It started off as a joke, one in a long line of ?lets screw with the Gossip Mags and Press? jokes. It had always been fun and the last time Kate?d done it she?d signed her name with Derever?s last name at Riley?s wedding. So being seen, at Beltane, with Lucien would get the tongues wagging again and that would be funny.

The plan was for Lucky to pick her up for the opening night of Beltane, they show up together, dance a few dances, then head home, laughing and speculating about what, if anything, would be written about them the next morning.

It was a perfect plan.

It was a typical ?Date? between the two of them, laughter and fun. They?d started their unconventional friendship almost a year before, in the midst of all the drama that seemed to surround them and suck them in they?d started hanging out.

The first time he?d come to talk to her, he?d found her at the end of baseball practice, they?d played catch then and many nights after that.

There?d been swimming, walking, and swinging in the summer, they?d jumped in leaves and TP?d the Governors house in the fall, and throughout the winter there had been sledding, snowball fights, and on one occasion they?d packed snow in the doorways of people who had annoyed them and poured water over it to ?ice? them in.

Throughout all of it Kate had maintained that they were just friends when asked about their ?Relationship? by anyone. That was the truth, they were just friends.

So when Lucien asked her to dance she?d said yes. The two of them kept flirting, playing it up for whoever might be watching. Kate didn?t think anything of it, they?d done it before and it had meant nothing.

The goal of the night was to get into the papers after all.

The dance started out normally, laughing and joking, then he dipped her, and when he did his head dipped as well and his lips met hers.

That?s when everything shifted and shattered around her.

Her brain froze, how many times had she joked that he owed her a kiss, and how many times had he given her a quick peck on the cheek? This wasn?t that, it was a full on, kiss on the lips.

When he pulled back she blinked up at him, trying to work through what had happened, as the second ticked by she started to rationalize it as part of the ?game?. Even while her mind was going back into explaining the kiss away she was leaning up for kiss number two.

He didn?t pull back, didn?t turn his head, and didn?t joke, instead he kissed her again.

The third night of Beltane confirmed her suspicions that there was something going on. She?d lost herself in the fantasy, let it overtake what little sense she had. All the acting had become real and she?d thrown herself into this new reality head first. The fact that the last night was the Masquerade didn't help.

When Beltane finally ended though, she had to face reality, the reality where she and Lucky weren?t together and never would be. No matter how much she wished things were different she had to do the right thing and walk away. Luckily she had to leave town and take care of other things.

She kept putting off leaving Rhy Din though.

Then one night, a week or so later she went to the Inn and she realized things had changed so much she wasn?t sure what to do anymore. So she left, and she walked, all the way to the Castle and after checking in with Chris she walked more, out into the nearest field. She told herself that it was spring and she needed to check on the fields but in reality she just wanted to be away, away from everything.

Using the fence for leverage she kicked off her shoes and hopped over. Her feet slowly sank into the freshly tilled dirt and she curled her toes into it as she moved. First she took a few steps, then a few more, she laughed and started humming, the steps turning into a barefoot dance in the middle of a field.

And there she danced, twirling and jumping in the dirt, laughing and smiling for the first time since Beltane. When she stopped she made a low bow, smiling again and turned in a slow circle, looking around her as one of her hands reached back to lift her hair off her neck. That?s when she saw Lucky leaning against the fence watching her.

His gaze dropped from the sky and he grinned as he looked at her "I actually brought something I wanted to show you." He paused and rethought about that. "Well, kind of show you."

"Kind of show me?" Confusion showed on her face as she thought about what he said.. "What is it?"

The grin that held her attention tugged to a smug smile. "Well, if I told you that would ruin the surprise."

"No fair! Why are you so mean?" Her plan was to continue telling him how mean he was, in great detail but she was forced to stop talking when a rather large rain drop hit her on the forehead. She started laughing when an accompanying raindrop plinked off his nose

She moved her hand from his shoulder to wipe whatever moisture that drop might have left behind. "We're gonna get dirty aren't we?"

An amused grin was plain to see and he nodded, wrinkling his nose as more drops started to fall. "Yes." He looked very pleased at that possibility. "Yes we are." Then he spun her around in a wide celebratory sweep.

