"Everyone has a dark side."
"Not everyone."
"I don't believe that."
"But how can it be."
"It can... and all you can do...is keep the door closed to it. Keep the door locked and close it tight."

There were omens and warnings in tourmalines as the future Queen of Spades, the royal born of the Dark Court of the Sidhe opened her eyes, awakened again from the nightmares that whispered seductively in her ears. One might fear the darkness and the shadow lures of those nightmares but Sidonie would be different. This was the nature of her people, of what she was and the court she had been raised in.

Dusky fingers pushed through black curls as she sat up in her bed, ignoring the fact that her skin again was imprinted with the hematite stain of her Sidhe nature and the energy of the Dark Court. She had noticed it for the past days. Spade had hidden it well, the glistening dark shine of skin and the crawling filigree and lattice work of the tattoos that covered where the scars once had imprinted her flesh.

Darker times were ahead. From the moment winter had licked at her flesh and breathed out its chilled air across her skin she had known. Winter was a time of death and rebirth, a time of violence and pain.

It had taken so much of her to control the part of her spirit that reveled in that pain and violence, the suffocating emotions of torture and torment. Sidonie had no desire to prove to herself or admit to any that she was just a much the monster as the rest of the Dark Court was. Yet more and more it was becoming so hard to suppress the truth of it all.

There are many that have been looking for you? and they are not friends.

The feral hungry eyes of her watcher, moon wild as the eyes of any hunting wolf did not terrify her but quickened her blood. The lust in the slaver?s eyes was nothing new to Sidonie but that was not which awakened a tandem beat of heart that was far more visceral and savage.

He hadn?t come to claim a bounty. He hadn?t come to gather her. There seemed instead an odd fascination. Sidonie perhaps understood that if he was to collect her it wouldn?t be as bargaining chip but as a collector?s piece in a vast menagerie of wicked delights and preternatural sins.

There?s pleasure in the pain, Spadey Girl. Have you forgot that already?

How could she forget.

Moon soaked and shadow kissed she was as restless as a caged creature of black velvet glory and silk desires. There was just so much of her soul stretching and unraveling, awakening and coming alive. Was there the winter to blame or something more ? intimate and known?

As intimate as a heartbeat, as intimate as a soul that was where it rested dark and deep within her.

She ached to feel flesh beneath and against her own. To taste a pulse like sweet copper candy captured swift in her teeth. The dark wild was rising and she had no control.

Or maybe it no longer mattered? that control.

Sweaters and warmer clothes discarded the leather pants and black corset with the blood red ribbons pulled on. She went out in the night without ward and without protection.

For tonight Sidonie welcomed the savage, the wicked, and the cold?. Knowing well there was no turning back once that part of her had been unleashed.

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The Past...

Midnight spills and patterns. It twisted and turned. Writhed around her with a sweet provocative whisper that was dark and desirable. Fingers outstretched clutched when she felt the energy wanting to press into her palms as a dog might when finding some moment of affection from master.

These the shadows would be to her but her fingers curled. Closing away. Crushing away the offering of comfort they might provide.

Bruised her pale skin was welted and scarred. Hair in wild torrents. Blood garnets in midnight. So dark the red it would deceive one to believe even then it had been black.

Slowly the garnet red had become spade born threads of blood and darkness.

"He hit you again, did he not?"

The only one that dared to come into the shadows. That had found that girl within the darkness.

Shinining.

Gods but he would shine for her. Before her eyes he was glorious.

And she loved him.

In secret.

Always in secret.

Even in the shadows Embry was a dark smolder.

"Embry."
"He won't harm you again. As long as I am here."
"What is it that you promise."
"My word."
"Strong vows..."
"For you. I will protect you."

She had believed him. Blood and Darkness the strands of her hair that he caressed.

"I..."
"Shh."

Hushed. Transfixed the Black Bird had eased willing into his touch. Lulled and seduced by it. In the shadow quiet, the midnight dark of passion's allure he had leaned to her. Lips parted in a marking promise of first kiss and seal of vow.

"Embry..."

A voice that would spark. Rich as a hearth flame in autumn's heat.

A voice known so well.

The voice of her sister.

He had turned away from her then. Eyes betraying what his smile and expression would not.

So much seen in those eyes.

He cared and yet his steps led away from her.

