Those steps were heavy. The truth, the play of the earlier hours was on rewind and repeat. Over and Over again. Driving her insane. The truth had come out. Human. A cursed and banished Sidhe who had been made ill... and now...just a plain, heartbroken human. She hated it. She for once in her life had been honest. Confessed her love for him...and he had ignored her...and walked away

What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Was one of a kind,
A precious pearl
When I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed

Gomennasai for everything
Gomennasai, I know I let you down
Gomennasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

That house seemed so empty without him. She packed the mediocre things she had collected over the time spent with him. It all seemed so meaningless without him. She realized then that what she had said...was the truth. She did love him. Those tears were ceaseless. Spilling over and falling. Why of all of them..of anyone could she not be honest with him? She hated herself...hated this so much. She hunched down to the only forgiving creature she knew, kissing the hound dog on the nose. "Good bye my friend. I'm sorry for all the things I've done." She left the keys on the table and walked out. No place to go...but where she was before...seedy rooms of dock claimed inns.

What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain

When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself
Gomennasai for everything
Gomennasai, I know I let you down
Gomennasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

She took that long walk to the bar she tended at, a shake of head at the questioning glance cast her way by her boss. He didn't question. A relief. Just tossed the keys to her old room her way. Still raining, she hated the rain. It felt like tears. Too much of a bitter memory of the events that just had passed. Why couldn't she just have been honest? So terrified, so nervous that just being normal... would lead him to stray.

And being dishonest just had screwed that all up anyways. Door opened and slammed shut behind her, searching out that hidden stash of liquor. She found then...she had no desire to drink.

Sinking down to the floor she buried her head in her hands and let it all out. Sobbing out all that anguish, all that surpressed emotion. She had only showed two emotions for so long now... jealousy and anger... and now...the rest of her was breaking. Shattering.

So alone...it was never meant to be this way...In one night... she'd lost everything and everyone she loved...

She couldn't blame him for hating her. She deserved it.

What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away
Gomennasai, for everything
Gomennasai, Gomennasai,
I never needed a friend,
Like I do now
Gomennasai, I let you down
Gomennasai, Gomennasai, Gomennasai,
Gomennasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

(Gomennasai- Tatu)

She had thrown herself into her work, long hours pulled without stopping. Continuous she worked and offered to take over shifts at the dock tavern just to keep her mind occupied. At all costs she avoided the Inn and the opportunity of running into Shane. She knew he didn?t want to see her, most likely hated her, probably was plotting her demise in his head. The thing was, Jacinta couldn?t blame him not one bit. She couldn?t blame him when she had destroyed everything just for her lack of honesty. It hadn?t been the first time. But she had learned? and this time it would certainly be the last.

When the double shift was pulled she was finally, literally ordered by Mack to go to bed. She was finally goaded enough and threatened to lose her job that she took his orders and went back to her room. She knew Mack had seen the difference, the change in spirit. Normally Jinx was moody and violent tempered, not one to take any sass from anyone. She was still a proper bar tender, laughing and joking when it came to the proper moments but Mack could tell she was just going through the emotions. Even something that normally would have had the Fox going off like a spitfire she just was found to grit her teeth, those ocean blue eyes were tempestuous storm clouds with rain.

Back in her room she changed into her night clothes and just slid to the floor, legs tucked beneath her as she leaned against the side of her bed. Staring at the empty sheets of paper piled on her lap before she exhaled slowly. The pen lifted and she began to write. A hidden passion, a deep secret she had told no one save for Sidonie. Sidonie was the musician, Jacinta the writer. Funny that Jacinta was becoming more and more like the distraught poet or soulful writer day by day. Maybe she had lost her shine. Lessons learned? it was a brutal price to pay.

The best place to begin is probably the beginning. I know I should have been honest, you would have thought with being raised in the family life I had and with my heritage I would know better. That lies ever were frowned upon. Maybe I just was the misfit that never learned a lesson. Defiant, I always knew words had power, that words could hurt, that words could kill but still I would lie. Just because I knew I could. I was free from the rules and regulations and that made me feel so powerful in a world that terrified me, made me feel so weak. Our father abused Sidonie and I, our mother turned a blind eye to it. Does this justify any of my actions? No of course not. Just like love cannot justify my actions. I am sorry for all that I have done. I don?t ask for your forgiveness or your understanding I just want to finally stop the lies? even if the truth would hurt? the lies I?ve realized are far worse.

