Topic: Chasm of perception

Ewan Corinsson

Date: 2009-05-08 16:26 EST
It was early morning. Morning that heard the creaking of warehouse doors opening, shops jangling bells as they unlocked their doors, and the aroma of pastries and breads would exchange for dankness of left over night. Ewan walked through the warehouse district towards the warehouse that was once the property of Yransea, but more so used now for his cousin's business interests. He had an overdue interest there himself, and had made it his first intention of the day to see it through.

The workers were all arriving, surprised to see him among them at that hour, and it set them to whispering. Ewan went up the steps, past Hudson's empty office. That was expected as he anticipated the man would be out at sea fishing. It was the other office's occupant he had come to see, and he was relieved to find he had not come too early. There was the briefest knock at the door frame before he entered. "Good morning, Eva." It was an intentionally simple greeting.

Though Eva had been warned to expect a visit from Ewan, she had grown accustom to days passing without seeing him in her door. So it was a look of surprise that first greeted him, followed by a polite, if reserved, smile. "Good morning. Please, come on in."

She'd only had time to begin organizing her work for the day. But ledgers and notes were quickly pushed aside, and she gestured for the single chair on the opposite side of the desk. "What can I do for you?" Though she had been coming to the warehouse everyday for work for months now, she still felt as if she weren't certain who was the guest in her office, she or Ewan, and it felt odd to offer him a seat. She did so all the same.

He nodded at the polite offer of the seat and stepped towards it, but before he sat he raised a hand to silently ask her indulgence. At that he removed his weapons. The cross sheathed blades from his back were set upon a nearby cabinet. The daggers from his belt, too, joined the others. It was symbolic to him, though he doubted Eva would precisely understand. If he was to ask her certain questions, then it would do for him to be undefended, in a fashion, as well.

When he sat, he did so with ease, hands resting unlaced across his abdomen, the leather of the bracers creaking only slightly as they brushed against the supple leather vest. "I believe you were told to anticipate my coming to see you, and I must apologize for the delay in that. Do you know why I am to speak with you?"

Eva watched as he removed his weapons. Though no one had ever told her explicitly, she assumed that her handgun was contraband. Ewan had explained to her upon her hiring that she was to respect Yransea culture, and she took that to mean that anything from a ball point pen to a calculator was not to be used in the warehouse. For the most part, she respected that. But her gun, which was currently stowed in its usual place in her top left hand desk drawer, was smuggled in and hid in her office on a daily basis. She wouldn't even leave her room unarmed, let alone cross the West End. The Muse and her minions were everywhere. Carrying a blade was not in her skill set, and as far as she was concerned, required her to be much too up close and personal with her enemies. She'd recently been that close. She preferred her gun.

She retook her seat across the desk from him, and shifted the chair forward a bit, scraping its legs on the floor. She waited until she was settled to answer his question, the pause giving her a moment to try to find a polite answer. "I assumed it was regarding your reservations... about my... employment."

A thoughtful nod, he could not deny it was part of it. "Partially, yes. I was told to speak with you as my cousin thinks my concerns may have unduly influenced your decision to accept the raise in position and its accompanying salary." He slowly leaned forward, bracered forearms on knees. He wanted her to know she had his full and undivided attention, and there was expectation in his eyes as well: expectation for the truth.

She looked back at him, silent. There was no direct question in his statement, and though she knew what the implied question was, the expectation in his eyes made her loathe to respond. She simply didn't wish to be the first to speak on the topic.

Ewan Corinsson

Date: 2009-05-08 16:27 EST
It was a low, brief laugh. He shook his head ever so slightly. The lack of trust was so apparent to him, the reticence. His palms rubbed together slowly and realizing it was a familiar preparation for battle, he stopped. The weapons had gone and yet the instinct had remained, and he had to fight it. "So, since you did not accept the position, nor do you seem to be forthcoming on the matter, I see I will have to be more blunt. Did my concerns affect your decision?"

"As I told Hudson when I declined the offer, I don't think I'm the right person for the position. I think... I believe I am already in the position where I can be at my best ... though I did offer to assist whomever Captain Caisson wants to hire with the transition." Her eyes left his to look down at her hands on her lap. Though it was early in the morning, she looked tired, as if she had already been doing battle for much of the night.

"Your concerns... have just... well... it disappointed me, and made me uncomfortable." Her eyes lifted to look at him once more.

"Then we feel much the same, though not for exactly the same reasons. My concerns are about trust. Twice at the least there have been public displays, and that while troubling, is not so disturbing to me as what might be the cause of them."

