Flickers of candlelight touched fur once white with self-righteous beliefs, now dyed charcoal gray to reflect the reality of the wearer. She worked tirelessly at the arcane work bench, nestled in a darkening corner of the alchemical laboratory. Hands that had held weapon and shield, felt blood, dirt and the ashes of many who had fallen flipped a page in a well worn tome bearing testament to centuries spells; in those hands sat a crystal amulet fashioned from the purest, deepest hued amethyst that looked like a deep violet night sky carved with a spiraled sigil wrapping around it, etching each face with a canyon now inlaid with crushed jade and opal. The crystal was firmly seated in a hollowed bead of platinum, held fast in web works of gold and strung upon a cord of silver wire spun with crimson hair and soaked in tears. Fingers stained with powerful unguents, slim and strong, familiar with working and out casting the fastest of mages worked at finishing the inlay of semiprecious stone upon the amulet. Golden eyes ringed with emerald caught the candlelight and reflected it back in myriad of sparkling golden light; tiredness seeping into the warmth they held.

The manual labor finished with the amulet, Ammy leaned back, stretched and popped her neck and rubbed the knots in her back. She felt her right arm move and flex; felt the reality under the holographic fur move and pulse with her heart as layers of microcircuits and reactive synth muscles followed her minds impulses. Her eyes lifted to the top shelf of her work bench; a crystal cube with its grizzly prize, a war trophy over the last opponent that will ever dare to cross her path. Rastul Dalan?s sightless eyes stared out into the labs deepening shadows, his mouth frozen in a timeless snarl, a death mask of utter shock and disbelief. Fastened upon the cube was a gold plaque titling the disembodied head as the Ebony Knight.

Her long stare upon dead knight?s head had brought forth thoughts long soothed to silence, now waking like a babe startled from sleep. Rubbing her chin, she closed her eyes a bit to rest them.

?You really were foolish to come after me. Oh how I wish fools like you would realize that I am no longer a prize to conquer; no more a solitary entity among the realms, easily outnumbered by hordes from the darkness. I have built a foundation to a great kingdom on the shoulders of my family, friends and allies. A kingdom yet to grow and awaken, but soon it will sleep no longer. Yet, sleep is what my kingdom will find until its queen is ready to sit upon the throne of leadership and tears. A position I am not yet ready for, not ready for at all no matter how hard I try.?

She stood and walked about her laboratory, her eyes picking out the various containers of reagents, spell components, charts, array tomes and summoning circles, all in an attempt to distract her thoughts. Rastul continued to indulge her as an ever silent listener.

?Soldiers should never seek the throne lest they feel the bite and cold touch of paranoia that haunts all veterans. A haunting that moves many to betray everyone under the guise of perceived threats, real or phantom; soldiers will run a kingdom to ground with strategies fit for an army but ruinous for citizens and merchants.? She paused a moment to look at Rastul, seeming to hear something from nothing. ?Yes, I digress in using this foil as my reason to avoid leading as I was rightfully voted into office a year ago. Mirius had lead in my cowardly absence, though many would take up arms and vigilance to protest the branding of coward upon my head. ?She was ill! She had no memories! Beset by evil and villains was our queen!?

Queen? Bah, a title that has never existed in any scrap of Lupinossai history. We all know what Kings and Queens lead to? Tyranny soon fought with rebellion, anarchy and the death of the imposed tyrants. Though what is the difference between a Grand Alpha and a King or Queen; nothing, save physical traits imbued by race and nature when a mother tires of carrying the little life in her womb. A mother that leaves three innocent children to forever be molded into the very demons many fear yet they won?t stay their hands to use us.?

She paused to gaze at the cube, a tilt of her head and she gave a soft smirk. ?You were an orphan just like I, my brother and sister were? Yet I can tell you were cast aside by racial hatred, a half breed hated among other half breeds full of piety. You were never molded into the monster you became. You ran to it, hugged it, and slept with the power that made you the Ebony Knight. What of me? You dare ask me such a question? I never wanted the power. I never wanted to find my nights haunted with the ghosts of those I?ve killed; the souls of the damned I sent kicking and screaming to oblivion by the powers my mother left me! No, no, no, you will not say I am the same as you!?