Embry had chose another. Taking the place at her sister's side.

Something fragile in the Black Bird had snapped. Broken.

Did it matter now. The ugly duckling hid behind a black swan mask.

Always the ugly duckling.

Never a black swan. No matter what was known or seen.

In the shadows she watched as the one she loved danced, laughed, drank, and jested with the man she loved.

Always.

Ever.

In secret.

How would she know that months later when the ring would flare and speak for them as mated pair that all she would know was blood and darkness.

And that she... was Solitaire

Nothing but the Blood.

Hold it Sacred. Hold it Secret.

A broken heart she would hide and he would never know her love.

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Sidonie?s father had been a powerful Sidhe of the Dark Court. His appearance, magic, and power of control and persuasion had been everything that Jacinta and Sidonie?s mother had fallen for. A human woman after all was no comparison for the strength and will of a Sidhe male?s wants and desires. He had proved this more then once when he had taken another woman of the village as his consort even while wed to Rowan. Rowan had always in Sidonie?s opinion been beautiful. As a child long before she was taken back to the Courts with Jacinta to learn of her culture as Sidhe, she would deny the whispers she heard that save for her hair? Sidonie was the spitting image of Rowan.

Rowan had ever been a woman with laughing bright eyes and a contagious smile, her soft sun-kissed blond hair so baby fine it appeared made of moonlight and dreams rather then truly touched by any human hand or human life. It was Sidonie?s hair that as a child proved her as her father?s child. The glistening midnight oil stain of her hair ever marred by the dark garnet highlights that would mark her as Sidhe. Her hair being more Red then Black perhaps it was even as a child that she knew her suit. Ace and Queen of Spades, the unpredictable vision of Trouble.

Now back in the Dark Court the thoughts of her mother and father seemed like an onslaught. The reality of her father?s nature and past that much more tangible for her. Half Gabriel Ratchet, half Puca her father was a Force. Sometimes Sidonie wondered if he was nothing more then the embodiment of the darkness itself. He was after all one of the Queen?s Raven.

Had it been so long ago that while she and Jacinta had slept the Queen of the Winter Court and the King of the Summer Court had watched them, wondering if either of them could be manipulated over to either of their Courts as pawns? or perhaps key players.

Strange it seemed now that the Four Courts had found the Daughters of Donovan each to take a place amongst their courts. Tierney with her steady temperance and cold steel will seemed destined for the Winter Court, Roisin with the shining silver filigree within her skin and her sweet demeanor the destined of the High Court as the Daughters of Donovan and his consort, Leah.

Would it be so unusual that Jacinta and Sidonie would find their equal homes within the Summer Court and Dark Court. How strange it seemed that Sidonie had wished once to be one of the Summer Girls and now? walking through those dark halls, she felt more at home here then ever.

The Black Bird had taken after her father when it came to power and blood lines. Wrought with the same tempest as her father she had become one of Gabriel?s chosen hounds within the Dark Court. Marked in magic as leanaan sidhe. Black Dog. Black Bird had become a Black Swan and then a Spade.

Her thoughts drifted to the one that had touched heart as much as spirit. The only one that had touched so deep since Embry, yet still he was as lost to her as Embry had been.

He had chosen his path.

?Sidonie.?

Her head lifted at her name, drawn from the reverie of thoughts that ever seemed darker as the days passed. In these hours there was no moonlight and she could not longer find the stars? but still she would think of him.

In the distance of that wide spread blanket of shadow and night she swore she heard him beckon and call her back home, urging her to remember the light and where she belonged but the familiarity of that which rested before her beside Steele, the blacksmith of the Dark Court? distracted her and called to her with all its wicked intentions.

Blood and Darkness was all she could know as she lifted the twin blades in her hands. Tested their weight in her hands and knew? that the Blades of the Black Dog? were hers again.

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(Cascada- Draw the Line Yanous Candelight mix http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3kmhfr3FLo&feature=fvw )

The Past

The black swan mask was discarded, thrown over the railing of the balcony as she watched it flutter and fly on light feathers to a gentle descent to touch to the lake below. The irony did not leave her. A bitter smile as she scrubbed the tears from her eyes before her fingers curled to the railing. A moment she felt like screaming as her heart pounded against her chest in a sharp violent beat. A heart that slammed so hard against the cage of her ribs she wondered if even her heart was a captured bird that wanted to be unleashed.

