When we last saw Tara here at Longden Castle she was blowing up the fireplace with Tera Destre's gunpowder and endangering Talomar's business prospects by showing the wife of one of his associates her extremely aroused Raging Bull statue.

It was, you could say, a perfect unlife for the vampire newlyweds who seemed to love each other so much. Yes, by all accounts, everything seemed to be going so well for the happle couple Longden until disaster struck and Tara disappeared!

Time went on as it always seems to do here in Rhy'Din. Talomar divorced his wife in absentia, he got himself a few lucky ladies to pal around with and even the two children began to forget they even had a mother.

Castle Longden was as it should be. Peaceful, quiet and meticulously kept neat by the many staff that worked there. Just as Talomar liked it.

But, as she was wont to do, whenever Tara left Rhy'Din suddenly she almost always turned back up again. You could say she was like a cancer that went into remission several times only to come back again and again.

So, one day last week Tara suddenly showed up again! But this time she had lost all her memories including that of Talomar and her two sons! She told all she knew that she had hit her head and woke up but did not know how any of it happened.

Her only worldly possession on her person?

A series of letters she had written herself before hitting her head that shed some light on a lot of the people and goings on in Rhy'Din so that should she return (which she now has, with a vengeance you might say) she could easily transition back into what used to be a very colorful, productive and notorious existence.

Now Tara followed the advice in her letters and went to the Red Dragon Inn which she wrote was like the focal point of the town. And she met a lot of her old friends and even family. Yet, despite all her visits since returning she never once met the husband, Talomar Longden, that everyone told her she had. She told people she would like to meet him and she meant it but still he didn't surface.

But one day, after falling in love with Corlanthis Wystansayr and trying unsuccessfully to bed other males in the town such as Alain and Anubis, Tara came face to face with Talomar.

And she found that despite what her notes told her about it and how much she had loved him in the past, she did not even remotely like him now!

You see he had been overcome with emotion upon seeing his formerly missing wife and he had kissed her. She took offense to it and slapped him across the face. The whole scene, while comical if you were to watch it, was not at all funny to Tara.

She told Talomar to give her money so she could buy some clothes and food and informed him that he would have to support her until she was able to do so on her own again. He agreed but with one tiny little stipulation which was that she had to kiss him and call him by the nickname she gave to him long ago.

At first she refused but then realizing this might jeopardize her chances of meeting her two boys, she acquiesced and called him the name.

Honeysuckle was what she wrote in her papers and that is what she said but Talomar reneged on his end of the deal and said she would have to keep kissing him in order to see her sons!

This made Tara angry.

Very angry.

So angry she tried to come up with another way to deal with Talomar that did not involve violence but no one it seemed would help her. It seemed to her that Talomar was not someone to cross.

She thought the people were being paranoid and ridiculous. Afterall, she was not afraid of him. So she took the money he gave her, bought herself some new dresses and even some food but then went straight away to the armory.

They had to have something she could use to defeat the evil Talomar and reclaim her children!

And luckily they did. The nice man at the armory gave her some trebuchets which she had to push all by herself all the way to Castle Longden. It took her virtually all night to do but when Tara was on a mission nothing could stop her!

By the end of the evening she had six brand new shiny wooden trebuchets all lined up outside the castle and this made her very proud.

"This'll teach that insufferable fool to trifle with me!" she cried out into the night and shook her fist at the impenetrable fortress in front of her.

Now you might be wondering what Tara was going to use as ammunition with the trebuchets because even though she possessed a superior strength next to others she was not about to go lugging boulders off into the night.

No, boulders were too tedious and cliche.

If this was going to be Talomar's undoing she had to get something that she could fling at his castle that would make people start talking and get Talomar to notice.

And it had not even occured to her what to use until she was pushing the last of the six trebuchets onto Talomar's lawn.

She noted with a great deal of amusement that on the way to the castle there was a farm. And on that farm there were sheep, cows and even horses. And on the outskirts of the farm were huge piles of dung.

Enough to fill ten thousand trebuchets it seemed!

After she was done lining up her war machines she went back to the farm to start transporting the dung. Dung, unlike boulders, was much easier to carry.

