Topic: Just Some Sentences

Cait

Date: 2014-09-30 19:56 EST
9/28
Today was really long. I sat at home most of the day moping around. I had plans to go see a movie with Lacey but it didn?t work out. After those plans fell through, the rest of the day followed suit.

I dropped Deacon?s mug and broke it. That set me off crying like an idiot for a few hours. I wanted to call Kyle, but called Blake instead. He said he?d come over after work. I waited around all day doing nothing in the hopes of getting a little distraction later on?only to get a call around 10 saying he couldn?t make it.

Then I broke down and sent Kyle a text. To be honest, I didn?t expect him to be awake. But he shot a response back almost immediately and it made me miss the times we?d text for hours. Or just hang out with him. I don?t know why I had to go and mess things up, but it?s my own fault. I shouldn?t have been so indecisive. Now he?s moved on and I?m over here using a guy who doesn?t deserve to be used.

Maybe someone will punch Zee so hard during a fight she never wakes up. Ok, that was really dark. I should go to bed.

Cait

Date: 2014-09-30 19:57 EST
9/29
Kyle has a brother he?s never mentioned before. After meeting him, I can?t say that I blame him for doing that. But he was really creepy. His name?s Nick and he had some redhead chick with him.

They were talking about Deacon, which is what caught my attention at first. When I turned around to actually look at the guy, he?s a dead ringer for Kyle. It?s the eyes, I think. It was weird. But I guess I wasn?t being discreet enough in watching them because they came over to interrogate me. No, actually interrogate me. They were like some creepy cop couple who probably have a file full of disciplinary action. Nick was absolutely vile.

And because it?s just a regular monday, they decided to threaten me. It?s not a monday in Rhydin without a death threat. You?d think I?d be used to them by now, what with Max still holding a torch for me, but it scared the shit out of me. I thought the chick was going to *actually* break my fingers or something, right there in the middle of a crowded bar.

They want to know where Kyle is. And I want to know why. Something tells me Kyle isn?t going to be very open about it.

Cait

Date: 2014-10-08 10:31 EST
10/2/14
I don?t know what came over me. I was bored and missed hanging out with Kyle. I don?t know why I thought we could just pretend to be friends. I mean, we are friends, but we can?t act like it when there?s something else lurking inside us both. He wants--or wanted me. But he chose Zara. Because I couldn?t make a decision. As with everything, it?s entirely my fault.

I brought dinner over to his place and the wine that Maelstrom gifted me when Deacon died. We turned it into a celebratory acknowledgement of my new job tutoring. Only, I ended up asking about his brother and some of the things he mentioned the night we met. I was hoping it was just a lie to get under my skin?but Kyle confirmed it. How do you go on being friends with someone who tried to rape your sister?

I drank too much of the wine and ended up telling him about Will and then what happened with CJ. Maybe gave him a little perspective into why I am the way I am. Only now I wish I hadn?t. It made us closer. And I was drunk. And he played a stupid trumpet and it was sexy and? His hand was on my knee, but just as I got my fingers around his hand, Zara shows up. Talk about a mood killer. She played it off nicely, but I could tell she wasn?t thrilled to see me. I mean, I don?t blame her. Come home to find your boyfriend sitting on the couch with another chick while drinking wine together? Not exactly the picture of innocence, even if my intentions were pure to begin with.

I miss when life didn?t feel so complicated.