(18+ for adult content)

?More than for a little bit?? She repeated, almost breathless by the remembrance that she was, in fact, his after all. Not just for the next few hours but until he decided he didn?t want her to be anymore. There was no restraining the smile that blossomed, a brilliant thing that rivaled the warmth of the sun streaming through the eastern window. For all that the star child had grown up being compared to the moon to Alexander?s sun, Nikolai somehow brought out a sheer radiance that could have lit the dead of night. ?You?re welcome to stay as long as you need.?

Averia would gladly fight anyone that said otherwise. She was about to tell him that too when he pulled her in and stole her breath away all over again. Gone were the thoughts of standing up to whomever might try to tell her that Nick had to go and in their place were a number of increasingly troublesome ideas. Troublesome and messy. The grin that pulled her lips could be felt through the crush of his mouth to hers, impossible to dim despite a burgeoning tangle of lips and tongues. Well, maybe not impossible. She quickly found out when a heavy trio of knocks rang out against her bedroom door.

?Lady Averia? Are you awake yet?? Came a muffled call from the other side. Shortly after, the door handle jiggled. Averia?s eyes widened as she pulled back from Nick, her gaze shooting across the room first toward the door and then toward any prospective escapes. The closet and the bathroom were too far and there was no time to get Nick out through the window but the high back of the bed served as an ample blockade. Her desperation saw her grab at the front of Nick?s shirt and with a hard shove, she pushed him onto his back, swinging a leg to settle on each side of his ribcage so she could sit upright while keeping him down.

?What? I?m awake.? She called back, one petite hand dropping to cover Nikolai?s mouth without looking down at him. The door handle twisted the rest of the way and slowly it opened. Halfway open, Averia caught sight of who was calling. Olympio Emeritus was one of a number of tutors employed by Claire and Noctis to educate the twins, the whole team of which followed back and forth between Rhydin and Lucis as Averia and Alexander did. Though none lived within the New Haven manor, several lived on the grounds so it wasn?t a surprise to see him standing there.

?I thought you?d be up and moving by now. Is everything all right?? He asked, sweeping his gaze across the bit of her bedroom that he could see. ?Your bed is askew.?

?I wanted to watch the sun come up. Morning lessons are off, Alex is sick. I?ve been up taking care of him.? She lied, her hand tightening on Nick?s mouth. Not once did she look away from Olympio, mostly because she didn?t think she could keep a straight face if she looked down. The well dressed tutor frowned, looking at the young woman as if trying to decide whether that was an acceptable answer.

?You don?t want to get behind. Are you sure you don?t wish to come down for breakfast and a few lessons?? He sounded suspicious, Averia was certain of it. Her cover story was going to crumble at any moment, she had to think quickly. There were sayings about desperate times and the measures taken and so it was with only the slightest bit of guilt that she locked her eyes upon Olympio?s, swallowed once, and put the entirety of her focus into what she was about to do.

?Everything is fine but we will not be attending lessons today. You may excuse the other teachers on my mother?s authority and we will recommence tomorrow morning at the normal time.? Though her tone carried an air of authority, what she did was far more subtle. Each word came with a quiet ministration of the man?s conscious perception, subtle manipulations that when added up resulted in a slightly out of focused look from the teacher. Averia watched, feeling him out mentally to make sure her work was sound. ?Do you understand??

?I understand. You will not be attending today, the other teachers are excused, we will reconvene tomorrow morning.? His inflection had flattened out as he reflexively repeated her directions. Averia let out a soft breath of relief, her hand slackening in its hold across Nick?s mouth.

?Very good. I will see you tomorrow Sir Emeritus. Please shut the door on your way out.? She instructed. Olympio obeyed, backing up and pulling the door closed behind him. As soon as it latched, a whoosh of an exhale deflated the princess and finally brought her gaze back down to the boy she was perched upon. It was right then that she realized just how compromising of a position that was, her cheeks flushing with crimson as she pulled her hand away. ?Um? sorry.?

It was simply a few knocks, but Nick reacted like someone had just fired a shotgun. He had a quick vision of just that, someone decidedly parental on the other side of the door with aims to keep trouble, named Nick, from their Averia. His heart started to pound at his ribcage even as Averia pushed him down and pinned him into place. She knew him too well. Why else would she put her hand over his mouth if not to keep him from coming clean? At first he tried not to struggle. This would have been a simple thing until he noticed exactly what their positions were. It only took a moment, but he did try to change it if only for her sake.

The more he tried to change things the tighter she seemed to hold on. That too would have been fine if it were simply her hand. Nick found out first hand the strength of Avy?s legs as she (likely by instinct) adjusted her grip as she would a skittish horse. One thing that was a relief, though some part of him said he was a fool, she?d at least switched to a slightly longer skirt. He had his doubts that he could have kept any focus if she hadn?t. He looked up at her with dark eyes that had gone wide. That reaction came as he watched her do a thing she?d rarely done.

