not to get mad. So I won't get mad. Sebastian turned back to face her, confused out of his mind. I obviously jumped on your back just now for no reason. I'm sorry.
Erin shook her head, sticking her hands in her pockets. Whatever... it's okay. Go back to work. She was a little clipped.
Now what did I do? He sounded desperate. What do you want from me?
For you to actually sit and talk about something without putting words in my mouth I didn't say, or dismissing it at the end because you're tired of talking about it. She shook her head a little. It was really hard for me to get that all out, took me days to do even, and you just whiped it away with one sentence. You want there to be some magic fix or something, I don't know. Just.. know that I love you unconditionally no matter what you do. And I just hope you extend that same trust to me. Think about it... becuase sometimes I think you imagine stuff I do, or put words in my mouth.
He has no idea what Erin is even talking about anymore. He stood there, not caring that people were watching, gawking at Erin. I don't even think you're talking about the same thing as three minutes ago, love. Your talking about trust and whatnot now. I'd like for your to give me a specific instance when I haven't loved you unconditionally. Was it when I forgave you for willfully letting another man kiss you while we were married? When you questioned whether or not you were in love with someone else? Or is it while you, perhaps unknowingly, flirt with other men and I don't say a word, even though it hurts me, because I know it's just your personality? When people talk about you behind your back, like your "friends" do about me I might add, and I stick up for you NO MATTER WHAT? You're my wife. That means commitment where I come from. Sebastian knew better than to let this go much further because of Erin's probable inability to just take it like the argument it is
My friends don't say a word about you that isn't true. She shook her head a little, running a hand over her forehead. I stick up for you and stick up for you and tell them that you're just cranky and you dont' always treat me the way you do in front of them.. but I'm starting to wonder which one is the real you and which one is the lie. Because sometimes you have nothing but utter contempt for me. I was starting to believe it, too. That I was bad to you. That I'm bad in general, but I think about it now.. and I've done nothing wrong in months. I have been drinking less, and flirting less, and spending more and more time with Cassie than with men, even though I relate to men better... and you still walk in and say hello to PJ, but not a word to me. Or flip out when I try and tease you a little. I... I don't know what it is you want from me. Do you even know?
Sebastian's hands balled into fists and he hung his head in defeat. We'll never get past this, Erin. Gideon is right. You deserve so much better and I obviously can't make you happy. So, yes, I do know what I want. He looked up at her, anger and hurt so very much apparent. A divorce. Maybe someone else will make you happy. And with that, he turned and left.