"You look terrible."

Katarina looked over her shoulder at Andy, and didn't bother to hide her smirk, "Nice ta see ya too. How was th' tour?" Giving her arms a long stretch, Katarina moved away from the barre and picked up her light shawl to gently drap over her shoulders.

"Good. Peter and the Wolf has always been one of my favorites." He shrugged slightly and took a few steps to bridge the distance between them. "From what I have heard, everyone has had successful tours. I am surprised to still find you here."

"Ya wun fin' me tourin'. Did it once fer th' Count an' dun plan 'n doin' it 'gain." The past several months for the troupe was unlike their usual year. Small ensembles collaborated and went on short tours to show the newer troupe and create interest. Rumors where about that the troupe would soon be holding auditions, but Katarina paid them no mind. Auditions and a growing troupe would not jeopardize her position. "But 'm glad tha' ya had a good time. It's been real quiet lately, yeah?"

A small frown had formed on Andy's features and it didn't seem as though he was giving her words his full attention, "Yeah." He reached out gently and grazed her defined collarbone that was hidden under her shawl, "You look different," he hinted.

She batted his hand away, "Jist go' a lot 'n my min' righ' now." For months, Katarina had struggled with Locke's house arrest. She tried to be home when he was, tried to keep her spirits high to help him. However, over time the internal struggle just continued to become harder. Locke's mood had hit an all-time low, and she was trying to help him while dealing with her feelings of his distrust. She was just running out of energy and had no one to help rejuvenate her own spirit. Locke's mood manifested in different ways; restlessness, doubt, despair. Katarina's came with a lack of appetite and a stricter dancing schedule.

"I know your body almost as well as you do," there was a pause as Andy gave a cheeky grin to her scowl, "and I know that something is wrong. You are not taking care of yourself."

"Look, 'm doin' jist shiny righ' now." She pulled her shawl instinctively closer and tried to ignore how his words rocked her core. It was easy to get away with her thinning tone while most of the company was away. Loose-fitting clothes accompanied her at work and at home and a well-placed smile was usually all it took to maintain her looks. At home it was more difficult. She used her nanites as an excuse to dress more warmly and kept herself well covered. Dinner had its difficult moments when she forced as much food into her system before she simply gave up. She felt Locke's curious gaze on her often, but he didn't say anything and she didn't offer. "I'm a' th' top o' my game, an' more 'n ready fer th' nex' production."

Andy's look was skeptical, but he sighed, "If you say so. Where is Alik?"

"Th' Count sen' him ta tour wit' Th' Royal Academy fer a spell. He should be back within' th' week er two. Yer bunch was really th' las' ta return."

"Good." He rubbed his hands together, "Means we're back to business."

It was another early morning that Katarina made her way to the theatre and opera house. It was a good way avoid an empty house and to warm-up before heading to the scheduled rehearsal with the Black Cat Studios. Thus far, the experience was a refreshing difference with young and eager students surrounded by a supportive group. And Katarina had to admit ? Riley Lo had a gift with teaching her students. If anything, she hoped that a bridge between the studio and the troupe could be formed and that more productions could be done together.

Even the theatre acknowledged the beginning hours of the day. People were scarce to be seen and many hallways were not fully lit. It was becoming a preference to arrive before the majority of both workers and performers alike. She was able to claim any practice room she wanted and keep her privacy. Her dancing seemed to be the only constant happiness in her life and it was becoming to be the only way to center herself day after day. All of her optimism and joy was slowly drying while Locke was under house arrest. Now that his punishment was nearing the end, so were her reserves.

It was not the only thing to fade away from the ballerina. Her appetite was a continuous struggle. She knew well that she had to at least eat something during the day, but it was not enough for her active body. She could see it ? clearer bone definition, lack of energy, dry skin that bruised easy. It was a cycle she was all too familiar with. Back then, it was a choice and now, she felt like she had no choice. Even this morning, she felt the guilt creep into her middle while she tried to focus on her stretches. She had grabbed a banana to show Locke that she had something to eat on the way to practice, and still it sat in her bag. Some days she ate it, and others she gave it away. The banana had remained so far on the account of its usefulness when muscles cramped.

