"You can't take the edge off a knife, but only hope it has dulled enough not to cause a deep wound."

Jade pulled her crimson Mustang infront of Ryo's little place. It was late and she contemplated wheather or not anyone was up ... or that the person she wanted to see was even there or not. Hopefully Ryo hadn't kicked him out yet. But damnit, Jade had her prised Mustang out of the garage for this! He'd better be there!

Well, the better question was id he'd actually talk to her. She was hoping so... But she earned a door slammed in her face. Ya give and ya take, that's what she always said. This time she gave too little and took too much. It was time to talk, if he liked it or not. He could hide away from the inn when she was there like it seemed to be, but now she was coming to him.

She stared down the Japanese style house, gripping the steering wheel. Her knuckles white under her pale skin.
"I can't do it..." Jade breathed silently, "I'll look like a fool. Me? Apologizing? Ha."

She let out an exhausted sigh as she set her head onto the steering wheel ontop of her hands.
"It's better to be a fool then living wth regret," she breathed again, shutting her eyes. Instantly she was the beautiful house he had built up in flames, by her hands.

Her head slipped from its perch on her hands and her chin it the horn. As the horn sounded her head jerked and she sat up-right, alert. Her wide jade eyes bounced around, scanning the house of any sign of movements. After a few tense moments, she sighed in relief.

"Okay, I think it might be best if I left... before I do something stupid," She said through clenched teeth.

Jade pulled the gear shift into reverse and eased off the brakes... and hit the gas a little too hard.
With a squeel of the tires, the crimson Mustang hurled itself into metal trash cans. She screamed in terror, then put the car into drive. The Mustang lurched forward and with another small squeel she put it back into park. Jade panted wildly and cut the engine. She tore the keys from the ignition and chunked them into the backseat.
"F uck f uck f uck!" She yelled, hitting her hands onto the steering wheel.

She kicked her way out of the car, slamming the door behind her. She whipped around to the back of the car. Sure enough, the entire back was scratched up... A trash can was still clinging to the bumper. Her jaw was dropped to the ground. Jade wanted to sob. But she didn't, she screamed... an ear splitting scream.
"My car!! My beautiful baby! What have I done?! My perfect paint job! Ruined!" She started repeatedly kicking the metal trash can with loud BANGs.

Well, there goes subtle. The Queen of Chaos has arrived. No need to wake the neighbors, she's doing a fine job of it already.

She pried off the trash can off the bumper huffing.
"Stupid trash cans! Who puts trash cans on the sidewalk anyway?! Stupid Gabe! Stupid me! Stupid RhyDin! Stupid Franco! Stupid life! I hate it! I hate it!" Jade yelled as she banged her fists on the side of the car.

Cue melodramatic 4 year old tantrum.

She huffed and took lean on the car facing the house, trying to calm herself. At that angle, the moon shone so pretty in the dark sky. Seconds later, Jade was ready to face things that had to be done.

"If no one was up before, I hope to god someone is now," she mumbled as she headed up the pathway to the Japanese style house.

Jade breathed one, two, three as she stepped onto the porch. At best, Gabe could see her, yell at her, and slam the door in her face. Not that bad, she thought to herself.
One more not needed breathe and she knocked on the door softly, then took lean to a post infront of the door.

Her jade eyes were wide as the door creeked open. She saw the expression on his face and grimaced. Damnit! I never thought of how to start the damn conversation! Look at his face! I'm toast! She thought to herself. Her eyes darted left and right for an escape route. Jade sighed and looked him in the eyes.

"H-hey. Long time no see... C-can we talk... about things?" She gave a little weak smile as she past him, into the house.

He was too quiet, and she hated it.

Jade turned to face him as she took lean on a couch arm.
"H-how are things going?" she paused then did a face-palm, "That's not what I ment to say... uh..."
Siiiiiigh.

Little Jadey sat on the arm of the couch, wincing at the harshness of his tone.
"Okay, here goes nothing..." she mumbled to herself. Breath one, two, three.