He sat back, teetering inside and how much he wanted to reveal. It was trust he wanted, so it was trust he was going to have to give. "I look into the lives of every employee here, not just so I can make sure none is an assassin looking for access to Her Excellency or her children, but so I can assist in the safety of everyone. I failed in keeping up with an employee's troubles and it nearly cost lives. If you have troubles, Eva, I would like to know of them, but more than that, I need your trust. My cousin and Hudson are trusting you with the livelihoods of the workers here. If this warehouse fails, Gaerwyn may be hurt financially, but he will not suffer. The workers out there will. Trust is the only thing that can help me in my job."

A slow breath, "With that said, do you have anything you wish to share? I am not a father confessor, nor would I know how to perform absolution, but I know the weight of a past upon shoulders."

Eva frowned, her hands balling into fists and rubbing the thighs of her pants. She looked away for a moment, took a slow breath matching his own, and then looked back. "When this job was first offered to me, you sat in that exact chair, right there, and you asked me what you must have known was a difficult question about my personal life. And I could have gotten upset, I could have gotten upset that my... that my off-work habits had been looked into... but I didn't. I just... I entrusted you with... with knowledge that is very difficult to share... that I... that I barely share with the closest of my friends here. Maybe that's my fault... because maybe by being so honest and forthcoming in that moment, you failed to see how... how difficult that was for me... knowing you were looking into my personal life, knowing you might find out, knowing how I wanted and needed this job." She managed to keep her voice quiet for the sake of the open door, but it was strained with her emotion.

"And then you sat in that chair, and you told me that... that... that for my openness and honesty, you would support me... that's what you said... but... during these... these public displays, as you call them, you didn't remotely support me... you looked at me like I was out of my mind... without even the consideration that my behavior might have... might have legitimate motivation. And considering that you still recall these displays with concern, it just... I just don't understand why not once have you come to me to ask me what happened. I trusted you with... I put a lot of trust in you and you couldn't even give me the benefit of the doubt."

She blew out a heavy breath and shook her head. "I have done this job to the best of my ability, and I'd like to think I do it well. It's your turn for a show of trust. So no... I don't... I don't have anything I wish to share."

"I had hoped you would come to me, Eva. Yes, they concerned me. Yes, they still concern me, but was I to reveal those concerns in front of others? I trust those events do have legitimate motivations, though, I disagree with your method of acting upon whatever the motivations might be. And did you not think my not coming to you was giving you the benefit of the doubt? I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, Eva. But I cannot further, so right now, I am here, and I am here asking you why." He felt the cage rattle inside, and his palms rubbed together once more. She accused him of failing in his word to her, of failing to support her. He knew he could not have supported her so openly at the moment without knowing more, but he could see she had no way of understanding that.

"I want to understand, Eva, as I am most grievously sorry that you believe my lack of response as lack of support. I see that now from your point of view, that is exactly what it looked like." He wanted to growl and grit his teeth, but he forced himself to relax. He could not show concern for her behavior while duplicating it himself. "I will support you, but I cannot do that on whims. I am not a man to act without information if I can help it. It is not a pleasant sight when I do act, nor am I man of your passions in public. I have learned it is best I am not so open when here in Rhydin." It was the best at explaining he could offer without turning this into something about him instead of about her, which was why he was here.

Ewan Corinsson

Date: 2009-05-08 16:29 EST
Her brow furrowed as she listened to him speak, hands rubbing once again on the thighs of her pants. Even as the silence settled between them, silence filled with the noise of the workers below, Eva was busy in her thoughts. "I was... I was supposed to come to you?" There was almost genuine bewilderment in her tone.

"Ewan... I'm sorry... but... well... first of all, this is... this is my job. It's not my life. My personal life is my problem. I mean... I see why you do what you do... I mean, even before we'd spoken last year, I had heard the rumors about what happened here... but... but I come here, and I do my job well... if... if my behavior outside of this office means I can't accept the promotion that's been offered, I've already said that's fine... I'm more comfortable in this position anyhow, and as I said before, I think I serve this job well.

"But... I come to work here every day. I mean, what I'm saying is... I'm not oblivious to what's happening here. I hear the rumors like everyone else. I know that this warehouse is just... just a tiny portion of your responsibilities. Why in the world should I... should I trouble you with my personal problems? I mean, I was supposed to come to you? You're not my supervisor. My problems are not prohibiting me from doing the job I have now. I mean, please tell me if you think that they are... but... you have plenty on your plate without my little problems." It was disingenuous to call them little, but still, even the Muse, the dangers to her and Mason, these were not the fate of a Barony.