The further Katarina progressed into her daily warm-ups, the less her worries and anxieties clouded her mind. Each smooth movement added another layer of comfort, protection, and strength. It rejuvenated her spirit enough to know that she could go home and help get Locke one day closer to his freedom. Her muscles warmed with the movements and a certain sense of right. Some people made it through the day wearing masks ? she just danced. Her stretches became warm-ups, and her warm-ups blossomed into practiced routines to involve all the basic movements and techniques. Each step and movement of her arm stripped away her thoughts and obstacles and honed on her knowledge of her body. And when she reached the brisk pace of the coup? jet? en tournant, her limbs stretched and soared for the feeling of flight.

And then her vision blurred, the room spun, and she stumbled over her feet to fall over.

The fall itself did not appear to do much damage, aside from the impact and shock. Her knees ached and her right elbow would bruise something fierce, but right now, her hands were to her temples and her eyes tightly shut. So long as she only saw darkness, her head didn?t feel so confused. Tears stung her eyes from the initial shock, but as she remained on the floor for several minutes, the tears fell and their trails burned her cheeks. She didn?t fall because she had made a technical mistake ? she fell because she wasn?t taking care of herself. Despite the joy from her principle position, the knowledge that Locke would soon be free from his house arrest would eventually become her husband; she had no control over anything. Her job was controlled by a complicated man, her social life bound to a fianc??s past, and her future family life constantly stunted and on hold. Now, she couldn?t even control if she felt hungry or not.

It took another several minutes for the dancer to find her way through and out of the darkness of her thoughts. It would be okay. They would find what was wrong with Locke?s brother Liam, and fix it. A couple weeks and Locke would no longer be bound to a job that he loathed. Everything that she understood in her life would find its place again if she could last just a few weeks longer.

Finally, Katarina sat up, rubbed her eyes and wiped her cheeks. Standing, she tentatively tested her joints and muscles, relieved to further assess that her body was not damaged. She needed to be in the best condition for the show, and on that thought, gathered her belongings to head for rehearsal.

But first, she ate the banana.

It took ever fiber of control for Katarina to keep from bursting into tears on the spot. Dancers and teachers alike were buzzing with conversation and movement after practice. Props were rearranged and discussed for further use or alterations. New ballets required a lot of work and everyone was required to pitch in with their own talents. Even the newest members of the troupe were put to work and seemed comfortable with it. During her better moments, Katarina noticed how well many of the new dancers blended in to expand the troupe, and how many would have to potential to excel in their careers. If it wasn't for her current state of being, Katarina would have joined in the usual after-practice activity. Instead she was sitting in a corner with her things alone and taking an awfully long time to put her things away.

It had happened again today. She had been standing and leaning against the barre when she felt it - the blurry vision, the spinning head. If she hadn't already been gasping something, she probably would have collapsed. Instead, she just gripped the barre with both hands until it seemed to pass. She didn't go completely unnoticed - the newly returned Alik gave her a bizarre frown, but she just gave as slight smile and he seemed to let it go. She didn't have the time or the energy to think about it as practice went forward.

But now when her obligations were complete and her mind was free to wander, she felt hopelessness and despair. The past month she had tried so hard to avoid another episode. While she wasn't exactly gaining her weight back, she wasn't losing any more either. Each morning she took vitamins to help supplement what she was lacking in food. She was at a constant war with herself to eat at least two meals a day, and when she couldn't stomach it, to try smoothies - anything to give her system. But it wasn't enough. Her defenses were quickly crumbling and Katarina was running out of places to hide.

She heard footsteps behind her and took one look over her shoulder before looking away sharply, "Go away." Her words were distinct and clear and it made Alik pause.

"Katarina, I-"

"I said go away." She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and didn't relax until she heard him walk away. Thinking that he was the last one, she placed her face in her hands and gave herself a few moments to release her hold on her control and cry silently. She couldn't continue to go on like this. Something was going to give and it was going to be bad.

"Katie," She almost jumped when a hand touched her shoulder. When she looked up, the concerned tone and the tender expression on Andy's face was just too much. She tried to turn away to hide her tears, but he gathered her up in his arms fiercely, "Katie, you can't keep doing this."

"I can't, I can't..." It couldn?t be helped; Katarina sobbed against his shoulder as Andy patted her back. For so long she had bottled her concerns, and now they were spilling out everywhere. It took her several long minutes to calm down enough to speak again. There was a time or two that she thought someone tried the door and found it locked.

When Katarina had calmed down enough for deep breaths, Andy didn?t force her to talk, but enough laid words that were heavy on her heart, ?You can?t keep this all inside anymore.?