Woke up to relative peace and quiet. Quinn's fast asleep on the new mattress. I woke up and looked out at the rising sun without pain in the back of my eyes. The trickle of melting ice didn't sound like the roar of cannons. Nothing hurts. First time in days that I've felt this way, but nothing hurts.

I believe that sometimes wishes do come true. I happened every time I lost my hearing. I was wishing to not hear the things that were painful, and I didn't. But in my sleep I think a larger wish came true. One that I only voiced once in front of Quinn. He was so hurt by it that I didn't mention it again. Once spoken, though, it can't be unsaid.

I don't feel anything right now. The last few days have been wracked with a heightened sense of everything. I could see farther distances and in the dark. I could hear a branch snapping off of a tree more than a football field away when a white tail pulled too hard on the last of the leaves. I smelled things that no person should ever be subject to. But the worst part was how I felt inside of my own head. I didn't get angry, I had psychotic fits of rage. I didn't have sadness, I had the blackest depths of the ocean depression. I wasn't happy, I was ecstatic and bounding off of the walls.

It was all so overwhelming. I thought I was losing my mind, and I probably was. From the first stirring of jealousy when Sai and Quinn were touching so intimately, I should have known better. I shouldn't have bullied Quinn into giving me something that he only wanted in that moment. Prior to that he refused to even consider making me into what he is. But, in that moment, he wanted it more than anything else. And I wanted to share with him what only Sai could share.

I wished to not be like him, anymore. I don't know if it was because it's only been a week or because I was so desperately not wanting those extreme emotions and senses, but this morning I woke up feeling nothing extraordinary. That's not to say I don't feel. Quinn's beside me, Keirra's home and we gained a little buddy. These things make me happy. I'm hungry so I'm preparing a breakfast of whole grain pancakes, sausage and orange juice.

But I don't feel that overwhelming hunger. My skin is cool to the touch and I feel like the old me, once again.

I just hope that Quinn doesn't hate me for it.

Living with cold, distant Quinn was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't even know what we were doing. Why did he stay when he was so miserable? Why did I let him stay when I was so miserable? Because beyond the bond that I'd wished away, there was and is still love between us. Neither of us wanted to let that go. But in the circumstances where we were just fuming at each other in petulant silence? It was doing neither of us any good.

It came to a head in a fight where I threw a bottle and it smashed on his face. The words that we were screaming at each other were so painful, meant to cut deep. And they really did. I was frustrated and so angry. I can't believe that I threw that bottle at him. We were both such a mess. Can't be too regretful because that's when we started to communicate. I just wish I could have found a better way to get through to him than through violence.

Mark says that there's another caravan about to pull through. Quinn & I bought a house. Our dream house. I extended the invitation to Mark and the rest of the circuit to stay on the land as a respite against the other caravan, if need be. But then Mark lays into me about having Sai over so often. It's my RV and I can have whoever I want over and as often as I like. But it's Mark's camp and he's right about strangers being in camp. Even with people that you've grown to know and trust it's hard to tell who is going to turn and stab you in the back. With strangers, it has to be assumed that they will. I wasn't thinking about the circuit, I was thinking about keeping Quinn with me, and that meant letting Sai stay until things got sorted out. The alternative was Quinn & Sai holing up in a room at the Red Dragon Inn together. I just... I know I shouldn't be jealous but they were in a bed together when I found them last. They were both fully clothed but... the intimacy. It drives me absolutely out of my mind.

Anyway, had words with Mark and he ended up punching me in the face. Quinn saw my bloody nose and he hit Mark in the jaw. Mark threw me out of the camp and that was it. Quinn & I left. I dropped him and Sai off at the new house and then I took the RV to Loiuse City to get the interior fixed. I couldn't tolerate that pink another day. It was disgusting. While I was waiting on the RV I did some shopping and found the most beautiful ring. I took a picture of it and sent it to Quinn. Asked him to marry me and he said yes.

Still don't have the ring. Though Quinn surprised me with one when I got back from Loiuse City. Big, beautiful platinum band with 36 of the darkest, smokiest diamonds you ever saw. It's gorgeous and it's mine. So, we're engaged. Not married, not going to do that for a long time. There are too many other things going on to plan a wedding, but the promise is there. Forever. Quinn and I are going to be forever.

Took a trip to Rio so that Quinn, Dirk & Amare could do their pack thing. Sai was there, too. On the trip down, everyone was so on edge. I just tried to be small and quiet, not get into the way. Amare & Dirk took off into the woods the moment we landed. Quinn, Sai and myself went to the house. To look at it, with the sculptured hedges and manicured lawns, the crystal blue pool and everything about it... it's a luxury resort in and of itself. But the ghosts of Quinn's past are so thick and heavy in there that I seriously doubt I'll ever see the place again. I don't want to see it.

Quinn's past is his to tell. I do know this much: He's not the same person he was back then. He was with Dirk then and there's no way I can ever believe that the two of them shared anything as sweet and loving as what Quinn and I share now. There's just no way.

