Immediately Following A Nightmare of a Wild Card
A very wet and very ? focused Jaycy flew home on black-striped silver wings, landing in a crouch at the front door. "Pslyder?" She called after easing wings once more into her back, tucking them away, and stepping through the front door. Her voice carried through the entrance way, seeking his answer.
"Here." The voice called from the upper bedroom. Not because of any raging machismo, it's just where he happened to be.
Quickly she bounded up the steps and hurried forth, coming to a sudden and slamming halt upon reaching the entryway to their bedroom. A hand lifted to the frame at her side as drops from the fountain dripped right onto the floor at her feet. She peered around for him from that position, seemingly ready to bolt again, voice gone silent and mouth gone dry as the "confrontation" was about to begin.
He stood there in front of the window, hands in the pockets of jeans, looking out into the darkness.
"Psly?" she finally asked, softly. "Want to start from the beginning?" She tried to keep the judgment from her voice; the flustered and fidgety nervousness his sudden admission brought upon her, but it seemed she was failing miserably.
"Never had much reason to think about it before." It wasn't quite the beginning, but he was more in a stream-of-consciousness mood at the moment. "Nothing ever seemed like it'd last long enough. Not until now."
"Mmm," she murred, in non-vocalized way of saying 'go on.' She took a step into the bedroom finally, folding arms across her chest.
"Been thinking on it since, well, around when the memory thing happened. Got me to thinking that hey ... I really might not be around forever." He'd quieted as he stared out into the dark. "It got me scared."
After a moment, she sighed and moved to him, arms uncrossing and turning out, to draw hands across his bicep. "Psly?" Look at me, she silently implored. The admission of his fright cut through her, softened her where she had a moment ago been her own ball of terrified knots. "Want to sit down?"
When he turned, his eyes ... wide open, pinprick shut. Pupils like little dots, dealing with the severity of the situation. "I wanted something from the both of us, just in case. . ." Something happens. Something bad. He didn't even think the words, but there they were. "Yeah. Let's sit."
Her gaze flicked to the bed but she quickly dismissed that destination. Not for this talk. So she drew him out toward the balcony, pulling open the closer of the french doors before guiding him to the two-seater bench there. "I can understand how you feel, love." She murmured, trying her damnedest to keep her tone gentle and supportive even while his words were setting off a maelstrom of a different sort within and she wanted to contradict what he was saying. A hand inched toward his, intending to slip within his larger grasp.
Gamely, he took a seat, letting her take his hand. Cool. Abnormally cool, even for him. "Yeah, I'd figured you might." He shook his head, letting his gaze wander. "You know a hell of a lot more on this subject than I ever will."
Wincing slightly, she looked away from him and toward the woods that their balcony afforded a view of. "What brought your mind to children when you thought about it, love?" She kept her voice at a whisper, kept her hand in his even while her own trembled. "When you meant you wanted something from the both of us."
"It's something I've never had. The desire to be a father. I remember mine, growing up. Remember losing him, watching him wither away with rage after the Night of Fire, where mom and my sister died." Ruefully, he shook his head. "I didn't want to be that guy, so I thought that meant I didn't want kids. Ever." He looked at her again. "I was wrong."
She winced at meeting his eyes, the movement from crown to the very tips of the hand he held, and swiftly ducked her head. "Do you think there are other ways you're have something from the both of us? Even beyond us having each other - literally - in our blood?" She finally looked up and smiled weakly. "Is this mayhaps an easy answer to something you want, instead of a right answer?" Will you regret it, will you regret me after it, stayed unspoken. "How long have you been thinking about it?"
"I don't know. I don't know what kind of a father I'd be, dealing with it full-time. I just know a lot about what not to do, from memories." Sucking in a deep breath through his nose, he let it out in a rush. "Consciously, for the past few months. Probably longer, without really knowing it. Hellfires, I don't even know if it's a possibility." He paused, a long and fretful moment. "I do know we know people who could find out."
"From what I've seen with you and the boys, Psly, you'd make a fine father. Even if it hasn't been full time." That statement carried more weight, more volume, for it was surer ground she stood on. "I've no doubt of your ability. You're a loving man and that would carry." She sighed, then, squeezing his hand. "Mayhaps before we see if there's any possibility to it, we should decide if we really want to have children." No, no, her mind inwardly screamed, but she locked that thought down tight.