Nick tried a little harder to sit up, he?d rather be caught than see her get into worse trouble for that. No, that wasn?t quite true. He?d have rather that she hadn?t needed to in order to be able to spend the time with her that they both wanted. This wasn?t the same as convincing his father that he hadn?t really been grounded, even if it was just as much for him. It was something he hadn?t expected. He knew it was wrong, at least in principle, but there was something about her that made him not care in the least. She was dominating poor Olympio, she was commanding and powerful and? so damn sexy doing it.

Nick stopped his attempts to break free as that final thought washed over him. If he couldn?t stop it, and truthfully he hadn?t tried nearly as hard as he should have. He could at least take advantage of their position. Avy?s performance was commendable, he could detect no hint of a falter in her as his hand ran along the outside of her thigh. That was something that her thoroughbreds would never be able to do. Sorry, she had said to him at last. Nick just gave a slight shake of his head, lip pinned between his teeth. ?I?m not.?

The tension that rose in her thigh in the wake of the pass of his hand was the only telltale sign that the touch had registered. She had to force herself not to think about it, not to give in to the need to shiver. As soon as the door shut and she looked down, it suddenly became incredibly difficult to think. After a few moments though she managed a mischievous smile tinged with a touch of shyness.

?I just didn?t think the first time I?d be on top of you I would be smothering you with my hand to keep someone from finding out you were here.? It was the truth at the very least, even if it sounded uncharacteristically inappropriate coming from Averia. She should have moved to let him up, it was the right thing to do, wasn?t it? It was, but she didn?t move from her throne, no matter how temporary it may have been. ?But I think I bought us more time.?

?Are you telling me that I can?t be too loud, when you?re on top of me I mean.? Where that comment had come from he didn?t know. Somewhere in the back of his mind where he thought about that kind of thing often most likely. She probably should have kept her hand over his mouth to keep it in. He?d blame it on other things, like the feel of her well toned thigh when she tightened it against his touch. Nick had half expected her to move when the door had closed. She hadn?t yet, and that was probably a recipe for trouble if he?d ever seen one.

Nodding and losing himself once more in her smile, he knew she?d bought them time. Time for what was the question he was asking. Nick knew what he wanted, but maybe that too had a lot to do with where she was perched. There were still a thousand subjects to talk over, maybe only two or three, but he was drawing a blank on those. That was more of a relief than even getting to say the things he wanted to about them. He tried to coax her down to his level again, a hand to her back and gentle if greedy pressure meant to give her the cue. ?You bought the time, what are you going to do with me now??

She was quite suddenly at a loss for words, rosy cheeked and trying not to choke on the remnants of whatever clever comeback she might have had for him. Her breath caught in her chest, somewhere between the hammering beats of her heart and when she finally answered it was with a girlish giggle and an aversion of her eyes. ?That?s not exactly what I meant, but now that you put it that way, yes. Maybe. Perhaps. For now at least.?

It took very little persuading and pressure to the small of her back to draw her down but positioned as she was, it made for quite the awkward curl of her spine. A shimmy of her legs along his sides helped remedy it, bringing her to sit a little lower on his frame so that she could properly lean down toward him. Her smile grew with each inch she came closer until it was a full grin for a fraction of a second before she touched a kiss to the very tip of his nose. ?That?s a good question? I hadn?t exactly considered that but, um, I?m open to suggestions.?

Leave it to Averia to find a way to distract him away from herself. It might have been his fault, overestimating exactly how much she could bend. That didn?t stop the sensation of her legs moving along his sides from causing his heart to miss a beat, or the sudden swallow he couldn?t quite stop. Anywhere else, and he?d have used his sudden confusion to do something spectacular. They were essentially trapped in a room where he didn?t have tricks to fall back on. He?d started this, figuring that it would end with his cheekiness.

Nick had a suggestion, even opened his mouth to try and say it aloud but his face betrayed him turning red and pulling his mouth closed soundlessly. In true fashion he fell back to action over words, holding onto Averia and rolling them both over with a twist of his hips and torso. He searched her face, looking for anything that might stop him. She could, he knew that about her, if not using her mind then physically, though a word would suffice. The voice of Alex, that had somehow become his conscience was cut off promptly by his own telling it to shut the **** up. ?Just one that comes to mind.? The words finally falling free a bare breath before he kissed her again, hoping there would be no knocking interruptions this time.

Her first instinct was to adjust as he rolled in order to keep from toppling but then it clicked in her head that she needed to go with the motion. In much the same way she may have when jumping from a rooftop to the ground below, she rolled with him, relaxing until she was beneath him. There she was breathless once more, caught at a loss for words, and stuck in a predicament she didn?t quite know how to handle. The unshakeable Averia Caelum was thoroughly out of her element and for once, she didn?t hate that fact.