?Hope you brought extra clothes Bear.? As he spun her around the field more and more raindrops hit them. Soon there was no avoiding getting wet or dirty as the dirt beneath their feet started to turn to mud.

The look on his face and the next statement out of his mouth proved to her that he hadn?t thought that far ahead, he only had the one set of clothes that he currently was wearing. "Oh well. I just have to try not to get too muddy."

At that point she formulated her plan, ?Really??, She slowly smiled at him, ?Really truly??. Then she all but threw herself against him, pushing her body against his, her arms wrapping around him, trying to force him down into the mud.

Luckily she?d caught him by surprise and even though he tried to keep his balance, his arms going around her and his feet stepping back, he soon found himself flat on his back, in the mud, with her on top of him. ?Hey!?

She started laughing, "Guess that trying not to get too muddy thing isn't gonna work for you is it Bear?". Soon she was laughing so hard she was just laying there, her head laying on his chest, her body shaking as she struggled to stop.

Under her he finally gave in, laughing and laying his head back in the mud. ?I guess not.? She was still feeling pretty smug, having gotten him in the mud and dirty when he literally turned the tables on her, tightening his arms and rolling so she was in the mud and he was on top of her.

"That was uncalled for and unfair Bear!" Squirming under him she tried to show how upset she was about it but each movement only served to get her more muddy. She looked up at him, mud streaks on her dress, neck, face, and clumps in her hair.

He grinned a smug and victorious grin down at her as he tried to keep her pinned down. "Who said anything about being fair?"

"Ugh." She kicked her feet, but each squirm only served to get more mud on her. "At least I have clean clothes and a bath back at the castle. You on the other hand don't." The statement was smug but all the sentiment behind it was lost when he scooped up some mud on his fingers and marked a smudge on her forehead, then on her nose, chin and cheeks before he replied, "That's alright."

Him moving his hand to mud her backfired a little on him because it freed one of her hands which allowed her to reach back and grab a handful of mud. She started at his forehead then slowly dragged her hand all the way down his face. ?Is it??

He sputtered as some of the mud got into his mouth, ?Blech!?

?Sorry Bear, but you said we weren?t being fair.? She?d stopped and pulled her hand back, allowing him to open his eyes and see the goofy smile she was beaming up at him.

He didn?t reply, just wiped the mud out of his mouth, reached down, grabbed another handful, and tousled her hair with it.

"Now that's just rude!" She put both hands into the mud, one coming up for his hair, the other smacking mud at his throat and rubbing it in there at his upper shoulders.

"That isn't rude..." More mud was scooped up and this time smeared over her shoulders and her neckline. "This is rude."

His grin is what got her, so she again picked up two handfuls of mud, one went for the back of his neck and the other smacked him right on the lower back. She was careful to smear and rub it in. "You are going down Bear!"

He kept attacking as another handful was scooped up and this time rubbed again into her neckline. "I'm just getting started, Princess," then he tousled her hair.

Never one to play fair she refused to back down as she grabbed a handful of that squishy, slimy mud and shoved it down the front of his shirt, then using both hands and the shirt she squished it up. "You always think you're going to win."

He was laughing again, she was laughing again, the two of them rolling around, covering each other in mud like small children, "Yes, I always think I'm going to win," he replied smudging more mud over her face.

She lifted one of her hands to her face, wiping her mouth with the back of it. "So confident. I could end this right now you know."

He chuckled, a grin crooking at the corner of his mouth. "Oh? Right now? Just like that?"

He had said they weren?t playing fair and she did know exactly how to win, ?Yep!? she smiled up at him, ?Easily.?

One of his eyebrows lifted, which she took as a dare, ?Ok then, ready??

She could feel him bracing himself and she almost laughed, almost, but that would have ruined the effect of what she had planned. ?For?? The question cut through her thoughts of glory but if he was expecting a long answer, explaining everything he was going to be disappointed because all he got was, ?For me to win.?

She didn?t give him any more time to think about it, she slid a hand behind his neck, lifted her head and kissed him. It wasn?t a peck like earlier kisses, it was a full on, deep kiss, one that for a few seconds at least they both found themselves lost in. When she finally leaned back and broke it, her voice was soft ?See??

