Here's the thing, there?s moments in your life that make you. That set the coarse of who your gonna be. Sometimes there little subtle moments, sometimes there not. I?ll show you what I mean ...


" So again from the top Jennifer.. name for me the types of elemental magic, in order of power.." Magic of that kind wasnt Cadaria's strong suit. She knew the rules and regs set down by the Magic Teachers of Rhydin though. She kenw fo their Acdemy well. She had massive book on magic.Jennifer had the same book, with nots written int he amrgins on the table before them. She was a sweet girl, about 15 long sand colored hair and tawny eyes. She was not the head of her class, but at least not falling behind any longer.

She had skill, but needed more work on her skills.. more than Cadaria could give, all shecould do was help ehr recall all the right wordings, and lists. WHich was half the battle.Cadaria knew that Mr. Edmund was her wizardry teacher, he be here within the hour to test Jennifer on the subject matter and continue her training.

......

She left Jennifer in more capable hands at 9:30 and walked down along the lane of pretty houses. This was a nicer neighborhood of Rhydin. Cadaria wasnt picky with her students,nor what they could pay. Most were teenagers, and her rates were rather low. But out of them all oddly enough Jennifers parents paid the most.. even though Cadaria wasnt a magican,mage, or sorceress.

Walking along looking at all the ncie hosues she began to wonder what growing up here would have been like. But the idea faded from ehr mind as she roudned the corner and ehaded towards her next clients house.

These little moments make up my day. Maybe by teaching magic at least some what, I will learn more about it myself. I can see magic more now, in nature.And here its everywhere.. Sure its not a huge moment... but the smallets thing can change your world...I know that first hand...

Home is where your heart is... But what if your heart is broken..?

As she walked from Ben's house to her last client of the day the sun had begun to warm the streets. It was almost 11 now. And her last client lived in the marketplace, above a small shope where his mother worked. It always amazed Cadaria how people could work and live so well in Rhdyina city of so many dangers..But the place was full of families.Which turned out good for her.

But how did they all do it.How did they find love and keep it?Or how did they keep on goign when they lost it? Shed been walking around witha doom and gloom feeling about love,dating and the world of romance in general for a good soild decade now.

Rhydin was her home, where she had chsoen to stay. But her heart.. her heart wasnt with her. She loved ehr workriends, and a few places here and there.. but that was different..

She wold love to feel that feeling again. Loved,even protected. That nice warm feeling like Ben's house had.

She arrived at her last clients house and went inside and upstairs to stat the lesson. Kailee lived here and she was a fae.She was about 100 years old for a fae, stilla youth by all those terms as far as Cadaria knew. And she was her art student.

The hour flew by and Cadaria always had the most fun. Even when covered with paint by the end..

But you have to be strong..Even witha broken heart...

Bottom line is even if you see them coming, your not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change not really, But it does

The days bled together. As they often do. She went to her jobs both of them, tutor and wellw hat ever Drake needed her to be. She had filled her jack of all trades skills to the brim. By the end of her first week. She felt like she was being tugged from two ends. Her students would soon not have need of her with the winter holidays coming. And Drakes manor would be in tip top shape before the snows fell.

Would he fnd his lost friend by then? Could he handle any more of this torment?

I know too well what its like to give everything for someone you care for.... I remember...

The pain, the loss, the love, everything...

And now I feel so helpless. So what are we helpless? Puppets? Naw the big moments are gonna come you can't help that. It?s what you do afterwards that counts, that?s when you find out who you really are. You?ll see what I mean.

It was more than a dream, more than just a memory. It had been her life. Long ago. One could not forget,it was impossible. Once a long time ago shed been human. Mortal. Now she was something else. No longer an angel, no she'd fallen from grace over a century ago. It would have seemed like a long time if she could piece it all together. But her life before she been in heaven she couldn't put together. Not who she was or how she died.


But how shed fallen she knew that all too well it played out for her in her dreams, and waking nightmares.

When she first became an angel they told her the rules. The ones that could never be broken. You could never lose your faith, nor start to believe in something else any other God. You had things you had to do, no cushy afterlife here. She had been given a job to do. Guardian angel. To protect and serve one soul, one person till the day they were set to die. Not that anything was ever truly set, people defied death all the time. But death usually won out over time. And that was all mortals had was time. Limited time as it was. Immortals didn't get guardian angels, they didn't need them they lived forever.

Her charge. Was just a girl. She was young, very young when shed been charged to Cadaria. Barely five. Her hair was the color of toasted wheat. Her eyes the palest blue. She lived in a dangerous city surrounded by demons and darkness. It sounded like Rhydin to Cadaria now when she thought about it but it wasn't Rhydin it was some where else some where she couldn't really recall. Demons were real, they always didn't have horns or leathery wings. Sometimes they were as human and normal as anyone else.