Neither protest on her part nor knocking interruptions came but rather she tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth and tried not to grin around it. ?Just one?? She mumbled teasingly as she released her hold on his lip and slipped her arms around him.

What came next, she never expected. A slow burn that built into a tangle of limbs, a collision of bodies that was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It was a morning of firsts for them both, equal parts awkward and uncomfortable, sensual and exhilarating. Imperfect, but perfectly so. It may not have been just like in the movies or how it was supposed to go in her head, there was no candle light and sweet nothings, no perfectly in tune rhythm that overrode the awkwardness, but there was Averia and there was Nick and that was all she needed. For just a little while there was no worry of diplomacy lessons and weapons training, royal politics and the less than subtle conversations about the sort of arrangements expected of someone of her station.

Weak, he had died, bled out bit by bit and not felt this weariness to his body. Still joined with the dark haired beauty that was Averia, Nick slumped, his body still over her but there was nothing that was keeping his weight even partially from resting on her now. No elbows and knees, or stiff armed press of the mattress, there was only Nick, and Averia. His body spent, his head resting on her shoulder, Nick?s lips found the will to press loving kisses along her neck. There were things he probably needed to say, but being in her arms was enough. It was heaven and that was more than he deserved. ?This is going to sound stupid, but, I?ve loved you Averia. Before this, before coming back. Before going, but none of that was clear to me until I was without you. Until I was realizing it, and there was nothing I could do about it.? Nick drew breath, it was like breathing new life into the fires within him. ?You don?t have to feel the same. But I walked through death for this. Time?s too short for me to think I have the time to say it.?

The onslaught of new sensations proved too much to bear, racking a fresh shudder through her frame beneath him. She clung to him as if she might drift into the sky and fade away for as high as she felt in the moment. He had filled her with the sweet ache of a battle well won. His weight over top of her was a comforting thing, bearable if it meant having him near. She didn?t want him to move so she could still savor the feeling of him even as motion became stillness and panted breaths. Her shaking arms wrapped him up, holding him to her as he peppered her neck with kisses that, for all of their heat, induced little chills down her spine.

?Nick, Niko, Nikolai.? She hummed each variation as if it were the most glorious of hymns, salvation born of her tongue and left to tickle the edge of his ear with her words. ?Look at what you?ve done. You?ve made a mess of me. And you know what?? Averia smiled, her eyes closing as her body slowly relaxed. Slipping her hand down his arm, she sought his hand to lift it and set it over her sternum, pressing just enough for him to feel the thump of her heart. ?Ninety per minute. Five hundred forty per hour. Twelve thousand, nine hundred sixty per day. One million, one hundred fourteen thousand, five hundred sixty in the time you were gone alone. Each beat for you. It?s always been you, my love.?

Nick loved the sound of his name coming from her in any form. She was right though, he had made a mess of her. Head to toe he?d done his best to leave her less than perfect to those who had higher expectations from her. He looked at her, a smile playing with his mouth. She was perfect though, a disheveled mess that had begun in pristine condition. There was no better mark that said she was his, in his mind. He?d begun this knowing that there was always something special about Avy for him. It?d just seemed friendship, even if it was different than anyone else he?d call friend. It had grown as he realized that she was out of reach for him. She?d been that before, but it was always temporary. The Lucis weeks, difficult as they were, they did end, bringing them back to him.

These thoughts and more careened through his skull as he lay there atop Averia. She?d made him chuckle by using his words against him. She?d done so much more by offering him the word that he?d been needing, but unable to show her properly. Unless you count the wanton abandon they?d displayed for one another. Nick knew the truth, and it was beautiful. ?Can you get away today? Not now, later. I don?t want this to end right now. I?ll need to go to the forge, I don?t want to do that alone. I?ll need someplace to stay until I?m ready to go there.? It was just one more thing he didn?t want to do alone. If Averia wouldn?t go, perhaps Alex would. Someone needed to.

?Yes.? She said without hesitation. Where once she may have waffled on whether such a thing was feasible, there was a conviction in her answer that said she wouldn?t let him down. As her hand rubbed along his back, grazing welts and skin alike, she turned her mouth to touch a soft and lingering kiss to his temple. She could taste his sweat on her lips, a reminder of the passion he had poured into what was likely the best sort of trouble he had ever got her into.

?You can stay with us as long as you need, you know that. We?re here.? Mumbling the assurance against his skin, the edge of her index finger traced a particularly intense scratch with equal parts pride and regret. He was hers, she had no doubt about it, so why did the mark upon him tug a private smile across her lips. She was still trying to figure that out when she pushed his hair from his forehead. ?But I?ll need a shower first? once my legs start working again??