My sister and I? my family actually, well? we?re not human. We?re Sidhe. Our father gave us up to the Shining Court. He managed to barter us in even though Sidonie was meant and intended for the Dark Court, funny that you would think that she?s so reluctant when it comes to her obligations as Lithaen Sidhe. She is kinda like the ideal of a muse, inspiring the talented but eventually her abilities would drive a man mad. I guess now I can understand her reluctance. She really does care. Far more then she reveals. Then again? we all were so very talented in hiding our emotions and feelings. But here I am avoiding the topic at hand. Me.

I became part of the court, fell into it with ease. Those that used to tease and mock me as I came of age? began to adore me because I had the eyes of the Summer King on me. Even when the ring called out the match of intended mates of Sidonie and Embry, I didn?t care. I wanted him for myself. So I did what I could? and I had him. He was mine. I didn?t care that it broke my sister?s heart, that it threw her into the darkest parts of her own spirit, or that my actions would eventually kill Embry. I was a jealous and envious child, perhaps now that I think on it I?ve begun to realize it?s made me a jealous and envious woman. I will work on changing that?

Upon my pairing with Embry I became a Summer Girl. In the Fair Court the Summer Girls are lovely, free spirited girls. The court has their way with them. I did not care because it meant that I was Embry?s. I don?t believe I truly saw through my jealousy and envy enough until now to realize that Sidonie loved Embry and that they were meant for each other. Perhaps the fact that the truth was on her tongue last evening and shattered my own relationship with you was Karma. Don?t judge her for the fact she cannot lie. If any she would always be the most unwilling to harm or hurt the spirit of another. It is not like her. I was always the bad sister. I am the cruel one, so selfish and heartless when it came down to it all.

As a Summer Girl I was the beauty and freedom and true joy. Like Summer in flesh, my powers developed and they started to call me Chance. Lady Luck. I had a skill with the cards? well I was just lucky in everything I did.

But evidently and as we all know sometimes your lucky streak runs out. It comes down to being greedy. And I?ve learned that when your luck runs out? you lose more then just your ability. You lose everything.

Exhausted the pen finally stopped. There was so much more to write. Not for forgiveness but for the fact that she could not hide any longer. It was time to be with the Truth again, no matter how much it destroyed her. She didn?t have enough words and her full story would never be told in those pages she wrote but it was a start. The four pages were stuffed into an envelope and tucked away in the mediocre desk in her room. Perhaps she?d never get to sending them. Maybe one day? one day she?d muster up the strength.

An exhale of breath, the candle blown out, it was the only warmth in the room the only smoldering burn in the night when everything around her felt like cinders and ashes. With nothing to remain?

Harvey noticed the next day that Shane was acting strangely. Normally, he was one to cheerfully interact with customers. To jest with the man, to flirt a little with the women. Lately, he'd asked if they needed help like they were a bother to him. It was hurting business. He told Shane to go home and not come back until his head was back on his shoulders properly.

How does someone really forgive another? If he stayed with her would there always be lurking in the back of his mind that what was fundamental could also be a lie? That to say it wouldn't happen again would never be a reassurance, just something he had to blindly believe?

His instinct was to do whatever he could to hurt her as much as she had him. Brandon was right, though. It was an empty thing to chase and chances were by the end of it he would be feeling ashamed of what he'd done as well as angry that he'd been wronged.

He needed to quit saying at his place, drinking by himself and wallowing in pity. He needed to put on his smile and get to work mingling and spending time in the company of others that would distract him. He just couldn't let himself think about this until it corroded his liver and heart into nothing.

The final letter. A day off despite her dispute the boss man could easily tell that Jinx was running herself ragged. Absorbed in the work. Sober and strained it was not like her but day by day, Jinx was recovering. This was the image she would present to the world. She'd been up for five hours straight staring at the blank sheet of paper. Eh to hell with it.

I know what I must do. There has to be a source. A reason. An answer I haven't found. I suffered for a long time with that illness and maybe the illness has spread but changed into an illness of spirit. Tainting my soul with the lies I have woven. You I cannot blame for not trusting me. One truth I hold is that of Love for you. I know ... it seems ridiculous, something forged of disbelief.

I have broken many rules of my people but the soul of the Fae still lingers in this human heart and cage of flesh. I have loved and lost and been loved in return and I threw it all away.

I can only hope that my actions would not make me lose that love forever. I need to know why there are those that you can bind and choose, what made them better and right. More meant for you. I aim to become the woman better meant for you. The woman you deserve, the woman I was meant to be for you. The woman I should have been for you.

