Gentle Lies, Understated Truths, Final
Ezra requested a minute. A minute for a year. Shae swallowed and looked at the empty mug past the curve of his arm before she followed the limb back up to the face of her looming neighbor. "Where?" The yes was implied.
Silence was often louder than drum beats, even the war harboring ones that seemed to coincide with his pulse. His chin redirected itself to gesture towards the booths on the far wall, a place that was still present in the public yet further from involving her friends. They may be concerned, supportive souls but Ezra was in no mood to knit them into the web that Shae had spun for herself. Her reflection could be caught in the burnt umber of his eyes until he looked directly at the booths. That hand a top the bar left no fingerprints, no smudging, when he lifted off to motion for the aero sylph to lead the way. Opposite hand had snuck into his denim pocket, fooling with the brittle feel of paper.
Desperately, Shae wished she had something to hand to drink, but the pressure of his presence bent her steps towards the booths without detour. She kept him in her peripheral as she moved, half convince he was some phantom that would disappear the moment she took her eyes off him completely. The riot of her response to his appearance was a beast she struggled to put behind an impassive face. Damp palms skirted against jean covered thighs before she settled onto a bench at the farthest booth.
They could all watch, voyeurs from the sidelines, but what they got was the canvas of his back where he filled in the rest with his presence, his body, keeping Shae captive between his image and the booth. And that is where he stood for a moment that felt too long, fingering at the paper in his pocket and skinning his thoughts for the pulp of words he wanted to use. He was no phantom; his aura was almost tangible and relentless. As if he had seen the first sunrise and would be the one to witness the last sunset. Finally he relented and placed the letter a top the table. Ezra didn't explain what it was. She was soul mates with the calligraphy written words as it was from her own hand. He eased to sit down across from her, hands firmly placed a top the table that separated the mountain from the wind. And he was quiet, allowing her to find her own bearings during this exchange.
It's rare for Cris to see Shae as the size that she truly is. She isn't the smallest woman he's known in his life, but in contrast to the looming shape following in her wake, she may as well be a speck. His gaze thins, he makes no motion to hide the turn of his head. Reaches only to ash the handrolled in the tray he'd tugged over. In the shadow behind his elbow, he picks at a crag of stiff, healing skin next to his thumbnail.
That letter. She'd almost forgotten about it, but laid there in front of her it was an undeniable, damning testimony. Shae didn't touch it, she just looked at it. She knew what it said, she'd written enough drafts of it to have it memorized. He seemed to be expecting her to break ground first, to dig a hole at his foothills and bury herself in it. One hand rakes through her hair with an almost violent expression of helplessness. Those words had been the first volley. The first confession. Immovable as the mountain he was often likened to, she bent in the face of his composure. "How long have you been in town?"
"Few days," he assures her, answers her, is respectful enough not to play the silent treatment game even if his eyes are interrogating past the colored harped strings of her own. Stalwart, an immovable beast who has taken residence in a mirage of manskin. She knows a sliver of what lurks beyond the nerves, tendons, sinew, all the things that make up a mortal which are there just to keep the masses from glimpsing the truth. And in this close of space to him she can be reminded of all the scents of the world he carries on him like a voyagers cologne. His hand moves forward and nudge the letter at her. Explain yourself, is what this motion encourages.
His eyes close. Cris peels from his lean and turns his back on the side of the room lined with booths. Handrolled tucked into his frown, he takes what's left of his tea to the sink to empty it out.
"Cris?" Senka?s voice was quiet. "Who dat mans is?"
"His name is Ezra," repeating what Shae had exhaled, what he himself had read, multiple times, during the first of a two and a half day descent into visceral panic and a suffusing sense of destitution. "And, they have a matter of import to discuss." He rinses the cup and sets it aside on the counter near the sink, turns to face Senka instead, "Beyond that, I do not know him." Well aware the brief conversation with Seph is left in tatters, he can't think of anything to venture after her answer. His next drag finishes the cigarette. He thought he'd had another few left.
"I's didn't know Shae v'was into importin' an' esportin' sings. It looks serious bizness." Something was likely lost in translation. "Yous look so, mmm, tense. Is she not to be left alone wis dis mans?"
Seph would not hold him to the conversation if he wanted out. Likewise, she'd not keep anything from him if asked, but if she were to say anything at all right now, it would be to agree with Senka. Not just Crispin, but everything in general seemed tense.
