Dear wife:
I'm leaving you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been horriable. Your boss called to tell me that you
quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new hair cut, and cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
you ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want intimacy or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
your ex-husband
P.s. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than recieiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut, but the first thing that came to mind was "you look just like a girl!' Since my mother raise me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you becuase the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a concidence that my sister had just borrow $50 from me that morning.
After all if this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and brought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But wen I got home you were gone, Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fullfilling life you always wantted. My lawyer said that you won't get a dime for me. So take care.
signed,
YOur Ex-wife, RICH and FREE!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was borned Carl. I hope that is not a problem.
another funny joke