Give the hound a kiss for me. The one thing I have learned throughout this all Shane Michael, is that I will ever love you. I have also learned that we all make mistakes, that we do things that we are not proud of. Things we are shamed by.

I am no longer ashamed by my actions but there is regret. I can only hope that my truth will not destroy but instead might bring understanding. That it will give you insight into all that is me. I am healthy, I am human, and I love...

The only thing left to do is to head to the source of your own shame, for me to transcend and learn... from your mistakes.

The bags were packed again. Leaving again but this time there was a rhyme and reason. Returning to that which she loathed and feared. The risk of a beating hand, the risk of broken bones, the risk of death to step back on the lands she was forbidden to tread.

She would ask for time off, she didn't think there'd be a dispute. That letter folded in the envelope. It would only be a matter of time before... she'd have to ask for the letters to be delivered and then face the things and places she most feared

Meeting Avery had been evidently enough. She had left her bag at his place after meeting up with him. The long talk that maybe she needed to talk to Shane or Jacinta and try to help it along. How much more damage could be done really? Picking up the pieces but the world still looked at her like the one to blame. Never one to find accusations she let the world think what they would of her. It'd be easy enough to just act like none of it mattered. Facing the High Courts was one thing, the biting impressions of clucking hens and gossip mongers another. Far less painful.

There was much to think on. Thinking came easier when fingers could sweep along ivory and ebony keys. A song that worked well for her spirit. Felt like home to her and all that had gone on. Song that reminded her of her sister, of Shane, of Avery.

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

Her voice was quiet and serne, not the usual upbeat and impulsively flirtacious as she sang, those fingers moving along the piano keys as she mulled over her thoughts. Judgements and Accusations but it all came down to pots and kettles talking about how much darker their shade of black was. Black as a Spade was Sidonie but there was a reality involved. A knowledge that Sidonie and Jacinta loved in their own ways. Jacinta had screwed up but who hadn't screwed up in their life? Spade knew her sister well enough to know that the Fox truly loved Shane. Fingers moving along keys her mind moved a mile a minute. Love. A close of eyes. Such a Fragile Eternity love was. Wicked and Lovely that emotion. Sidonie couldn't keep her thoughts free of Avery. Not that it was such a horrible thing. That voice that sang the familiar song was touched with a tinge of uncertain yearning.

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

A bow of head as she sighed quietly, fingers drawn away from piano keys as they shoved in pockets and she headed downstairs, out of Cloud Nine. A door locked behind her and she headed to the tavern where Jacinta worked. Still those lyrics were spiraling in her head and she sang to herself to keep herself company in the shadow of uncertainty.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe

A grin flashed to the bar owner as she was moving up stairs again, tentative knock on Jinx's door.

"Oh Breathe, just breathe."

A whisper of reassurance to herself. Terrified of facing her past. Terrified that facing it meant becoming what she feared the most. What kept her holding Avery an arm's length from her heart. The Fear it'd be another boy she loved just dying or being lost to her. All her undoing. She couldn't risk her gift being his destruction. She wouldn't let him be driven to madness.

Twisting the knobt she stepped inside, hugging her own waist as she sighed and looked down to her sister. The words that spilled from her sister's lips near had Sidonie's knees going out from beneath her.

Words of returning home. To continue to set things right. To find answers.

Sidonie was to be the Messenger. Again. She could only pray he didn't decide to kill her.

Like a thief in the night, she was out in shadows. Dark as Spade stained by the sins of the past.

(Anna Nalick- Just Breathe)

The days were spent with work and Brandon. If he wasn't at Harvey's tailor shop in the marketplace, he was at home, adjusting his interviews for the Enabler so that they read better. Finally, if he wasn't there, he was at the inn, joking around with Brandon to pass the time and keep things off his mind. Brandon was good for him, mostly because he didn't let him dwell. Shane could have easily wallowed to death in a pool of self pity no one would have seen until his tombstone popped up one day.

Today was the end of one of his days. Gauge was inside and pacing along the hard wood floors with his tongue out. He gave short barks of disapproval at noises he was suspicious of. Shane was so use to Gauge's little huffs that they no longer stirred him from sleep. A knock on the door, however, was an entirely different creature. Gauge bayed like they were coon hunting, right at the door. He didn't know that person's smell or gait and meant that the stranger should be wary.