It smelled really bad and she had to use her bare hands but it would do the trick. In warfare, she later wrote on her papers, one must not be choosy with the materials they have available to them. One must always find the quickest way to solve a problem for that is how battles are won!

And so she put the dung into the trebuchets and after washing off her hands in Talomar's well, she called out to the vampire Count from down in his courtyard.

"Talomar Longden! This is Tara Rynieyn, your former wife! I may have hit my head which you did absolutely nothing about and I may have woke up, alone, but that is not going to stop me from getting my affairs in order! You will bring my sons out right this very minute or I will bombard your castle with my mighty weapons of war and bring the whole goddamn thing crashing down around you!"

Charles returned and bowed, ?The boys are nearly ready, m?lord.?

?Good, Charles. Make sure that she takes the excrement away along with her sons.?

?Yes, sir.?

?Charles, we must come up with a way to get Tara out of my life. It would have been so much easily if she had either divorced or murdered me as she had done with the other 48 husbands. Why did I have to be the only one of 49 husbands to actually divorce her? It just creates troubles.?

?If only she could develop other interests, m?lord.?

Talomar thought for a minute, tapping his chin with a finger.

?Charles!! You?re a genius!! WE NEED TO GET TARA MARRIED AGAIN!?

The Count began pacing the room, making plans.

?I?ve got it!! We?re going to have ?TARA?S JUBILEE WEDDING!? We?ll have a campaign for MR. FIFTIETH!! It?s perfect. I?ll offer a 20,000 silver crown award . . . er, make that a ?wedding present? . . . to the man who marries Tara in a legitimate, legally binding wedding in a marriage that lasts at least six months.?

?But who would we get to marry her??

?There?s got to be someone. Alain! No, he?s too smart. Corlanthis Wystansayr! No, he?s too nice a guy for Tara. She?d just eat him up and spit him out. Steven would be perfect, but he had to go and marry that Jewell girl. There?s got to be someone who would marry her.?

?Doesn?t Steven have a brother?? Charles asked.

?Yes, but he?s the most vulgar, uncouth, filthy, smelly, irresponsible, rapscallion of a fellow . . . HE?D BE PERFECT!!?

Talomar continued to pace back and forth. I need to make him think it?s his idea. I?m going to put up posters down by the docks and everywhere else! I?ll announce the ?present? of 20,000 silver crowns! ?BE MR. FIFTIETH! A JUBILEE WEDDING!? Never be bored another day in your life!?

?Very likely also never have another moment?s peace and be broke forever or until she kills you too,? Charles added regarding Mr. Fiftieth.

?True Charles, but we keep that secret. Okay?let?s get the boys down to Tara.?

((OOC Note: This part of the SL likely takes place several nights after Tara positioned the trebuchets.))

Hex had finally managed to obtain the location of Castle Longden from one of Miss Tara's "aunts", and after leaving the Red Dragon, Hex decided to investigate the Castle itself. So far asking Miss Tara for information regarding Castle Longden's defenses and one Count Talomar Longden's fighting ability.

Walking on long, mechanical legs out onto the Red Dragon's porch, Hex powered up it's flight systems. Twin plates on the machine's back opened to reveal the main thruster ports, as well as numerous other thrusters in other areas on it's armored body. With a dull roar the thrusters ignite, sending the giant mechanical praying mantis up into the sky. After getting it's bearings, Hex orients in the direction the fae had indicated and arrowed off. It didn't seem to be a long flight, but then to a machine all time is relative.

Eventually the Castle was in sight. Hex maintained what it believed to be a safe distance of several hundred meters above the ground, using enhanced optics to zoom in on the scene.
Yes, there were the six trebuchets Miss Tara had indicated waited outside the castle walls. It appeared that someone, likely Miss Tara herself, had already loaded each one with a large amount of animal biowaste. Hex gave the mechanical equivalent of an inner mental sigh, then began circling the castle itself.

Using several sensor systems, even one experimental model designed to scan and interpret magical energies, Hex made as thorough a survey of the castle as it thought necessary.
Then, it's preparations complete, the mechanical insect chose a landing site some hundred meters from the castle and set down. It hunkered on it's four legs, to all outward appearances an unmoving statue, the glowing of it's eyes dimming to less than a fire-coal.
There it sat, waiting for word from Miss Tara, as it begin to formulate a strategy that would destroy the defenses of Castle Longden, and allow itself and Miss Tara to hopefully incapacitate and kill Talomar Longden.