Nick?s eyes shut at her affirmative answer. He needed the kiss she pressed against him. Needed the words to tell him that he had a place to go if he needed it. He needed them all, wasn?t sure what he?d ever done to earn them but was grateful to have them all the same. Her lingering attentions to his back may have made him aware of the depth of her clawing. Her touch stung a bit, but it was a nice thing, something he wore like a badge. More importantly it had come from her hands. There was nothing those hands could do to him physically that he wouldn?t wear with some pride.

Nick reluctantly slipped from his place and laid on his side. ?You can shower, or we can.? He moved in closer to her, wrapping still shaky arms around her. He pressed his lips to her, they could feel the heat even through her damp and tangled hair. ?I may stay here for a while, long enough to figure out what I?m supposed to do now, and then arrange to do it.? He could have gone to Belglade, but it seemed so far away from him now. He was certain he?d be welcomed there, yet selfish as he knew it was. Avy wasn?t there, she was here. ?I haven?t even begun to consider what I tell people about my going missing.? He wasn?t even sure if there was anything he needed to know before heading back into the real world.

A soft hiss turned into a low groan as he slid off of her. It made her feel woefully cold and no sooner was he on his side did she turn toward him to savor his warmth once more. Each movement resulted in a dull ache within her muscles, a pleasant reminder of what he had done to her. She closed her eyes and nestled against him, content despite her proclaimed need to clean up.

?We?ll figure it out, whatever you need.? She said softly, lifting her chin to look up at him. Though she had grown up looking at him, it didn?t compare to the fond look she wore as she traced every line of his face, memorizing every plane and contour until he was etched in that moment upon her mind forever. After a few moments, she quirked a hesitantly shy smile, a blush creeping back into her cheeks before she got the chance to pose her follow up. ?You, um, can come with me? if you want? um, to the shower, that is.?

Someone would figure it out, though the we part of that could only indicate Alex in his mind. Nick didn?t believe anyone but the twins knew he was there. If they had known, then the entire morning would?ve been different. How his friend would take what happened he could only speculate. Bad was the word that came to mind considering their conversation on the way back to the manor. He was moving at the first bit of tension from Averia?s pull. He had no idea what he was looking for down there, maybe an answer to a question he had no words for. His eyes drifted over her, for once not caring that she might see him. Things were different now, even if they hadn?t really changed all that much.

Distance from the shop eased the feeling in the pit of his stomach, and the ache in his chest. Nick freed her hand in favor of putting an arm around her instead. It was a life of ironies, she made him feel like the world was his. Not so strange really, he?d always known she was a bright spot even when his life seemed to be all good things. Having his own things, just a few of them really, was another positive in the here and now. Nick had only just understood how good it was to be in his own shoes. ?We?re not in that big a hurry are we? I am growing kind of fond of this pace. I?ve got a lot of time to make up for, ya know? Months, years even.? Nick used any excuse to look at Averia, to touch her. Stand and waiting for a traffic signal so they cross that was a good time to kiss her.

?Years? Why years?? She asked softly. Bashful in a way she couldn?t quite account for, she hid the smile across her face with a dip of her chin. Every other step bumped her hip against his, a comfortable sort of thing despite its awkwardness. For all that she was a hurry up and go, go, go, sort of girl, there was something soothing about the leisurely pace he so claimed to be enjoying. Her worry about the consequences of everything was easily pushed aside at the stoplight when his mouth touched hers, once more sending her heart into a tizzy at much the same time her stomach decided to do flips. It was a feeling she wasn?t sure she would ever get used to. It also served as a jarring point of contrast for the overwhelming wave that washed over her all at once. The light changed, encouraging them to walk but all of the sudden there was no moving her feet. It was as though the whole world crumbled all at once, like a cord in the distance had snapped and she was only now feeling the reverberations. Without realizing it her hands had tightened on the front of his shirt, her mouth drawn from his when she couldn?t breathe.

?I? Nick?? His name ached on her tongue. Averia brought a hand up, her fingers touching to her cheek, wet with tears that had no discernible source. From there they brushed across her lips, leaving a streak of saltiness that meant little when compared the lingering imprint of his mouth on hers. It was like a double exposure, the clearer image of his kiss layered over a ghost of the same, an echo of what was. Breathe Averia, she reminded herself, forcing herself to exhale through the crushing grief that wasn?t meant to be her own. ?Addie??

Understanding took its time to click into place. Nick wondered what he?d done wrong, maybe he was pushing too hard. Maybe she was finally starting to regret what they?d shared. Watching Averia cry was like the knife in his chest once more. Despair when she?d said his name was almost enough to have him apologizing, though he wasn?t sure what he was sorry for. It was the last word that locked into place what was happening. He wasn?t sure if he?d ever seen it before, not like this at least. Two days, or nearly that at least, was about what it had been before. He?d gone back, and missed the event by about the same. It wasn?t something he?d expected to witness, somewhere in the bliss they?d found he?d forgotten that she would know soon.

