The mausoleum was silent, with the exception of a faint murmuring from the ''others'' that haunt Riverbend. I''d sensed Tass'' arrival, and felt the moment he''d entered the mausoleum. My hope that he would not come here was denied, but if Tass had come to Riverbend, it was a fool''s hope that he would not find what he sought, and the only thing he could be seeking here was me. I watched from my hidden place within the marble of Morrin''s effigy as Tass studied the resting place of Annaran Kings. Tass studied the room silently, ultimately resting on what to anyone else would be my lifeless corpse. But it did not fool him, and his gaze shifted from my body to the effigy I inhabit now. With a soft sigh, I heard him whisper "forgive me for this" as he spoke a spell to drag me back into my own body, he placed his hand upon my body''s forehead.
I know what my body felt like, it was cold as the stone upon which it laid, the cold of death and the grave. Had he been of the living realm, it would have burned him to touch my forehead in such a manner. It did not seem to trouble him, in fact, he seemed not to notice the deadly cold. I wanted to wail as he spoke the spell and I felt my essence slipping from the stone matrices. I did not wish to be returned to that body. I clung, almost desperately to the stone, drawing on things Morrin had taught me years ago to maintain my presence within the stone. Fighting Tass with every ounce of resistance I could muster. His summons was gentle, as though he truly was reluctant to force me back into my body, and I remained immersed within the stone.
His eyes came open quickly at my resistance, and within moments he ceased his summons to me. The ''others'' stirred just beyond the mausoleum''s walls. They''d felt the power in the call, they''d felt the spell that sought to drag me from the realm of the dead. It caused unease among the dead of Riverbend. I hoped fleetingly that he would believe I was not there as stillness settled over the room.
He turned to look fully at the effigy, as though he could see me and not the stone. His eyes gleamed with a surge of power that could be felt even within my stone hiding place as he warded his body, and set his spirit free. The spirit that slipped from the human body was his true form, and the dragon spirit unfolded within the confines of the room, stretching its wings well beyond the confines of the stone space before curling once again. It was a display he meant me to see. Size, power, the essence of the dragon was unmasked for that moment in time. For me to understand that Riverbend posed no restrictions upon him, for I very much doubt that even Morrin could have warded against magic embodied.
He turned glittering purple eyes on the effigy of Morrin. I gazed back into that spirit gaze as he spoke. "Why do you resist?"
"Go away Tass, this place is for the dead." I remained firmly anchored to the marble''s matrix.
"Yet, here you are."
"Yes, this is my home. My sanctuary. I belong here." I would ponder his presence after he left. The unease amongst the ''others'' remained high. He should not have been here, and yet, he stood within the heart of the fortress.
"You are not dead Alais, you do not belong here, this is not your home." The ''others'' pressed as close as they could, murmurs echoing in the stone chamber as the conversation unfolded.
"A heart can beat, but the soul within be quite dead Tass. I am a failure in life. To my lifemate, to my daughter, to my friends."
"If that were so, would I be here?"
In a nearly inaudible whisper, "I should have followed Ulysses years ago."
"But you didn''t, you chose to continue on, and because you have, you have brought me here."
I paused at his words, "I do not know why you have come Tass, there is little I can do right now but come home, here there is peace for me."
He looked at me with something akin to skepticism. "Is there?"
Continuing on, "And this place is not meant for you. The dead realms are not for your kind."
"That may be so, but here I am," was his enigmatic reply.
I slid from the stone to hover near his soul, trusting that he would not keep me from returning to the stone if needed, "Tass, there was peace, until the other day. A voice intruded here that I have never heard before, it spoke in the language of the Valar."
He was the visage of patience, "and of this voice, what do you intend to do about it if you continue to hide here?"
His question surprised me, if I''d heard the voice here, it was logical that I should remain to investigate it, to seek its source. "It is here that I first heard it, how can I leave now?" I looked at my corporeal form and then back at Tass. "And if I return to that, the pain comes back too sharply."
"Life is pain, Alais. If there were no pain, if there were no trials and tribulations, then our lives would be next to meaningless. There would be nothing which would be good, there would be nothing to live for. That pain lets you know you are alive Alais. That pain lets you know that you still know how to feel, or do you seek to become one such as Caleb?" With his last question, he raised a brow ridge at me.
