I?ve lost count of the days I?ve been here a while ago. It hasn?t been ages, but?it?s been long enough to where I know Zver can?t possibly be coming for me. I bet he already found out what I did?what Sawyer did to me. I bet he isn?t even looking anymore. Maybe he never was. Maybe he knew from the beginning; when I was snatched up?

Damaged goods, and all that.

I can?t blame him.

I just wish I could stop thinking about him.

Everything is different now.

Sawyer is different now, if you can believe it. I know what he did was awful, but? it was my fault. I provoked him. If I had just listened, he wouldn?t have done it. If I?d have just been quiet, maybe I?d be with Zver right now. He?s been kind since then, patient? He cares about me, even. Makes sure I eat, gives me something to help me sleep. I?m not even locked in the basement anymore. I could leave if I wanted, but?what is there to go back to?

I?m off the wagon completely, so I?d be useless as a mother.

If Zver doesn?t already hate me, he?ll hate me for sure when he finds out.

I feel like a fail-princess, y?know? Like? Okay so I have all the ingredients of a girl from a fairy tale. Orphaned at a young age, crappy childhood, evil sister? Then I met a prince charming, but that went to hell real quick. Then I meet Zver, and no?he wasn?t charming, he wasn?t sweet. He was a real ***hole, to be honest, but we fell in love.

Now this.

Am I not meant for a happily ever after? Am I cursed to this?

I want to smile and be okay, but god it hurts so bad. I can?t stop thinking about him, and then there?s Sawyer?

I wish he?d just let me end it.

I really just want it to be over.

I don?t want to be here anymore.