Nick?s arms were around her at once. His voice in her ear trying to soothe her, to tell her that he was here. That Addie would be all right, though that was something he didn?t really know for sure. He believed it though, she was stronger than she had been before she?d left them. ?I know, I?m sorry.? How long would it last? The moment, the memory of it, were they fleeting or something Avy would need to carry like the pack over her shoulder? He hated what he?d done to them both, if only he could have found another way that made as much sense he?d have taken it. There were tears in his eyes as he thought about Addie, alone on a rooftop with the shell of him. ?I hurt her bad? and now you? just don?t hate me for it.?

Her fingers clutched at his shirt, tightening and relaxing repeatedly as she tried to calm herself down. It was such an overwhelming thing though that it made her head spin and her heart lodge in her throat. Her legs shook and briefly she worried they may give out on her. Such a change from only a few hours prior when she giggled and blushed over such a thing. Try as she might, she couldn?t force her lungs to take in enough air, each sharp inhale and puff of an exhale serving only to exacerbate her panic. The past two times she had been drowned in emotions that weren?t her own they had come with the sudden start of her own consciousness into the realization that briefly, however short that may have been, that Adelaide?s had ceased. A breath, just a breath, maybe two even, that was all it took each time but it was enough to widen her eyes and tense every muscle in her body in anticipation.

?Gods, I can?t breathe,? she murmured, waiting. But whatever she waited for never came. There was no sudden stop to the pain, rather it tapered to a dull, indecipherable ache, a longing in her soul that seemed far from sated if such a thing were possible. For all that it still hurt, it was a strange sort of relief because it meant simply that she was alive. Addie survived whatever had wrenched Averia?s heart so suddenly. Though her lip quivered and her hands shook as she dropped them from his chest, she managed to take a deeper breath and after exhaling it, took a second and a third. ?She shouldn?t be alone? I?m gonna kill Kane for leaving her alone??

?She won?t be alone for long. I? Her mother?s there, she?s got Ro, and the squad and your mom and my dad.? There were others that would be there for her. ?Everything will be okay. She just needs to be able to reach out.? Nick hoped that she would, there was no guarantee to any of it. She did have a support system if she only chose to take it. There were words he hadn?t said, that she might pick up on. No mention of her own father, and Nick still wasn?t sure what the real issue between them was. He had Addie?s take on it, it was the only one he needed.

His fingers touched her face, wiping at the track of tears that stained it. ?I wish there were a way to tell her that everything is okay. She told me she doesn?t have the same kind of connection though. Might have something to do with who you are, or you know the way you can get into people?s minds.? He looked at the place her hands had just abandoned. He could still feel the outline of them on him. It only made him miss their presence that much more. ?Maybe she?ll figure it out someday.? He would stand there with Averia forever if she needed him to. ?Is that how it always is?? Nick needed to know if only so that he could be better prepared the next time.

?But she?s a step out of time. She isn?t meant to be there. Her very presence alone in such a time creates a paradox in and of itself. And that prick left her alone.? It wasn?t often that such vitriol spilled from her lips. Unlike her mother, she had learned to temper the fire on her tongue and formulate her anger into more articulate words but this, this was something else. Her chest still hurt as her lungs worked to replenish her blood with oxygen anew but some of it she was certain was the lingering ache of a strained connection. There were missing names on the list, ones that she noted to ask him about later, but there were also names on the list he gave that weren?t here. His father and Addie?s mother first and foremost. It threatened to choke her up again but she managed to tamp it down with a series of deep breaths.

?I don?t think that I could get to her from so far? if she were closer maybe but she?s just? seventeen years is a long time, Nick.? Her chin lowered as she looked down at her hands. Averia had turned both of them palm up, searching the lines until she found just what she was looking for. Her left hand turned over to point to her right palm. Where the rest of the lines in her hand went with the motion of the muscles, a single straight line stood out amongst the rest. It would have been easy to miss but up close it soon became clear that it was a scar rather than her skin?s natural contouring. Averia didn?t scar. She pointed it out with her left index finger. ?We didn?t know how it would work when we tried to make the bond? I still don?t really understand it but the best that I can guess is that it formed an empathic blood link. Together it?s quite strong but this far apart, it?s like? echoes, I guess. Only the really intense things make it through. That one? that one wasn?t as bad as the others? but those I thought I may very well die.?

?He did leave her alone. I don?t pretend to understand it, or him, except that in a way I left her alone too.? Different reasons and motivations. He did that for her as much as for himself, probably more so. Had he known that he?d be standing here with Averia, then Nick would have told that to Addie. ?Maybe it?s inevitable though, there is not here and hasn?t been here since long before Addie went back.? Time was convoluted, a morass that could cloud his mind but he had come to understand that much at least. There was not here, which he believed was the issue of returning.