I studied him a moment. Caleb had been taken in by Tass. He would never have recommended Caleb to watch over Alia Anor if the man were not in Tass'' confidence. Caleb had been present for our first meeting on the Isles. No, Caleb was not the sort of man that I wanted to become, but he was not the sort of creature that should be shunned either. "Caleb is a good man, despite his cavalier attitude about life. I cannot think otherwise of him after he sought to help me."
He was more sober than I remember seeing him as he said, "Saving a life is much more difficult for him than taking one, he knows nothing about feelings, he does only what is paid for him to do."
He made Caleb sound a monster, a creature of no emotion what so ever, an example of what he thought I may be seeking by returning to my sanctuary, where emotion is dulled, and pain has little meaning because it is not felt. Yet I do not believe I am seeking to become a soulless monster that was incapable of caring. "Here Tass, I cannot hurt those around me. This place, it dulls the pain, and protects those I care most about." I believe my exile here produces less pain for everyone that I care most about. Is that so very wrong?
"But, you have hurt me, and you are hurting another," he announced as I contemplated the soundness of my decision to return to Riverbend.
I was clearly puzzled by his viewpoint, "I let you down Tass, I failed."
"You did not let me down, not until you fled here," his purple gaze still holding mine, with a slight note of censure in his expression.
I shook my head, pondering his words. "What do you think I should have done? Remained when the faith of my friends has been destroyed? And whom else have I hurt?" I could not fathom how my seeking refuge here would cause pain to anyone else. I know how my presence has caused it, but my absence? I allowed my essence to remain in lingering contact with the chill marble.
"Our faith in you is not so easily destroyed Alais." Tass remained unmoving as I fidgeted in the silence that ensued. "And, as of this moment, there is one who seeks to find a way into Riverbend, one who will be destroyed if they find their way here."
I looked up at Tass, "That cannot come to pass. Riverbend will allow none to enter. Your presence should not have been possible, but I believe dragons can do the impossible at times." His presence had been a surprise, but upon further thought, not so surprising since it is sorcery that protects Riverbend, and that Tass is magic itself. How could anything based in magic be off limits to the dragons?
"Then, you seek to destroy one who has pledged himself to you." Tass'' words hurt even in my disembodied state.
"No, I do not. Sy will never find Riverbend. I told him I was coming here, that he could not pass into Riverbend Tass." Sy is no fool, and he was angry when I''d told him that I would seek the solitude of Riverbend for a time. He''d wanted me to bring along his animality for protection, but I was uncertain about that side and how it would impact my sorceries, as well as the acceptance by the ''others''.
Tass'' voice cut through my thoughts, "Determination is something that can find many things, perhaps he will even sell his own soul to seek you as one of the dead."
My gaze snapped back to his, "Folly!"
"Is it?"
"Yes!"
"Think clearly child. Does he love you?" Tass remained unruffled as his words raised doubts in my mind. I had left RhyDin secure in my belief that Sy would not seek me in Riverbend, that he understood this was no place for the living.
"He has lived a mere 24 years Tass, it is not a lifetime. He loves me in his way. Though he does not understand that I can never lifemate again, that such a bonding occurs but once for Eldarie." While I can love again, and in fact do, it is not the bonding of souls that I''d had with Ulysses. That kind of mating is a gift from the Valar. Something many never have. I had been blessed with it, and even now, while I am blessed with another chance at love, it is not the same in all aspects. And I know I am not being fair to Sylus. He can never have all of an Eldarie relationship. Will it matter to him? I cannot be certain, but I know.
Tass finally got around to turning the discussion onto Sylus, my strongest link right now to the living world, "perhaps, but love is something powerful, as well you should know. In his own way, you may be his lifemate, though he cannot be yours."
I thought hard about Tass'' words, "I suppose it is possible. If I were honorable, I would set him free though." The more I thought about it, the more unfair it seemed to Sy, that he was capable of a love that I could not share in kind. It made me very sad in those moments of reflection.
"If you were honourable? Alais, you are honourable. You love him, and that in itself is honourable." Tass found honour in love, but was it honourable to know that I could never give what I know I should have given.
