Sylvia walked the grounds of Seansloe Manor. Sunlight cast down golden strands that could not banish the chill of the skin, only that in the soul. It did cheer her to see it and have to shade her eyes from it when she looked up at the workers measuring the framing of the gates.

Wood had burned and been hacked into weakness. Blasts had cracked stone and trembled foundations. Those had been repaired. Now, at last, was just the remaining wood of the iron bound gates. The rebuilding had mostly taken place in her absence, but the past week since her return had seen the final scars and wounds upon stone, brick and wood fade.

The prize of the brigands having moved into Yransea at the time, they had left Seansloe Manor to its healing. That prize, Her Majesty, Queen Rian, and the heir to Palendies were once more in their own home in the King's City. Sylvia had received word that day the caravan escorting the queen had arrived safely.

Now, she toured the grounds in the bright of day with the smell of smithies coloring the air mingling with the ripe scent of pine tar. Lingering beneath those smells, the salt of the sea carried on a south born wind.

"My lady, you see the repairs go well." Llew arrived at her side with an encouraging light to his eyes fed by his smile.

She had seen his approach, but avoiding openly acknowledging him. Even when he did not make himself companion to her hours, his bard often stood in his stead. It was becoming an incessant trickle of information about the northern lands, the lands in particular owned by Llew, and what she would miss if she did not at the least come to visit.

Forced into the conversation, she gathered up a smile from picturing her children laughing as they had that morning. "Yes, I do see so. I had anticipated that you would be returning to your own lands, my lord. Are they not in need of your attention?"

His mouth seemed to shrink like a sugar cube doused with tea. "It is true that I should return soon to my own lands. I remained in hopes that you would accompany me once you were satisfied with the completion of the construction here."

"I see." Sylvia remained civil though silent. She no longer had an excuse to refuse his invitation. There was no ground to stand upon, no mourning, no preparations, and any threats that still lingered would be snuffed out if she accepted him.

The lake shore was lined with rocks; big and small like wayward orphans of the steep hills and mountains that rose up along its eastern line. Lord Llewellyn?s residence was a stately home constructed of regionally mined stone. It was a burnished golden tone in the day and paled into milk under the power of the moon. The waters of its nearby lake, not more than a stone?s throw from one of the home windows, were chilly even in the warmth of summer. At this cusp of winter to spring, the edge was still frozen, though the center had cracked free. It would take the full day to row from one shoreline to the other it was so vast, and Aidan peered across it in echo of his mother.

Sylvia wandered the shoreline daily to escape the looks of the servants and the attentions of Llew. It was not the sea, but in some way it made the memories of Hudson even keener upon her mind. She wondered if this place was not in some way similar to his homeland, and with that thought would be accepting Llew a faint grasp at holding on to a memory of another man.

?Mummy,? Aidan started his query with a puzzled frown and tug on her skirt.

Switching the slumbering Beata from one shoulder to another, she looked down at Aidan who had stopped throwing rocks into the lake. ?Tired arm??

?No,? he shook his head with vigor and as if needing to prove it, he picked up another rock and threw it to watch the slide across the ice and plunk over the edge into the water. ?What are we doin? today??

How clear he spoke. The lisp had disappeared on the past weeks with the journey up across the country and the few days they had spent as guests of Llew. She was glad of it in some ways, but also in hearing such a clear difference in his growing up. ?I do not know, but,? she turned hearing the approach of another, ?I think Lord Llewellyn might have an idea.?

Llewellyn?s smile was reserved, but no less cheerful for it. Aidan ran to him, scrambling over rocks instead of going around them. With arms opened wide to him, Llew scooped him up to hold. Sylvia turned from the scene and focused on the cool of the lake until she was certain the tears stinging her eyes would fade. Once managed she turned with a smile to the man once a stranger and her son who looked too much at ease in the elder?s arms for her liking. ?Aidan was wondering what we were to do today.?