Charles calmly removed his jacket and flicked off the manure that the Count?s ex had shot at him. Had she not been the Count?s ex, she would already be stripped and hanging in the dungeon. He had let her have her fun, let himself be manipulated and threatened; actually drawing some amusement from it. Perhaps more than anything else, he could now see why the Count didn?t want her back or to waste his time with her. Charles looked to the boys with no little pity in his eyes. They were already into Tara?s manure, getting filthy and somehow operating trebuchets.

He laid his jacket over his arm and turned toward Tara. ?My lady, and I find myself using that term most loosely, I?m sorry to inform you that my death actually happened long before you were born. Perhaps it?s the stench that followed you here that kept you from sensing that. The Count is a busy man, and he has far better things to do with his time than to waist it with you and your waste.?

He turned and took several steps toward the door, then turned to her once more. ?Oh, I almost forgot to inform you. The Count has contacted his S.E.C.T.O.R. Security. A ship is on the way to turn your toys to dust. They?ll be here in . . .,? he looked at his watch, ?. . . five minutes. I suggest you take your sons and depart at once. Oh, and don?t forget the luggage. They?ll need a change of clothes.?

Charles nodded to Tara with a pleasant smile, turned and headed back to the castle. On the way he told the grounds keeper, ?Please rake the manure into the gardens and cancel that fertilizer order. The Count?s ex-wife has been so kind as to carry it all the way here in her bare hands and at her own expense.? He went into the castle to inform Talomar, although he was sure the Count was already well aware of what had transpired.

The mechanical praying mantis had observed the exchange between Miss Tara and the other organic, presumably in the employ of Count Longden. Hex had obtained a photo of Longden, and this man did not match the image at all.
Since it's target was not in sight, Hex remained motionless as it observed and recorded the whole incident between the organics. After a quick scan of Longden's servant, Hex reacted with some suprise. It had learned about vampires and other unliving, yet animate organic beings, and further knew now that Miss Tara was one; however it seemed that this new figure was as well. That would be yet one more obstacle in it's mission of killing Talomar Longden.

With what amounted to a mental shrug, Hex resumed it's study of the castle itself. The fact that Talomar Longden could call upon the support of starships was trouble enough, not to mention the obvious signs of some kind of magic encircling the entire castle grounds. This particular puzzle would be difficult indeed to solve, but as with all such puzzles, Hex was certain there was a solution. Hex simply had to solve it.

The machine was satisfied for the moment, though somewhat concerned that Tara did not seem to consider the threat of a starship bombardment as a danger. It would have to attempt to escort the young organics identified as Miss Tara's offspring out of the area. First though, it had a test to perform...
All through the night the nano-factories inside Hex's abdomen had been busy constructing several autonomous drones. Four resembled what could be described as foot-long, chromed cockroaches. The other two were patterned after mosquitoes the size of sparrows.
Hex lowered it's body down to the ground and a panel in it's abdomen opened, the six drones soon scuttling and flying out. These then began to fan out into the underbrush.

Hex knew that the drones had their pre-programmed orders, and assigned a submind of it's core conciousness to monitor the data-feeds from each, recording all information passed on by the drones.
This completed, the machine stirred to life again and began to approach the castle, angling towards the trebuchets and the two boys. It kept it's scythe-like arms pinned closely to it's sides, attempting to look as non-menacing as a seven foot tall mechanical praying mantis could.

#Greetings. This unit is called Hex, and is a friend of your parent, Miss Tara. Please to not be afraid of this unit. This unit has been instructed to escort you out of harms way.#, the machine spoke to the boys, trying to modulate it's voice to something less... well, mechanical, and only partially succseeding.
All the while, Hex kept up an internal chronometer, counting down the remainder of the five minutes promised by Longden's servant.

Meanwhile, the six robotic drones had circled out around the perimeter of the castle grounds, in a radial hexagonal pattern. After reaching their assigned points, the six drones raced towards the castle walls as fast as they could run or fly, which was quite fast indeed.
The four cockroach-shaped drones had been armed with small calibre projectile guns, as well as small utility lasers. The mosquitoes were armed with similar projectiles, as well as pen-sized micro-rockets with explosive charges equivalent to M80's.
Assuming they reached their pre-programmed range, which was 50 feet from the walls, all six drones would unload their entire ordinance packages on the castle walls.

