On Aoife
The first night we met was a curious one for me. I was still a newcomer to the city, standing behind the bar and serving drinks. We didn?t say so much as hello and I prepared her drink. Chai tea.
The next night it was the same thing, and so it was the night after that. It continued like this for a few evenings, and then I asked her what her name was. She seemed reluctant at first, but perhaps it was my excitement that coaxed it from her. I learned her name, then, and it?s one that I feel conflicted about every time I hear it.
Her name is Aoife.
Aoife and I never spoke much; maybe that was the main problem. I first started spending time with her during the Beltane. Even then, when I would spend those few hours with her for three nights in a row, we didn?t discuss much. When we did talk, it was mostly nonsensical debates; I wished I could have said something else, something better.
After that, I saw her at the inn more. It was just like Beltane, a few hours of pointless discussion with random moments of silent staring thrown in the mix. I wasn?t getting anywhere, wasn?t? learning anything about her, but I enjoyed her company nonetheless. She was odd, curious, and mysterious. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, she seemed so very out of place.
Oh, this continued for several weeks. Then she met a man. A man who?s done bad things, terrible things. She got involved in a case that nearly drove me into a fit of frustrated depression; she ignored my pleas and warnings, and unwittingly, crushed my hopes without hesitation. Aoife is stubborn, if nothing else, and she refused to listen to a word I said.
For a while, we didn?t see much of each other. I couldn?t face her, I don?t know why. Judah, that bastard, tried to convince me that everything was my fault.
He really needs to learn how to stay dead.
But Aoife, I don?t know what I think of her anymore. At first I was curious, then I was infatuated, there may have been a brief point of love, but that was more likely wishful thinking, another dreaming attempt at bringing my old, happier life back.
But now, I know none of that is going to happen. It was just the wistful daydreams of a hopeless man. I?ve always known that since Danica passed, I would never find another.
It?s hard not to see her and think of it, though. They really are a lot alike.
Perhaps this is why when I see her, despite everything that?s happened, I smile.
Though I?m not sure if it?s real or fake.