"I'll go...ball." He gave her a faint smile, then, just like before, he seized up and was gone.
Judd ? Lucy?s boyfriend?
Gone.
She half felt a lot of people expected for her to kill him someday with her own two hands and ironically enough, Lucy had felt those urges many times... And resisted by Will alone; she refused to kill him outright, she honestly and truly liked him and there was no denying that fact ? her actions and speech alone with him were enough to clarify this. How can you say Lucy wanted him dead when Lucy cried nearly two days straight after his ultimate demise at the hands of Zeikfried?
Lucy Ravenlock, the Queen of Shadows ? creation (or daughter) of the Betrayer, simply could not kill that one rebellious teen or push him away like she did so many others. He made her smile, he made her relaxed around even herself ? he broke that hard exterior that seemed to skitter upon the surface of Lucy Ravenlock ? Judd one boy, had made her feel totally normal, and she thanked him for it. She fell in love with him.
But now by that one simple event with the Bounty Hunter ? Zeikfried, he was gone forever. His scream would be perpetually embossed into her mind and spoken in her nightmares for many years to come. The shriek had shaken her to her very heart and it something she could never forget.
Lucy had won the fight though, but at what cost?
At what cost had Lucy spent to win the battle but loose the fight with herself? A part of her died along with that man ? a part of her that she had been trying to fix for so long.
"I'll go...ball."
That was yesterday and now this morning she stood there in the clearing of her Den like a statue, cradling the stone cold dead body of Judd in both of her trembling arms ? trails of red running down her own cold, undead cheeks; the paleness replaced with a red raw blemish of how much she had cried that night and all way through to the morning. Her grief was immeasurable.
?Judd?? That sorrowed face never left his not one moment ? the scarlet hues just half lidded from the fatigue of staying up all night and holding the dead weight of one lover close to her body. Those eyes of his? Still staring wide ? she could not bring herself to close them, they made him appear more alive than he had looked or felt; even if the eyes were distant and? Blank.
And dead?
Without warning Lucy?s knees knocked together and she fell ungraciously to the ground from the absolute exhaustion, dropping his body before her in the mud, his corpse causing her to wince and whimper as it thudded dully against the ground.
?? Judd,? She had begun slowly, but couldn?t bring herself to say nothing more than his name. She had tried to say her goodbyes ? really she had tried, but she couldn?t bring herself to do it; she simply could not say goodbye.
But she persevered.
?Judd?? A sleeve covered hand had risen to rest upon his lifeless cheek ? all color drained and gone. It was as if the blood were sucked out right from his body. Lucy and he made a matching pair now...
?? I never really meant to force you to the ball? M-maybe if? We didn?t argue about it? I?d feel better right now?? She had to suck up some of the guilt before she had returned to that same gibbering horde of tears she was moments ago, her head and her gaze had turned away and her eyelids had clenched tightly together.
?It?s my fault?? She whispered, ?My fault? If I wasn?t me then? That Hunter would not have come for me? If I had killed him the first time he came then maybe? You would be awake? Talking to me,? Lucy half smiled to herself, remembering the day her Mother had caught them in their room, a brief moment of happiness from memories as reality quickly returned. ?And really pissing Mother off? Together? And your band ? watching you play ? you watching me as you played so well ? you? Making love to me? One last time ? oh god??
Lucy fell onto her back with her sleeves whipping to her face, whimpering and breaking down into tears once more.
?Everything I worked for?? She turned to lay on her side, curled and fetal, ?All that suffering and resisting those urges and now I just can?t do it anymore? Without you there?s no reason for me to care what happens now? I?m without you??
Lucy scrambled to her knees she moved to grip Judd?s heavy shoulders and shook him gently, screaming into his face: ?If he is alive ? that man? I?ll kill him! Judd! I?ll kill him for taking you away from me!? Her outburst had her tremble and again she fell against his body, her face pushed into his chest. ?Now I won?t know if we would ever make it? If we would ever be truly happy in this life, Judd, in this life??