"I was selfish Tass, I allowed my feelings to pull him into a relationship that will never be what it should be because I am not capable of the emotional ties of a lifemate in the way of my people anymore. Pain Tass, that is what returning to that body will bring. Were I to pass into the Greyhavens, Sylus would be free." I''ve thought about seeking the Greyhavens before. Thought about how that would simplify things for many people, but here and now, the lure grew even stronger.
Tass studied me long moments, "You were selfish because you found someone who loved you in return. You sought a release from the pain which has gripped you these many years, you were selfish to return his love. He would never be free Alais."
His arguments were painful to hear. "He''s human Tass, he would find another."
"Yes, but in his heart, it is still you Alais. Human hearts are a mystery in themselves. If you leave him this way, you leave him with half a heart for the rest of his life." His words had the ring of counsel in them, and I know Tass has seen much in his aeons of existence.
My touch on the chill marble remained, and I slowly dissolved back into the stone, "Human hearts heal Tass."
The tenor of Tass'' voice changed, "You speak in ignorance now child. Perhaps it would be best for him to seek his own way here." His threat implying that his death would be on my hands for my actions taken here and now.
My voice very faint from deep within the marble effigy, "He cannot".
"You cannot stop him"
An even softer reply to the dragon in my sanctuary, "Go home Tass, leave me here."
He summed his human visage up, "You will continue to hide here, and leave the world of the living to do as they will, and if that means killing one who loves you, you do not care. Here you have the chance to save someone and you choose not to." He meant those words to be hurtful. He meant to pull me from the stone yet again. His methods were even more devastating than the summoning spell he''d first tried.
I gazed out at him from the effigy, "That is an unfair accusation."
"Perhaps unfair, but as you continue to sit here and hide, it will be the truth." He never moved, never flinched. He could make these charges and reflect no emotion. While my own are dulled in this state, they are not entirely absent. I wonder if he''s counting on this as he warns me about the potential lose of Sylus to the wards of Riverbend.
"Do you truly believe that by returning to the realm of the living it will change anything? Do you honestly believe that changes a thing that matters?" I know he came here to drag me back, would he use this ploy to force my hand?
"Yes" his voice was even and very calm. "Would you have Xeno come look for you as well?"
My anger reverberated off the walls of the mausoleum:: "You''ve come here to ask me to return to pain that no one knows or understand Tass." No one knew the reasons for my seclusion. No one, and I am loathe to discuss the details with anyone.
Tass continued, "And what of Rhaine?" He paused, the briefest flare of anger, "I understand! I understand your pain Alais! I have watched wife after wife die. I have watched pains untold continue to unfold."
But he didn''t understand, it is not simply the loss of Ulysses that drives me here. "Rhaine has died once, she could come with no harm to her, and Xeno respects Riverbend, he knows what this place is." I closed my eyes, wishing it were possible in this state to take a deep, steadying breath.
Tass'' voice lowered, "what of Khirsah, Alais?"
I stilled, the anger that had reverberated in the stone chamber rippled to stillness. "He must get the books warded away Tass. He cannot remain in contact with them. Bring them here." That was the one thing I needed to resolve. I had brought the books here, and needed to remove them from harm.
"Alais, he no longer has control of them. They have now become his teachers. I can feel it. It was he who told me where you were." Tass was very serious right now, and I know how close he and his elder are. They are linked in a way that I do not understand, but I do know there is a powerful bond between the two of them. Tass would know the effects the books were having upon his elder.
Tass'' words struck cold fear into me. "I asked your staff where he was when I arrived, but they said he''d cloistered himself away weeks ago. He''s not in control of them?. How? How did he know where I was?" I drifted out of the stone once more.
"That I do not know," he replied.
Unease shimmered as a living thing in the room, "How bad is it Tass?"
"His power has grown, he still controls himself, he will keep that, the books are under his watch, but it is they who teach him, they will not seek another, unless it be you, and I feel that perhaps only the 2 which you touched would do that."
I shivered, but not from cold, "Those are dangerous sorceries Tass, Morrin should never have recorded them."
"Recorded or not, they were already within him," his voice trailed off.
I sighed, "I could control the third Tass, but it would mean taking Daemonbane as Morrin once had." That is not a prospect I look forward to ever having to do.
He shook his head, "I do not believe that is necessary, as I said, they do not seek to control him."
