The last thing he had wanted to do was leave the Inn. This had been his first opportunity to have any in-depth conversation with Eva, but his nausea from the poison was getting worse, not to mention the bits of blood he was coughing up. On top of it, his stitches he had applied to that knife wound had come undone again. Perceval was fairly learned when it came to field dressing a wound, and he was pretty good at performing stitches as well. This wound however, being located on his lower back in his side, was almost impossible to get at. This biggest problem was that it didn?t seem to want to heal. Poor man?s poison indeed; he was beginning to believe that there was probably something more sinister coated on that blade than he first suspected.

He wasn?t halfway home before the road started spinning and the bits of blood he was coughing up were becoming more frequent. Stopping in the road, he looked back toward the city. It was time to swallow his pride; quit being a fool and get this looked at. He pondered a moment, and then started his slow walk back toward town. If there was anyone he would want to get help from, he knew who it was. Actually, it was the only person he knew with a medical background.

Keeping his hand pressed to his side, he made his way through the Marketplace and down the alley to Eva?s apartment door. He had dropped her off here almost week ago and this was the right place as far as his memory served. Raising his hand from his side to knock on the door, he looked at his palm. It was wet with blood. But this was no ordinary blood, it was thick; infected no doubt. Putting his hand back to his side, he raised his right hand and knocked on the door. He prayed she was home.

His face was pale and his sweating was getting worse. Maybe she wasn?t there? Maybe she had stayed at the Inn? He leaned himself against the door frame and waited.

He could feel the sweat running down his back. In his eyes, the alley turned slowly like some sort of macabre funhouse. Perceval closed them and rested himself against the doorframe. The cold of the wood and brick of the building against his face was the only thing that kept him from passing out right there on the small porch step. The wait had seemed like forever, though in all reality it was merely a minute before Eva had answered the door. Looking at her in the soft glow of ambient lights made his heart swell. For a moment, he felt his illness leave him. Though she had just beckoned him to come in, he stared at her for a moment, taking in her image one more time.

Using the doorway and the wall for support, he slipped past Eva and made his way up the stairs to her apartment. He slumped down into the closest chair he could find and sat there momentarily while he caught his breath. Looking over at Eva, he decided that trying to explain what was going on with words would be near impossible in the state he was in, so he simply leaned forward, reached back over his shoulder and grabbed onto his shirt, pulling it over his head and off.

If one didn?t already know by speaking to Perceval that he was in the military for 35 years, you could easily tell by looking at his body. His chest and back were polluted with scars. His back mostly; the result of spending 4 years of his life in a prison camp where daily floggings were commonplace. It was as if his body was a canvas for a budding abstract artist. Most of these wounds Perceval had cleaned and patched up on his own. But this new wound, it was beyond his abilities to heal.

He moved his left hand down his side and found the wound again to show Eva, although it wasn?t necessary. The gelatinous blood had already soaked through his shirt which now lay on the floor. The outside of the wound was caked in a mix of clear and red liquid. He winced when his fingers finally found the injury. Then his eyes found Eva?s.

?I haven?t been completely honest with you. Ten days ago, the day I told you someone attacked me?they stabbed me as well. I?.? , he stopped, coughing violently. Then his voice turned hoarse. ?I thought I could take care of it, but there was?something on the knife I think.? His eyes had wandered across the room as he tried to remember the whole event, then he looked back, finding Eva. Sweat dripped from his brow onto the wood floor. ?I need your help, Eva.?

He could see it in her eyes. That look of concern but at the same time, dismay. For a moment he had wondered himself why he hadn?t gone to anyone about this sooner. But in thinking about the question, the answer came just as fast.

Perceval had lived most of his adult life in the military. He?d seen horrible things. He?d seen what war can do to someone. Ninety-nine percent of the time he had a target on his back. Not only by the armies they had fought against, but from those within his own regiment looking for a quick way to ascend up the ranks. Trust was for fools. Early on he watched crooked high ranking officials having their way with civilian prisoners. They took valuables and they took the daughters of families. The ?enemy? as they would say. This practice was forbidden within the regiment he commanded, but he always thought back to the days when he watched it happen. Isn?t inaction as bad as doing the action?