He looked at the line she pointed to, something he?d not noticed before. Then again he hadn?t been this close to her before and been comfortable looking at her. It would have given too much away, to both of them. ?It?s going to be all right, I think Addie needs the link to work that way. She knows that you?re better able to handle what comes than she would be if the reverse were true. She does get things, sometimes. I don?t think it?s like what I just saw though. I can?t imagine what it?s been like for you, if that one wasn?t so bad? or not like the others at least.? Nick was now starting to see why Avy had needed someone to do something. He dropped his bag and held onto her, not caring who saw or what they might think about it. ?I?ll be here for the next time, and the one after that.?

?Your reasons were different. From what your letters implied, he was alive and well.? She muttered darkly, still stewing on just how many different ways she would have made the man suffer had she been close enough to get her hands on him. It set her jaw into a tense line, her brows furrowing. The tension bled into a frown as she finally looked back up at him. How could be all right. Addie was seventeen literal years away and Averia could do nothing to help her. Her only attempt had ended with Nick?s father dead, Nick dead and then not, and Addie evidently devastated.

?I can take it. I can handle it, it?s fine. I just? I was scared that? that something had happened. That we gave up everything only for it to all be for nothing. I laid my hand out and it wasn?t good enough?? The words caught in her throat, cracking with the shudder of a breath. Her teeth worked against her bottom lip, her countenance set harder than steel. How did she have the right to be happy, to bask in Nick?s return, when her best friend was a world away, lost to her grief. Averia swallowed and set her eyes on his. ?Maybe there?s another way. I can find it.?

?I?m sure there?s another way. I?m just not so sure that Addie will want to come.? Nick wasn?t ignoring what she?d said. Her words had been an echo of his own thoughts. ?That doesn?t mean I don?t want you to try. By all means try, I?ll be there for that too. Just go into it knowing that Addie?s been adapting to her time and place, there?s as many things to keep her there now as there are here. Things she won?t have here are still there. In some strange way, we?ve lost her, but she hasn?t really lost us.? He hoped he was making sense. He?d been there and seen that Addie managed to be happy, for the most part. There were things that might draw her here, but what would the repercussions be to bringing someone from the past forward?

?I?ll help you find it if I can, a way there that won?t bring an army down on us.? Maybe it had to happen from someplace that wasn?t Rhydin? Yet another good question. Someone probably knew a way, but they likely weren?t telling. That was the real factor, the biggest obstacle to them. He really would do anything for Averia, anything except leave her, or let her go without him. ?Have you got something in mind already??

?But? why wouldn?t she? We?re here. Her friends, her family? it?s us? it?s always been us, Nick?? She looked up at him, her eyes wide. In the moment she looked younger than her eighteen years, just a girl who didn?t understand where her best friend had gone. Averia didn?t make friends easily. It was hard when she and her brother were shuttled back and forth between realms and the little time they did get was spent doing what was expected of her. In Lucis she was untouchable, placed high upon a pedestal to be admired but never handled. She was the future of the kingdom, a queen to be, the chosen of the Astrals to lead her people. Alex may have carried the Lucis name but she the next of the Lucii. In Rhydin she could pretend she was normal but even there she was weird by most standards. Too quiet, too shy, too prone to getting into people?s heads. Born and bred of a well known face in the community but never quite living up to the radiant light her mother cast upon all who came near. Averia was the moon, content to reflect her light under sparing circumstances, and if she were the moon, Addie was the sea that Averia called to her, a constant companion and a contented give and take.

?No? I don?t?? Avy frowned. The tide had never been lower. Though she had hinted at it, she didn?t want to say aloud that sending Nick and Kruger had been her Hail Mary of sorts and all it had done was get them both killed. Only by the grace of, well, her brother, did she get Nikolai back. How much more could she give? She licked her lips and took a deep breath, her lungs still aching from the panic of moments before. ?But I?ll find a way. Somehow.?

?I don?t know? Addie?s the same, but not the same. She?s been through more than even I know. She?s probably torn in two directions at once. Hard to say which side will pull her to it.? It was the best explanation Nick could give. Avy?s momentary lapse into an earlier version of herself had him wanting to remind her of who she was now, to erase the disappointments and anxieties that seemed to have captured her. He entwined his fingers with hers, and slid both hands behind her back. He wanted nothing to come between them as he held her close until the determination returned to her.

?You?ll figure it out, I believe that you above anyone else are the only one capable of it.? What would it take though? How much of Averia would it require. He wouldn?t try to stop her. If anything Nick wanted her to succeed, but she might need him to distract her from the quest from time to time. He?d use every tool he was given in order to accomplish that. His world had grown smaller since he?d been gone, the girl in his arms had become its center. ?I?ll be there with you when you do.?

