How long had it been?
Since the light of day was even seen?
Since the warmth of the sun had been felt?
Since the pain that wracked this body to its very core had not been?
Since the day her voice had been heard?
There was honestly no idea at all, just how long it had been since any of that, or so much else had once been..
Memories came and went, sometimes when the pain was at a very rare lull. Flashes of what was, and may have been. Glimmers of could once be, sometime soon, or afar.
Time seemed a rather meaningless concept at this juncture.. A concept lost within the constant that was darkness, and indescribable pain. A concept that carried little weight compared to the torment, that was shared with a somewhat select few. A concept that didn't mean sh*t against the current state of affairs, or lack there of..
Then there were the voices...
Some ever so familiar, others not so.
Sometimes they were soft, and others not so... Some shrieked in such pain, and then would groan in such agony.. Some cried out in sheer defiance, while others whimpered with such utter conviction of defeat.
Some would taunt, and offer such false promises... Others would sooth, with an ease not felt in ages, past.
Many would question, and question... Some would demand, and become very irate.
All of these voices, and yet there was one missing from all of this.
But that was only one part of the whole, it seemed.
Another was the constant drain... The slow and rather methodical ebbing, that would never cease. At least that is how it felt, to the best of what words could describe. The tiredness, that seemed to keep such a fog abound.. Thoughts were slowed, and rather mixed in nature..
Movement was, lack thereof.
The pain however, that was something that was as constant as the drainage.
It was something that like the ebbing would not cease, what so ever and occasionally it would become more so.. It was felt all over, as well.. There was not a part that did not hurt in some way, shape or form.
Sometimes it would be felt deeply, in some places.. More so, with such intent, as the fire of pain erupted with such ferocity. And just as quickly as it had begun, it would end and become the norm once more..
Those parts, were sometimes welcomed. After all, it was something like that--- that told someone they were still alive.. That they still felt... That they still breathed, and more so--- lived.
Still that aside, the fog of despair did in fact hung very much so.. And even had begun to root itself, so deeply within. Such a welcome, at times.. The numbing nature.. The ease of which one would readily just accept whatever happened, and simply---give in..
How long had it been since, the feeling of giving in like this.-- had not been?
He could not tell you, even if he wanted to..
The binding of his mouth assured that, to no end.
How long had it been, since he had cried out in such defiance against the world itself, and taking all it had to offer head on, with no regard to life or limb?
How long had it been since the faces of loved ones had actually been seen for himself, and not in the shadows of what was left of his mind allowed?
How long had it been since he--- 'lived'?
He had no idea...
There were some indicators, as to some length of time..
Tears had long since dried.. The smell of soiled flesh, and infection.. The tingle that would signal a lack of blood flow, was no longer present.
The fact that night and day were so lost to him, as was everything else..
So many how longs, and since whens..
So many indeed..
Since the light of day was even seen?
Since the warmth of the sun had been felt?
Since the pain that wracked this body to its very core had not been?
Since the day her voice had been heard?
There was honestly no idea at all, just how long it had been since any of that, or so much else had once been..
Memories came and went, sometimes when the pain was at a very rare lull. Flashes of what was, and may have been. Glimmers of could once be, sometime soon, or afar.
Time seemed a rather meaningless concept at this juncture.. A concept lost within the constant that was darkness, and indescribable pain. A concept that carried little weight compared to the torment, that was shared with a somewhat select few. A concept that didn't mean sh*t against the current state of affairs, or lack there of..
Then there were the voices...
Some ever so familiar, others not so.
Sometimes they were soft, and others not so... Some shrieked in such pain, and then would groan in such agony.. Some cried out in sheer defiance, while others whimpered with such utter conviction of defeat.
Some would taunt, and offer such false promises... Others would sooth, with an ease not felt in ages, past.
Many would question, and question... Some would demand, and become very irate.
All of these voices, and yet there was one missing from all of this.
But that was only one part of the whole, it seemed.
Another was the constant drain... The slow and rather methodical ebbing, that would never cease. At least that is how it felt, to the best of what words could describe. The tiredness, that seemed to keep such a fog abound.. Thoughts were slowed, and rather mixed in nature..
Movement was, lack thereof.
The pain however, that was something that was as constant as the drainage.
It was something that like the ebbing would not cease, what so ever and occasionally it would become more so.. It was felt all over, as well.. There was not a part that did not hurt in some way, shape or form.
Sometimes it would be felt deeply, in some places.. More so, with such intent, as the fire of pain erupted with such ferocity. And just as quickly as it had begun, it would end and become the norm once more..
Those parts, were sometimes welcomed. After all, it was something like that--- that told someone they were still alive.. That they still felt... That they still breathed, and more so--- lived.
Still that aside, the fog of despair did in fact hung very much so.. And even had begun to root itself, so deeply within. Such a welcome, at times.. The numbing nature.. The ease of which one would readily just accept whatever happened, and simply---give in..
How long had it been since, the feeling of giving in like this.-- had not been?
He could not tell you, even if he wanted to..
The binding of his mouth assured that, to no end.
How long had it been, since he had cried out in such defiance against the world itself, and taking all it had to offer head on, with no regard to life or limb?
How long had it been since the faces of loved ones had actually been seen for himself, and not in the shadows of what was left of his mind allowed?
How long had it been since he--- 'lived'?
He had no idea...
There were some indicators, as to some length of time..
Tears had long since dried.. The smell of soiled flesh, and infection.. The tingle that would signal a lack of blood flow, was no longer present.
The fact that night and day were so lost to him, as was everything else..
So many how longs, and since whens..
So many indeed..