29-10-07
Keeping my thoughts on paper helps me not go batsh-t crazy as much. Been hard. We moved somewhere, just got on a train. JC don't like the place, I don't think, but I do. It's like somewhere all the f-cked up people go to be f-cked up in one place and not kill each other. Okay, so there seems to be lots of killing each other, but at least we don't stick out to bad.
JC finally agreed to get me a ring. Wasn't all romantic like. Can't lie, I wanted him to get down on one knee and all that, but I knew there wasn't any chance in hell he was gunna. Just needed to know he wasn't gunna up and leave me here. Part of me know he ain't ever gunna to that. It ain't like him, but I worry sometimes. See how he looks at me, like a ball and chain he just can't get rid of. More like an atom bomb that if he sets down she'll just explode.
But the sex has been better since the ring. I been happier. I know he can tell that it made me happy and he likes it. His step has seemed lighter, I think. Got my ass caught stealing from the local wateringhole we were staying at. Broke the bead upstairs too-- not sure if we were fightin or f-ckin, to be honest. Don't matter really, in the end. Making me work a few hours a week. Place is nuts. Loud as all gettup. And there was this fight that left blood everywhere and I thought I was gunna lose it again. But I had JC, and everything was okay.
I love that man more than my arms, and yet I want to put him straight through a window all the same. Gunna get us an apartment down by the river. Surprise him. We made enough at the jewelers that we can. I reckon it's about time we put down some roots, for awhile at least. I don't wanna run no more. I want a family, even if it's just us two. It'll always just be us two. But it's family.
Keeping my thoughts on paper helps me not go batsh-t crazy as much. Been hard. We moved somewhere, just got on a train. JC don't like the place, I don't think, but I do. It's like somewhere all the f-cked up people go to be f-cked up in one place and not kill each other. Okay, so there seems to be lots of killing each other, but at least we don't stick out to bad.
JC finally agreed to get me a ring. Wasn't all romantic like. Can't lie, I wanted him to get down on one knee and all that, but I knew there wasn't any chance in hell he was gunna. Just needed to know he wasn't gunna up and leave me here. Part of me know he ain't ever gunna to that. It ain't like him, but I worry sometimes. See how he looks at me, like a ball and chain he just can't get rid of. More like an atom bomb that if he sets down she'll just explode.
But the sex has been better since the ring. I been happier. I know he can tell that it made me happy and he likes it. His step has seemed lighter, I think. Got my ass caught stealing from the local wateringhole we were staying at. Broke the bead upstairs too-- not sure if we were fightin or f-ckin, to be honest. Don't matter really, in the end. Making me work a few hours a week. Place is nuts. Loud as all gettup. And there was this fight that left blood everywhere and I thought I was gunna lose it again. But I had JC, and everything was okay.
I love that man more than my arms, and yet I want to put him straight through a window all the same. Gunna get us an apartment down by the river. Surprise him. We made enough at the jewelers that we can. I reckon it's about time we put down some roots, for awhile at least. I don't wanna run no more. I want a family, even if it's just us two. It'll always just be us two. But it's family.