This is stupid, and I wonder why I am doing it. Though, I suppose I haven't many a confidant left, and so the paper shall have to do. It has in the past, after all.
I suppose I'll start with a bright note, then, since there aren't many to relate, this Autumn. I saw Cooper Gallows recently. It's good to see him around--though his condition, it seems, is hell. I'll have to see if I can do something about that. I've invited him over to my house, and he's already accepted once. It's a good thing, as I said.
And now...
My brother is an idiot. Salvador, this time, though gods know Mesteno has probably had his moments. If he has, well, he's handled them and gone. Meanwhile, Sal flails around like a blind man who has lost his cane.
Probably a more meaningful metaphor than I had intended, here, but I suppose it works.
He has his lovers, and he always has had them. It was one of the many things that probably caused a rift between a few friends and I in the past--Morgan Knight, for example, always did look down his long Akashic nose at Sal--but I maintain that Morgan never understood him either. So few people do. So many judge Sal by how humans are judged, and I just want to kick them, or slap them. Some way to grab their attention, and just...show them the way, I suppose.
Not that Salvador in and of himself is innocent in all this. I do remember Sal picking on Morgan, because he enjoyed it. He is an ass. (Which, of course, is not to say Morgan didn't bring it on himself, either...)
But I speak of the past, when I should speak of the present.
I felt Faye calling me. It seemed, then, that we were going to have an intervention with one of Sal's lovers--Rei, a boy I had only met once before. I suppose I do him a disservice, calling him a boy--he is caught, transfixed so, in that horrible point between child and adult, one that every being struggles with. And struggle, he does. And my brother, of course, has not helped.
Rei wanted Salvador to be his only, his great beloved--and Sal, has already found his, did so long ago. Sinjin Fai. And even Sin was called by my mother, that day. To try to speak with Rei. To try to make him understand.
I will not go more deeply into the discussion than I have--Rei's secrets are his own and deserve to be so--but I asked him, was it really worth it to piss on his own campfire, because he was jealous of a bonfire a mile away?
I'd hoped to make him think, but I've heard since that they are no more.
Rei has to make his own way, I understand. I cannot help, however, but be disappointed. Disappointed in the both of them.
Last night, it was Salvador that I hunted--I wanted to try and smack some sense into him. I do not know what I wanted to do. Still. I did find him, after working out some of my own frustrations at the FUNDERDOME. I did not win that fight, but it was good nonetheless. And then, there he was.
He is not taking care of himself. And this is one of many reasons why I say: my brother is an idiot.
I did slap him upside the head. I do not regret it.
But then, I practically ordered him to hunt with me. At least he listened.
That much, I can attempt to fix.
I suppose I'll start with a bright note, then, since there aren't many to relate, this Autumn. I saw Cooper Gallows recently. It's good to see him around--though his condition, it seems, is hell. I'll have to see if I can do something about that. I've invited him over to my house, and he's already accepted once. It's a good thing, as I said.
And now...
My brother is an idiot. Salvador, this time, though gods know Mesteno has probably had his moments. If he has, well, he's handled them and gone. Meanwhile, Sal flails around like a blind man who has lost his cane.
Probably a more meaningful metaphor than I had intended, here, but I suppose it works.
He has his lovers, and he always has had them. It was one of the many things that probably caused a rift between a few friends and I in the past--Morgan Knight, for example, always did look down his long Akashic nose at Sal--but I maintain that Morgan never understood him either. So few people do. So many judge Sal by how humans are judged, and I just want to kick them, or slap them. Some way to grab their attention, and just...show them the way, I suppose.
Not that Salvador in and of himself is innocent in all this. I do remember Sal picking on Morgan, because he enjoyed it. He is an ass. (Which, of course, is not to say Morgan didn't bring it on himself, either...)
But I speak of the past, when I should speak of the present.
I felt Faye calling me. It seemed, then, that we were going to have an intervention with one of Sal's lovers--Rei, a boy I had only met once before. I suppose I do him a disservice, calling him a boy--he is caught, transfixed so, in that horrible point between child and adult, one that every being struggles with. And struggle, he does. And my brother, of course, has not helped.
Rei wanted Salvador to be his only, his great beloved--and Sal, has already found his, did so long ago. Sinjin Fai. And even Sin was called by my mother, that day. To try to speak with Rei. To try to make him understand.
I will not go more deeply into the discussion than I have--Rei's secrets are his own and deserve to be so--but I asked him, was it really worth it to piss on his own campfire, because he was jealous of a bonfire a mile away?
I'd hoped to make him think, but I've heard since that they are no more.
Rei has to make his own way, I understand. I cannot help, however, but be disappointed. Disappointed in the both of them.
Last night, it was Salvador that I hunted--I wanted to try and smack some sense into him. I do not know what I wanted to do. Still. I did find him, after working out some of my own frustrations at the FUNDERDOME. I did not win that fight, but it was good nonetheless. And then, there he was.
He is not taking care of himself. And this is one of many reasons why I say: my brother is an idiot.
I did slap him upside the head. I do not regret it.
But then, I practically ordered him to hunt with me. At least he listened.
That much, I can attempt to fix.