Tear streaked face was lifted to the sky, finding the dimmest star that was glistening in a vain attempt of competition against its brothers and sisters, those shining souls. Bone white her clench of fingers to the railing as her voice came forth and she was singing out to those stars like it was a broken dream.

Tick-tock says the clock on the wall
It tells me everything is wrong, maybe
I lost my dreams long the way
Feels like we're about to fall
Into the shadow I run but lately gravity
Is pulling me back on my feet again

Why don't we say goodbye
Cos' now I know how it feels to live alive
It's turning so deep inside
Tell me why, oh its breaking me, its killing me
So why... draw the line (mmm, ohh)

The watch of the dance of Jacinta and Embry had torn her soul apart. Had ripped into her and called to that dark shadow of her soul. The part of her she had attempted so much to avoid and ignore. The part of her that was much like her father. Tourmalines brushed with dark onyx focused on the stars as she she moved then from the balcony to descend the steps that led to the garden.

She almost felt like searching for the sweet tranquility of Roisin. Roisin would comfort without questions or reason, and yet even Roisin was gone in her own sweet state of adoration and wishes. Hushed murmur, head bowed as the black of her hair covered her eyes. Hide and seek she played so much now with her heart as well as her eyes. The song came forth, sang out from her soul and depth of her heart as her fingers clenched into fists.

Tick tock every heart beat drums
Whenever you're around baby
Can't seem to chase those clouds a ray
There's no escape from it all
Into the shadow I run byt lately gravity
Is pulling me back on my feet again

Why don't we say goodbye
Cos' now I know how it feels to live alive
Oh it's turning so deep inside
Tell me why, oh it's breaking me, it's killing me
What if we turned around and walk away
Right now.
Would you cry, would you die a little
Oh boy I'm about to say goodbye, say goodbye

That darkness crawled along her skin. She felt the calling of it and she was breaking in and submitting to it anymore. Hematite moved along her fingertips, eyes more onyx and jet dark then tourmaline. That shadow crawl of touch imprinted her flesh with magic. With markings. Black dogs loping and running in the wild hunt.

Giving in and giving up. She sought the darkness. Tourmalines lifted to the sky, focused on that star so dim against the rest and she wondered how much longer it'd be before it was snuffed out just as the kindle of her heart had been.

There was nothing but the darkness now. The Daughter of Donovan heard that cry in her soul and it was so much harder for the Black Dog to resist within her.

Oh why don't we say goodbye
Cos' now I know how it feels to live alive
Oh it's turning so deep inside
Tell me why, oh it's breaking me, it's killing me
(why don't we say goodbye,
cos' now i know how it feels to live alive)
Oh it turning so deep inside
Tell me why, oh it's breaking me, it's killing me
So why... draw the line,
I draw the line
I draw the line


The final words, heartbroken sounds that faded out into a howl. Leaving it all behind she ran.

Running to the wild hunt where the pain was never her own... but the pain of others.

She was always so cold. She would blame it on the winter's ritual and rites but deep down there was something else known.

Tossing and turning, her sleep was broken and jagged. She shivered in her sleep, visible shivers that racked through her till her body ached. Pain came then. Cutting deep knives of ice.

She knew that feeling.

Killing Frost.

Her eyes snapped open and immediately found the source of pain. The Blade embedded in the soft belly of her flesh and she gasped out in surprise. The cold was unbearable.

"You."
"Of course, who else do you think it would be..."

The woman wore a cruel smile, eyes artic glass, hair the color of winter frost..and her skin...oh her skin was a frozen moon. So pale.

Gasping, fingers curled to the blade and it was withdrawn. Tossed to Tierney's feet.

"I'm surprised you have lasted this long, sister mine."
"Tierney."

A light nod as the only source of warmth from the Winter Court Queen was the ember burn of the clove the Fae sucked upon. Cold. That deep cold within.

She understood now the freezing burn she felt inside. It was not just the lonely hours, or the shatter threaten of a broken heart only fresh to heal... but instead Tierney's manipulations.

