Topic: Is there a road to follow...

SylviaNightshade

Date: 2008-12-11 17:44 EST
Is there a way I can find you, is there a sign I should know,
is there a road I could follow to bring you back home?
-If I Could Be Where You Are, Enya

Snow fell steadily along her cloak covered shoulders and set white into the raven darkness of her hair left free of the hood. Though the streets and rooftops showed the blanket of the season, the harbor was free moving, barren of blocks. The currents of the wide ocean kept the harbor open all the year. In and out the ships sailed, but none held Sylvia's interest.

Violet eyes were on the farthest horizon, focusing on a point unseen and only impressed upon her imagination. "How much must I repeat?" She whispered too soft for the guard standing resolute two paces behind her where she stood at the end of the pier. The words were not for him. They were cast to the air and the ocean. "Is there a curse upon me I must bear?"

There was no one to confide in of the loss. Hudson and she had concealed much of their friendship from those of Yransea. With those that knew or guessed she could not share. She could reveal nothing of what she felt, and tomorrow she would be pulled away from even the sea. The lamp amulet at her neck was cold in its exposure to the elements at the crux of the cloak ties. Still, she felt a light there. Memory, she believed, and dare not risk to hope.

Memories that twisted and twined with memories of her husband into a mix of remorse and regret that jolted her awake in the dark hours of night. The still slumber of her sleeping children the only cure to the unrest of her until she felt hollowed out of all carrying except for their welfare and that of the kingdom she served.

"My lady," the guard cleared his throat as a backwards way of begging pardon for intrusion into her thoughts.

"Yes, it is time to go. Tomorrow will come sooner than I would wish." She stepped back twice, drawing away from the sea like a great queen on whom you dare not turn your back lest you draw her wrath. Two more steps and she turned away, facing the last rays of sun over the trees and rooftops that warmed her face and blinded her eyes to cast them down to her feet.

SylviaNightshade

Date: 2008-12-14 13:28 EST
Where are you this moment? Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always a heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you, I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,but time keeps us apart
-If I could be where you are, Enya

Her fingers traced light over the lamp amulet at her neck. She was not sure why she still wore it. Perhaps there was hope, or the hope of hope, that she clung to as she stared out the window to the walls of the castle and the peaks of rooftops smoking their hazy way through a cold day.

Sylvia had not ventured from her room since her arrival. There was no where to go and no one to visit for the moment. The dinner that night would reveal who all had been called to the castle -- who by Maelgwn, as she had been, and who by King Rhodri or his council. She was a small bobbin floating on the current of a fast moving mountain stream. Rocks were ahead of her, the white foam warning of it all around, but there was no escape. There was only relying on her instincts to help her survive, pass through the rapids, and come out on the other side.

Had Hudson also passed through his rough waters? Was he somewhere alone? Had he been found already and rejoined with his family? Would distance and time do what she had not the courage to do before?

A swift scowl, ridicule upon her own thoughts, she brandished the sword of defiance against her self and turned from the window. She was kept from doing anything but face what lay before her. Hope of hope flickered low and drifted back as she turned to prepare for the first night of the viciously swirling waters of state.

SylviaNightshade

Date: 2009-01-02 11:37 EST
Winter lies before me now you're so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming the light of you will stay.
-If I could be where you are, Enya

Sylvia stood on the docks of Rhydin harbor. The imperfect horizon between winter grey-blue skies and a dark restless sea held her gaze. Her home had been stirred from its winter slumber, steady in its routine, into a small fortress with its barbican now complete. It was meant to be a home, her home, and then a barracks, and now the last bastion.

The harsh waves rose and fell like marching spear heads, and Sylvia felt the chill strong against her neck as it tossed her hair up and into her eyes. Gloved fingers drew the black length back and tucked it down under the edge of her cloak, its hood drawn down.

She stood there alone, guards busy with plans for an attack that may or may not ever come, and she had escaped to look to the sea. There was another battle that waited her there. It was a battle for hope against the foe of practicality. From one foot to another, she rocked with the rushing sound of lapping water against the pier supports beneath her.

In the return of brave boats still hoping for a catch from the sea, Sylvia knew it was time to turn away. There was nothing she could do for Hudson where he was. Alive or dead, his fate was out of her hands, and she sent a wish upon the sea that it might carry the hopes of his safe return to either his family here or his family beyond.

She walked away from the docks and on to the livery, gloved fingers tapping at her throat where the lamp amulet lay warm and close to her skin beneath the shirt and cloak. There was time still to return home and prepare for Hogmanay. Still time to share one more tradition with a friend.

SylviaNightshade

Date: 2009-02-26 17:24 EST
If I could be close beside you, If I could be where you are,
If I could reach out and touch you, And bring you back home.
Is there a way I can find you? Is there a sign I should know?
Is there a road I could follow, to bring you back home?
To me...
-"If I Could Be Where You Are", Enya, lyrics by Roma Ryan

The view from the hunting cabin looked down across the valley and the lake at its center. Sylvia, Aidan, and Beata had stayed with the company of Llew and two other guards in the large log constructed building for a week. It had been built for the shelter of large hunting parties, so their small group had not felt pressed together. Even so, Llew had rarely left Sylvia's side, and she escaped each night after dining to look at the view.

It was there she unwrapped her heart and left it exposed to the abuse of her thoughts: dreams stillborn, wishes barren and dusty, and hopes flickering faint as stars on a snow night. She wondered if the letters she had written had made their way to her son, and those with the longer distance to her heart brother, Lucky, and Sianna. Simple notes, they had been, hoping they were both well, asking of their days, and sharing little of hers other than that she was in the north country and messages were slow in their exchange because of it.

Twilight slipped into darkness so rich and deep on the mountain she felt as if black velvet draped around the world and cocooned that spot alone from all else. That singularity as she searched the depth of the night sky, and wondered what Hudson had seen at his last. Had it been the dark of a sparkling sky or the bright of the sun? Was it a roaring surge of sea around him wrapping him in the embrace of a blue, watery love?

If she closed her eyes and let herself, she could remember what it felt like to be close to him, to feel the warmth and strength of his nearness. Her fingers uncurled from their grip on the edge of her cloak, and she could almost remember the feel of his net scared hands in hers. She wanted to close her hand around that feeling and draw it into to reality, draw him back to her.

But footsteps sounded behind her and the feeling was gone, slipped from her like wind through trees. He, like her father, Hallas, Kieran, and others, was gone from her. An empty hand went to touch the amulet at her throat, its amber lamp dark in the shelter of night.