"Importance," he corrects, hoping it will take care of the gap in meaning. He stubs out the cooling filter in the tray, rubs an itch to death on his jaw. His gaze rises, he does not let linger on the occupied booth. "Don't I always?" slight smile. It feels like an eggshell. He curls his chilly fingers into his palm. "She is not to be underestimated. She'll be fine."
It would take her a minute but Senka would finally understand. "No, yous don' alv'ways." She frowned at him. One glance over her shoulder towards the booth and then she was looking back to Cris. "Yous v'want to v'walk? Or maybe go to de place v'where yous say dere is fightin'? Yous could ponsh sumsing?"
"No," exhaled, playing at resilience. Halfway across the room, for reasons worlds apart, there's a mirror of indifference. "No, thank you. I'm fine, as well." He has the grace to appear appreciative by her offer, with the depth of his nod and the negligent way his hip touches the bar and he gives it his weight. He crosses his arms.
"Yeah." She slid from the barstool and tucked the inky strands of hair behind her ears. Concern was etched into her expression but she didn't voice it. She collected her sketchbook and held it to her chest. "Have good night." She backed away from the bar and then turned her back to it. The walking sweater headed for the door.
Blinking, Cris looks back to find Senka withdrawing. A thin seam starts to cinch his brows together as he watches the chain of his only anchor slide silently off, into the dark. "Good night, Senka."
Senka paused at the door, her look would be familiar. The same she often gave him with her chin pressed to her shoulder and her big eyes staring at him from over. Tonight the stare was heavier, the darkness of her hair making her eyes so vibrant and the concern making them look so intense. Soon her body fell in-line with the way her head had turned and she was facing the bar again but her back was to the door. The word, please was on her lips but she couldn't find her voice. The door opened as she leaned back into it and the porch swallowed her up as she turned into and out.
The sigh Shae heaves is a weary one. She'd invited this upon herself, confessing beforehand. Premeditated disaster. "I researched. For the better part of a year." A year and some months. It had been more than a year, she suddenly recalled, since she'd last seen him, truly seen him and not just a shade. "I know. I know you wanted me to wait. I know. But it was right there." Her voice got quieter. "He fooled me, Ezra. He did." The man probably had no idea who 'he' was, but some part of her felt like he could read it from just the tectonic weight of his eyes, the way they demanded answers. "I never expected someone alive to answer, and he fooled me."
It's there, just at the tip of his tongue and the cusp of his mouth but it's all being kept on lockdown behind his lips. Impassive might have been a term to use for his expression but it ripples for a second into confusion, curiosity, immediately replacing it with a curl of his brows into a frown that makes his features that much more intense. "Who?" A guardian to the core; his marrow was made of a hunters pedigree, a bestial leash that kept him as a great and semi-forgotten entity. The letter finds itself being wrinkled between the thick of his fingers. He's still upset; he speaks low to keep his timbre from shuddering the establishment. "You had no right, Shae. You had no right to go against what I told you, what I wanted for you with that gift. You could have --", but he grit his teeth to consume what wanted to be spoken. Wasted temperament that he ravenously devoured; it wasn't a place or time to make her taste his contempt. "I would have come back. I did come back. I would have been there with you. There was a trust there, Shae."
"The...the Trickster." No, she didn't know his real name. She only knew the way he slipped faces on. The way he plucked them from her dreams and turned them into a waking nightmare. And then came the part she had expected. The disquieted earth that threatened to open up and swallow her along with her guilt and recrimination. She found some measure of her spine. "I didn't know if you would come back. Not after--" Constance. "I know. I should have waited. But the promise of 'next week' turned into months. And I've seen this place eat people, Ezra. Even ones as permanent as you. I wanted to know. I needed to know before it ate me. You gave me a shred of hope and I would have chased it with you as my anchor but I've chased it for a century and yes, I was a fool. And yes, I should have waited longer. I couldn't. You weren't there...when I lost control again, you weren't." Emotion seeped into her voice and it was a bitter flavor of self hatred. "No one died but stars, Ezra, they could have. It was only a matter of time before this place consumed me or I destroyed another person who dared to be close to a monster." Her voice had grown in strength without her realizing it and just like that, it dropped off again. "I needed control. I had hope. I was wrong. I found pain instead."
