Five Years Ago
The burning scent of freezing air was one of the few that could still make it through the broken swath of scar tissue across Saffron's nose. The snow that had fallen reached past her knees, with a perimeter of a few inches maintained by her body heat. She wore only gym shorts, a black tank top with the Spirit Tree Martial Arts Academy logo on the back and over her heart, and a sports bra, her entire wardrobe for the month-long trek into the unorganized areas of Canada. She had been standing in that spot for twelve hours, from the beginning of the blizzard that send the stinging barrage of cold to splatter and melt on pale skin, to draw out every extraneous joule of energy. Ice formed around the edge of the twin plaits that hung over her shoulders, hung in little spines acround the lobes of ears turned hot pink from exposure. formed a layer around the flare of her wide, upturned nose and bit at the edges of her eyes, finally forced into closing after eight hours of slow blinks.
In the wind around her, she could hear the snow crunch as one of the other applicants passed out. Soft, swishing steps brushed the still-dusty layers of frost away from the senior disciples as they dragged the applicant to safety. A gravelling, weak croak fell out of his mouth like a spilled cup of coffee, the embarrassment, the loss of failure and the enormity of his folly heavy upon him. "'msowreemom..."
The words triggered a series of memories behind Saffron's eyes, distractions that opened her up to the violent, hungry teeth of the falling snow. She had told her mother that she was entering an intensive study program, that she would be holing up for a month. She'd probably received her expulsion letter, and called only to find her phone shut off. Her room was emptied, her bank account cleared out. She disappeared, just like her father. She was following him into Hell, and once again her mother suffered for her family's selfishness.
Her resolve became something different; she would suffer. She would keep standing to let the wind eat her, to let the ice and snow feast on her heat, to let herself feel every ounce of screaming ache in her tendons and the fire beneath her frostbitten skin. It was a coward's way of atonement. She hadn't a chance of finding Sandy and letting the girl cripple her. She couldn't find her father to face his hollowed-out, plastic smile and care for him in the way he needed after the accident. She couldn't run back to home and undo the damage to her academic career, to the trust that her mother put in her. She left herself one option; stay alive to feel herself crushed under the tortures of the environment.
The burning scent of freezing air was one of the few that could still make it through the broken swath of scar tissue across Saffron's nose. The snow that had fallen reached past her knees, with a perimeter of a few inches maintained by her body heat. She wore only gym shorts, a black tank top with the Spirit Tree Martial Arts Academy logo on the back and over her heart, and a sports bra, her entire wardrobe for the month-long trek into the unorganized areas of Canada. She had been standing in that spot for twelve hours, from the beginning of the blizzard that send the stinging barrage of cold to splatter and melt on pale skin, to draw out every extraneous joule of energy. Ice formed around the edge of the twin plaits that hung over her shoulders, hung in little spines acround the lobes of ears turned hot pink from exposure. formed a layer around the flare of her wide, upturned nose and bit at the edges of her eyes, finally forced into closing after eight hours of slow blinks.
In the wind around her, she could hear the snow crunch as one of the other applicants passed out. Soft, swishing steps brushed the still-dusty layers of frost away from the senior disciples as they dragged the applicant to safety. A gravelling, weak croak fell out of his mouth like a spilled cup of coffee, the embarrassment, the loss of failure and the enormity of his folly heavy upon him. "'msowreemom..."
The words triggered a series of memories behind Saffron's eyes, distractions that opened her up to the violent, hungry teeth of the falling snow. She had told her mother that she was entering an intensive study program, that she would be holing up for a month. She'd probably received her expulsion letter, and called only to find her phone shut off. Her room was emptied, her bank account cleared out. She disappeared, just like her father. She was following him into Hell, and once again her mother suffered for her family's selfishness.
Her resolve became something different; she would suffer. She would keep standing to let the wind eat her, to let the ice and snow feast on her heat, to let herself feel every ounce of screaming ache in her tendons and the fire beneath her frostbitten skin. It was a coward's way of atonement. She hadn't a chance of finding Sandy and letting the girl cripple her. She couldn't find her father to face his hollowed-out, plastic smile and care for him in the way he needed after the accident. She couldn't run back to home and undo the damage to her academic career, to the trust that her mother put in her. She left herself one option; stay alive to feel herself crushed under the tortures of the environment.