Shakily she had let him go, her eyes spanning his body. Staring still in almost total disbelief that he wasn?t leaning up and bickering right on back, saying how stupid she sounded or something. Or was Lucy willing that to happen?
Now what? Had she need to tunnel him a grave? Send his body to the fire to turn to ash? To cast into the wind ? what? What would have Judd liked? All these questions and she had a body of a dead loved one before her?
?Judd?? She moved her arms under him again, lifting him up and biting her lip under the weight, adjusting the body in her arms she again held close to her chest. And within that moment Lucy?s shadow arms sunk on out from her back nearly in the most sluggish manner known to be. And they dug ? Lucy did not need to see the fast growing hole in the ground, she was watching Judd. And with an awkward position of her head towards his lips she kissed him for the longest of time before those shadow arms ? those vectors ? those instruments of death held in their grasp yet again one more body?
Lowering him into the ground? Lucy stood tall over the very edge of the grave whimpering down to the boy she fell in love with, while she herself did not wish for the hole to be covered the shadow arms almost on their own accord closed those eyes, and pushed the muck back on over to the fill the hole.
?So? cold?? Something grasped her shoulder tightly, and when she had turned to see who it was? Renna of the Dark, the Betrayer stood there. Not watching out of morbid curiosity ? not smirking ? not amused by this scene at all but in fact clad in her armour gazing off into the distance, a tear or two trickling down her unblemished cheeks.
Was Lucy grateful by this act of mercy? A little, and with the hand still grasped tightly on her shoulder she turned back to the upturned patch of earth. Purposely she fell to one knee, then on all fours ? then to lie on her stomach. Facing down? Eyes open, imagining the man she left down there looking back on up.
Renna watched in her spectral form, projected to only Lucy. She parted her lips to speak something, and in a slow, almost dark tone of voice she had spoken only to Lucy...
?Weapons do not fall in love, Lucy. It is not our purpose.?
Judd ? Lucy?s boyfriend?
Gone.
She half felt a lot of people expected for her to kill him someday with her own two hands and ironically enough, Lucy had felt those urges many times... And resisted by Will alone; she refused to kill him outright, she honestly and truly liked him and there was no denying that fact ? her actions and speech alone with him were enough to clarify this. How can you say Lucy wanted him dead when Lucy cried nearly two days straight after his ultimate demise at the hands of Zeikfried?
Lucy Ravenlock, the Queen of Shadows ? creation (or daughter) of the Betrayer, simply could not kill that one rebellious teen or push him away like she did so many others. He made her smile, he made her relaxed around even herself ? he broke that hard exterior that seemed to skitter upon the surface of Lucy Ravenlock ? Judd one boy, had made her feel totally normal, and she thanked him for it. She fell in love with him.
But now by that one simple event with the Bounty Hunter ? Zeikfried, he was gone forever. His scream would be perpetually embossed into her mind and spoken in her nightmares for many years to come. The shriek had shaken her to her very heart and it something she could never forget.
Lucy had won the fight though, but at what cost?
At what cost had Lucy spent to win the battle but loose the fight with herself? A part of her died along with that man ? a part of her that she had been trying to fix for so long.
"I'll go...ball."
That was yesterday and now this morning she stood there in the clearing of her Den like a statue, cradling the stone cold dead body of Judd in both of her trembling arms ? trails of red running down her own cold, undead cheeks; the paleness replaced with a red raw blemish of how much she had cried that night and all way through to the morning. Her grief was immeasurable.
?Judd?? That sorrowed face never left his not one moment ? the scarlet hues just half lidded from the fatigue of staying up all night and holding the dead weight of one lover close to her body. Those eyes of his? Still staring wide ? she could not bring herself to close them, they made him appear more alive than he had looked or felt; even if the eyes were distant and? Blank.
And dead?