This was not the way she had planned this. She wanted to cause a diversion, get in the castle, get her journal and come back out. Oh, and maybe sling a few barbs, as well as dung, Talomar's way too while she was at it.

Now she was tucked under his arm like a briefcase and she was not a happy camper.

"I want more money from you Longden!" she cried and slapped at him with her hands. "And my journal! And anything else I got in that blasted castle an' yer gonna give it to me ya hear! Cuz yer a.......Oooh," she cooed passing by her Raging Bull statue once they were inside.

"I want him back too!" she spat and then looked all around at what had changed inside her former home. "Where are we goin? Where are you takin me!" she demanded and then threw one of the earthworms in her hair onto his shiny floor.

Then she smiled up to him. He was still very handsome to her eyes. "Just admit it, honeysuckle. I'm winning!" she giggled.

Talomar ignored the demand for money, but when he heard Tara go, ?Oooh? over the Raging Bull statue he was reminded of what he had wanted to say. ?That bull's going with you. I?ve had about all the view of bull balls that I can take for the next two centuries. See, I?m not such a 'bastardo' after all.?

"Where are we goin? Where are you takin me!"

?I?m taking you to the first-floor bath. If you?re going to be in my castle for longer that three minutes, and unfortunately I think you will, you?re going to be clean and not look like a mole poking it's nose out of a mud hole.?

He carried her beneath his arm and went right into the bathroom and turned on the shower. When a maid approached to see what the noise was, the Count turned to her, still holding Tara under his arm, ?Go to the old storage cabinet and get me one of Tara?s old outfits. Something decent! I?m sure there must be at least one decent outfit in that wardrobe!? Actually he wasn?t too sure there was. He was hoping.

After he locked the bathroom door (there were no windows) he set Tara down on her feet near the shower. ?Okay, my angel, if you?re going to win, at least we are going to have a ?clean? fight. You look like a damn Aunt Jemima but without the pancakes. Now take off those clothes and get into the shower. We?ve an assortment of nice smelling soaps, shampoo, and conditioner in there. You?re going to come out smelling like a rose.?

He found himself enjoying this far more than he had anticipated.

It was not as though he hadn?t already seen her naked body in every way imaginable and in some ways not imaginable. There was not a nanometer of her body which he had not memorized and caressed in some form or another. Nevertheless, he turned around.

?That shampoo is really a bottle of super magical aphrodisiac. You see, you just pour it out on your hair, rub it all over, wash it out, and every man in Rhydin will be running to you with uncontrollable desire to get laid six ways to Sunday. Be careful you don?t use too much, my dear.?

It was a lie, but one he?d get by with since the men of this city would do just what he said, clean hair or not. Tara would never know the difference. In fact, if he was wise, he?d quickly invest in every maker of shampoo that could be purchased in this city.

?Oh, and if you rub that soap all over you and clean off that dirt, it will intensify every orgasm you have for the next month or two; but, er?you don?t really have to use it if you don?t want to.?

He had been married to Tara long enough to know that reverse psychology is the best (and often the only) way to get her to do anything.

?Okay, my angel. I?m looking away. You may go ahead and make yourself quite irresistible to every male in Rhydin. When you finish, your clean clothes will be here and we can go get all your belongings.?

Talomar kept his eyes diverted from her very tempting body (for the most part) as he approached the shower, got the water coming at the right temperature from the lower faucet, then turned on the overhead shower and pulled the curtain closed.

"You might not remember, my dear, but when you wanted me to be your husband, your hair was clean and beautiful and so sweet smelling - like strawberry tarts without the whipped cream. Your pigtails were like strawberry Twizzlers, daring to be chewed upon."

He tossed a washcloth over the top of the shower curtain. "Use that with the soap. It will do the job much more quickly." He was sure the dirt going down the drain would not be dissimilar to the "blood" going down the drain in "Psycho." That thought gave him an idea but he quickly dismissed it; after all, he still loved her. The kind of love they had just doesn't disappear, it just takes on another form. Whatever form his love for her had taken on, it had not yet become something recognizable, or even definable.