?Ah,? Llew?s smile widened some, ?I do have an idea or two if I can steal your mother away from the lake. I cannot say I blame her, as it is a wonderful view, but I thought perhaps we might see more of the lands, crossing up to Mount Faiddlain. It will take the rest of the light given to us for the ride, but there is a cabin there, typically meant for hunting parties, where we can stay.?

Sylvia was concerned about the sleeping Beata on such a journey. ?I do not know, my lord.?

?Llew,? he corrected gently.

?Llew,? she granted with soft reservation. ?It may be too long a journey, and upon horseback as well.?

?Aidan shall ride with me, have no fear on that count. We?ll be havin? a grand journey tonight.?

Her son looked so thrilled at the prospect. Here he was the focus of all the attention ? Cian?s shadow was stripped away. Sylvia felt the dark skepticism whisper in her mind that Llew?s attentions were merely to win her over. Sincerity seemed unlikely, but she had no true reason to doubt. Still, unlike with Kieran, or Hudson, his true feelings mattered little. If she assented to the arrangement it would be just that ? an arrangement. As long as the man was not overtly cruel, did it matter if he really cared? She had had love. It was time to consider the best for her children, and this situation would give Aidan advantages and opportunities in his life that being the second in line in Yransea would not grant him.

?Very well,? Sylvia nodded. ?We will take this adventure.?

"I hope you and your companions will be comfortable in the guest house," Sylvia smiled as they turned from the track onto the road. When Llew did not immediately answer, she looked a bit more closely at the man. "Are you feeling well, my lord?"

Llew's face was pale beneath the brush of grey whiskers. His eyes slid towards her, when she notice he had something of a death grip on the reins that was causing his horse to toss her head. "You travel through that often?"

To fight her first instinct of laughter, she pressed her lips firmly together and nodded. Her attempt to hide was not lost on the man, however, who countered, "You find it amusing?"

"Forgive me, my lord, but it was unexpected to see you so discomfited. I did warn you of its effects. One does become used to it." Sobering her expression with sincere sympathy.

The tension in the reins began to relax and a faint smile twitched along the man's lips. "We will see if that is so."

Sylvia did not miss the intended meaning there. Llew had every expectation that he would be visiting with future frequency, or at least enough to discover if he accustomed his body to the travel through the portal. It was another tremble of uncertainty. Yearling Brook had been an escape, a haven, at least until recently. Kieran and the family had been able to be more at ease without the pressures of the barony on them. Though, if she were fully honest, Kieran's visits had been few and far between. Still, it had been her place before and shared with friends and people close to her. It was the one place she could still reach back into the past and let herself be Sylvia.

The gates were fresh, though construction on the walls was still continuing further on. One gate was swung open wide in welcoming Sylvia's return along with the guests. A wagon of provisions followed behind and rattled its way through the gravel until it reached before the manor house. A young boy, unfamiliar to Sylvia, came to claim her horse beating out one of the guards to the task. "Good afternoon."

Her greeting froze the boy in place. A push to his shoulder from the quartermaster. "Speak up, lad. Her Excellency gave you greeting."

"Sylvia," she corrected with a gentle smile that she turned back to the boy. "I know you are going to take very good care of my horse, but I should make proper introductions or he wont' behave himself for you."

"Garrett." The boy offered.

"Garrett, this is Jalin. Jalin, this is Garrett." A violet eyed wink. "Have a good day, Garrett."

Stammering out, "Y-yes, my lady." He pulled the gelding along after him towards the stables.

"We will be having a full quarter with all the horses, my lady." Daffyd nodded towards the others. "What shall I do with them all?"

Llew came up beside her, his own mount being tended. "Perhaps we should add to your stable while we are here, since our arrival has put it to its limits."

"No, I think Yearling Brook has grown enough. We will manage with an arrangement with one of the city's liveries in the northern area. It may be a bit of a walk, but they will be well tended. Now, I should see Beata to her nap. Once that is done, I am sure my sons and I would be glad to give you a tour of the grounds."

"I look forward to it," he bowed to her as she swept by him.