His teeth did grit a little. "I failed to make myself clear upon your hiring then, that every person that works in this warehouse is my concern. If your personal problems bring you into risk, then that is my concern."

Something his wife had said came to him, and he realized, maybe that it applied here as well. "I think, maybe, this misunderstanding has to do with our different backgrounds. In my world, working somewhere becomes part of a person's life. It is not separate from who they are. I think maybe that is where we have discovered a conflict. You see," he leaned forward, one hand opening palm upwards, almost beckoning her, urging her to join him in trying to understand his point of view, "every person who works here is important and their personal lives, what difficulties they have there, whether debts, personal grudges, can threaten them...their person. It is their person I am responsible for keeping safe as much as I can, though in Rhydin I will admit it to being more difficult." That bitterness was impossible to keep out of his voice.

"You do your job well, I will not deny that. From my understanding," he paused to encourage her to correct him if he was wrong, just a look was all the encouragement he communicated, "you see as your personal life completely removed from your work. It is not part of who you are, nor do your actions in one part have any weight upon the other part. That is a difficult concept for me to understand. Am I incorrect in that?"

"It's not as if I don't care..." She frowned, looking at his hand, then reaching for a pencil to twist between her fingers. "I care for... I take pride in my work... and, yeah, I care for Hudson and the workers... and I cared for Rhys a lot... but... yeah, I mean... when I leave here... I'm going to my home life... I don't see myself as the Accountant of the Yransea Warehouse when I go have a drink at the end of the day in the inn." She looked up from her pencil to his face, to see if he understood her.

"Yes, exactly," he sighed and sat back, "and that is hard for me to release. I am always Master of Arms for Yransea, and husband and father, and other things. It never leaves me." He hoped she would understand as well. "I ask that you keep such in mind should I," a faint twitch at the corner of his mouth, "look at you as if you have gone crazy again, but I would also ask that you do come to me, or if I should come to you, as I have done today, you do not take me for the enemy. I am not and hope never to be one to you or yours."

It all still felt unfinished, like a house unfurnished, just the beams and boards, rather like his house's current state. In a sense, he also felt the sting of failure. The breach was too wide for them to meet in the middle just yet. It would take time. "If the position you have now is the one you desire to keep, then so be it, and I will inform Gaerwyn as such. But if you want the other position, a position which has more visibility in the public, where your actions in public will reflect upon this business, then I can aid you in directing your grievances in a more constructive way, or aid you in ridding of those grievances if they threaten your well being. If that is not aid you neither need nor desire, then so be it." It was a simple offer, and ready to be rejected, knowing a little more now than he did before, and having some understanding of his failures despite the rattling defiance inside him, which he would sooth later in the practice ring.

Eva knew she had a temper, one that she was hardly proud of, so there wasn't much of a sting to his offer to help her be more constructive in confronting her problems. However, she still wasn't ready to accept the offer. No matter how they'd come through the conversation, like him, she felt that they hadn't quite crossed the chasm between them. "Thank you... for... well... those offers. At this time... I'd prefer to stay in my current position, though... I hope you'll... you'll tell Captain Caisson that... well that I appreciate his and Hudson's show of confidence in my abilities in offering me the position... and that... I'm grateful for the opportunity, but feel that I would be better continuing in the position I hold for the time being." She would be a fool not to have aspirations. Of course she did. But for the time being, though she wasn't ready to discuss it with Ewan, Mason's struggles with the Muse and the long shadow she cast over their lives, kept her from taking on too much. And she could never diminish her ability to protect herself and Mason, wherever, whenever, with whatever means necessary. She would remain as she was.

"Very well," he spoke as he rose. "I will not keep you from the rest of your day, as I am certain it is a busy one." With the ease of putting on clothes, he replaced his weapons in their sheaths. The hiss of their sliding home was a comforting sound that brought the slice of a smile to his face. He looked greatly more at ease having them on his person. A bow of his head to Eva, he awaited dismissal, just that one moment longer in case there was anything else she wished to say but he would not press for it.

She watched him put his weapons back on, watched the smile on his face, and tilted her head. She could see the warrior in the reserved man before her, and understood him better, even if they still didn't see eye to eye. She nodded her head in response and offered a faint smile as she stood. "Thank you for coming to see me."

"At your service," and he turned for the door and went down to share words with the workers there, just catching up with them, building the needed rapport, before he went on to let the cage break free.