Ammy snarled at the crystal entombed head, stared into the milk white eyes of Rastul. He said not one word, just stared at her and it seemed his dead eyes were filled with mockery. She gave a long, deep sigh and moved closer to the work bench and that grizzly trophy. Ammy leaned an elbow onto the shelf and ran fingers over the edge of the transparent crystal in a slow, savoring motion.

?I could have saved you. Saved a life that had a chance of doing great things, yet you attacked me in all of your imposed importance. But I cannot change what has been done; you are dead and I live with my families and allies. One more testament to prove that Ammy gets her way; the tenacity of the psycho killer etched in a trail of broken bodies and destroyed nations. I never wished for any of this. Little happiness have I ever known until the last few years of my life. Should a ruler have a better feeling of all aspects of life? More than just a glimpse and a fleeting taste of peace in a very long life? I think a ruler should, for wouldn?t a ruler steeped in violence and pain not produce a nation that is calloused to the like? A mass of souls ready to march and kill upon the whims of someone too dead to reality; No hesitation to think upon the consequences violence will produce?

War, killing, violence, the smell of blood, death, the thrill of surviving and tearing into your enemy are all the things I have craved and dwelled upon with sage meditation. Many ways have I created to improve those cravings, turning every bit of my being, mind and soul into a weapon to kill, maim and devour. Yet, you sit her, staring at me, the last worthy foe in years that made my blood run with ice, kindled and awoke those ravenous hungers I denied myself in self imposed exile a century ago. Now I must face my people; hah, what a concept, my people that I was never born or raised into. They look for a strong leader that is neither weapon nor simpering politician. They want a weapon beaten into a plow shear that can still cut when swung by the feeble hand of democracy. How can I truly lead such sheep? The way I am, a beast of war wanting blood and pain as if they sing in my very bones a sweet lullaby; I would no sooner slaughter the whole fold than lead them like a true shepherd. Long ago I lost my humanity and with it, the ability to shield the innocence against the vileness of every realm.?

Ammy looked to the amulet that had consumed many of her nights and her eyes bore the gleam of silent tears. She reached out, took the cube, felt it weight, the weight of one more life she extinguished and pulled it off of the shelf. The cube was cradled in her left arm as if it was a pet, and she did stroke the cube in turgid thought. She brought it close to the amulet to show the work she?d been doing to eyes that cared for nothing anymore. She even whispered to the cube.

?I cannot lead them as I am. I am too broken to be a bastion of leadership and worship. But with this amulet I have a key to reclaim what was denied to me as a child. Surely knowing what it is to be innocent, simple and in bliss would be a force enough to dull the killing edge of the weapon I am; grant me insight to the sympathies many under rule would require? Truly give me a whole picture to the single puzzle piece of violence I have held in my soul for so long. Once I have explored the depths of the young, then, then I will rule like a legend to my people. A legend, I am so sorry that you have become a part; the legend of Ammy Spiritor, soldier, weapon, mass murderer of millions with magic, mother, angel and now queen of the Lupinossai. She who is afraid of nothing, not even Chaos itself has been brought low by the weakening fear of ruling others. No wait that is not the whole truth, but merely the the power that comes from holding such a position. I will finally learn respect about many things. Respect that was stripped from my mind and soul; a hunger instead to seize power like the tools I?ve been taught to regard them as. I will know peace; I will pass the blood stained title of murderer and warrior to my eldest daughter, Myrlene, a legacy of blood and death that is only fitting for a goddess of war.?

Ammy stroked the cube more and paced her laboratory with a heavy heart.

?Myrlene council to be a just and caring goddess when all she needs do is reach out and grab her domain by the throat. She presides over a domain that cares nothing about caring; just the surety of the thrust of cold steel into beating heart and warm bowel, the slash of sinew and muscle, the agonizing crush of maul and hammer to bone and skull. It is a deep and dark truth to swallow, one I am no stranger to its fetid taste; perhaps my dear Rastul that is why you failed with Chaos when given the bait of unlimited power. You failed to see the true pitfall it was. Hush, there is no need to feel ashamed for it; many mages and spell caster tread the thin line of sanity and greed for more power. Unlike you though, I pray to Canis that Myrlene finds the miracle bliss she wants, but I believe she will find that war and violence are two sides of the same coin spent in blood to purchase peace and victory. Violence possesses the very nature of every living being just as you, Rastul, preached about Chaos in every living being. Strife, violence and death are a constant in life, how I weep for Myrlene?s foolishness in taking up her mantle, but she will do well. She will not fail often, for she will fail that is given. No one is perfect, mortal or deity. Yet, she is my daughter and my violent, thirsting blood burns in her as much as the powerful, murderous blood of her father. Her greatness will eclipse the mother in the deep shadows of rising glory, a new chapter written in blood for the realm of Rhydin. What of me? What of me indeed. I will watch from those deepening shadows; a fear that many will regard should my daughter ask for help or my people wronged. The wrath of the sleeping she-wolf, the Lupinossai Queen of death and destruction should she be wakened.?

