There were times over the last few months, when Ileen would be absolutely staggered by the life changes that she had embarked upon and more times than not, she was left speechless. It was more a case of admitting certain things to herself, even if they were not voiced. The last few days were no exception to that.
Destined in her mind and heart to be alone and walk the path in solitude, this wasn?t just from a personal level but also a business one. In the past, there was little conscious for either. Ultimately, the devil may care grin won out as a form of self preservation as all that she held dear was either ripped from her grasp or was never true in the first place.
There are people who love carelessly, without a concern in the world. Then there are those who are not capable of this and love for life. That isn?t love by definition, that is a soul that requires the constant of all that is true, the good and the horrific. It doesn?t abandon on a whim and a smile. It stays solid and the foundation while tested, never cracks. It requires what is beyond a simple definition.
So that brings to mind, if one is enraptured in what they think is true and find out it is perversely the opposite?.did it ever count in the first place? Yes, on some level, but not all levels. At least not on the receiver?s side of it.
In Ileen?s mind, while it may have been twisted at times, she had loved only once. Some would argue this point, but the fa?ade could not be changed. It could only be moved on from and hopefully, the real comes into play. Which, it did. In spades.
Little by little, the bonding of Jack and Ileen was evolving into all of the things it should. This was of course, bizarre to most and even to them. The two of them resembled large onions, with a thousand different layers. Day by day, those layers were being peeled back to reveal what was within the next, leaving the one before not so raw and unapproachable.
He embraced everything she was and would be, as she did him. That was not to say that things were perfect, they weren?t. The two of them argued and fought to an almost unreasonable level, but they always came back and talked it out. He was stubborn, opinionated and harsh. She was just as stubborn, opinionated and harsh. But that was okay. It was them.
So while Ileen was not a woman who gushed and showed her emotions like some did, they were no less true. Nor was it less true when she would watch him sleep, like she was doing at this moment and not so simply?.loving him.
Aye, he was her first.
Aye, they had a wedding to plan.
Destined in her mind and heart to be alone and walk the path in solitude, this wasn?t just from a personal level but also a business one. In the past, there was little conscious for either. Ultimately, the devil may care grin won out as a form of self preservation as all that she held dear was either ripped from her grasp or was never true in the first place.
There are people who love carelessly, without a concern in the world. Then there are those who are not capable of this and love for life. That isn?t love by definition, that is a soul that requires the constant of all that is true, the good and the horrific. It doesn?t abandon on a whim and a smile. It stays solid and the foundation while tested, never cracks. It requires what is beyond a simple definition.
So that brings to mind, if one is enraptured in what they think is true and find out it is perversely the opposite?.did it ever count in the first place? Yes, on some level, but not all levels. At least not on the receiver?s side of it.
In Ileen?s mind, while it may have been twisted at times, she had loved only once. Some would argue this point, but the fa?ade could not be changed. It could only be moved on from and hopefully, the real comes into play. Which, it did. In spades.
Little by little, the bonding of Jack and Ileen was evolving into all of the things it should. This was of course, bizarre to most and even to them. The two of them resembled large onions, with a thousand different layers. Day by day, those layers were being peeled back to reveal what was within the next, leaving the one before not so raw and unapproachable.
He embraced everything she was and would be, as she did him. That was not to say that things were perfect, they weren?t. The two of them argued and fought to an almost unreasonable level, but they always came back and talked it out. He was stubborn, opinionated and harsh. She was just as stubborn, opinionated and harsh. But that was okay. It was them.
So while Ileen was not a woman who gushed and showed her emotions like some did, they were no less true. Nor was it less true when she would watch him sleep, like she was doing at this moment and not so simply?.loving him.
Aye, he was her first.
Aye, they had a wedding to plan.