Topic: The Cutting Room Floor

Chris Driscoll

Date: 2010-09-17 14:28 EST
This thread is for posting bits and pieces of dialogue that took place in live role-play but weren't deemed important enough to make the cut and get posted on the boards. Hopefully, someone else finds them as entertaining as we do.

Chris Driscoll

Date: 2010-09-17 14:54 EST
The following conversation takes place in 2008 while Chris and Rocky are in Vegas. Rocky is referring to city at large.

Rocky: "This place isn't as pretty during the day."

Chris: "Yeah, it's like waking up next to a stripper and wondering what happened to the knockout you went home with the night before. Not that I've ever done that."

Rocky: That got him glared at.

Chris: "I haven't!" Not since he'd met her anyway.

Rocky: "Stone says 'Last night I came in at two with a ten; but at ten, I woke up with a two.'"

Chris Driscoll

Date: 2010-09-17 16:02 EST
The following happens in Vegas in 2008 when Rocky takes Chris to get fitted for a suit for their wedding.

Pierre: "Hellooo."

Rocky: She pinched Chris' rear. "I think he likes you, Hot Stuff."

Chris: Eyes wide with horror. "Rocky! Where are the women? They have something against hiring women?"

Rocky: "Calm down. He's not checking your prostate."

Chris: "Damn straight. There's nothing wrong with my prostate." He slapped her hand away from his rear. "Don't squeeze the Charmin."

Pierre: "Ze gentleman... he needs works, oui?"

Rocky: "Manicure, if you can get him to hold still."

Chris "Manicure? No way!"

Rocky: "You let them do what I'm paying for, Buster."

Chris: "I don't need a makeover!"

Rocky: "Right."

Chris: He glared at the guy with the measuring tape. "If you get anywhere near my junk, you're dead."

Pierre: "Inseam must be measured, Sir. Madame insists."

Chris: "Touch my inseam and I'm gonna ram my size eleven right where the sun don't shine."

Chris Driscoll

Date: 2010-09-17 16:24 EST
The following takes place in Vegas in 2008 when Chris meets up with Rocky after getting fitted for his suit.

Chris: "Hello, ladies." With a big grin.

Store Clerk: "The lady you are looking for is busy, and she said that we don't have shoes in your size. It is really neat that you and your partner are getting married out here and asked her to be your best... man?"

Rocky is snickering like hell from the dressing room.

Chris: "My what?"

Clerk: "It's okay. She told us that you are gay. You don't have to hide it. We see lots of that sort of thing here."

Rocky is practically rolling at this point.

Chris: "I am not..." He glared at the dressing room door his lovely fiancee was snickering behind.

Rocky: Holds up a hand over the door, showing two fingers, meaning she's two to his zip.

Chris: "Do I look gay to you?"

Rocky: Checking out the form fitting dress, muttering. "Nowhere to hide a gun."

Clerk: "Do gays look different than other people, sir?"

Chris: "It's Elmo, isn't it?" he asked, referring to his tshirt. "My niece gave it to me!"

Rocky: "I told them you were marrying Alfonse. He's my uncle."

Chris: Confused. "You have a gay uncle?"

Rocky: "I dare you to ask him that."

Chris: Perturbed. "You're the one that said I'm marrying him!"

Chris Driscoll

Date: 2010-09-17 16:30 EST
More banter in Vegas.

Chris: "Who are we... Mr. and Mrs. Smith?"

Rocky: "If so, you are Jolie."

Chris: "Chrisquel? Jolie is hot."

Rocky: "Puhleeze!" She pushed out her lips and sashayed around him. "How is that hot?!"

Chris: He broke into a grin. "How is that not hot?"

Rocky: "Maybe you'd be a better Chris Smith anyway."

Chris: "I am not changing my name to Smith, so forget it."

Rock: She huffed. "Fine."

Chris: "Bradgelina be damned."

Rocky: "Dumbass name anyway."

Chris: "Smith?" Smirk.

Rocky: "I was talking about Brangelina. Sounds like a breakfast cereal."

Chris: "I like Chrisquel better."

Rocky: "Why not Rockis?"

Chris: "Because that sounds retarded."