Ammy hefted the cube up to stare at Rastul for a long moment, holding those dead eyes within her sight. ?You never say much these days.?She turned and put the cube back upon the work benches shelf and returned to the task at hand.

She worked the hatchling spell Icer had shown her long ago into the amulet. Constraining spells were set deeply upon the amulet to meet what she desired. A spell for youth, a chance to live life as a child once more and retain memory of those she knew and loved but lock away the pressing memories that blot her soul dark with death and blood. A spell to lock most of her magic away but a few simple cantrips that could do little harm. A glimpse of early morning light was touching the walls about her as she neared completion. She set one more spell upon it, a keeper to allow her to return to the adult she is when she wished as well as to know when she was young that people needed her as an adult.

The last spell enchanted, the amulet infused with soul energy, she took a small journal covered in soft white leather set with a blood red paw print upon it. She began to write upon the first page:

To the youth about to hold this book, take these instructions to heart. Many memories and feelings you may pine for, wish you had to guide you through the shock of newness about you, but don?t fear, my little Ammy. You will not be alone, nor will you be harmed. You will remember many people who are kind to you, who love you and who will protect you. To them you will turn, to them you will learn, to them you will enjoy what I was never given. No, don?t try to think of who I was for it will hurt, you will feel sadness and it is too much to hope for shoulders so small to bear.

Go about your life with gladness, joy and blissful peace. Learn everything you can about life. Hold nothing back. Enjoy everything to its fullest. Get into trouble even. Write everything possible upon this journal so you may never forget them. Do know this one thing. Many people have come to depend on what we once were. They may need us again at some point and when they do need us, they will tell you a phrase. In this journal are many loose cards with the phrase upon it. Give them to those you remember and know, they will instruct them at to the purpose of the phrase. The phrase is something we both will remember no matter how many times we relive our life. The words barely remembered by our mother as she died holding us. ?Jewel of the night.?

Ammy set the book down, let the ink dry then closed it. She stood up and looked to Rastul once more. She removed the Ebony Crown and Orb from her brow and sat it next to the cube. She removed the Ebony Pendant and placed it with the crown and orb. She spoke several ancient words and the artifacts and cube disappeared to a place only she knew. The burden of guarding the items lifted for now, she took the amulet, wore it about her neck, took the journal and went to her home in Den City.

She placed the cards upon the pillows of all of her family members, and then mailed the rest to the friends and allies she knew. She was afraid that as a child the instruction may not be followed and ensured that at least her friends and loved ones would know what was coming. That done, she went out, bought a few items of clothing she would need as a child, many of the Lupinossai merchants surprised and thinking perhaps she was planning another pup. She returned home, set the things in a box along with the journal and placed it in her room she shared with her mates. Then she sat down and waited for Mirius, Fleet and Lene to come home to be with her as she said goodbye to the adult life.

Hello older me. A lot has happened the past few days I forgot to write in our book. I got to make a snow golem though Mr. Andu and Mr. Leroy tell me it's called a snow man. We got into a snow ball fight too. It was fun but too cold again.

We enjoyed warm cocoa and treats. Mr. Leroy and Mrs. Eless say that puppies and babies come from Santa Clause and that he uses magic to make his huge belly fit down chimneys. No one will tell me if the rabbits can lay multicolored eggs like the Easter Bunny can.

I think I made everyone sad asking about who my daddy is. No one would answer, but it's okay. Maybe I don't get a daddy since mommy was a machine. Maybe I don't need a daddy.

So much singing is going on too. Many people are singing, giving gifts and enjoying lots of relaxation in the Inn and even in Den City. I like looking at all of the cool lights. They are so pretty, but they do hurt my eyes some. I'm gonna ask momma for some sunglasses so lights aren't so bright. I hope you're doing well, older me.