He looked at her muddy face and slowly nodded.

He still didn?t let her up so she lightly poked him on the shoulder, ?You still have me pinned down here though.?

The grin that had been on his face for most of their mud flinging fun was still there as he answered, "Yes, I do. I rather like it."

Her grin started to turn into a pout, lower lip sticking out, ?But I won.?

?I don?t know,? He was shaking his head, still grinning, ?I?m not convinced.?

It was then she realized this wasn?t a battle but a war, one she had to win. "Fine." She looked up at him, her face wet and muddy. "You want to play that way?" One corner of her mouth lifted in a smile as she realized that since the first kiss worked another one might work as well. So she leaned up and kissed him again.

She caught him by surprise, she didn?t break the kiss until she felt him relax against her a little. Even when she did break the kiss she didn?t give up her advantage, this time whispering against his lips, ?Please let me up Bear??

She had enough of an advantage that he simply nodded and moved off of her, letting her pull her legs under her body and sit up. Then she smiled at him and said, ?I win.?

He stretched his legs out as he sat there and shook his head again, grinning, "That was entirely unfair."

"I seem to remember you making a comment.." her head tilted as she thought "Something along the lines of 'who's playing fair?' I was just following your stellar advice."

"Using my own tactic against me..." he shook his head again, chuckling. "Doubly unfair."

"I still win." Her smile big now. "and it was a nice way to win too."

He leaned back, propped up on his elbows and turning his face up at the falling rain. His own smile bloomed. "Yeah you win," he conceded. "And it was a nice way to lose," he added.

"So what did you bring me Bear?"

It'd taken two scrubbings to get all the mud out of her hair, once she was finally clean she toweled off and got dressed. It was simple, a tank and grey shorts, socks on her feet. A brush was run through her hair, even though it didn't tame the curls, she left it wet, left her bedroom and bounded down the two flights of stairs to the middle living room.

She loved those couches and threw herself face down onto one of them, laughing for a few seconds before she rolled over onto her back to wait.


He had stood in the shower letting the water just wash over him for a moment or two...or three...before he started cleaning the mud off himself. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he found the clothes that Chris had left and quickly pulled them on.

When you're done I'd suggest going back down to the sitting room, Chris had directed before leaving him. So, he stepped out of the bedroom and headed down to the sitting room.

A grin ghosted beneath the freshly washed beard when he saw Kate sprawled out on the couch.


She heard him before she saw him. "Feel better?" She smiled at him and folded her arms under her head. Her hair was a mess, getting the couch wet, the top of her tank top wet, pretty much everything it touched, wet.

"Chris find you something ok? he's in a mood and I was scared he'd throw a dress in there or something."

He came down the stairs and over to the couch, then stood over her and held his arms out at the side to show her his get up. "It's clean, and not a dress, so I'm not complaining," he replied with a blooming grin.


Laughing she took advantage of his arms being held out like that, hopping up she pounced him in a hug. Her head tilted down and her eyes drifted closed as her nose pressed against his neck, "You smell nice. Not that mud smells bad but clean is nice too."


He caught her as she pounced into his arms and he chuckled, wrapping her up in his embrace. His grin crooked at the corner of his mouth. "Thanks. Took me a while to get all the mud out of my ears," he teased.


"I had to wash my hair twice. It was fun though." She hugged him for another minute then released him. "So, my present. Unless you want to talk first?"


He reached up and tossled her clean and damp hair first. "Up to you, Princess. Although if you want to see your present, we aren't appropriately dressed."

An eyebrow raised at that, she had the feeling that he was trying to distract her from the discussion they had to have. "What do we have to be wearing?"


"Something...warmer." A smirk twitched but he kept it reined in for the moment.


"Arrrggghhh." She poked him in the side with a finger. "You are no fair. Just tell me. Please?" If there was one thing she couldn?t stand it was not knowing things, well not knowing things and surprises she didn?t know about, which really came under the heading of not knowing things.

He chuckled, squirming as he got poked and retreated a step back out of arm's reach. "No. I'm not going to tell you."