Gwen met her at the door with Beata in hand, and Sylvia whispered to her in passing, "Let me see how long I can take getting little Bea to sleep."

The servant girl had the sense to try and hide her giggle until the door was closed and the small main manor house, was private to the Yransea family once more.

Hudson had departed. Sylvia had watched until her mind could no longer even trick her eyes into believing she could see him still. Nausea flooded her stomach, and she felt as she had upon her first long sea voyage. A strong urge to walk finally set her legs in motion, and she turned for that space in the forest just along the edge of the land of Yearling Brook.

The children were playing with Gwen in the orchard, and Sylvia paused to share Hudson's farewells and that he had said he would visit in two or three days to see them again. Aidan, while disappointed, was quick to return to the game, but Cian, sensitive and understanding, knew his mother was not well. "Mum?" His arms went about her in a hug. "Everything is going to be okay, mum."

His sweet tempered affection brought her to her knees before him. She kissed his cheek and smiled, seeing once again Kieran in his face. "Thank you, my little man. Mum just needs to take a walk to her thinking spot. I will be home soon." She kissed his cheek again and continued on to that spot.

Light speckled the lush decaying carpet of leaves on the forest floor. The evidence of winter past still brittle beneath her feet while new buds grew overhead. The evergreens looked a little dull beside the vibrant blush of new growth. Sylvia walked the little path she trod, no more than seven paces long, and let her thoughts tumble out of her mouth.

"I wished him home. I wished him safe and that he would return to me. Now the wish fulfilled and what do I do? I turn him away? I walk the grounds with a man I barely know and consider to be joined with him?" Even she felt a little mad upon reflection of her recent actions. "Well what were you to do? Pour disdain upon an honorable man such a Llew to pour out your heart to Hudson?"

She kicked at a twig and sat roughly on a fallen trunk. "Hudson would be better off if he loved another." A bird twittered from a branch above her, startling her with its bright song. "Well, hello there. Obviously I do not startle you as much as you startle me, brave little bird."

With a spring from the branch, the bird flew out of sight. "I spoke too soon." Elbows upon her knees and chin in hands, she sat in silent brooding. "My son or mo trillsean*."

For a second time she was startled by the little bird that came to hop across her tree trunk seat. Such a familiarity could only mean one thing, and a soft smile touched upon Sylvia's lips. "You must be a friend of Sid's. No, no message to send. This decision is mine alone. I don't think I would even burden your little heart with it."

The bird's head cocked one way and then another, keeping her in sight of its black beady eyes. "Well, if you are determined to listen to my rambling, so be it." She sat up straight and nodded. "Right then, time to put this foolishness aside, wrap up the heart a moment, and think."

This put her to pacing again and the bird hopped up and down the tree trunk with her. "Ewan did say that we could manage without the alliance. I know it would be more difficult, but what of Aidan?" Her mouth set in a scowl. "As much as he enjoyed the time at Llew's, I could see he missed his brother, and what if I did bear another child? He would be set aside once more, perhaps even harshly." She glanced at the bird and snickered. "I think we all know I have no problem with fertility."

If she did not know better, she would have thought the bird nodded. Whether it did or not, it still brought out an unexpected laugh like a ray of sun through dark clouds. "Dey would have told me to hell with alliances and follow my heart. At least, I think she would have. I could use her council, her and her husband, Fayalki's."

There were so many thoughts they tripped over one another and she could barely grasp one to let it form fully. "Hudson said he thought it might come. Had he hoped it would?" The bird chirped a rather harsh tone. "Yes, I know, I am putting words in his mouth now. What would I feel if I saw him with someone else? Would I be happy for him? I would like to think I would. I want him happy. Perhaps I fear I will not make him happy. That even if I make this choice, some weeks or months time he and I will part." With a grunt of frustration, she flung her head back to look at the sky. "Everything is risk!" Her shout echoed, the bird flapped its wings and took to the sky with a mimicking cry.

"Everything is risk," she whispered, torn between laughing and crying and so she did both, and her mind was decided.

*mo trillsean = my light / lantern. Edited to add that note.