"What?" he rubbed his eyes and crawled out of bed. There were spent Badsidder bottles littered on his nightstand and in the kitchen. He knocked one over when he climbed out of bed. He pulled on a pair of pants and a worn button up from yesterday, not bothering to button it up when he opened the door he held gauge's collar to keep him back. Gauge, of course, meant to meet the stranger, and wagged his tail and pulled on Shane's hold. His blue eyes judged Sidonie carefully, going from her frightful face down to her hands.

"More good news, I take it." Her face already half told him what would be there. However, he could not predict the latter part. The message taken, he didn't spend time with Sidonie. He just nodded and bid her farewell with a shut of the door.

He didn't read the letters until morning, over black coffee. It seemed hours passed, that the sun shouldered and eased its way along the sky until the last sentence was read. She was going... To his source of shame. Eyebrows lowered. He considered.

She was going to Ireland. She was going to find Maria. It was a bad idea to find that woman.

"Fuck." He began packing immediately, certain that his travel could be at the heels of her own if he hurried through the way. He had one decided advantage-- he didn't have to look for her to know where she was. His path would be a direct one and one meant for intervention.

A restless night for Spade, tossing and turning in the tormented clutches of nightmares. There was a pull, a draw, a summon of spirit as her senses were drowned in the scent of rose water. A heaving shudder of breath as her eyes flashed opened and she inhaled sharply, coughing to withdraw that scent, that clinging sweet smell from her throat and her nose.

?Goddess!?

Drenched in sweat she came out of bed. It?d been this way since Shane had slammed the door in her face after taking the letters. Something was wrong. She felt it down deep to her bones and the fact the Mother Goddess herself was tapping into Sidonie?s spirit for an awakening of the old magic was another questionable bit.

Reluctantly Spade crawled out of bed, taking a quick shower and sliding on a pair of jeans and a simple tank top, hair a quick fix of a ponytail before she was darting out the door with a side glance to the dress she had planned to wear to the Beltane festival later today. The doors to Cloud Nine were closed and the blinds drawn with a sign stating ?closed for renovations.? She had packed a bag just in case.

Something wasn?t right. This as much she was aware of as she ran in the sprinted gait near gazelle born as she ran to the bar where Jinx was keeping a room. Darting into the inn with a wave to the boss man she didn?t hear him as he was calling out her name in warning and summon. She knew all too soon the reason for that misheard beckon.

The door to Jinx?s room was ajar and her room was empty. Nothing but a few wispy strands of red and the powder light scent of the perfume she favored. Spade?s heart dropped. First Shane and now Jinx were gone.

?Avery??

Panic flickered in turquoise and she was running to his apartment. She knew it was late, so impossibly late. She knew it was the worst hour to be waking someone up from the dead of sleep. Instinctively she knew as she ran what this all might mean. That feeling, that presence in her spirit of the Mother Goddess was just a notion and awareness of the fact that Sidonie needed to return to the place she avoided and despised the most. Home.

Shuddering as she ran, a flash of her father?s face in her eyes those tears near threatened to spill. She was choking on the thick gathering of emotion in her throat. No, she wouldn?t allow that man to bring her to tears or the courts to destroy her all over, and they wouldn?t get Avery. No matter what? they wouldn?t make her do what they created her to do or forge her in the mold of the one they wanted her to be.

So the question as she was pounding her fists against his apartment door in those late night hours, heaving in ragged breaths as hands went to her knees and she doubled over with the pain of her past? that question that remained?why was she going to ask him to come along?

Because she knew she?d need him there if she was going to survive any of this.

?Jacinta? what have you done to us now?? A whisper on her lips, those turquoise eyes were terrified as she slumped down on the doorstep of Avery?s apartment, resting her head against the frame of the door and closing her eyes. She didn?t know if she could do this? not this? anything but going home?

She had her duffel bag with her as she stepped inside. Turquoise eyes were red with the restraint of tears. She held and surpressed back that fear, that terror of the reality that was setting in.

"We... have to go."

Spade saw that expression, that look even through his exhaustion. Soon enough she was in his arms. She just needed to be held.

"She's gone...I went to see Jacinta... to let her know that I delivered the letters to Shane... and she's gone. I think she's gone back. I can't let her go alone."

A whisper against his throat as lips sealed there in intimate touch.

"I have to go... I have to go to Ireland. Please... Avery. Come with me."

So tired. She all but collapsed on the couch. One more day shouldn't be so bad... she could head out tomorrow. With or without him. She hoped it would be with.

Spade if anything needed that support to face her father again and what ever else might come to pass. The high aching torment of the love she knew was between Shane and Jacinta as fragile as it was... was still a flame... likely to be a bonfire or a wild fire depending on how well it was contained...

