Topic: Pug Teams and Standings

Jan Madssen

Date: 2007-12-18 18:45 EST
Dockside Dragons - The Dragons are as tough as ever, notorious for their unpredictable runt and surprise comebacks. Merged into the Badside Bulldogs when they moved into RhyDin City, they split recently - and the Bulldogs aren't a forgiving bunch.

Badside Bulldogs - The nastiest bulls, the messiest tackles, the most runt injuries, and more deliberate touches and collisions than any team in pug history.

West End Warriors - The seediest team from the seediest streets of RhyDin, they have the freakiest fakeouts and the nastiest guards.

Old Market Mastiffs - They've had a pretty weak showing in the past, but a new coach and a revamped defense makes this team worth watching. If Coach Muscaro can pull off a winning season, I'm giving him a brathamen. I promise.

Old Temple Knights - They've yet to win it all, but I don't remember the Knights ever having an unimpressive showing. Their runt's predictable, but their discipline and manuevers are unmatched.

Dragon's Gate Danes - The Gate Danes, the Great Danes, call them what you will, this one's one helluva team! If there'd been a championship before, these guys woulda had it every year. Dragons might give 'em a run for their money...

Seaside Sirens - I don't know about the name, but you've gotta love the mascot! Solid defense and a brand new runt - we'll see how she works out...

New Haven Pirates - Hate to say it, ladies and gentlemen, but this team's never impressed me. Firecracker runt and they bought a bull off the Bulldogs, but I just don't think they have what it takes. But hey. I've been wrong before.

Jan Madssen

Date: 2008-01-01 15:47 EST
29 December

Hey, sportsfans, what a day! I damn near had myself a heart attack when they pushed the season back two weeks, but I came close again today, when the Mastiffs wiped the floor with Badside! Badside's runt barely got touched, but barely was enough, and the Bulldogs just couldn't break through that Mastiff defense. Incredible! After last season, to see the Mastiffs bleed thirty points out of Badside in three hours is just unbelievable, ladies and gentlemen.

And surprise surprise, Dragons went and trounced the Sirens. Big surprise, though, was at the break, when the runt laid a big one on the mascot! You've gotta keep your mind on the game, sweetheart.

Old Market Mastiffs - 11 Badside Bulldogs - 30
Dockside Dragons - 35 Seaside Sirens - 61
Old Temple Knights - 56 Dragon's Gate Danes - 60
West End Warriors - 44 New Haven Pirates - 62

W L T
Mastiffs 1 0 0
Dragons 1 0 0
Knights 1 0 0
Warriors 1 0 0
Bulldogs 0 1 0
Sirens 0 1 0
Danes 0 1 0
Pirates 0 1 0

Jan Madssen

Date: 2008-01-29 16:25 EST
5 January

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally - I was wrong! After last week, I was sure, I was near positive the Siren runt just doesn't have what it takes. But the way she ran today, sportsfans, was nothing short of magic. Historic, even! Because this woman was all over the Pirates' ring like she owned the place.

Someone better buy her before the Sirens realize what they've got and start playing some real pug!

Long match today, but with that runt all over the place, it was worth it.

Seaside Sirens - 22 New Haven Pirates - 49
Old Temple Knights - 52 West End Warriors - 60
Dockside Dragons - 58 Old Market Mastiffs - 61
Dragon's Gate Danes - 35 Badside Bulldogs - 60

W L T
Dragons 2 0 0
Knights 2 0 0
Mastiffs 1 1 0
Warriors 1 1 0
Danes 1 1 0
Sirens 1 1 0
Pirates 0 0 2
Bulldogs 0 0 2

Jan Madssen

Date: 2008-02-08 16:38 EST
2 February

Sportsfans, I gotta tell you, the last month is the closest to death I've ever come - I thought I was gonna die on the spot when they cancelled pug matches until the conclusion of negotiations! Turns out some holy rollers don't like the Siren runt's proclivities and wanted to outlaw mascot-runt relationships - got a fancy lawyer and everything to argue conflicts of interest, but not even the best man of the law can beat back good old fashioned fanservice!

A big upset today with the Dragons going down to the Mastiffs, and a sad day for pug - but Old Market? You've got my respect. Stop by my place sometime, and you can claim that brathamen - that's bratwurst, ham, and chicken for you new listeners.

Old Market Mastiffs - 55 Dockside Dragons - 60
Badside Bulldogs - 48 Old Temple Knights - 61
Dragon's Gate Danes - 32 Seaside Sirens - 44
New Haven Pirates - 58 West End Warriors - 62

W L T
Dragons 2 1 0
Knights 2 1 0
Mastiffs 2 1 0
Danes 2 1 0
Warriors 1 2 0
Sirens 1 2 0
Pirates 1 0 2
Bulldogs 1 0 2