The morning air was chill with retreating rain, leaving a thin sheen of ice caked across the empty streets. It was cold and she could feel the coming of snow even as she watched the heavy clouds crawl across the sky. Eleanor stood at the crossroads, staring down the winding road to West End with a sword canted against her hip, sheathed, and dark curls newly cut short; her expression was pensive.
"I feel like I need to just.. get up and go somewhere. Someplace other than here."
"What's so wrong with here?"
"I'm not doing any good here."
The conversation with Reap from two nights prior still rang heavy in her ears, as did nearly ever conversation she had with him. Turning on a heel, Eleanor headed further into the West End, the sounds of the Endless Rave still echoing long after dawn as she walked. She packed meagerly: if Alain DeMuer denied her, she was stealing a horse and leaving all the same. A penny for your thoughts, Reap had asked. A penny for your thoughts.
"I'm thinking about leaving and not coming back and just traveling until I die, because something about that feels right. I'm thinking about stealing a horse and just taking off to Alain's barony and dedicating my services there. ... I'm thinking about the people I've killed recently and how it bothers me that it doesn't feel wrong."
And why hadn't it felt wrong? She wasn't sure any longer. The office of SPI was only familiar to her by sight on the rare instance that she needed to speak to Alain on some matter within the Barony when she worked for him previously. He was the youngest Baron she'd ever met, and while at first skeptical, she was easy to admit when she was wrong; with Alain, she certainly was wrong. The kid, for all his age and devil-may-care attitude, had a solid head on his shoulders.
Ushering herself inside the building, her sword swung mutely against her thigh as she trailed upstairs and toward the shut door with Alain's name branded on the window. She took a moment and weighed her options one more time, the echoes of old rage rocking through her.
"He's not going to kill me. He doesn't want to kill me, Reap. He wants to torture me into giving in. ... And he'll do it through people like you. The ones I care about, who care about me."
"I see. So how about you just push me away, and anyone else that gives a shit about you, so we can all be safe and happy. I mean, as long as I can live to drink another day, who gives a shit what happens to you. Right?"
"What the fuck else do you expect me to do, Reap? What the fuck would you do in my position?"
Eleanor opened her eyes again and knocked on the door. She would close this chapter of her life, no matter which direction it chose to go in.
"I feel like I need to just.. get up and go somewhere. Someplace other than here."
"What's so wrong with here?"
"I'm not doing any good here."
The conversation with Reap from two nights prior still rang heavy in her ears, as did nearly ever conversation she had with him. Turning on a heel, Eleanor headed further into the West End, the sounds of the Endless Rave still echoing long after dawn as she walked. She packed meagerly: if Alain DeMuer denied her, she was stealing a horse and leaving all the same. A penny for your thoughts, Reap had asked. A penny for your thoughts.
"I'm thinking about leaving and not coming back and just traveling until I die, because something about that feels right. I'm thinking about stealing a horse and just taking off to Alain's barony and dedicating my services there. ... I'm thinking about the people I've killed recently and how it bothers me that it doesn't feel wrong."
And why hadn't it felt wrong? She wasn't sure any longer. The office of SPI was only familiar to her by sight on the rare instance that she needed to speak to Alain on some matter within the Barony when she worked for him previously. He was the youngest Baron she'd ever met, and while at first skeptical, she was easy to admit when she was wrong; with Alain, she certainly was wrong. The kid, for all his age and devil-may-care attitude, had a solid head on his shoulders.
Ushering herself inside the building, her sword swung mutely against her thigh as she trailed upstairs and toward the shut door with Alain's name branded on the window. She took a moment and weighed her options one more time, the echoes of old rage rocking through her.
"He's not going to kill me. He doesn't want to kill me, Reap. He wants to torture me into giving in. ... And he'll do it through people like you. The ones I care about, who care about me."
"I see. So how about you just push me away, and anyone else that gives a shit about you, so we can all be safe and happy. I mean, as long as I can live to drink another day, who gives a shit what happens to you. Right?"
"What the fuck else do you expect me to do, Reap? What the fuck would you do in my position?"
Eleanor opened her eyes again and knocked on the door. She would close this chapter of her life, no matter which direction it chose to go in.