The servant came in with Tara's clothes and set them down on a chair. Talomar nodded, gave her the dirty ones, and she left again.

The Count checked the time. This was taking too long. He should have just strapped her to the roof of a car and run her through a car wash. Wasn't there a power washer in the barn?

Talomar knew very well the sounds Tara would make while having sexual pleasure ? every one of them, and then some. He just shook his head in disbelief at the sounds that were emanating from the shower. After twenty very long minutes of listening to what was not very dissimilar to a Clairol commercial gone wild, he finally said, ?Dammit, Tara. You?re supposed to be getting clean, not having a damned orgasm!? With that he turned the sink?s hot water on full, knowing that the shower would quickly suffer the consequences.

Her screams brought a smile to his face.

?Oppsie daisy, shower time is over.? He walked to the shower?s drawn curtains with a large bath towel in his hands. ?Time to dry off, get your belongings, and simply dazzle the men of Rhydin, my good-enough-to-eat, Taramisu.?

The men of Rhydin had no idea what they were in for, and that brought a second smile to his face.

"This is the boy's home and they are well taken care of. You may have them when you desire, Tara dear. You're their mother and I see no reason to involve anyone else in the determination of where they are to be. Have them as long as you desire, and bring them back when you need to."

Yes, the bed had been well broken in. She knew his limitless sexual desires and there was no sense in trying to deny it. "Your clothes are all in the closet in the next room. Come with me." He brought her to the closet and the door opened before them to reveal her clothes. "Wear what you wish, everything else will be sent to you. Then we'll get your "special" belongings. You can take with you what you want, and once again the remainder will be packed and sent to you today."

He turned away so that she might get dressed in the clothes that had been waiting for her for over a year.

?I do not want Marius and Hunter to suffer the same. I want them to know who I am. Who we were, you an' I."

?I love the boys, Tara,? he said after listening to her. ?I was determined that even if we never saw you again, they would still know their mother. I?m sincerely happy that you?ve returned and that they will now have the opportunity to really come to know you personally.?

He heard her say "He did not even know who I was? as she walked off, and it saddened him. Talomar sighed, then began a few steps down the hall and disappeared. He instantly entered the dungeon room where all Tara?s very strange and usual stuff had been stored. He had actually considered donating all of it to Ripley?s Believe it or Not, or perhaps even to Madame Tussaud?s Wax Museum to be used as props in some macabre display the world's freaks of nature, but he held off and now he was glad he did.

He found the keg of gunpowder and reached inside until he felt the journal. Before he went back to Tara, he placed a note upon the gunpowder that said, ?To be delivered to the Forsaken Blades Clubhouse only. Careless smoking by RPS delivery persons is not only permitted, but encouraged.? He didn?t want it to be delivered anywhere near Lord Brutin?s new establishment. Someday he might want to do business with Lord Brutin and it would be difficult to take anyone seriously who had a face blackened by a gunpowder explosion and no roof on his place of business.

Talomar returned to Tara and handed her the journal. ?All your other items will be delivered to you. Don?t forget to give the boys their vitamins. Marius picks his nose and Hunter wets the bed on occasion, but then again you might not actually see that as deviant and antisocial behavior.? He grinned and gave her a wink. ?The door will always be open to you as long as you keep the trebuchets, manure, explosives, weird and unusual creatures, anything electrical or that makes a sound, far away from my gates.?

He looked at his former wife and smiled. She would always have a very special place in his heart. ?Now, if it would not be too much trouble, I would really like a hug before you go.?

Count Longden stood at the door and watched Tara leave. She was affectionate at their parting ? a bit too affectionate. She was up to something. He knew her well enough to know that, but whatever she was up to, he had no idea. With Tara, it could be almost anything.

He walked back inside and Charles shut the door. ?She seemed very happy to have that journal, m?lord.?

?Yes, she was; but I?ve seen her become ecstatic over the simplest of things. Still, something does not seem right.?

?What are you going to do, sir??

?Right now . . . I?m going to see the Lady Belial.? He smiled at the thought.

Inside the chapel that was attached to the castle, something was taking place.

There was a power being released.

Dominique.