"Fine, we talk first then since you won't budge and I'm comfy." She frowned. "you still suck."


He shook his head. "I don't suck." He flopped onto the couch beside her and sat back. "I sail."


She rolled her eyes at that. "uh huh. You still suck, even if you sail." She turned to look at him on the couch.


He chuckled lightly at her reply, then sat forward, arms on his knees and he glanced aside at her. "So."


"I have things to say, don't side track me. It's going to be embarrassing enough." She took a few steps back. "if you laugh I will kill you."


He nodded, a thoughtful furrow marring his brow as he glanced up at her, watching her retreat a few steps. "I won't laugh."


Millions of thoughts tumbled through her head before she spoke, she was taking a chance, a huge chance, being completely honest with him. The only reason she was even thinking of saying what she was about to say was because she had always been honest with him and he with her. "Ok." She shook her head. "So when I first met you I liked you, you were cool, " She smiled at that. "You are cool. Even after I found out you were with Bekah, you were fun, we did fun things. It wasn't until Tara started in on how i should date you and had that horrific dinner that I realized she was kind of right. I really liked you, way more than I ever should have." She started moving as she spoke, walking to the fireplace then back in front of him.

"So I had to make a decision to shove you in a place where we were only friends. It's kind of the reason I was all about finding a guy, get my mind off of you, on someone else. " Back to the fireplace, back to him, pacing now.

"you being gone, me being with Derever helped but I kinda always did go back to you, for help, to talk, trouble." She looked at him "So then Beltane happened, Derever and I are broken up, and now you're so far out of that place I shoved you into. If you weren't with Bekah, I would have gone after you a long time ago, because really, it's kinda been you." At that she shook her head. "Stupid I know but that's it."


He sat there and listened. He didn't say anything, or try to interrupt her, or stop her. He watched her pacing, listened to what she was saying, met her gaze when she looked back at him.

When she was done speaking, he drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, dropping his gaze to his hands. He turned his hands over, turning his palms up, and ran his thumb over a faint, near invisible scar nestled in the palm of his hand.

"I can't remember the last time I laughed so easily and felt so light....so...happy, as during Beltane," he began quietly, still rubbing his thumb over the spot in his hand.

He shook his head, lifting his gaze up to her, "I just can't remember. Hard as I try." A grin ghosted at the corner of his mouth. "Pretty sad, eh?"

"It's not sad, it's happy that you were happy though." She watched him, the movements he made, his face. "It was the most fun I've had, most of the fun I have is with you. You know things and you don't try to change me, even when I'm being difficult. I've told you before that you're kind of perfect and I wasn't lying." She smiled at that. "the thing is, I can't lie and if we're just going to be friends I have to know."


"I love Bekah," he confessed quietly. "And I've never been unfaithful to her..." A tempered grin crooked, fingertip tracing over that same scar. "Even though I've been accused of it, of being unfaithful or a player, I've always been faithful." He pressed that palm into his knee and glanced back up at Kate. "That's the problem. I don't want to just be friends, you and I."


There it was, the thing she?d always known, the proof that all of this was wrong. She sighed a little. "You're with her and you love her. No matter how much I wish it were otherwise that's not changing." She looked at him again. "It's a big problem, two people who don't want to just be friends but kind of have to be?"


"Yeah, it is." He reached out to take hold of her hands. "And it sucks."


When he took her hands she squeezed a little. "It does. Since Beltane? I kept rationalizing it, one night, say screw it for one night, get it out of your system and let it go." She smiled a little. "Donno that that would work."


He rubbed his thumbs over her hands and that grin ghosted once more, before he bowed his head down and brushed a kiss over the back of each of her hand. "I don't think so," he replied.


"We're screwed." She pulled her hands from his then sat on the floor, next to where he was sitting, her back leaning against the couch. "We either betray Bekah or we stop seeing each other and hanging out."


He rubbed his hands together once she pulled her hands from them, then he slid off the couch to sit on the floor beside her. "Those are our only choices?"

"You have any ideas? No matter how much we might deny it, we crossed a line and there's no going back." She tilted her head to the side and scooted down a little so she could lay it on his shoulder.