The girls parents were working people who often left their daughter in the hands of others. Family, friends, caretakers. Cadaria figured this job would be easy. What possible trouble could a five year old get in to?


Leila. That was her name. And she was full of life and energy, and she loved to take adventures.


And for the first few years nothing happened. Cuts and bruises, little and big falls. The usual for youth and growing up.

So Cadaria watched always near by for when the girl now older now a teenager might need her. She watched as she got broken hearts, and went through her young years. She grew in to a lovely young woman and faced down death when her parents died in a plane crash. She was alone then for a long time.


Cadaria wanted to step in to help her more than she was allowed. And she almost did. But heaven didn't offer second chances. How funny.

That was when Cadaria made her first mistake, she started to believe in something else, rather that just the one God. Leila was now twenty. And off at college. More broken hearts, more struggles. But her life seemed danger free. A few close calls but Cadaria had always stepped in. A trip down a flight of stairs, nothing too major.



Then she got the call. It wasn't like someone ringing her up on a phone it was more of a sense. Her charge was destine to die, soon. Sooner than Cadaria thought fair. Leila had finally found someone to love that loved her back. She had a good job and a home of her own. And was looking forward to her life with the man she loved, and maybe a family too.



It didn't seem fair that she would die so suddenly in a car crash in a weeks time. Cadaria had broken two rules already, her faith was failing, and she started to believe in something else. Something more. Now she was about to break the most dangerous rule to break. She was going to save her charge who was destine to die. She was going to go against death, and change the coarse of history.


It was the right thing to do in the end. She knew that now.


Cadaria recalled saving Leila, and her then boyfriend from the flames. She knew they both lived that night, that death had lingered there sure of himself. But then faded when they were alive and well. She also recalled being called up. There was no grand meeting, no 'you get another chance.' Nothing. One moment basking in the peace and calm that was the afterlife then being cast out, cast down to the mortal plain. The pain was something she could never forget.


Waking up in an alley way in a place she didn't know. Feeling like she was on fire. Laying there for days, weeks her lovely white wings molted disappeared then regrew , In the color of ink. It was pain, shear pain. Like being ripped apart and glued back together with flames. Her body felt broken in so many places. Like shed been hit by lightining, set on fire then beaten near death. She was surely nothing to look at them.

But she found after a month she could heal herself and move more freely again. Shed been cast out and forgotten. But she still had all the skills of an angel. The healing powers the holy magic. And somehow in her heart she knew Leila was alive.


A full century after shed been cast out she'd grown used to this new place. Rhydin. Sure shed gone many places, seen the old world and the new. But Rhydin became her home, her past faded with the passing years. But she never forgot her charge or why she had fallen. Leila was dead now, ash .. but Cadaria often hoped that perhaps shed gotten married and had children. Yes she hoped that very much.


Now her world was a different place. She wasnt mortal,but she lived amoung many mortals here. There were also immortals, demons,vampires , dragons and other things too. All which she got used to over time. She never changed, her face reamined young as she had been when she died,her hair dark like ink. Her eyes vibrant and green. Her body fluid, strong, powerful. Her wings forever black. She was old, but it didn't show, and never would.


She got a job, earned money. Got a place of her own the place she still lived. The RoseVine Apartments. On the East side of Rhydin. She lived on the top level, in D 2. There were two large studio apartments up there. D 1 had then and still belong to Vance Malloy, a vampire. The first landlord had died, giving the place to his son. Mr. Gilbert as Cadaria knew him. The RoseVine had been in their family for many years, father to son, and so on. And most of the people who rented from him were not mortal. Cadaria knew of only six mortals in the whole building.

It was a gift being able to tell who was what. Made it easier for her to find work. At first many people shied away from her. This pretty girl couldn't possibly have anything to give. But over time she proved them wrong and now had a strong client list and was often refereed to others from those very clients.

She knew after a solid century that shed never be called back. She was set to live here. Though immortal she knew she could be easily killed by the changing times, weapons and people changed. But she could defend herself and she learned to be wary with her trust. She'd tried to date, but it never ended well. Mortals noticed too much, like the fact that she didn't age. Or maybe that she had large black wings, that freaked them out. The mortal coil in Rhydin was few and far between. Immortals and others who lived longer lives knew what she was, they could tell they had that seventh sense. Many avoided her. So she didn't date, it seemed pointless. Many saw her as a pretty face, a woman with a nice body. But she was fierce, and loyal to a fault, and powerful. That was always a huge deal. A woman with power.