A close of eyes, she held her hand out to him to have him to curl with her on the couch. She needed him now more then ever.

Not alone she couldn't risk facing her father alone. Couldn't risk watching a fire between Shane and Jacinta become a wild fire of fury and passion for all that Ireland risked to offer them.

A return to home... it was something she had a sinking feeling she'd never be prepared for.

Ireland is a divided country.

The primary problem, outside of dwindling issues of famine, was the Catholics verse the Protestants. It was more than that, though, the religious also took political sides concerning the military. It was the nationalists verse the unionists. This conflict hadn't healed as quickly as the country hoped, but was milling, continuing for what was turning into hundreds of years. It was like an ulcer in the stomach of the country. Some days it went without notice. Others crippled the nation. Both sides contributing to the unrest of Ireland. Most died in Northern Ireland, the larger cities with the greatest unrest being Belfast.

Lately there had been an unaccounted for quiet. The Catholics were dominant in the north where most of the conflicts where. Granted, Shane had grown up in rural northern Ireland, near but somewhat isolated due to his distance from the city. Did she knew he was catholic? That that was the part to go searching for to begin with?

For all the quilted air of Ireland, the country retained its beauty far from the city. There were no great shows of pain, explosion, or loss, but green hills that peacefully rolled and sheep that moved at a collie dog's bark. It was easy, in the country, to think that the nationalists and unionists were groups bickering in a country further off.

How long would it take her to realize that he had lived in rural Ballycastle? Was it far from where she herself had been raised? Was it hard to run into someone that knew him when he was one of eight children in a small town of a well populated country? Could she find the Michael family before he intercepted her?

Was she prepared to predict that Maria was not living with his family members?

The next morning she adjusted the final things that she needed to get packed. She was hugging her knees as she prepared herself mentally and emotionally for the trip.

Her homelands were a place that she loved as a place to grow up but the idea of facing the court again... or her father, was a terrible thing.

It was time for her to be strong. They would know as they always did of course. The Good Neighbors were not ignorant of one of their own returning to the homelands.

Fingers smoothed through her hair as she sighed and eased the bag over her shoulder, she'd wait till he was ready to head out. Still there were regrets, like missing the clinic auction. She even had one helluva dress picked out.

So now there was just a time for waiting. Then the journey would truly begin...

She had the relaxed nature of one at home in a bar. Jacinta should be used to it after all, with working at a bar for as long as she had. She felt torn. The thrill of being home as much as the discomfort of being home all at the same time.

Jacinta could only imagine that Sidonie would feel even worse with being back at home given the lasting memories she had from the prior events that passed the last time they were in Ireland.

When she inquired about the Michael family she didn't expect to find answers. Thank goodness for small locations and villages.

Hand shoving through that wild mess of red she left the bar with a flicker of a smile in thanks and she headed the pointed direction.

Well this should be interesting, meeting the Michael family... one could only imagine what the rest of the time here would bring.

Then there was Avery, bag slung over his shoulder, with a jacket, jeans, t-shirt, and his canvas shoes to cover him. He wasn't even bringing his guitar with him this time.

"Ready to head out?" he asked as he walked over, bending down to touch a kiss to her jaw, a short, sweet, and reassuring gesture as he glanced toward the door.

Ireland, he'd never been there. If it weren't for the fact that she had seemed to be in such a state of panic and distress, he may have even been excited. But as it was, he was simply anxious, concerned, and a few other things to go along with it.

Had he known there was an audience, he might have tried to lay them straight instantly on the state of things. Instead, he was swept up in the greetings of parents and present siblings. Once the door shut behind him he sank into a beaten chair at the table, eyes following his mother as she moved about to fix him something to eat.

"Ma, I'm not hungry."

"Off wit yah, then. I'll nat have ye staerving before bed."

Instantly he recalled that there was no overthrowing his mother. That he will was permanent and it was far better for him to smile into the plate of what appeared to be a Shepard's pie.

"Ma, I came ta talk to you about Maria."

She was scooping and pouring and when she came to him, set all the items before him, "Oh, she daing quite well this tame o year, Shane. She looks right square."

"Ma, you know it's not real, yea?"

"Shane," she scolded, setting a napkin and fork beside the dishes and sitting beside him, "don't doubt it all the time. Paert o getting better is with the sappert of those wit ye."

"Ma, it's not that kinda sick."

"Shush," he almost was pounding a fist atop the table, "I'll not hear o it. If God sees that Maria is back in her state of mind, away from the possessions of a devil's thoughts, he'll see tae it. You should be 'appy Shane, the good Lord may 'ave punished ye, but parhaps it is time for ye to be relieved and in a loving, perper marriage ahgain."