Without warning Lucy?s knees knocked together and she fell ungraciously to the ground from the absolute exhaustion, dropping his body before her in the mud, his corpse causing her to wince and whimper as it thudded dully against the ground.
?? Judd,? She had begun slowly, but couldn?t bring herself to say nothing more than his name. She had tried to say her goodbyes ? really she had tried, but she couldn?t bring herself to do it; she simply could not say goodbye.
But she persevered.
?Judd?? A sleeve covered hand had risen to rest upon his lifeless cheek ? all color drained and gone. It was as if the blood were sucked out right from his body. Lucy and he made a matching pair now...
?? I never really meant to force you to the ball? M-maybe if? We didn?t argue about it? I?d feel better right now?? She had to suck up some of the guilt before she had returned to that same gibbering horde of tears she was moments ago, her head and her gaze had turned away and her eyelids had clenched tightly together.
?It?s my fault?? She whispered, ?My fault? If I wasn?t me then? That Hunter would not have come for me? If I had killed him the first time he came then maybe? You would be awake? Talking to me,? Lucy half smiled to herself, remembering the day her Mother had caught them in their room, a brief moment of happiness from memories as reality quickly returned. ?And really pissing Mother off? Together? And your band ? watching you play ? you watching me as you played so well ? you? Making love to me? One last time ? oh god??
Lucy fell onto her back with her sleeves whipping to her face, whimpering and breaking down into tears once more.
?Everything I worked for?? She turned to lay on her side, curled and fetal, ?All that suffering and resisting those urges and now I just can?t do it anymore? Without you there?s no reason for me to care what happens now? I?m without you??
Lucy scrambled to her knees she moved to grip Judd?s heavy shoulders and shook him gently, screaming into his face: ?If he is alive ? that man? I?ll kill him! Judd! I?ll kill him for taking you away from me!? Her outburst had her tremble and again she fell against his body, her face pushed into his chest. ?Now I won?t know if we would ever make it? If we would ever be truly happy in this life, Judd, in this life??
Shakily she had let him go, her eyes spanning his body. Staring still in almost total disbelief that he wasn?t leaning up and bickering right on back, saying how stupid she sounded or something. Or was Lucy willing that to happen?
Now what? Had she need to tunnel him a grave? Send his body to the fire to turn to ash? To cast into the wind ? what? What would have Judd liked? All these questions and she had a body of a dead loved one before her?
?Judd?? She moved her arms under him again, lifting him up and biting her lip under the weight, adjusting the body in her arms she again held close to her chest. And within that moment Lucy?s shadow arms sunk on out from her back nearly in the most sluggish manner known to be. And they dug ? Lucy did not need to see the fast growing hole in the ground, she was watching Judd. And with an awkward position of her head towards his lips she kissed him for the longest of time before those shadow arms ? those vectors ? those instruments of death held in their grasp yet again one more body?
Lowering him into the ground? Lucy stood tall over the very edge of the grave whimpering down to the boy she fell in love with, while she herself did not wish for the hole to be covered the shadow arms almost on their own accord closed those eyes, and pushed the muck back on over to the fill the hole.
?So? cold?? Something grasped her shoulder tightly, and when she had turned to see who it was? Renna of the Dark, the Betrayer stood there. Not watching out of morbid curiosity ? not smirking ? not amused by this scene at all but in fact clad in her armour gazing off into the distance, a tear or two trickling down her unblemished cheeks.
Was Lucy grateful by this act of mercy? A little, and with the hand still grasped tightly on her shoulder she turned back to the upturned patch of earth. Purposely she fell to one knee, then on all fours ? then to lie on her stomach. Facing down? Eyes open, imagining the man she left down there looking back on up.
Renna watched in her spectral form, projected to only Lucy. She parted her lips to speak something, and in a slow, almost dark tone of voice she had spoken only to Lucy...
?Weapons do not fall in love, Lucy. It is not our purpose.?