Waking from the dream of the pain was always the same. She shot up from bed and gasped for air. Thankfully the walls and floor were thick for her scream couldn't be held back. In the dark she regained herself.The room was dark, she was alone.

It was early again, long before she had to be awake. But then she had a new job to get to.

What would you give your life for?

Knock knock.
She rolled over in her sleep. "Go away..."
Knock, knock, knock. This time harder more effort put behind the knocks.

She eyed the time. Two am.

"Cadaria..!" Knock... "Open up...!" She shot up in bed she knew that voice. She looked to he door.The window. There was no way out.No fast enough way. "I could let myself in you know.. I don't need an invite."

She rose from the bed and padded to the door. So fate had stepped in. Had the heavens heard her and come to claim her? Theyd sent their best..She opened the door. A tall man stood there. Dressed in dark pants, a button down shirt and he was barefoot. His eyes were almost silver, his hair ashy black. His face was handsom, any mortal or immortal culd see that. He was of coarse an angel. "Dominic..."

"Cad.."He smiled at her. "Going to let me in?" She shook her head. She had no weapons on her, she was wearing her black silky pjs,and was barefoot. She had to grin inwardly at the very sight of them. Him so light, even with dark pants the eprfect angel... and and her all dark.. fitting. She mused.

He could likely force his way in, he had more power than she did. But she had protected her home from invaders, mortal,immortal and otherwise. "You cant come in.. what do you want Dom?" He always had called her Cad... she hated it. Dom fitted him so weel so dark and light..She stepped out closed her door and faced him her back to the wall and high windows.

"Fine we can talk out here... right in the view of the public." She eyed the empty hall way. "Just you and me, and a closed door.."Looking to Vances door. He shrugged and then reached his hand out as if he was going to touch her soulder and she went flying in to that wall shattering a few windows above.Those shards came down aaround her shreding her pjs.Tearing at her flesh leaving long red wounds on ehr shoudlers,arms,and back. She growled at him, and threw up a shed just in time to not be caught in nothing around an angel she hated. Her hands got sliced up though like her favorite pjs. "Dont suppose you came to talk... or that you'll pay for these.."Eyeing her night wear.

"Just you and me here Cad..." He looked at her bloody, in shreaded clothing. "You used to be more on your toes, being around humans has made you soft. "He eyed her. "Though I like the look... "

She lowered her shield and with a flick of her wrist tossed her own power at him. He iched back along the hallway carpet but it didnt hurt him much. Burned his shirt a little,likely just pissed him off.

He eyed her. " I am here for one reason..." "To piss me off? Get me thrown out?...No i know to strip me down and try to have you way with me... again..." He chuckled, "I could have had you once, I could have you now.. but your no longer interesting to me in that way Cad... You wont get thrown out of this little place.. and your sexy when your mad... I came here for something you have."

"I have nothing the angels didnt take..already." He walked closer. " One thing..." He eyed her closed apartment door. "Its in there, I can sense it.. bring it to me... by midnight tomorrow.. or.. I will hurt everyone youve ever met, your students, your neighbors, your little vampire intrest...all of them will die in holy fire..."He smirked and disappeared.

She took a few deep breaths.And looked down at her hands,bloody deeply cut.Her clothes shreaded, no ways he was sleeping now, her body ached as it healed the cuts on her back and shoulders. Now more than ever before she felt like she needed a stiff drink.

So I blew off the date. I don't like that I hurt Vances feelings.But its better in the long run, or short run.Or just period.


I gave hima lame excuse .that I wasnt really ready to date.That I was just rushing things. He seemed to understand but he was hurt I am no fool I know that much.


She glanced to the dim light of the lamp beside her. Its not a bad place to stay, but with all these assassins likely after me who knows how long I will be here. Drake had to go and wear the damn necklace. Its lieka target around his neck. One that should be around mine and not his. Hes very noble to risk his life for me.Someone he doesnt even know. Hes running him self raw thoughe till he was well again. That may be awhile. Hell i should just move in, till all is said and done.

But being around him,all the time.His house, his things.His very essence. I am so screwed.

I like him more than i should and that makes no sense. I hardly know him. I know hes loyal and very kind. Hed do anything for his friends. Hes handsome.. and dashing...

the pen made little dots along the page and scroled ian little loop. As she did a little day dreaming.

I have day dreamed about him a lot. And had a few dreams with him in them. I am sure to see him in my head as the hero who saved me from Dominic. I fear for his safety, in this war with the angels. And it will be war. He has so much to do already... and I feel so useless. I can fight, but the angels they are so much stronger than me. And Dominic was right,I've lost my edge. My magic is no where near where it should be.

