Topic: Lullabye and Goodnight

Sebastian

Date: 2006-11-27 12:48 EST
?Yeah, thanks Dave. See you tomorrow.?

The bell on the door jam jingled as Bastian closed the door after exiting Dave?s office. That had gone a lot smoother than he imagined. Luckily, Dave understood the importance of keeping his employee?s marriage a secret and even said he?d give the boy more hours if he wanted. Sebastian was thrilled. He did have a family to support now; and that made him smile.

Dave was a decent fellow, no better than anyone else. He had a wife, three grown children and one little grandbaby. His hair was thinning and turning gray, the years of hard, back-breaking dock work were beginning to catch up with him, and looking after these young, strong men who worked for him made the older man want to scream at times. He remembered laughing at Sebastian when he first came asking for a job, but there was something about the boy that made Dave hire him. Sebastian had a will and drive that Dave hadn?t seen in a long time. Bastian also reminded Dave of himself at that age and perhaps that?s why he allowed Sebastian to bend the rules just a bit.

Sebastian waved to the crew as he headed for home, thanking God that Dave had allowed him to go home and sleep until he had to work again in the morning since his hours changed.

He weaved in and out of the street lamps, pausing in their light each time for no apparent reason. Then, after a moment, he?d step out of the light and saunter into the darkness only to stop again when he stepped into the light of the next lamp. Many things were going through the young man?s mind as he crept along the street.

He was an idiot. No, really?he is. How could he go from single to married in just a month? He didn?t think it would be possible for something so real; so right to happen so soon. But that was before he met Erin.

Erin was his everything. She made him a better person. There wasn?t anything he wouldn?t do for her. He loved her.

Everything was going to be just fine. Their marriage would work. It would. Or, at least that?s what he kept telling himself. It?s called positive thinking, folks!

Before he knew it, Sebastian found himself in front of the large house with the ?friendly? (nay, possessed) gargoyles. He stopped at the gate and just looked at the grand manor. Moonlight spilled over the roof and onto the pavement just before the porch, giving the rest of the house a rather eerie glow. He was suddenlt hit with a revelation. This was his house. No...their house. How amazing was that? He had everything that could ever matter in life: A beautiful wife whom he loved more than anything.

He crept silently into the house, up the stairs and into their bedroom. He paused in the doorway, watching Erin sleep. He thought she looked so beautiful; all curled up beneath the blankets, cheeks slightly flushed, hair in disarray, and?.cuddling his pillow. Oh, now that was cute.

Since she was asleep, Sebastian quickly undressed beside the bed and got into his pajamas and then crawled into bed with his wife. She didn?t even stir when he ran a hand gently down from her shoulder to her elbow, over onto her waist and around her tummy so he could turn her over. Very carefully, Sebastian drew his pillow from her grasp and cradled Erin against him so that her head was on his chest. Once he was situated and had his own pillow back, he let go of Erin momentarily to slip his wedding ring on his finger. There. Now he was ready to sleep. Tucking his arms back around Erin, he brushed a kiss across her forehead and drifted off to sleep.

Erinalle Dunbridge

Date: 2006-11-28 06:01 EST
After midnight, the light plays tricks. It flitters across things, transforming them into a million different images. First a chair becomes a horse, or a couch a dragon... Erin sat in the night, watching the light. How it danced over the furniture, made patterns on her floor, how it changed as the night wore on. Insomnia gave one a new perspective. A way to understand how things were different at night. How they were magical.

She heard Bastian struggle with the key in the door as usual. The turning and clanking for a few minutes before she could hear the door squeak open, relieving itself of the tension of being pushed. His footfalls were soft and uneven. He was stopping here and there as he made his way to the room. He appeared as a shadow, stretching out across the room like a hand reaching out for her. It caught the breath in her throat, it made her shake.

Erin knew that if she didn't pretend to be asleep, he'd be worried. Her lack of sleep and nightmares terrified him. They drove him a little further away each time. She'd gotten rather adept at hiding them. Trained herself not to scream, not to claw at him. But it was hard to lay still all night. Sure, his arms around her were safe and wonderful and of course she loved having him there when she was so scared; it was just a lot of work to keep from scaring him too much.

The light was enough to see, just barely, and Erin peaked as he undressed. The way the moonlight fell on his body was intoxicating. He was getting more defined from the work, and the light highlighted it. Made him shine. It was true she wanted him, wanted to taste his skin and make him gasp for air... but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the return. She knew he wasn't. Being married hadn't made them ready for sex. Not yet. But in the night, as he pulled off his shirt, Erin didn't much care.

And that is why her cheeks were flushed when he finally repositioned her. His touch electric on her now. She didn't dare move, didn't dare breath. When he placed her against his chest she breathed him in. That rustic smell of sweat and cigarettes(like he'd really quit!). She snuggled in, her cheek against his bare flesh. It was quite wonderful there.