"Why do you do this, Tierney."
"Because I can. Because I enjoy it. Because Daddy should have broke you when he had the chance. He took pity on a pretty face. Thought you'd come into your own. Join the Hunt... but you didn't."
"No. I did once. Not again."
"Pathetic. You never deserved to be a Daughter of Donovan."
"And what of Roisin, of Jacinta?"

Artic blues focused on her half-sister as she watched Sidonie pressing to the wound that slipped out a pretty stain of darkened crimson against white sheets and dusky fingertips of her dark born sibling.

"Jacinta has the right state of mind... she just needs a little... push... and Roisin... is untouchable. Even I could not break her."

A purse of lips and Tierney stood, fetching her knife as the tip of her tongue brushed to the serrated edge of the iron blade. Tasting ever of that life giving force of blood that was Spade's magic and energy.

"Bring out the Black Dog, Sidonie... or Winter will last far longer in your soul."

A touch of knife in gesture to temple and a mocking bow, it wasn't long before that cold blast of wind had left her room, taking Tierney with it.

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"Where's the Light now?"
"Gone..."
"It should still burn bright."
"But it doesn't."
"It shouldn't be so hard to find again."
"It is... harder then I realized."
"Look again. Sometimes it gets so dark you can see the stars."

Tourmalines snapped open, dark drenched as the memories faded of conversations that echoed with threads of hope that the nature of her kind would not stamp her with the nature of madness and sin, cruelty and carnage.

The Dark Court had welcomed her once more. All that they reveled in for the return of the Daughter of Donovan amongst them, was something she despised. Loathed of herself. Her hands never would be clean. She could wash them every day but they would still be marked with all she had done.

Things that could not be known. So many things said of her, so many things believed but only a trusted handful truly knew her. A hand lifted through her hair, sunk deep into the darkness of those curls till finding the token.

All that she was, a story told in that black fetish born token. A wisp of a smile, fingers curled into a tightened embrace against it as she curled up against the wall.

Broken by the Wild Hunt, she could feel no sympathy for herself, there was only a thread of pride left for the fact she had not been collared by the Hunt and made its dog.

Still she had done enough to know the damage was done.

Fingers curled and stroked a caress against the black feather, touched to the silver skull trinket and jet black dog trinket. Breathing out a sharp sigh as she closed her eyes once more.

Nothing was ever as it seemed and there were so few now to understand, that stuck around to know the truth.

It was so dark here but even still, Spade found herself searching for stars like she had so many years ago.

Looking for a bit of light when everything seemed to go black.

A sleepless night had finally found an end point come the breaking light of dawn. Sidonie sighed out a breath of peace and contentment as she felt the soothing touch of a hand through her hair. It was such a gentle touch that coaxed its way of tranquility and serenity through the strands of thick black. Only when the touch found that token mark of black raven feather with its silver skull and black dog charm and the odd topaz trinkets did she awaken, tourmalines dark marked and wary.

A blink to clear her eyes of the haunting of visions, the nature of thinking she saw her mother there sitting beside her on the piano bench. The evenings had been haunting, filled with ghost touches and apparitions of memories folding over present hours to the point of hallucinations. Any time her fingers touched the slick ivory and ebon of the keys to the baby grand she felt another touch over her own. The playback caress of fingers intertwined with her own in a mated joining, a paired promise. The sensation tore at those heart strings with a far more wicked torment and torture then any blade ever could.

There was nothing else to be known.

?Oh Sidonie? what have you done??

The words she would expect from her mother. Never judgemental but the tone, the lack of accent was all wrong. The soft, light words were sweet and lovely on her ears, a voice that belonged to the Heart of Faerie herself.

?Roisin.?

Her head bowed near in honor and acknowledgement of her half sister. Of any and all of the sisters, Roisin despite her demure nature was the one that held the authority and power over them all. As the future queen of the High Court, she was judge and jury through it all.

?I killed a man.?

A whisper fell from Sidonie?s lips as she looked down at the piano keys. There was no shame in the words as they rang with solemn truth but the weight of it was heavy on her soul. Of all that she had lost if she regained it, would she be looked at the same way in the eyes of the only one that mattered to her? The silence was thick from the Heart of Faerie as the blue moon depths rested on her darker sister.

?So the Black Dog has been awakened once more and called back to Hunt.?

So slow was the nod from Spade as she finally lifted her eyes to meet those of Roisin.

?Am I Forsaken then??