"Hi older me. I had fun during new years eve, dancing in the snow and singing a little when no one was watching. Afraid someone may say I sound horrible. While playing in the snow, Mr. Leroy found me and offered me a piggy back ride. I climbed onto his shoulders and I think I broke him. His antlers popped right off! I don't remember much after that though."

A break in the entry was followed by cripser, more practiced hand writing.

"Hello young one. Do not worry about not remembering much that night. That was a night for adults to remember. You'll understand when you grow up. You didn't hurt Leroy. His kind shed their antlers every year. I kept his antlers in the lab for later use. I've read some of your adventures and even now I feel a bit lighter in my soul from what you have experienced. Keep up the good work pup."

Another break in the entry was followed with the usual childlike script.

"Hi older me. I must have missed you. Auntie Mirius says the same thing as you about stuff for adults to remember. Like how puppies are made or why grown ups kiss. I'm really happy to have an Auntie like Mirius. I'm a little sad though to see how tired she is when she comes home. She could use lots of hugs and maybe those kisses too.

I gotta fib a little on myself. I tried to cook because an Erthrii boy name Bucky called me a sissy for not knowing how to cook. I think I ruined one of your nice pans. I tried making grilled cheese sandwhich with peanutbutter. Lot of smoke came out and it's stuck to the pan. Mirius told me not to worry and was going to talk to Bucky's dad about not calling me a sissy, but I told her I took care of it already. I punched Bucky good and knocked out a tooth. I have it in my bedroom under a pillow. I don't know why I kept it.

Also, I scared Auntie Mirius some. Book cases aren't mountains and I shouldn't be jumping from them onto people. It looks fun when squirrels do it in the cartoons. I also got to meet another dragon in the snow outsided the home. Aunti Mirius is gonna take her to someone called Igneous. I hope the dragon stays warm."

Dear older me. Life seems a bit different than when I was 11 year old. Hard to believe 5 years in a day or two makes a lot of difference. I often think of cute guys. I've gotten used to what younger me calls lady bumps. They seem to have an effect on boys that I find quite annoying though. I still have my tail too. I was hoping it'd just fall off when I got older, like a baby tooth comes out as you get older. But no, I still have it and it is quite content to stay attached to my butt.

I've found two drinks I love. One is called a Monster Energy Drink and the other is called a Red Alert Mt. Dew. Both are sweet, tasty and I feel like I can see the whole universe when I mix the two together for great effect. This effect sort of got me into some trouble today being so hyper. I may have painted every fire hydrant I found in Rhydin and Den City hot pink with little black eyes. Some people came after me. I think they shouted something about being part of the Watch? I wonder what kind of watch they are apart of; wind up, battery or kinetic. Hmm. I'll have to ask them next time I see them. I sort of just flat out ran. Wow I can run really fast with all of this... I think Myrlene called the stuff Caffeine. She says it's what every growing teen needs. Den City's DFLEA's sort of almost caught me, but that was because I was laughing hard at what they call themselves. Honestly older me, DFLEA sounds like a treatment at a Vet Clinic or Groomer. They didn't catch me thankfully. I'm sure mom wouldn't want to bail me out of a sleep over in jail.

Besides the fire hydrants I kind of set loose a bunch of snow men from the Myrlene Youth Park. They looked bored and cold just sitting there watching a Soultrii pulling cards from his nose. So I made my hands do their wierd glowy stuff and the snow men moved! It was cool until they started coming after me. I ran, again but thankfully the ice horde kinda crumbled in the streets. Oh I kind of changed the street lights in both cities too for a little bit. They'd glitter and sparkle while dropping confetti all over the walk ways and streets. I thought it was pretty but again I had to run. Seems like no one likes fun around these cities!

Oh, and there seemed to be an odd disturbance one night when I was out just poking around. Lights in the sewers, people talking and cursing. I poked my head into the sewers and saw light vanish down the end of a tunnel. I was about to put the manhole cover back in place until I saw something slightly shiny in the storm water of the tunnel. I climbed down and grabbed the item really quick before anyone saw me. I took it to a little hiding spot I found in the city to look over the treasure. I'm not sure what it is, but it smells like gun powder, has the numbers 1911 stamped on the dull gray metal and the initials S&W on it. It feels a little heavy and had a secret drawer inside that came out and spilled little metal tubes that looked like lipstick cases. The were shaped funny and hollow on the tips.