He reached around with an arm and wrapped it lightly over her shoulders as she laid her head on his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to her damp curls. "Is it bad that I don't regret it?"

"No, I don't regret it either. It's just going to suck not seeing you." She shifted again, turning toward him, her arm sliding across his chest and resting there.

Another deep breath was drawn and quietly let out. He reached up his free hand to trail a caress over her arm on his chest, attention on the fire burning in the fireplace. "Well, we can't do that." He shook his head. "I can't do that."

"The more we're together the harder it's going to be. We might act like friends but we also act like we're dating, I go to you with my problems, get you to take me to parties, we go dancing, sledding, you name it. We're together too much and I can't put you back into that friends box if we're always around each other." Her fingers imitated his caress, lightly moving against his side.

He fingers continued to lazily caress over her arm. "Do you know why I take you to parties? Because I like going with you. Not because I like the parties. I love sledding and dancing and being with you." He shook his head again. "You know, I hadn't gone sledding in years. Years."

"Sledding is fun." that made her smile. "I enjoy going with you too, it's why I ask you. It's also why we have to stop. The more we're together, the stronger this is all going to become." She tilted her head back so she could look up at him. "It gets cloudy when I'm around you. I don't have the greatest impulse control and there are times, like Beltane where I kind of pretend you're going home with me and that fairy tale isn't going to end and that's just dangerous ground there."

When she looked up at him, he reached up and brushed his fingers over her cheek gently. He started to offer a rebuttal, rationalize that it won't be that way, that they know so, they will be more cautious. But he couldn't. She was right. And he couldn't deny it.

He offered the only truth he could. "I can't."

Her eyes closed as his fingers brushed her cheek. "You have to Bear. We both do."

She was right. Again. Damn it. He traced his fingers over her lips, then drew closer and brushed a caress to her lips, a brief but tender touch.

She sighed, her hand lifting from where it rested against his side and up to the side of his face at that kiss. "This sucks, tonight is it isn't it?"

"Yes," he whispered, "this sucks." He reached up to take hold of her hand and drew his head back to look at her. He pressed his lips to the palm of her hand.

"It's for the best." Her voice was soft as she looked at him. "You know I'm right." Then despite what she was saying she leaned in to lightly press her lips to his.

His eyes closed as he felt her lips pressed to his lightly. He breathed her in...and silently breathed a sigh. "It doesn't mean you win," he finally whispered with tempered...no, strained humor.

"You never made it to number one." She leaned back and set her head on his shoulder again. "So yes, I did win."

His arm tightened around her gently and he pressed another kiss to her curls and nodded slowly. "Yeah," he sighed in a hush, much carried in that one word.

"You'll recover Bear." She smiled a little. "I'll go somewhere else for a while, by the time I get back you'll be over it all." The truth was she?d already had it all figured out, she knew where she was going, knew he couldn?t find her unless someone told him, knew that she could avoid him for years if she needed to.

He shook his head. Perhaps in reply to that he would recover. Perhaps that he'll be over it. Perhaps to her departure. Perhaps to all of it....he shook his head. "No," came his reply.
"Did you want to see your present?" he queried then in the same hushed tone.

"No. Keep it." She shook her head, not realizing that the answer she?d just given had shown more of her pain over the situation than anything else she?d said all night.

A breath or two passed, then he nodded in concession. "I should go."

She nodded as she sat up, pushing away from him. "Yeah. I should get things ready."

He reached out a staying hand. "Don't leave. I will."

"No."

He pushed up to his feet, or started to.

"You stay Bear, Bekah's here and I have other places I can go." She smiled a little. "I once thought about begging you to just run off with me." She pushed herself up to her feet. "It's all so silly." The whole argument was silly, both of them arguing about wanting to leave when really it was all just a stalling tactic.

He shook his head, rising to his feet. "I do too," he replied with a light grin. He leaned in to brush a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Stay. Please." He stepped away from her.

Her eyes had drifted closed at the kiss, every part of her was screaming at her to grab him and not let go but she stepped back and turned away, letting him walk out of the castle and her life.

A few hours later she was packed and heading for the Five Points Gate, she had an assignment in Seremanc and this was the perfect time to get going on it.