"It would never be easy, but taking up Daemonbane has other repercussions. They teach you said, the problem is, what are they teaching him?" The thought of having to take up that black blade brought a shiver of apprehension. The third book was the deadliest of them all.
"That I do not know," was his reply. Tass didn''t know what Khirsah was being taught? Only that his power grew? This did not sound good at all.
"And how did they gain such abilities to speak? To teach?" I asked him, these books had never spoken to me, and as far as I know, never spoken to Morrin.
"They speak the darkness"
I stilled, listening intently, "what language Tass?"
"The books and the Elder were born of the same Darkness, the first Darkness," was his enigmatic reply.
I shuddered again, repeating the last words I''d heard here in Riverbend before Tass'' arrival, "L''khol b''riyah yeysh sheym shenatu''nu lah hata''eha. Do you understand those words? They were spoken to me right before you arrived."
Tass looked hard at me, but softly translated the words into common tongue, "each of us has a name, given to us by our sins, I believe."
I nodded, "Yes. Tass, those books must be removed from Khirsah''s care. Things are happening that should not be happening." Realization had crept in that those books needed to come back to Riverbend.
Tass gave a slight shrug, "and what would you have me do?"
"Tell me where Khirsah is." To me it seemed pretty simple.
"He is upon the Isle."
I glanced at him, "It''s a big Isle Tass, for the brief time I was there, I asked for his where abouts, and was only told he''d cloistered himself. I need to know precisely where he and the books are."
"What can you do from here?" It was a simple question, but drove home the reason for his presence.
Silence extended long moments between us. "Nothing." Dejection was clearly written in that one word reply.
He nodded, "as I thought."
Very fine fractures formed in the marble effigy as the sensation of furious realization transmitted throughout the mausoleum. "The books must be protected Tass. WHERE is Khirsah?" I floated free of the marble effigy with an audible sigh.
"The books are protected, and Khirsah is on the Isle."
I grew weary of being told Khirsah was on the Isle. I knew that much, but it''s a huge set of islands. "They are not protected, they are working their sorcery on Khirsah, changing, teaching, altering, absorbing. Where on the Isle is Khirsah?"
He quirked a brow at me, "I suppose you wish to go there?" It was clearly a challenge. Would I willingly walk back into the realm of the living to find Khirsah and the books?
"Wish? No. Must? Yes. I am responsible for them Tass." I was resigned to the search to recover the books and protect Khirsah from further damage caused by them.
"You are not solely responsible."
"No?" How could he believe that? I brought them back from Harmony, I handed them into the Dragon''s care.
He turned and stepped back within the body he''d left earlier, the dragon form returning to the confines of the humanoid body.
"Tass, where is he? Where are the books?" I was growing impatient and needed an answer that I could work with to retrieve the books. Tass was clearly preparing to depart.
The human eyes opened and he looked at me, "Who''s care did you put them in?"
I studied him briefly, "I placed them in Khirsah''s hands myself."
"And they are upon my Isle, so we three are responsible."
I hovered near my own body, staring at the cold, elven form laid so peacefully upon the currently empty crypt, "it is peaceful here Tass."
He stood waiting, "You will find your peace, but not here, and not like this."
Raising my gaze to his, "It seems not," regret lacing my words. With a lingering look at Morrin''s effigy, I faded into the cold body and blinked abruptly, slowly opening my eyes to the dim light of the mausoleum, emotion no longer dulled rose up sharply. "You bring me back to pain Tass, I cannot thank you for that."
"I do not ask you to, but I bring you back to life."
I gave him a swift nod, "Now, where is Khirsah?"
He turned and started back the way he''d come, "come, I need to be out of this place before I can reopen the door."
I turned a slow circle in the room, clearly reluctant to leave, I reached out and touched the marble face of the last Annaran King before following him out of the mausoleum.
Tass moved into the throng of ''others'' that had come to surround them, gently maneuvering through them and finally came to the place where he had initially stepped through the doorway. His voice took on the power of previous as he opened a bright rip before him, turning, he looked back at me. "Best ward yourself for cold, and then wrap yourself in heavy furs." Then he stepped through the door.
I nodded as soft Annaran words melted into the cold that is Annara and then summoned the furs, curling myself into them before I too stepped through the door, and into a bone freezing cold more biting than even Riverbend.