Only then did she let herself think about what they had done. It scared her. Terrified her. Paralyzed her. But he was so soft, and so comfortable. Erin didn't doubt for a moment that Bastian loved her. He did. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch. She enthralled him; she knew that. She was just scared that they had rushed things. From taking it slow to married in a month. He would change, she knew. Not into some dictator of a husband, no, but he would begin to think of things as his. It would happen slowly... and then one day she would be his, but he would not be hers. And that was when it was over.

What she hadn't banked on was how it would change her. Erin felt more worried, more nervous. If he died or was hurt or left her now... what would it say about her? She squeezed him in the night, clinging to him for dear life. Bastian was her last chance at love, that was clear. And she wasn't sure how it would turn out. How they would turn out. She wasn't positive, but couldn't bear to be negative.

So Erin sat there in the night, the light falling over her, painting her a pale blue. And she prayed. Silent words to her silent God. She prayed that this would stay good. She prayed that he would always love her. And she prayed she wouldn't ruin this, too, as she had ruined everything else in her life.

Sebastian

Date: 2006-11-28 17:33 EST
Sebastian wasn't oblivious to Erin's sudden nighttime change. He knew it was impossible for her dreams to have ceased that quickly. While she had trained herself not to scream, Sebastian had learned to awaken at the slightest movement from the other side of the bed. He remembered the nights of her terror filled cries; with her thrashing about on the bed, screaming with tears running down her face. He remembered the one night he hadn't gotten out of her way when she started clawing at the darkness and managed to gouge 3-4 inch long marks along his back with her nails before he could get the light on.

And then...it just stopped; the screaming and fits, that is. Now, what he awakened to was Erin in cold sweats, wringing the bedsheets with her hands, brows furrowed in her sleep. If her dreams managed to rouse her, she'd quietly go in the bathroom or simply lay in the darkness and think he didn't know. But he did. He did know...he just didn't know how to help, so he just held her. He knew that was what she wanted...at least he hoped so. He was more worried now that she was trying to hide them from him than he was before.

He had his own nightmares...but those are to remain untold.

Luckily, tonight he had a very rare, dreamless sleep. The alarm went off at 7am and Bastian awoke with a start. The first thing he noticed was that his left arm was tingling with pins and needles. That happened alot when Erin slept on it. He didn't dare move it for fear of waking her. Slowly, he reached for the clock with his right hand and shut it off.

His eyes were still closed, but it's amazing how much you can tell with your other senses. There was Erin, of course; with her hair splayed out across his shoulder and part of his chest, her warm cheek glued to his upper arm, and one of her legs stretched out over his lower body. There was the sun; he could feel it streaming in through the window by the bed, hitting his face and warming his skin. He could also tell that it wasn't frosty cold outside because the birds were singing.

Finally, one eye peeked open. Then another. He was staring at the white ceiling. Head tipped to the side so he could look at his beautiful wife, blue eyes grazing slowly over her features, counting the freckles that were peppered here and there across her face. His free hand came up to gently stroke the soft skin of her cheek, trace the shape of her ear, down her jawline and then to her lips.

Oh hell he couldn't take it anymore! He shifted, inevitably waking her, but he had to kiss her right then or he'd explode. His lips captured hers softly at first, just reveling in their sweet taste and then became more urgent; needy. Technically, they hadn't made out in a while, but that might be dangerous, what with them being in bed and all. So, reluctantly, he pulled back and whispered softly, "'Morning Beautiful."

What a way to wake up!

Erinalle Dunbridge

Date: 2006-11-29 02:25 EST
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
Take off your shoes take off my dress
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
This too shall pass this too shall pass

Erin returned the kiss, waking up with a smile. Her arms snaked around his neck, pulling herself as close as she could. "Stay awhile," she muttered into his neck, pressing a kiss there in a trail that led to his collar bone. "please.." It was a desperate whisper, a plead. Hands moving to run through his hair.


But tell me, what have I done to deserve you?
Must have done something cause that's how it works
Must have been kind to kittens and birds,
In a previous life must have thought happy thoughts...

"God, I love you.." More desperate whispers as her hands ran down his sides, barely touching, grazing fingertips aimed at causing him to shiver, to shudder. She wanted her touch to move him, to drive him crazy. She wanted to make him feel what she was feeling when he woke her. She had no idea how she had gotten here... so enthralled, so entrapped, so in love.

'cause there, you were there right beside me
Then somehow inside me while inside myself
Books on the shelf thoughts on the shelf
Hands to myself, i should definitely keep my hands to myself

Erin had never felt closer to anyone in her entire life. Had never trusted anyone so much. He was warm and strong.. he held her and cooed to her, he stayed with her despite her infertility, her unpredictability, her everything. He had become a part of her. She wanted to feel that closeness.. to have them actually become one. Hands moved to his back, nails lightly scratching as she deepened the light kisses she was placing on his lips. "Just a little while?" A gruff whisper as she came up for air.