So they did their thing and just before dawn I get woken up with this dead cat smacking my face and talking in this super high pitched weird voice. Scared the piss out of me, literally. Amare thought it would be hilarious to make a hand puppet out of the puma that they'd killed. Of course, this started a huge fight. Quinn came into the room and punched Dirk in the face for laughing. Then he straddled Amare and nearly caved the man's face in. I wanted him to kill them both, but Sai stopped him. Dirk & Amare took off, not seen either since.

Got home about a week ago and things are better. Made up with Mark and he gave Quinn & I a fun little mission. Seems the McIntosh clan is coming in by the north road into Rhy'din. We're going to do a few things to detour them and if the cards are played right, they're going to run into a clan of Amazons. If anything can detour a man who has been driving for days without a woman around, it's an Amazon.

Got work to do now that this is caught up.

Levi

I'm sitting by my mother's bed. Everyone, including me, calls her Aunt Rally. As soon as I got the text that she had suffered a stroke, I dropped everything that I was doing and rushed up here. I didn't tell Mark or Quinn or anyone. I just ran. She's my mom and they'll understand. I know they will.

She's in a coma, but I can see that this is really, really bad. Her left arm is contracted up against her chest and we can't get her left leg to straighten out. The doctors say that they'll know more once she wakes up. I just hope she wakes up.

Never been so terrified in my life. They say that she could linger like this for a while, or just wake up at any moment. Nobody knows anything and there's nobody here but me to deal with it. When she signed the power of attorney and living will and her last will and testament, I was happy to take over. But I never thought the day would come.

She looks so fragile, like a little bird.

Levi

After 46 days and being transferred to two different medical facilities, Mom is finally awake. She's alert and remembers who I am, but the beginnings of atrophy and neurological deficits have left her weak as a kitten. They're going to start doing physical therapy in a few days. She still needs help eating. They did a swallow test and she didn't do that well, so she's still on the feeding tube.

I'm going to stay here to continue to help her. There are people coming and going all of the time. The Coopers, the Schmidts, Andersons... it's one caravan group after the other. They bring flowers, little gifts and good cheer. And they've all offered to let me go home to my own caravan. I just don't see how i can go back there. My mom needs me and besides Mark, who is going to be waiting for me back at home?

Not a word from Quinn. It's been a month and a half. I really needed a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk to, and he turned his back on me. It hurts so much to think about him. I am thankful for him, for what he's taught me. I am my own man. I can stand on my own two feet.

I miss him, and a part of me always will.

Levi

?Good morning, Mom,? Levi walked into his mother?s bedroom carrying a wooden tray with a single plate of scrambled eggs, a cup of black coffee and a glass of orange juice. He?d plucked a bright yellow daisy from the garden and laid it beside the plate and utensils. He maneuvered around the room and settled the tray onto her night table. He then sat right down onto the edge of the bed and took his mother?s hands into his own. ?Are you up for some breakfast? Hmm?? He offered a smile that didn?t quite reach his eyes.

Margaret Rally sat up in her bed, propped up by a mountain of pillows and covered with a patchwork quilt that an old friend had made for her. There was no discernable pattern to the quilt and the friend said that each square represented somebody in her life and that Rally would be the one to decide which piece of cloth was for whom. She?d been too busy at the time the gift was presented to her, so none of the patches had been named. The quilt with it?s mad cacophony of color clashed horribly with the rest of her bedroom. The curtains were open and so were the windows. The summer breeze blew the filmy drapes in a gentle flap and the sun filtered in for natural lighting. The carpeting was off white and the walls were papered in pale pink and white stripes with tiny rosebuds in an intricate pattern. She had a tall solid oak dresser and matching wardrobe that was stained and varnished so maintain the natural color.

She had her quickly graying red hair in two plaits that started at a sharp widow?s peak and traveled down to the middle of her back. Never one for glasses, much less a book, a remote control was in her hand as she flipped through the channels. Though she had a stroke, her mind was still sharp. It was her body that was giving her the trouble. Her right hand trembled and was numb most of the time, as was her right foot. It had made her a downright grouch, as frustration took it?s toll. Only McCrimmon?s presence had lifted her spirits.

She looked upon her only son and sighed to herself. Levi had been through the worst of it. Her outbursts, her anger and frustration. He?d born the brunt of it all. And still, he stood there with his sad little smile and the breakfast tray that he?d prepared for her. There was a slight irritation with him when she reached for the spoon but couldn?t hold her hand still long enough and didn?t have the strength in her hand to hold onto the silverware. He?d put it on her right side. Again.

?Sorry,? Levi apologized when he realized his error. He picked up the tray and then walked around the foot of the bed to place the tray onto a small bedside table. ?I heard Bill say that he was coming over today. What would you like to wear?? He sat back down, but didn?t dare lift anything from the tray. His mother was stubbornly going to feed herself, even if she wore half of what she tried to eat. She?d snapped at him for trying to help and that was that. Until she asked, he wouldn?t try again.

