I'd managed to calm myself and recompose myself enough to head on back to the Inn, where I found myself behind the bar and immediately put back to work again.

Keir had returned as had Sev and I'd found myself in quite the predicament, I felt pushed into a corner and I struck back the only way I could.. Or so I had thought.

Sev shook her head and she dared to voice what needed to be said so long ago. "You know he would have hated you grieving forever Han... he had too much life for that."

My gray-blue eyes went wide at Sev, my jaw set firmly, I damn near snapped the chain, that was holding the rings against my chest. At Sev's words I had clenched them so tightly in my balled fist, I felt the tension in the chain. My free hand slammed palm down onto the counter-top as I glared at Sev. "How dare you cher."

Sev thought for a minute and then blurted out, "Actually Hannah, I'm wondering why I waited so long."

"Je ne peux pas vous croire," I quipped back at Sev. I shook my head, the vehemence in my voice astoundingly strong as I just stared at Sev. "I really can't. You, you're different Sev, nothing like me in that damn department and you know it."

"I may not be like you Hannah, but I hate seeing you hurting," Sev clearly stated to me.

"I'm not hurting," I said, most matter of factly, I'd never admit it. I was in, and past full blown denial. Even after orders from the Boss, I had never sought counseling for what had happened, instead I had locked it away in a box, tucked beneath my heart -- And in ugly moments such as this, it tended to rear it's ugly head. "He's dead, there's not a damn thing you or I or God himself can do about it cher, dead." I shook my head. "You know that Maman and Papa said that you only love once.. Mark was that once cher."

"Like hell you aren't," Sev's hissed at me. "And I'm not talking love, I'm talking moving on with your life and finding some sort of joy."

Keir stood from his seat in a sudden burst of confidence. He only hoped that Hannah would accept. "You want to get some air?" The one thing he'd learned about losing his Becky was that he wasn't the only person to ever hurt. Unlike Hannah, he had dealt with it and learned that pain never goes away - other emotions just become stronger. He hoped to share his story with her, but didn't want to push her away. He usually stayed out of others' lives, but his talk with Alina showed him that sometimes stepping in is necessary. Sure, he'd just met her, but... he had nothing to lose in gaining her friendship.

My hand slammed down again, palm down against the counter top. "I am NOT hurting! IF I was, how do you explain that I can work so much and so quickly after it happened? What was it? Three days released from the hospital I was back to work? And only that long because Boss threatened to fire me if I came back any earlier." I looked away then, tears were threatening to surface and I wasn't one to cry. I swallowed around the lump that was forming before I looked back to Sev. "Joy? Moving on? I have moved on cher, we have the house back home, I work twenty four hours a day, seven days a goddamn week. If I was hurting, could I have continued to work like that? Joy. I find joy every time we solve a damn case, bringing families back together, finding the sick asses that cause this shit." My voice was growing louder and louder as the emotions were finally surfacing, I blinked at Keir mid-rant.

Sev didn't even blink, "You hide behind work Hannah -- But you know its not enough or you wouldn't be pushing me on every man in sight." Sev shook her head and added softly, "You still believe in happily ever after Han."

Keir just stood there calmly, hands finding their way into his windbreaker pockets. He wouldn't push her or urge her to join him. It was a friendly invitation where he planned to share something he normally didn't with others.

I looked between Keir and Sev, shaking my head a bit. Sev was right, I didn't admit that I was wrong often, honestly in my line of work, I was rarely ever wrong. To be wrong in my line of work, meant that someone would get hurt in the process.. Someone would loose someone that they loved.. Someone that needed to be put behind bars for a very long time, might walk free.. If I was wrong. I'd never grieved after they'd told me that Mark had been killed that night, I never cried. I stood there like a stone statue at his funeral, and I'd pushed on... Hiding behind work, behind my family, friends, teammates and whatever came my way.. I hid like a goddamn coward. Sev's voice cut through my self-recrimination, and a I blinked at her, tilting my head a bit.

"Go for a walk with Keir honey."

Gray blue eyes wandered over all the faces in the Inn. Yes, yes I did believe in happily ever after. I sighed again and shook my head. "I'm sorry cher." I snatched up a bottle of water and nodded to Keir. "Yeah, air. That sounds like a good idea." Bottle of water in hand, I looked towards Sev once more. "Merci toujours d'?tre l? de moi quand j'ai eu besoin de vous."

"You know I live to be your kick in the rear Han," Sev stated.

The raw emotion that presented itself in Hannah's expression was heart-breaking. Keir remembered what it was like to feel like that. The devastation of not knowing what to do, say, think... it was extremely taxing. "Come on," Keir stated before he nodded towards the back door and waited while Hannah spoke to Sev. How he wished he knew French!

"I'll be upstairs.. we can talk later ok?" Sev threw the question at me.

I nodded to her one more time. "We'll be back soon cher." I moved towards the back door, and towards Keir. Without another word or glance back, I disappeared out the Inn's back door with a heavy sigh and a weight pressing on my heart.