?Mmh,? she made a sound in her throat to acknowledge his answer. It was a feeling she knew well even if she seldom spoke of it. Though Kruger?s death had been a blow, she had had several months to come to terms and tuck it away, perfectly compartmentalized to those looking in, but after losing Serah years prior, she knew the sting of grief. It had a nasty habit of sneaking up when she least expected it. He wasn?t wrong either, she knew she looked like she had been through Hell and back and truthfully she had, but anything she said to him would assuredly get back to the twins and that was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

?Do you remember when you kids were little and you?d play that the floor was lava so you had to hop all over the furniture instead? The entire floor is butterflies, same for the walls, the ceiling, and the furniture. Every step you take can change everything and it?s certainly no game.? Claire sighed, unfolding her arms to tuck her thumbs into her pockets. ?Those are both options, yes. I know some things but there are blanks, sure. I know that if I stare at you long enough you?ll start rambling. But as intent as I am to hear it, I?ve been up for forty-eight hours and would like to see my pillow sooner rather than later. So let?s start with this, did you accomplish what you set out to do??

Nick?s eyes traveled around the room, he looked at it differently now remembering the leaps from couch to plush chair. She was right about that too, he couldn?t deny it. Who knew what thing he might do that would start time careening to the left or right once more? At least they?re our butterflies. He looked at her, she did look tired. At least he?d managed a few hours just after dawn. ?I think this way works pretty well.? Nick considered her question, not so much looking for a way to leave things out as trying to figure out what had been the original goal.

?No, I managed to do one part of the original goal. I made sure that Addie was okay. The check on her part, but?? Parts of this were going to be hard for Nick to admit. He was talking now, for whatever that was worth, he wasn?t one to stop. He leaned forward, elbows finding knees and looked at Averia?s mother. ?I didn?t leave her safer, and I couldn?t bring her back with me. I?m pretty sure I made a mess, or maybe a lot of little messes that amount to the same thing.? Nick?s gaze dropped to his hands, one of those rising to push through his hair. When it returned to her, he was wearing what should be a familiar look at me grin. ?But I accomplished a few things too. No question about that. I just hope I got the last one right. The one just as Addie sssaid goodbye to me.?

As he looked about, her gaze remained steadfast upon him with the ever present weight of what could only be judgment. It held notes of concern and fatigue in equal parts, spread thin over a framework of nearly twenty years of knowing the young man before her. To her he was still just a kid, as much her responsibility as the twins upstairs. He answered and she rocked onto her toes then settled back on her heels. ?Any time we play with time, we run the risk of making messes. More often than not, that?s exactly what happens and it is why I told Averia and Alexander for so long that we couldn?t go after Adelaide. Already the times deviate enough, it was,--and still is,-- quite possible that the time Addie is in will no longer align with this one and we will never see her again.?

Because, you know, the kids didn?t already feel bad enough about what had happened. Claire?s cheeks puffed then deflated as she exhaled slowly, steadying her thoughts and her hands to cool her head and her words. ?She was sent for a reason? she would be dead by now if she hadn?t been. The Darkwing boy too. At this point? I?m not even sure she would want to come back.? It spoke volumes about what she didn?t want to say and in the moment time seemed to catch up to her, weighing her shoulders down and darkening the circles around her eyes. ?What was the last one??

Nick?s foot pulled back towards the seat, and his heel began to tap. That question was less simple to answer for him. He pressed his hand against the arm of the chair and pushed himself up quickly, suddenly feeling the need to look at things in the room that he?d seen countless times before. He ran his fingers along the mantle over the fireplace, letting the pads follow the carved lines. ?She had something that attached itself to her. It had been slowly taking her into darker places. The last thing I tried to do was free her of it. I don?t know if it worked or not. I wouldn?t know how to tell honestly, not from here at least.? He wasn?t looking at her as he spoke, knowing that he would give away the how just in his expression. ?That was two days ago or so, the last time I saw her. At the very least she didn?t try to do the thing that had caused it in the first place. So maybe that?s something.?

Nick let his hand fall away from the mantle, and shoved it into his pocket. It wasn?t quite enough to hide the clench of his hand. Jeans were over rated, but they did have a few advantages that his looser style lacked. ?I don?t like lying, Aunt Claire, or talking in half truths. I just think that some things have less power if they?re known. Somewhere there?s a you that already knows everything, or at least the important parts.? He turned then, looking for her, his smile had long since disappeared and the lesser known serious expression was on his face. ?I don?t know if that makes sense to you. I had to go a long way, in order to get here. When I began, this is the last place I expected to be.?

?Attached to her. Hmm.? Behind her lips her tongue ran over her teeth thoughtfully. He got up to pace and still she remained in the same spot, her gaze following him and his fidgeting. It was just as she figured, if she gave him enough time his mouth would get to going and she wouldn?t need to ask many questions. It was precisely why she had sent Averia away. Divide and conquer.