?Billy?? Margaret?s face lit up and she sat up a bit straighter in bed. It was very obvious to Levi that his mother was quite taken with Bill McCrimmons and he bore the first genuine smile of the day. ?Oh, I think that lovely blue blouse with the flowers and my white trousers,? she directed her son. Levi stood from the bed and went in search of the outfit.

?So how long have you and Bill been an item?? Levi tossed a glance over his shoulder and he could see his mother trying to hide her smile, being sly, behind her cup of coffee. He was glad for her. It had been a lonely life, even with all the people that had come and gone in the house. When Levi went off to college, she was left alone to deal with the different caravans and their brood. With the way that the caravan leaders revered her, it was obvious that she?d done a bang of job.

?You hush, talking to your mother like I?m some school girl getting her first kiss.? Margaret?s voice was filled with laughter though and she watched Levi as she slowly ate her breakfast. With practice she was getting better at using her left hand. ?Let?s talk about you. How is that lovely girl you went to college with? Suzanna, wasn?t it? Everyone said you two would be married by now.?

Levi kept his back to his mother and cringed. While Suzie had been a nice enough girl, he had distanced himself from her the first week of college. It got to the point where the only time they saw each other was at orientation and then each year?s matriculation. ?Oh, I suppose she?s ok,? he shrugged his shoulder and folded the white trousers over his arm before turning to his mother. ?But I think she dropped out of college after she married that doctor. Someone had to stay home and take care of their children.?

?Oh, right, right,? she waved off the story and pushed the tray about an inch away, indicating that she was done eating. ?Well, what about that Barlow girl? How are things there??

It was all he could do not roll his eyes. The thought of Billie saddened him and exasperated him at the same time. He sat the clothes onto the end of the bed and then walked over to gather the tray and empty cup and glass. ?I broke up with Billie, mom. After she miscarried she started acting really crazy. I couldn?t take it.?

Margaret lifted her hand to still her son, stop him from retreating to the kitchen. ?Levi, when are you ever going to settle down?? She looked at him with those caring eyes that matched his own. The question had come up so many times between them and his usual snippy reply of ?when I feel like it? seemed hardly appropriate any longer.

With a sigh, he sat down upon the edge of the bed and put his hand over hers where it lay upon his arm. His heart began to race and he had to tear his gaze from her to gather himself. He?d dreamed of telling her mom about himself, about who he really was. There was fear of being rejected, of being expelled, of being banished from his mother?s heart, mind and life. He squeezed her hand and took a deep breath to try to steel himself.

?Levi, what?s wrong?? Margaret hadn?t seen Levi quite this emotional in a very long time. He was the steady hand, the good boy who didn?t make trouble or blurt out hurtful things. He was her only son, her only child. She knew that something was wrong.

?I was engaged,? he said quietly. So quietly he wasn?t sure that he?d spoken the words out loud. So he turned his gaze back to her and took a deep breath to try again. ?I was engaged, mom. When I came up here, I wanted you to meet my fiance.? The words, once out, gave him courage to continue, to sit up straighter and to finish the story. ?But he didn?t come. He?s not coming. He?s not called, or texted. I don?t know why or what I?ve done. But he?s not coming.?

Margaret didn?t say a word as Levi gathered his strength and finally allowed what was troubling him to come spilling out of his mouth. She studied him, his anguish ridden face. For the first time she saw the dark circles under his eyes and the spark of joy that had always been in those eyes was not there. She wasn?t shocked by the revelation that he?d been engaged to a man; she?d known for years that Levi preferred men to women. But the fact that he was engaged at all, and didn?t bother to tell her really began to make her angry.

?Levi Clark. You mean to tell me that you had a fiance and that you didn?t bother to tell me? That it took me nearly dying for you to come and see me?? Her eyes blinked rapidly when she spoke and the fire was slowly dying in them. The anger was being replaced by sympathy and a sorrow that her son had been through two very stressful situations at the same time. ?Well. It?s best for him that he?s not here. I?d give him a piece of my mind for breaking your heart. Come here.?

When she opened her arm to him, Levi leaned and pressed his face to her shoulder. He hadn?t expected her reaction. He didn?t know what he had been so afraid of. It had always been just the two of them and of course they?d never turn their backs on each other, especially when they needed each other the most.

He didn?t cry, but he did let her hold onto him for as long as she liked. She made soft sounds of comfort and gently combed her fingers through his russet hair. After being comforted for what felt like an hour, but was probably no more than fifteen minutes, he lifted his head and kissed her cheek. ?I love you, Mom.?

?I love you too, son. Now go on and get these dirty dishes out of here before they attract flies.? There wasn?t the usual crack of a whip to her voice when she said it and Levi smiled fondly as he lifted the tray.

?Yes, ma?am. I?ll let you know when Bill gets here,? he chuckled as he walked out of her room and closed the door behind him.