Anyways, I have it hidden in my little hiding spot for further investigation once I can get ahold of some small tools. I just love taking things apart to see how they work. Uhm... please don't tell mom I took apart one of her small remote drones. I was going to put it back together again, but I think I lost a few parts. I also tried cooking again today when no one was home. I didn't burn a sandwhich but I did scorch some hotdogs. Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is about knowing how to cook when I can go to the market district and buy food with an allowance. Did you know how to cook older me? I get the feeling you used to know how to cook.

I have a confession to make, older me. I like the cartoon My Little Pony. I think the pony characters are cute and in depth compared to other cartoons, though I still hold out my highest love for GRR in Invaders Zim. Someone told me we own a store and teach? Older me, are we really that boring? I'd rather go on adventures and find out more about my glowing hands. Can I really do magic, like pull bunnies out of hats and stuff? I know I made pots move, snowmen walk and changed the color of items, but that just seems like kid stuff.

Well I gotta run now. If my calculations are correct and they rarely are, someones out house is about to explode from a new cherry bomb I made. This sucker is gonna be loud!

"Hello Older Me. It's been another day or two of fun. Momma had me turn the gun I found over to the DFLEA authorities so I wouldn't get in trouble. I met the commissioner and was told he was my uncle. I've been trying more outfits and figuring what rave party to go to so Miri can join me.

I think I made a new friend the other day. His name is Mister Travanix and he seems really interested in what we can do. He liked the drink I mixed him up. I think my older sister Icer wasn't very happy with him. She kept nudging me away. I wonder why?

I found out that I have a dragon form from sister. I thought I was part dragon but Icer said it's cause were heart kin and she shared her magic with me. I got to try the form today. It was so cool! Oh, I am not supposed to make any more red fizzy drink. People are concerned I may hurt myself with it. My cherry bomb is still in hiding though. Maybe I wont blow up that outhouse. I could use it for something else. See ya later!

Folded neatly and carefully placed within the journal was an article clipped from the Wednesday issue of The Den Howler news paper.

20 Teens arrested at house party: 2 Teens in ICU

At about 11:55 PM on Sunday, DFLEA officers were called to a noise disturbance in the West Housing District of Den City. Citizens around the house had reported very loud music being played after curfew followed by a series of explosions nearby.

Upon arriving at the scene, DFLEA Commissioner, Orion Wolf, who happened to be on patrol nearby found two teens on the front lawn of the noisy house. They were both drunk and heavily under the influence of drugs with one being unconscious. The girls were checked by arriving EMT's that were called. Both girls were rushed to Whisper Paws Hospital and admitted to Intensive Care for urgent detox treatment.

Both girls, who's names are being with held from the public are now at home, expecting to make a long but promising recovery. Reports from the hospital indicated the minors only having a normal blood alcohol level, and that the alcohol sped up the intake of the drugs. Peanuts and Dream Dust were found in both girls systems, as well as in the 20 teens arrested, but a frightening drug called Hot Orange, currently under investigations with connections to something called Brimstone were found in the unconscious girls system.

DFLEA is now deeply investigating the house and a ring of drug dealing teens that were squatting there. The house owner was gone to check on a business over the mountains for a month or two. Officers found several boxes of designer drugs including Hot Orange. Damages to the house were also recorded for the owner as the use of Magic Missile was the magical signature for the holes and a busted out window.

DFLEA is asking all citizens and teens to be on the look out for Hot Orange and to report the drug immediately if found. Hot Orange glows with a dull orange light and the teens caught report it tastes like oranges that have gone bad. ~Tazzy~

"Hi Older Me. Uhm, I did something you'll probably find out about as older you too. Me and Miri got, uhm, matching tattoos on our sides over the ribs. Nothing horrible I hope. We were talking and we like each other a lot as well as that man Fleety. So Lene took us to a tattoo shop that used lasers to change our skin pigments to the colors needed for the tattoo. We got three golden rings laid in a triangle with each of our names on it, a small wolf paw print in the center of the triangle and the three power orbs around the triangle. I hope you like it. Gotta run now, on a date with Jim. Oh! And it didn't hurt one bit!"