Hard to navigate the hurricane when it was cooped up in the brittle seeming glass house sat across from him. She spoke with rich emotion, the wavering cinching of her vocalizing things he had missed. Guilt was there to gnaw a long his insides, a splash of empathy that took over the clockwork of his features, the pinch of salted frustration to not being present. He left the letter to be a reminder of her own faults, and his, to rub the rough skin of his palm across his brow. "You didn't have a guide, Shae. There was no one there to help you see, to know what was truth and what was lies. You could have been killed, you could have gotten lost." Ezra has had enough with attempting to make her understand more than she already did. Her pain was flavored with a sweetened sourness and he could taste it as if he was breathing it off her lips. "You're not a monster," quietly confessing to her even as his attention slanted to browse the slim collection of faces still at the bar, primarily the glyph skinned man that he knew mostly by name and not much else.
A rumpled hoodie and the otherwise disheveled shape of his hair and three days' stubble does not chip away at the stalwart and compact picture Cris cuts at the corner of the bar, near its break. His arms locked, jaw tight, the compression of his mouth could have been cut from stone for its hue and cast. His gaze pans from Senka at the door, to the booth, catching the tail end of Ezra's sideline perusal. Defiantly, he does not allow his own focus to waver.
"I was lost." Shae breathed that understatement like it couldn't go farther than the booth, though she hadn't had the presence of mind to close off the air around them. Not with the way he hypnotized her. Lost, but not in the way he meant. "And I know it's my fault." She didn't implore him for understanding or forgiveness, she just confessed. Just the reasons she had told herself and the open acceptance that she had delivered herself to hell with a dress of herb paste and naive hope to be whole. "I'm...I'm cleaning it up." Another confession. "I had help. They bargained for my release."
"Release?" This single word skins the rest of his thoughts alive. Leaves it as road kill for later ideas to pick up because he is utterly bewildered; this is what makes his attention snap away from Cris though had she not beckoned him with that admission than the two could have stared for hours, unwilling to be the one to back down. Ezra's features express his emotions well. "What do you mean release?"
Ezra?s gaze returned to her face and once more Shae felt pinned to the bench. She forces herself to lean forward. Forces her hands to find each other and lace together on the surface of the table. Allowing the polished wood to hold her up even though the answer to that question was one that threatened to take all the composure that she'd managed to scrape together out at the knees. Her lips moved but the sound was only for Ezra's ears. "The Trickster that came, he pretended to be family. And he used that to imprison me. He was working with some people that followed me here from my world. He put me in star iron." The answer was short. Shorter than it deserved and longer than she had the strength for, but he had asked and she wouldn't deny him.
Cris can feel it snap, even from that distance, the breadth of a tree's fat bough finally cracking under strain. Released from their contest, for Ezra still has a conversation to participate in, he shoots a dark look aside to Seph who had chosen that moment to make a playful joke of his name. In contrast, the cheerful twitter of two birds sounds from his pocket. Sucking his teeth, he withdraws his phone with equal parts gratitude and irritation. He wishes there had been more. To read, and to respond, because he looks up too fast. His other hand smears the crease of his lower lip flat. He aims his scowl with renewed fervency at the dark screen in his hand.
"He may be a little stale." Cianan admitted to Seph, and glanced over to Cris as well, he was keeping his eyes on Shae, and checking in on her. "She had a little.. problem" A soft sigh rocking through him, down play, and mitigate. "We're working on all of the the threads that need to be cleaned up."
It was the time of day that usually heralded the arrival of the imp and with the soft jingle of bells, Fae could be seen heading towards the porch. Each graceful step caused the drift of silk to swirl around her in a rainbow cloud of colours. Wild flowers peeked between the messy curls that fell haphazard down her spine. Bare feet making swift time towards the steps. Dancing up them and hip bumping the door open. Soon as she was inside. A lift to tip toes to be able to give the room the once over to see who was where and be perfectly nosy too. No shame in in that.
"Mm." Canan didn't even have to look, when he heard those jingling bells, "I smell a horrible, wilted carrot." He sighed, over dramatically, and took a bite from his burrito. Tensions in him, seemed to lift a bit. He took brief solace in conversation with his sister.
Cris does not answer the final message that appears at his silent wish. Quiets his phone instead, and tucks it back into his gear. Gaze studious under the overhang of his brow, determined to keep it where it is, despite what he sees. Pull the tangible from behind all the incensed fabrication. His shoulders pull in. He feels warmer than he expects to, as he watches.