"Ma..." he poked at his food with a fork, "I don't think the Lord intends it that way."

"What would you know? Silly baey been off to other lands so loang you fergot what home and life 'ere was like. You'll see, Shane, you'll see."

I hope you're wrong.

Waiting was something the God of Rock didn't do all that well, while fun, friendly, cheerful, and rather likable, he wasn't known for patience. He'd exercise his patience here though, wouldn't do any good to go storming about recklessly.

"Wait eh?" he asked as he glanced over at Spade, that smile of warm reassurance touching his lips as fingers laced and remained that way, within her's, squeezing.

"What exactly are we waiting for?" because Avery had learned little of the reasons for the trip, what was going on, and so on. Thus, it was natural for him to be a bit confused.

His mother was gathering up dishes when there was a knock on the door. Shane looked at him mother to see who she expected, but her face seemed as surprised as his own. His eyebrows lowered as he watched his mother go to the door.

His mother, is, well, nothing like him. Shane looked like his father, they were both tall, wiry men with rough skin. His mother was plump, short and soft. Her cheeks were ruddy and she had, no matter how she tried, stems of hair pointing in stray directions.

"Good evenin'. It's a bit late tae be out. Can I healp ye?"

Shane couldn't see who was at the door, but he was certainly cranking his neck to get a better look.

A grin sparked its way across her lips, amused as ever by Avery's increasing nature to attempt to be patient.

Standing up the glamour was dropped to make their presence known. Once up her hand extended for his as she chuckled softly.

"Alright c'mon then. I believe it's time to be a Good Neighbor."

Soon enough she and Avery were down by Jacinta, smiling warmly to the woman that answered the door. One arm went over her sister's shoulder as her fingers curled through Avery's.

"Hello. We didn't mean to disturb you any, we have walked a long while and were hoping for a moment of rest if it would not be a burden."

Those bright eyes offered a cheerful sparkle to the mother of Shane. A wink was flashed to Jacinta since the Spade was ever the more social butterfly of the pair. Spade to the rescue it seemed.

"We won't stay long... just a few moments to rest our feet."

Reassurance was a sweet lilt on her tongue as she looked hopefully to the woman at the door.

Those storm blues moved and danced over to her sister and the Spade's God of Rock as she offered a withered smile. Still it was something that had begun to find a peace in her heart.

The Good Neighbors. The Sidhe folk. She had to wonder if Shane's mother would realize the twist on words and the fact that at least two of the Shining Court stood before her. Certainly Spade perhaps was more destined to be a Solitary or a Dark Court... and Jacinta better suited for the Summer Court but there they were together. Waiting.

There was no cursing that Jinx would be offering, no torment if they were denied offering. Surely by now Shane if he was there would recognize the voices of the trio. It was near an adventure of reckoning to peace and resolution.

Closure. She needed it ... but she couldn't deny the full fact and reality that she missed him more now then ever.

There were many things she expected. A door slammed in the face, screaming, shouts of accusation. But kindness was something unexpected.

Jacinta stood there at that threshold looking all the more like she was hit by a freight train before a tentative smile curled her lips. A shake of head as she exhaled softly with a murmur to Shane.

"I didn't come here for Maria. I came to see you... and to learn of where you came from that made you the man you are today."

Head bowed those ocean blue eyes were peaceful. She had only wanted the same thing. Peace. Closure. She knew that the possibility of forgiveness was a long way away.

Looking at him though in those moments there was a deep ache. Gods but she missed him. Why could she not have been honest? Why couldn't she have been real with the one person she cared for more then anything.

A tentative smile was offered in his direction in hopes to take that step towards fixing things...and just like that she stepped inside with her sister and Avery to follow.

She had found a place to curl in, an old beat up chair that looked like it'd be a back killer but was unexpectedly comfortable.

Jacinta awakened to the early morning sounds of dinner preparation and the familiar voice of Shane.

A flutter of lashes though her eyes were kep low and guarded as she listened and watched the events that went on. Watching at the frustration of Shane's sister dashing off.

Frown touched her lips before she found her eyes flicking to her sister and Avery curled up together on the floor in a mass of blankets and pillows.

For a moment she envied them, the bond the pair shared and that affection, and then those storm blue eyes softened. This trip if anything and seeing Shane's family had brought her to realize more so the importance of family.