?No. Never Forsaken. It is in your blood. It is what you are. We cannot be judged for that which we are.?

Oh Spade was never damned as the Gabriel Ratchet, Hound of the Wild Hunt, the Black Dog but she knew of the dark blotches that would mark her soul, the tarnish oil stain of her spirit.

Darkened tourmalines searched those blue moon eyes for understanding before drifting over the face of the High Court future Queen. Sidonie would look far past the gold cream skin to see the gentle silver filigree that ever would mark her half sister?s flesh.

A look was cast down to her dusk marked flesh where the onyx black marks imprinted her flesh in scrawling tribal and the vision of the running hounds. Sidonie?s eyes would take in the tattoos and signets which named and claimed her as a Hound of the Wild Hunt.

Yet it seemed she wasn?t meant to run alone now in the Hunt. It was only business. It was only the Hunt. Untouchable was her heart. Unclaimed her Soul if only saved for the sake of one. Sidonie had sworn by her words in a silent and mutual understanding with the slaver. There was no trust between them but a marked understanding and respect. They would watch each other?s back but still if come a crossing or wrong doing there would be no qualms of killing off the other.

Death would be the Wolf?s damnation and final creed if he ever touched the one she loved in secret.

He would know that well, if he did not already. It mattered not if she was scorned or not the one chosen, it was the way of her heart. Never had Sidonie felt so for another, and likely never would again.

A look down to the piano keys and she shivered at the apparition touch and sensation of hands that were not there to cover her own. Lifting eyes up and away from Roisin to look at her dresser where the new weapon rested, the glock to keep company with the twin dark blades of the Wild Hunt.

Roisin?s touch on her arm stirred her from her thoughts. The words she spoke held weight and truth and awareness.

?Sometimes our Fate is bound with thicker chains then we wish to be bound with Sidonie. Your lines, your threads? are woven tight.?

Dark soaked tourmalines shut out the blinding light of the dawn, and more so from the brilliance of Roisin?s truth. It was Roisin?s gift of seeing the lines and threads of Fate.

The slaver had not lied.

The Hounds would run again in the night.

No salvation. No running away from what she was now when another had claimed her as his own.

Bonds of Blood.

Never of Heart, Never of Body, Never of Love. No those belonged to another and ever would in Spade?s secret way.

She had nothing else left but the job now. Nothing else mattered when everything that had mattered was dead and gone.

A sigh breathed out as she stood and squeezed Roisin?s shoulder in silent acceptance. The Glock stuck in the back of her pants for the gun to press hard and cold to the small of her back, the Twin blades a comfort at her shoulder blade.

Darkened tourmalines void of emotion as that torn heart and heat warmed emotion was locked up tight and tucked away in the darkest point of spirit where it never would be found. Locked and sealed away in a worn box where only one could hold the key to open that part of her again.

It was only business now? and business was about to get busy.

Frowning as she checked the time she shook her head subtle to her sister.

?I have to get going? there is a meeting to keep.?

Thus it all began again? the Hound accepted and the Wild Hunt ensued.

The glock had been set aside. The parchment and ink drawn out. She contemplated writing Tucker a letter. Extending a hand of friendship, someone just there to listen and not judge.

Spade worried in her thick silence as she watched the moon. An odd concern she had over the harm that had come to Wolf Eyes. Why should she care? Was it because he had called her his Mirror?

An odd kinship for the Black Dog in her was pulled towards that which was Wolf Eyes hunger. The Black Dog within her understood it all well.

Spade was hardly his protector or shield mate, or 'brother' in arms but yet the concern was there. The slaver accepted her for all she was just as Reap had but on different levels.

The Darkness and Light.

A letter would not have direction. Like she had told Lilliana it was best to give Tucker space and time... but Spade had to know.

Had to know if his change was anything compared to the Sidhe Ink Exchange of the Dark Court.

Had to know what had become of the strong, near silent, humble man to suddenly become so bold and brazen.

What had drawn a man that hardly acknowledged her presence to suddenly see her as if he had always watched her in silence.

Spade would find the answers.

Would find the answers of why the friendship with Serena had ever been so unstable with her, why Tucker had changed so abruptly, and what had brought on the violence between Eleanor and Dave.

All would be known. No matter the cost. No matter the price.

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