It's the lack of a response through his body language that is much more powerful than anything else Ezra could conjure. Her words twist at all the dark parts that he has worked eons to keep balanced, to keep from consuming. It's all in his eyes, the display of a warped tension that edges his pupils to pin points. The imagery is possibly worse than what Shae vaguely describes but is enough to throttle at the savagery in his ancestry. For more than a moment he just stared at the sylph before him, at the glisten of electric light beneath her skin, the iconic shape of her jawline and the pulp of her mouth. Every detail was absorbed before being mutated in his skull; he saw her restrained, heard the quiet chorus of her panic, and tasted the kerosene of any fear. Ezra tilted his chin up to realign his sights on her collar bones, on her shoulders, the horizon of her bonework that wasn't her eyes. "Is he still here?"
"I don't know. He shouldn't be. It was my release for his safe passage and his promise not to return, but..." She licked her lips and continued with eyes that skirted the edges of his face. "He was Fae and the bargain was a hasty one. There may have been a hole for him to dwell in." Her eyes turn north, a beeline for a roof nearby stained with a fresh coat of red paint that was no doubt curing in the sun of the past week. "It's the ones that are left that I'm trying to focus on."
You've been gone long, a realization that makes his eyes twitch beneath a flicker of lids. Ezra has no right to investigate and become a piece in this ever intricate puzzle. There, at the edge of his mouth, cuts a thin line that borders on a sneer; she doesn't make him sneer but the situation spills venom between his teeth. I should have been here. "If you need help --", he allows that to uproot from the field of his tongue. Leaving it to hang there like a thread she can take or deny.
?Do you have claws now?? At the bar, Fae had pointed to the bandages on Cianan?s hands. ?Or get greedy and try to eat cake straight from the oven??
That seemed to go with his original story, "Cake, straight out of the oven." Cianan nodded his head, "Couldn't wait. You know me with sweet things. I had to gobble it up before you caught wind of it and broke in." Fae managed to have him chuckling again, even if he did glance back over to Shae, and give her a warm smile, a bit of concern still there for her.
Agreeing with her seemed the wrong thing to do. Now she was doubly suspicious. Brow crinkled up a little, head slanted to the side. The curtain of raven fell to cover the one side of her face, casting her in shadow. Which made the next statement rather eerier that it might have been. ?That is good, because if it was something else. Like somebody hurt you. I'd have to do something nasty.? And as quick as that, hair was flicked back and the smile was bright and sweet again.
Her inhale was jagged and tasted like metal. The expression on his face gripped her ribs hard enough that she could feel her pulse in her spine. She swallowed hard when he spoke and cut himself off. It sounded like 'If you need help, go **** yourself.' for the venom that wanted to escape, but she chose to believe otherwise. Voices in the Inn, a casual lie overheard for the...third?... time that night. It's the lie that decides her. "If the Fae resurfaces...there are answers I don't have. His Court, what they want."
That letter was the catalyst to everything. His return had only been a handful of nights ago where the moon guided him back to the known avenues of this strange place, where angels and monsters were all accepted but even he was a bizarre creature here. Shae knew, few others did. But, again, it's the letter that makes him lumber here, has him angered and impatient and guilty. The reason for how he looks at her with a variety of different emotions playing hide and seek along the umber woodland of his eyes. And it's the letter that he leaves there a top the table, like the memento of her handwriting is not gorgeous enough to have him keep the confession of her own fault but one he undoubtedly led her to make with his absence. Ezra stands and his shadow stretches. "I'll be around if you need anything." Which could range between uncaring and too protective; he offered himself without pressuring. There was still a thin veil of disappointment a long his shoulders. Ezra watched her when he stood there, unknowingly looming with his height and build; there were other things he wanted to say, the romanticism of unspoken admissions, the spritely back and forth of intellectual teasing, but none of it seemed important, or even necessary, after he had read that damnable letter. He couldn't bring himself to recite anything else so turned to begin a formidable stride to the door.
Cris? head lifts a fraction, breaking the contact of thumb and lower lip. He smears that callus over the scars on his knuckles instead, narrowing his eyes as half the conversation he'd been watching breaks itself off and stands. Ezra seems to dwarf anything he stands beside. In his wake, the booth, Shae, return to normalcy.
Her fingers were a white knuckle braid that loosened long enough to draw that crumpled letter closer to herself. Shae had promised she would take it back to give him the opportunity to express his disappointment, and she had kept that word. Her hands fold over the broken wax seal and the parchment dents where her fingers dig into it. She didn't shy away from his parting look. Frail though her armor had become, she exchanged a look with him that was deep like the night sky, full of all the corner of the eye haunts and hollow spaces. The partitioned stars blocked by walls she built as slapdash defense. Things to say, but it wasn't the time or the place. Gold eyes followed his retreat and she, in spite of herself, still tried to commit the details to memory. To correct the little things that had slipped by. Her lips part and she bites them to the point of pain. "Thank you." The words she let escape during that brief parting chase him through the door before she can lose her nerve. And then he was gone. She wasn't sure how long she sat there. A few seconds, a few minutes. She stuffed the letter into her pocket and dipped her face into her hands with elbows on the table.