"Just shut up for a few minutes and let me talk, okay? After I'm done you can rant and rave all you want at me then kick me to the curb. I'm sorry, okay?" everything started to come out in a jumbled mess. It'd be a miracle if he caught it all. "I'm sorry! After I realized what I did... I've hated myself more and more with each passing day. Of course no one would've known. I would have never admitted it. Playin' it off like I hated you, ya know? Ryo could have told you that much. I just came here to apologize... which I suck at. I just don't wanna live in regret. I'm not the type to regret."

Through her jumbled mess, she fiddled with her old worn out black zip-up hoodie. Zip, unzip, zip, unzip.

"I over-reacted a wee bit, ya know? Shoot me down, will ya? Okay, I went a little over-the-top. I made a big mistake. Things were... too nice. Things were going... too well. I know this explains nothing and you won't ever begin to understand what goes on in my f ucked up mind, but I have to try. For my own pathetic self. When I heard... that dreaded tape, it just set me off. I knew things couldn't be going that well. I convinced those lies were truths. I knew that I should have tried to talk things over with you, but I'm afriand that I would have tried to kill you. Somewhere... I knew you couldn't have said those things."

She paused for a brief moment to turn her face away from him.

"But... I was so desperate to be unhappy, to know that nothing ever lasts like how its always been for me. I believed the lies to prove myself right, that things never have a happy ending," she let out a short sigh before starting to babble again, "God, I'm sounding so pathetic... turning the tables so you can feel sorry for me. Ha. I am a horrible person. I don't even realize when I'm cruel. Don't waste you time worrying about me, like I've said a million times before. "

A cold trickle of blood slowly made its way down her cheek. That's why she looked away from him. Pathetic as usual. Crying again. I promised I wouldn't, she thought, Promises are a waste.
"I won't let myself be happy," she winced at her own words. They brought up memories he did not know of. With a swift movement that only the keenest of eyes would have caught, the sleeve of her old worn out hoodie swiped across her cheek. The blood tear blending with the black.

"Listen, I'm..." she turned her head back to look him in the eyes as her voice cracked and broke. Then she steadied her voice, babbling again. The words were more irrational, less thought out, "I'm not asking you to take me back or anything. I over-heard Michelle tell Ryo that you two were back together. You have her. I'm proud. I have Michale. I mean, he would consider us dating... But I already told him that I wasn't taking chances with love anymore. He still loved me... So I guess I'm in it for him... I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I don't want to be alone." her voice was bearly a whisper, "I'm afraid of being alone."

Jade curled up a bit, hugging her knees to her chest. Soon after she realized that she told him so much of her current situation, her eyes grew wide at him. F uck it, she didn't care anymore. Jade started fiddling with the many holes in her well worn jeans.

"What I am asking... begging you is to forgive me. I know its too much to ask. I'll take a no for an answer and leave. You'll never see me again unless by some freaky chance. I..." her voice cracked again. She brought her sleeve covered hands to her face. It was hard then she thought it was going to be.

"I miss... you. I know nothing will ever be close to... our friendship. Please, I'm trying to make amends," Jade looked at him with pleading eyes brimmed with her crimson tears. At any moment that thin dam could break.

"I know I'm failing, aren't I?" her voice went to a whisper again, "Your turn. Shoot me down."

Her lip quivered a tad before she bit down to stop it.

"You deserved the apology... or at least a reason why."

She blinked at the second part of what he had said.
"Gabe! Darkness? You are so much more than that! Complex, different shades. Contrasting and compelling each other. Not just darkness. I don't even see darkness at all... Well... before I didn't."

Jade paused with wide worried jade colored eyes. They darted to the duffle bag then back to him.
"What won't stop? Gabe, where are you going?! Don't lie to me either! You know I can see right through it! I swear to god if this is all because of my f ucking stupidity... I ... I....!"

She couldn't finish whatever she thought because she couldn't think of a bad enough thing to do to herself. Her breathe quickened, nearing the point of a panic attack. Oh, grrrreat.

"Your soul... will tear itself apart?" she gulped, trying to imagine such a thing, "But... but where will you go? How can you stop it? ... D-d-don't leave!"

Jade flung him into a hug, silent very silent.