?It makes sense. It does. That I don?t know it in its entirety tells me quite a bit as well. We, each of us, exists in an infinite number of moments. Hop a line or two and you could be an entirely different person. It?s why it becomes such a precarious thing to mess with it all?? Her lips pursed to prevent a frown. ?When your letters came I thought that perhaps you?d make it back. And then I saw the look on Averia?s face when she read the first and I feared the worst. But you?re here. We?ll deal with whatever may come. Now, Niko, what else do I need to know??

?That you were right I suppose, to fear. Given the same options, I can?t see myself making any other choices. Of course, that?s really just this me isn?t it? I?m more concerned with how I am here. That?s the thing to watch for really, that the balance has remained. Even if that makes this life a borrowed one. I?ll make the most of it.? If this were a different time, a different Claire he?d have asked for something strong. ?I haven?t asked much, Avy said that my father is with Annabeth, so thank you for that. I was hoping to go the next time you go. There?s a lot of things I still need to say, even if he can?t hear me.?

He might be trying to change the subject before names were extracted along with the deeds that had been done. It might even work, if she were tired enough. ?I?ve had time, so it?s not quite so fresh, until I go someplace that he?s supposed to be. I stayed away from him there, for one reason and then another. At first, I just couldn?t look at him, then I didn?t have any idea what I would say. Hey? you don?t know me but? In the end, I kind of knew he?d try to stop me in the most ridiculous way possible. I couldn?t let that happen either, cuz I needed him growing up. I guess, I just went with the next best thing. Addie, and a few others.? Nick didn?t say her name, and now he was starting to understand a little more about that too. He did look at her and chew on his lip once more. ?That?s pretty heavy? Someone needs to tell a joke.? Where was Alex when he needed him to say something completely inappropriate?

?I wouldn?t expect you to. Nor your father. I could have stopped you both if I thought it would be better that way.? She said frankly, her cheek caught between her teeth as the ground back and forth. Hesitant as she was to ask her next question, it had to be done. Claire sighed. ?Which one did it? Did Averia bring you home??

There was a balance to look after and debts that were created when such things were done. If one of the twins had been the one to bring him back, Claire had to take steps to counteract the effects, lest her children be forced to pay for things they might not understand. Still she tried not to worry Nikolai, the boy had enough on his plate. That he already knew about his father?s ultimate fate and even her visits to the smith made her curious but there was time later to figure it out. ?He may not have known you yet but a parent always knows. Always. But to lose him twice? I suppose I cannot say that I blame you there. You?ve a lot of your father in you like that.? Freeing a hand from her pocket she pushed it through her hair, working through tangles and who knows what else. ?You?ll have to forgive my lacking humor? it?s been a long couple of days.?

?Wouldn?t that just put Avy and Alex in danger if you interfered? Not what I would want, or my father. He?d have just waited til your back was turned and do something anyway.? There was another question in him about the whole thing, or at least the end of it. ?The thing I would want to know is? how he knew. I didn?t let anyone know that it was happening until the final letter, and that should have come too late to stop me. I never said where I was going.? He?d managed to answer her question, without giving up names. How many he?s could Nick possibly be referring to?

?I don?t expect you to laugh, Aunt Claire. It?s not really funny.? There was at least one question she hadn?t asked, one he wasn?t sure he was ready to answer. Why he?d chosen that road. Perhaps she just chalked it up to him being an Allen and that was reason enough? Reality, he was like his father, but his motivations were different. ?Is there more that you have to ask?? He peered at the door they?d come through, wanting to be through it. Some part of him though was always going to wait for the next question.

?Keeping you from going to begin with wouldn?t have impacted them.? Claire?s eyes narrowed, the cogs turning. Just what did he know about her choices and how they could hurt the twins. But her curiosity gave way to a flicker of devastation. Alexander. Her precious wild child, of course he would be the one to do it. Avy was much too careful. ?Damnit.? She hissed through her teeth, her gaze ticking toward the ceiling. ?Damnit, damnit, damnit.?

Deep breath. In, out. The whys of things were trivial, what mattered was that it was done. In. Out. ?I?m sure I?ll have more questions once my brain is working properly.? And she?s had a chance to tan Alex?s hide. She didn?t say that though. ?But for now you?re free to go? and Niko? If you?d like to stay here while you re-acclimate, you?ve always got a place. Okay??

?Some things about you don?t change no matter what time or place. Not just your face I mean. Not the questions either. Thank you, even if I?m not really sure what I did to deserve it.? Much as he wanted to get back to his friends, there was likely to be a little hell to pay for giving up information again. ?I?m thinking that Alex is going to be a little upset next time he sees me. Still, tell him I?ll be out front uhm? on the stairs.? That was probably code for doing dangerous things on them.

?I have one regret, I never did find out if I made her proud.? That was about all the sentiment he could take for a while. Nick hurried toward the door, glad that Claire hadn?t asked the hardest question of all. That would probably come later, after she?d had the chance to make her brain work properly. He didn?t want to hide it from her, but there?d been enough revelations for one talk. Not surprisingly, none of those had come from her.