I have spent so much time here, it seems I have gotten used to a normal, mortalish life.

She sighed and doodled a little int he edges, Drakes name was written there, as well as a little sktech of him when hed faced dwon Dom.. so fierce.. yet she hadnt been fearful of him.

She sighed again and closed her notebook that served as her journal.

I have not written, for I do not know what to say.

I ahve eben busy, and that keeps my mind from wandering too much. Icer seems to be healing well. Her recovery is likely not as fast as her mate or mtoehr would like. I have gotten to know Moon better than Aurthur. But I have seen how devoted he is to Icer.

I have never felt that kind of love. But dragons here at least for these two, they mate for life. Or so I have read.
I continue to avoid going back to my old apartment.Fearing what I will find there. Will Luca merely wait there for me knowing I will not go long with out the few things I have left behind. Drakes manor has everything one could wish.. but still I miss my elven lyre, given to me by my first elven friend.. and my lap harp also a gift from one of my frist friends here in Rhydin though she is now gone. My elven friend.. I ahve not seen nor heard from in a decade.. though he could still be alive.

Then there is that coffee mug, made by dear Jen, a very artistic one, that I used to keep pencils in. All locked away hopefylly out of any angels reach.

The manor is welcoming, but it doesnt feel yet like home. I feel as if I am taking up Drakes space. Though I do love his music room and his wide array of books. I spend my time off now in my room, doing a light work out and strech.

I spend more of my time greeting gusts, cleaing and caring for dragons.. all of which I am glad for. It keeps my mind away from thinking about Drake. From wishing I could say something to him..

It is late and I should sleep.. but my mind can not find any rest.

Its needed:

The bumps the bursies, the reminder that I am not ready. Not ready to face Luca. Training, honing my skills. Of which I have none. Its folly. I am going to get Drake killed.

I cant give up I know.I will stand and fight.. and die if I have to. I will give them the only thing they want, to save him.

Every day I will learn more, every day I iwll become stronger. I can not fail. There will be no running, no hidding no escape. I must face it.

When it sover, done with. If I survive.. if we survive.. I'll find more coruage than it will take to face Luca.. and I will tell him... I will find a way.

But for now its needed. My silence... to hone my skills. To be ready.

It seems some time since I felt the need to write anything. It used to be something I did every day, just to log the events of the day down. Tiny little things even.

The etachings of my students, whom none I ahve seen in some time. I have not been in Rhydin in months now. Witht he abttles done and the war have been waged. I have not even thought about the lost city of Rhydin.

The battles are done here.The land and people healed. Drake and I are to be married. And that seems like a dream.


I have come to love this place,not just Nosgoth, but all of the allied lands.The poeple who I have met, who are like family to me.

My family.. my parents.

The vision of them came as a shock, the sight of them before me,was an even greater one. Knwoing my mother was mortala nd my father an angel.. was hard at first. But knowing all they went through,what Luca did to them both.Knowing that now at last they are happy and together.

I have not yet been able to tell Drake how much I love it here. How much these people mean to me now. That so many would fight and nearly die.. for the realm for their families and even for me...

Nor have I been able to tell him how I long to stay here.

I do not hate Rhydin. Though the city is lost.. and has always been and will always be. If I had nto fallen there so much of this would not be now.

I would go back and forth to teach to see what friends I have left there.I could teach here.. or in any of the lands.I could learn everything about these realms and teach younglings..I could tell them about other hsitory as well.

I know Rhydin holds his manor and his bisness and friends. I would never ask him to give any of those up.

I never thought I would be able to find love. It seemed as though was damned. Even before I fell, I was never like any of the angels around me,I cared more,I wanted more..

Now I have the love I never thought I could ever have.

In a few days Drake and I will be married.

I have yet to even go dress shopping. I am sure any time now one of the ladies will hurry me out the door. I know who I want in my wedding party and who I wish to marry us and walk me down the asile.


I want to find the perfect dress. I want to feel beautiful in it, and walk down the asile to Drake and see him look at me.. with awe and love.

I want to be bound to him heart and soul.

I want to lay in our marriage bed and make love. Deep passioante love. Our first night often plays in my mind,we have had others.. here and there.But none since the battle was annoucned and started..

none since it has been over.


I want to see that flare of desire in his eyes again, that wanting need of passion. To feel it.. to taste it. To feel his breath along my neck, the bite, the feeling of it all.


I can hardly wait. For any of it.. the wedding, the party before and after. Picking out dresses, and table settings, having my self prettied up for the man I love.

I have never been so happy.