Cianan paused, and tilted his head to the side, looking over at Shae, his eyebrows raised still, and he was quiet, smoothing his bandaged hand across his cheek, he stared for a bit. This wasn't one of those ones, where he could immediately shake it off, and move along.
Head dipped as Fae looked at her brother. Voice dropped. ?Oh my gods. Just go over and see if she is ok already..? Fae was not empathic in any shape or form or at least she never claimed such a ability. Still it was kinda easy to read the situation. Even if it looked like she paid no attention. She did.
"Excuse me, Fae." Cianan mumbled, and was heading out from behind the bar, heading towards the Booth and Shae, food left behind
Ha! Was so right.
Little lines of tension ball and leap from jaw to temple. Cris sucks his teeth and breaks the stone of his stance for the last, well, it seems like forever, now. Pieces of that marble determination crack, crumble, and fall. His gaze follows Cianan, his own motions slowed as if through water.
A touch to Shae's shoulder, gentle, he didn't know. Cianan was unsure of what was going on, but he wasn't going to say anything just yet. His eyebrows drawn in, and a slight tightness in his jaw. Bandaged hands didn't seem to mind the pressure when it came in contact with her.
Cris can guess which abandoned vessel belonged to Shae, but he feels better with the acquisition of a clean lowball glass. The bottle of Bulleit stands like a faithful sentry, apart from the others. He chokes it at the neck, twists the cap free, and glugs what amounts to a couple shots worth into the waiting well. He replaces the bottle on its shelf and takes the glass with him out from behind the bar.
Shae stiffened at the touch, the sound of bandage against leather. With effort, she forced herself to lower her hands. The curve of her teeth had left an imprint on her lip, but it had been released. When she raised her head to look at the Drow, her expression was exhausted. She doesn't have words for him at the moment.
"Need to go to Church House?" Cianan offered, she wasn't talking, he could talk instead, his grip on her shoulder tightening a bit "I can.. call you a cab, or something?" He, didn't know. There was confusion on his face. He glanced over to Cris, not sure why, he doubted it would help.
The tawny liquor within catches each light as Cris moves beneath them. The trek across the room is too long, and too short, all at once. Cianan does not need to look long. There is no pretense to keep up. They'd both been watching. Wordlessly, he sets the glass down on the table before Shae.
That glass was a lifeline and there was naked gratitude for its presence. Her hand curled around it and drew it in with a scrape. There was nothing to savor, her tongue was ash. She drank in silence that drained the glass. "I need to go for a walk." She said at last with a voice hoarse with repressed words and the burn of whiskey.
"Alright." Cianan moved, and stepped back, letting her free from the booth.
Cris isn't in a position to block her exit, but he does not withdraw like Cianan does.
It takes her longer than it should, but she gets up. Just to stand. Just to look towards the exits and remember which one pointed away from North.
Cris latches, mentally, to what had spurred their collective presence at the Red Dragon in the first place. Presses on before he can, just as swiftly, talk himself out of it. "I'll come," offer, request, all in one.
His tongue ring clicked over the back of the enamel, and he glanced over to Cris, and then back over to Shae. He'd at least, see them out.
Shae nods. It's an acceptance of that offer. Pauses to place a kiss on Cianan's cheek, and then turns for the door.
Cianan took the kiss on the cheek, and smiled as warm as he could muster for Shae. There was a tingle in his skin, a small wrinkle on his nose. He wasn't going to chase afterwards, sometimes time and space were needed. He took a slow breath himself, holding it for a ten count, before exhaling out his nose. He turned to head upstairs.
Quietly, Cris watches the exchange, as tightly coiled in repression as he's been the last hour. He offers Cianan a nod, withdraws a single step, and turns to follow a pace behind, and to the right of Shae's back. He puts a bit more urgency into his stride when he angles around Shae to make it there first and press outside into the welcoming dark with the outside of his fist. The door doesn't swing shut.
Out into the air, hands in the pockets of her jeans so she doesn't have to feel the crinkle of paper. Shae didn?t have a goal in mind beyond south and west. Away.