Oh her family had a far turbulent relationship, far from the goodness that exuded from this home but perhaps it would be a chance for Jinx to fix her own bond with her sister.

A movement she made the nature for it to appear she had just awakened. Rising to stand she fixed the blankets and pillow up nice, a smooth of hand to straigthen her tousled curls.

Drifting there over to where the Michael family had prepared for dinner.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

It was a start.

A warm smile was offered to Shane's mother as it grew into a heart warmed grin. It was the first time in ages that she had smiled like that. Her eyes met Shane's and even as the smile remained there was a bit of color that touched to her cheeks. It felt like old times...

The thought was shoved aside even as she winked a bit to Shane before those stormy blues found the younger Michael brother staring at her and she offered a wiggle of fingers to him in greeting.

"Sure Mrs. Michael."

The bread loaf was found and she set to work making neat slices of fifteen.

She watched his family come and go and couldn't help but smile, a drop of eyes to her work as she contemplated the whole family bit. It felt like home here. How could Shane have left this... this life... seemed so much different from what she had come from.

Part of her wished to speak to him, to have a quiet moment with him to just find if things could be repaired between them.

That wouldn't be so much a choice when Maria came now would it. A sigh and she set back to work

"Hey there squeaker," he grabbed Jacob when he was done with peeling and gave him a spin. It was with a good bend and lift that he tossed the boy over one shoulder. Jacob, of course wanting to assert his own strength and growin machoness, made a big show of fighting him.

His mother was not too far behind them, "Baoys!! Stoooppp. Yer gonna wreck the haeuse. If yer gonna act like tha, go eutside."

Shane chuckled and set Jacob down, who was quick to slug him on the arm. Then he looked back toward the bedroom door and then his mom, "I guess I'll try sayin' hey to Trina nod that she's had a minute."

He went to the door and opened it. Trina's room as a room for four of them. Four beaten up beds separated throughout the room. Some toys. When she heard the door and saw him, she was sitting on her bed turning her doll between her hands. She made it a point to have her back to him.

"Trinnnaaaa," he called at her softed, crouching down a bit as he came over by her. He sat at the opposite side of the bed, "Breakfast is going to be ready soon."

She shrugged him off.

"I've missed you."

She made her doll kick one of its legs, "Ye don't act laeke it."

"I just, you know, things got complicated and I did the best I could. It wasn't ever about hurting you."

She shot him a look over her shoulder, "Ye should 'ave thought about it."

Her venom surprised him, and was greater than he had thought. He tried to reach over to adjust her doll's arm but she pulled her away from him.

"You want me to leave you alone? Okay." He got up.

As he was at the doorway she shot at him, "Ye daen't even sound the saeme."

"I'm the same... I am," he looked at her and smiled weakly, "I got some guests inside and Mom needs help. I'll... talk to you later." and he left her to go back to the kitchen.

When breakfast happens, it's a crowded event. Some of his brothers look a great deal like him, with shocks of dark brown hair that have hints of red. The men in the Michael family are all lanky with bony elbows and sharp knuckles. The women tended to be fuller figured after they matured. Trina was still doll-like and then with messy, light brown hair.

After they ate Shane looked to Avery, Side and Jacinta, "How about we go into town?" He thought his mother would like the reprieve to get her world back in order. Plus, there was something to be said about stepping away from so many children at some point and engage in an adult world with adult conversations, "it's not very big, but I haven't been in a while and I'm curious?"

It was also a polite way to step back for what they actually meant to discuss.

When he got to his feet and started to collect dishes, his mother waved him off.

"Shane, ye don't visit often and ye got company. Go ta them and enjoy yer day. Ye've done enough for this faemily." His mother was talking about the money he sent them on occasion, though that might not have been clear to the present company. He chuckled at his mom, set down the dishes and went over to her, kissing her on the cheek until she shooed him away from her.

When they headed into two they paired off. Shane with Jacinta while Sid and Avery were one another's audience. It was the first time since that day that they were alone together. Enough time had passed that the heated feelings of what occurred had passed and left him with the attitude of, well, what's done is done.

"It's changed a lot since I was a kid. You know, couple more shops, the road got fixed up. It's kinda weird to see it all after a couple of years, you know?" he was milling around the point. Those blues focused on her again, "Jinx... I'm not sure what you're here for?"

"I'm also sorry," he said as they walked, kicking a rock ahead of them so that it dances and seemed to vibrate when it skipped into the air. He looked back at her with his hands jammed in his pant's pockets, "I reacted so strongly, so immediately. I shouldn't have been so rash, I should have been calmer."