A very wet and very ? focused Jaycy flew home on black-striped silver wings, landing in a crouch at the front door. "Pslyder?" She called after easing wings once more into her back, tucking them away, and stepping through the front door. Her voice carried through the entrance way, seeking his answer.
"Here." The voice called from the upper bedroom. Not because of any raging machismo, it's just where he happened to be.
Quickly she bounded up the steps and hurried forth, coming to a sudden and slamming halt upon reaching the entryway to their bedroom. A hand lifted to the frame at her side as drops from the fountain dripped right onto the floor at her feet. She peered around for him from that position, seemingly ready to bolt again, voice gone silent and mouth gone dry as the "confrontation" was about to begin.
He stood there in front of the window, hands in the pockets of jeans, looking out into the darkness.
"Psly?" she finally asked, softly. "Want to start from the beginning?" She tried to keep the judgment from her voice; the flustered and fidgety nervousness his sudden admission brought upon her, but it seemed she was failing miserably.
"Never had much reason to think about it before." It wasn't quite the beginning, but he was more in a stream-of-consciousness mood at the moment. "Nothing ever seemed like it'd last long enough. Not until now."
"Mmm," she murred, in non-vocalized way of saying 'go on.' She took a step into the bedroom finally, folding arms across her chest.
"Been thinking on it since, well, around when the memory thing happened. Got me to thinking that hey ... I really might not be around forever." He'd quieted as he stared out into the dark. "It got me scared."
After a moment, she sighed and moved to him, arms uncrossing and turning out, to draw hands across his bicep. "Psly?" Look at me, she silently implored. The admission of his fright cut through her, softened her where she had a moment ago been her own ball of terrified knots. "Want to sit down?"
When he turned, his eyes ... wide open, pinprick shut. Pupils like little dots, dealing with the severity of the situation. "I wanted something from the both of us, just in case. . ." Something happens. Something bad. He didn't even think the words, but there they were. "Yeah. Let's sit."
Her gaze flicked to the bed but she quickly dismissed that destination. Not for this talk. So she drew him out toward the balcony, pulling open the closer of the french doors before guiding him to the two-seater bench there. "I can understand how you feel, love." She murmured, trying her damnedest to keep her tone gentle and supportive even while his words were setting off a maelstrom of a different sort within and she wanted to contradict what he was saying. A hand inched toward his, intending to slip within his larger grasp.
Gamely, he took a seat, letting her take his hand. Cool. Abnormally cool, even for him. "Yeah, I'd figured you might." He shook his head, letting his gaze wander. "You know a hell of a lot more on this subject than I ever will."
Wincing slightly, she looked away from him and toward the woods that their balcony afforded a view of. "What brought your mind to children when you thought about it, love?" She kept her voice at a whisper, kept her hand in his even while her own trembled. "When you meant you wanted something from the both of us."
"It's something I've never had. The desire to be a father. I remember mine, growing up. Remember losing him, watching him wither away with rage after the Night of Fire, where mom and my sister died." Ruefully, he shook his head. "I didn't want to be that guy, so I thought that meant I didn't want kids. Ever." He looked at her again. "I was wrong."
She winced at meeting his eyes, the movement from crown to the very tips of the hand he held, and swiftly ducked her head. "Do you think there are other ways you're have something from the both of us? Even beyond us having each other - literally - in our blood?" She finally looked up and smiled weakly. "Is this mayhaps an easy answer to something you want, instead of a right answer?" Will you regret it, will you regret me after it, stayed unspoken. "How long have you been thinking about it?"
"I don't know. I don't know what kind of a father I'd be, dealing with it full-time. I just know a lot about what not to do, from memories." Sucking in a deep breath through his nose, he let it out in a rush. "Consciously, for the past few months. Probably longer, without really knowing it. Hellfires, I don't even know if it's a possibility." He paused, a long and fretful moment. "I do know we know people who could find out."
"From what I've seen with you and the boys, Psly, you'd make a fine father. Even if it hasn't been full time." That statement carried more weight, more volume, for it was surer ground she stood on. "I've no doubt of your ability. You're a loving man and that would carry." She sighed, then, squeezing his hand. "Mayhaps before we see if there's any possibility to it, we should decide if we really want to have children." No, no, her mind inwardly screamed, but she locked that thought down tight.