Love is a dangerous pastime
Caught between madness and gladness of flight
Nothing is wrong and nothing is right
Falling asleep in your arms every night

This *was* dangerous. Perilous. What happened to taking things slow? Careful? The right way? Nothing felt as right as this moment. Being this close, feeling his bare skin against her bare shoulders. The nightgown slid against her body, making her moan a little, silk on hypersensitive skin.


But Love's such a strange situation
Full of frustration and anger and fear
Everything's tears
Nobody hears
Nobody's here, and nobody hears...


Despite it all, Erin was still scared. Scared she wouldn't want it when it was time. That she would turn him off forever. That he'd leave her when he saw how damaged she'd really become. But she couldn't stop herself.. couldn't start either... a tear fell, just one. It was pressed against his cheek as she pressed her head to his. "I want this.. but I'm terrified of it."


I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
Take off your shoes take off my dress
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
This too shall pass, this too shall pass...


((lyrics by Regina Spektor))

Sebastian

Date: 2006-11-29 18:04 EST
She knew he had to work and yet she asked him to stay, knowing that if she asked, he would. Though, it?s not like Sebastian really cared. Erin was worth throwing caution to the wind?in more area?s than just being late for work.

He didn?t answer her, however; simply enjoying the feel of her soft lips as they blazed a trail across his skin. One hand cupped the back of her neck and the other slid around her waist, fingers splayed out over her silk covered lower back. He pulled her as close as possible before dipping his head to brush a kiss to her ear. ?I love you, too,? he whispered softly.

He wasn?t entirely sure what sort of reaction she was hoping to incite by touching him in such a way, but it certainly induced a number of breathy moans and gasps. She was driving him crazy, turning him on, and practically begging to be touched in a like fashion. Who was he to resist? The fingers on her lower back pressed firmly for a moment, nearly forcing a collision of their lower halves before allowing his hand to shift its position and cup her bottom. He didn?t know what he was doing?not in the least. This was hot, titillating, and thrilling?but embarrassing and awkward all at the same time; in a good way, though.

His hand continued downwards after pausing on her rear ? that was too silly. Right then, anyways. He?d get up the courage to do it again later. Soon, he hoped. But he also didn?t want to push Erin to do something she wasn?t ready for. Hell, he wasn?t even sure he was ready for this. Now he had his broad hand high on her thigh (which was still draped over him, I might add) and gripped firmly. He didn?t know how he managed it, but he somehow lifted her, turning her fluidly so that her back was to the bed and he on top of her. Of course, one had to be comfy in such a position, so he rested an elbow by her shoulder and the other hand stayed quite contently on her thigh. His knee fell between her legs like it was supposed to and her hands came up around his waist. She needn?t worry, however; he didn?t have his full weight atop her just yet. Bastian felt faint. Ohh this was bad!

Slowly, Erin?s hands moved up his back, nails lightly scratching as she deepened the light kisses she had been placing on his lips all the while. ?Just a little while?? Her voice was a gruff whisper when they finally came up for air.

Sebastian smiled, succumbing to the incessant voice in his head, telling him that he should be doing certain things. His hips nestled against hers ? gently and lightly and non threateningly. She?d be able to see that he wasn?t going to do anything unless she bid him to do so. ?I think,? he whispered quietly, ?that I could stay a little while, I guess.? And then, very slowly, he settled the rest of his body down, careful not to crush her tiny frame and simply cuddled her. Now, with nothing but her flimsy, silky nightgown and his sleep shorts, they?d both be able to feel just how much the other was wanting this.

They were both scared. Scared out of their minds. Sebastian dealt with knowing that he?d be compared to other lovers and felt inadequate. He cradled Erin as she pressed her cheek to his and whispered in soft response. ?I know, love. I feel the same way?but we don?t have to rush this. It?ll happen when we?re ready.? He pulled away and brushed the tear streak away with his thumb. ?I love you, though, Erin. And no matter how much I want it too, I?d wait an eternity if it meant I could be with you.?

Erinalle Dunbridge

Date: 2006-11-30 00:23 EST
The only noise in the room after he spoke was the soft dripping of the faucet coming from the bathroom. Erin listened to it a long moment, relishing its consistency. Bastian's words were too touching to respond to. She just nodded, biting her bottom lip. Her eyes would say all he needed to hear.. that she appreciated it, that she loved him more than anything, that she felt so lucky right now.

Erin's hands snaked up, reaching for him, arms coming around his shoulders, pulling him back down. "Lay here a minute, though. I like how the weight feels on top of me." Eyes fell closed and she nuzzled into him, hands trailing small circles on his back.

Yes, this was perfection.