There were some small shops that were selling food. It was still expensive, even with the potato famine improving the way it had. Now and then someone would do a double take when they saw Shane and then chuckle and wave. It was clear from this that he had changed from the boy that left town to the man that was visiting. There were some reactions that did not favor him too strongly, but they were never outright mean.

"I was just affected so suddenly and that emotion got a hold of me. It was just so hard to keep things good with Maria and it was like to wear my soul out. It wasn't just that you had done something to me, it was that I had this whole other...background reaction to what had happened."

He stopped at one of the jewelry shops and grinned at the items. They were, of course, nothing fancy or of stunning quality. It was the sort of product you expected to get in a small, rural town. He looked back to Jacinta.

"I want it to be good for you, you know? This life." He wet his lips and smiled at her, "It feels good for things to be good between us though. Like the dust is settled and that monkey on my back is gone. It's just so much work to be angry at someone and I know you apologized to me then but now... you know, it feels different. Feels good, sincere, not like you want it cause you want something from me. But that you know," he shot his gaze over to a different modest store front, "it's the apology itself that's got weight."

He regarded Avery and Sid for a moment before he bent down, purchasing two small, handmade Irish charms and giving on of them to her afterward. They were hand-carved crossed with some beads impressed upon them, no bigger than about a quarter in your palm.

"I know you're not terribly religious, but they're suppose to be good luck too, you know. Here," he handed her one of them, "you know, cause you need something to help with that Jinx bit to you. You'll always be someone special to me Jacinta."

He sighed heavily, pocketing the one he had and putting his hands on his hips, "There's just so much I haven't gotten to do. I don't think you could understand unless you were nine again. Hearing about your life it's like.. .hearing an amazing fairytale full of magic and adventure and so many things I never got to have. I feel awkward in RhyDin sometimes cause everyone has this much more...elaborate knowledge of the world. I get by just by not lettin' anything surprise me but... I want that reaction to be more sincerely rooted."

He wet his lips and looked down the road that they had walked down to get there. He could see small puddles in the dirt way reflect the grey white of the sky and seem to be like matt-colored goins a god had dropped. He pressed his lips together and looked back at her, "I just wanna have something to say about my life before I die. That I went out there and did these amazing things and made something different."

When she looped her arm in his head chuckled, eyebrows arching upward, "Oh, livin' in RhyDin no doubt is going to give my story some twists and turns. I figure one of my siblings will eventually come to live with me, which will be nice to have that family there you know."

As they walked back toward the house he gave a long exhale. Was dinner already creeping upon them? He stared down the road as they walked then looked at her with a weak smile, "It's been so long since I've seen Maria, I don't know what she'll think when she sees me again."

He looked back to see what Sid and Avery were doing before he regarded her again, "It's good to think that it didn't have to end badly. I sometimes think about the stories my parents would tell us as children and I always thought of them as being amazing. That Jack finds a beanstalk and the goose with the golden eggs. But I never considered that his stories were also so very perilous and that while he was experiencing them that they were fighting and not in the spirit of adventure at all."

He looked up at a small break in the clouds overhead. The sky was already healing it over, "I think about that with my strife. That presently it seems painful but in hindsight it'll be funny or wonderfully entertaining. When I think about it like that, I can face the good and bad with a smile, accepting them as one big adventure and not a sad story. It's how you got to anticipate life, I figure."

Lips pressed together in a line. He did that when he was hesitant, worried, or with some sort of hurt reservation. Blues went to her and he shrugged, "I just can't envision it with her, though."

He stopped walked and smiled at Sid, looking down to Jacinta with a slight smile to her, "If that's what you want, that's fine. I suppose the last of my business here is my own."

When she indicated that it was what she wanted, he smiled in a show of understanding.

Maria wasn't Avery or Sid or even Jacinta's responsibility and he could see reason for their departure. Would it have been strange if they stayed with him while he lingered behind to handle the issue? Perhaps. His arm dropped to give Jacinta's hand a small squeeze and he nodded to Avery and Sid.

"If any of you left anything at the house, I'll bring it back on my way home. I figure I'll be here a few days more. Maybe."

Truthfully, though, he wasn't wanting to stay to deal with Maria and all that she entailed. Standing there in the wet, cool breath of the land he felt that he wanted, most of all, to patch up the damage between him and Trina.

"Be safe on your way home. I'll be back that way shortly."

That's how the group divided. Three of them branching off, back to Rhydin, while he made his way back to his house where his family, and Maria, were expecting him.