Topic: There's always a hitch...

Jake G

Date: 2017-08-15 23:37 EST
It was a long walk out of Rhy'din proper, a trek started in the deepest part of the night when Jake stole out of the dojo on silent, sneakered feet. It was nearing sunrise when he saw his first signs of another traveler, an ironic turn of fate that saw a semi heavily laden with logs rumbling along from the direction he had come from. His thumb was out by the time the driver got a better view of him and reduced speed before idling to a halt. The door opened to another stereotype in the form of a long beard, tall ball cap, and lots of flannel.

"Where you headed, son?" The man asked in an odd drawl, clearly not southern.

"Marshton."

"Boy, that's some six, seven hundred likes from here."

"Get me as close as you can and I'm good for a meal on me before I put boots on the road again. Sound fair?"

"Suit yourself, kid. Hop in."

Everything he owned but his truck and his boards had been loaded into that heavy duffle, the sawed-off shotgun hidden away from sight. The pack was tossed in before he climbed up and then stowed it, settling into the high passenger seat.

"What's out in Marshton, anyway?"

"Freedom and opportunity." The words sounded good, but they lacked any real conviction and tasted like ash in his mouth.

In almost eighteen years, Jake had been a lot of fights. He'd lost some, so the idea wasn't new to him.

This was just the first one he had ever run away from.




A single note and a set of keys had been left on his bed in the dojo:


An opportunity recently presented itself outside of the city. I'm taking it. With the potential cost of materials for the trip home, every penny will be needed so I'll be sending whatever I don't need to get by back to the dojo for the effort. I still have the cell but I removed the tracker. Don't call if it's not an emergency but you should be fine. You have a wealth of people close with better skill sets for dealing with trouble and will do fine without me.

Don't let the truck fall out of repair.

If you give my board away, make sure it goes to a good home.

Deadward, you're in charge. Make good choices.

Yunni, don't get hurt or grounded.

Clara, above all, be happy. Be you.

Love you,

Jacob

Jake G

Date: 2017-08-20 20:45 EST
The letter arrived by private courier, in a stiff express envelope and with the name Ms. Clara Estelle Wyatt. It was labeled as ?Private Legal Documents? as to prevent too much tampering from some of the dojo?s other residents. Within was a single page of notebook paper within, the words written in Jake?s familiar messy scrawl, stained at the corners with cigarette ash and drops of what must have been coffee; that and a dandelion.

Twinkle,

You don?t get to make me feel guilty for my anger or for being hurt. Nothing you?ve done gives you the right. All I heard that night was you making excuses for doing whatever you want. You said you didn?t want to complicate things? If that was true, things never would have gone as far as they did, not those nights on the beach. Not the night at the cabin. There was nothing simple about that when you already knew how I felt. If it was just a cheap thrill, I wouldn?t have held you all night long. And how many times have I? You said you thought this might be a reason to get out and enjoy my freedom? Isn?t that what our time here has been? No parents. No rules. No obligations. Did you really think that we could go home and be all hand-holding cuteness knowing you were leap frogging from guy to guy? I guess I should be glad I didn?t have to hear details. You said he asked first. Was that before our impromptu prom night? Before I took you from your room, lost and lonely, to a place you?d find comfort? Did you forget when I told E not to worry because we were going on a date? What was fair to me didn?t sound like it ever occurred to you, that or you just assumed that in my ?freedom? I?d be happy to stick my dick in anything that moved. I thought you knew me better. And I could have understood being a choice. You turned me into an option.

Despite all of that, I still love you stupid fierce. Despite all that, I didn?t leave because of you.

I left FOR you.

And for me.

As long as this is going on, as long as I?m feeling this way, you?ll never get a fair shot at being happy with your choice. Because I?m me. I?ll be a dick about it. You don?t need my shitty commentary any more than I need a reminder of things. My presence would be more uncomfortable than my absence. I?d chase him away or I?d chase you away, simply being who I am. E and Yunni are better than that. They?d be more supportive. I?m supporting your choice now the only way I can.

This is for me too. I need to find myself and it only took a day or two away from it all, away from all of this, to think maybe this would have been the right decision even if things had been different. I can?t say for sure. You accused me of not wanting to go home. That isn?t true. I can?t go home like this. Like I am. I?ve spent most of my life feeling incomplete, like there?s a part of myself I?m missing. Not the sort of emptiness a person fills, though you filled up my heart with something great. It?s something else. I need to find it. I need to figure out who I?m supposed to be. I couldn?t find it back home. Maybe I?ll find it out here. Or I won?t. I still have to try.

I feel like a ****ing moron for saying this, but I don?t feel any less for you than I did a week ago. I just can?t be there right now. Or soon. But if you need me, I?ll come. I told you I?d always come for you. It wasn?t just a cheeky joke. If you needed me, really needed me, all the gods in the earth and sky couldn?t keep me away.

Just be happy. Be you.

You?re something special. My hurt hasn?t changed that.

Love,

Jake