One can only live in a world of hate and violence for so long. His retirement, at the end, felt slow in coming, but when it finally came to be, he thought he would be relieved of the burden of the emotional stress that war causes. He had never been so wrong.

There are days when he would look down and see nothing but blood stained hands. Stains that would not go away. There were days where he would close his eyes and he could see the face of every civilian that lay dead in the wake of his military engagements.

Perceval made the choice that he felt would be best for him and best for others. A type of self imposed exile, if you will. His father?s land had been waiting for him there, south of RhyDin city. Solitude became his company. The trees he grew and cared for so vigilantly became his family. The sun greeted him in the morning and the moon bade him goodnight. It was a simple life, yes, but one he met with open arms.

When her lips touched his forehead, it brought up emotions in him the he hadn?t felt in a long time, mostly because he had shoved those type of emotions deep down inside. They were useless to him?.at least they were at the time. And now here he was, reconsidering his exile. Was he a fool? Just looking at Eva, he knew the answer was no. But he felt for her as well. He knew there was something there, between the two of them, but there was no way that she knew what she would be getting into. Besides, how could he ever consider giving his heart to someone when it was never whole to begin with. These emotions he had locked away a long time ago, they were foreign to him. Could he do this again?

?I should probably tell you why I don?t have a medical license.? Eva?s question caught him off guard. He looked to her, wearily now, but mustered a smile for her nonetheless. ?If you think I?m going to change my mind and go get a second opinion, you?re wrong?? he said. ??but if you feel like sharing, I?ll listen. Regardless of the reason, I trust you.?

He heard her words. His initial feeling was shock. What kind of person was she? She couldn?t be some kind of junkie? Eva came off as far too intelligent and introspective than that.

His next feeling was doubt. Why the blazes would she be telling him this? If they truly had an interest in one another, this would not be the way to go about increasing that?..interest. Even in his mind he chose his words carefully. The last thing he was going to do was build himself up for a hard fall, nor did he want to lead her on. This whole?.interaction, with a female, in this way; it was all so new to him. He was trying hard to dredge up emotions that he hadn?t used in a long time. And with that thought, it brought him back to her.

Trust? Trust. Yes, this is how one builds trust in one another. Telling the other things that they would not usually tell a random soul. Maybe she is trying to build trust together? His face bore the smallest of smiles.

He watched her work. She was good, very good. Her actions were quick and exact. She new what she had to do, there was no pausing, no second guessing. He was impressed. They way she threw off her emotions and did her job. The way she was able to brush her feelings aside and concentrate on the objective. She was like a machine. Then his heart skipped; she was like him. He was like her. He had done the same thing in war. He had done the same here on the streets of RhyDin. Exacting a well deserved Reprisal against the city?s criminals who would do harm to its innocent civilians. It immediately brought him back to one of the first things she said to him when they looked at each other, seeing they both bore scars, yet on the opposite sides of their faces. ?Mirrors.? She said.

Maybe she was more accurate about that statement than she knew.


?So anyhow, I lost my medical license and the board barred me.?

His mind raced with what he could say to her; anything he could say to make her feel less uncomfortable. She hadn?t looked him in the eye the whole time. He considered telling her one of his crimes, something horrific. Something that would lessen the shame she felt.

No. This was not about him. This was not a warped game of one-upmanship.

He said three words. He hoped that they were the right ones. ?They were wrong.?

He turned in the chair as she had instructed, and it was fortunate for him because he could hide the annoyance in his face about his own comment. Judging by her courteous smile to him, he knew he had no idea of the scope of the issue he was trying to address. He wasn?t going to make everything better just by uttering a few words. What was she going to do? Jump up, hug him, thank him for his words and tell him how he has released of any and all guilt in her life? You?re terrible at this, Perceval. Keep your mouth shut and let her work.

He stewed for a while, and she spoke again. ?I?ve been clean for more than ten years.? He listened, but this time he did not respond. Staring at the wall as she did her work, his mind was awash with what he should say?what he should do? Then it struck him. Honesty?..just tell her what you're thinking? It was so obvious that he felt like an idiot for not having even considered it.

Perceval turned his head and looked down toward her as she knelt by his side, working. ?Eva, I haven?t been with a woman...? he paused, ??in a relationship for more than 30 years. I was in the military for so long, I think that I may have forgotten a few things about making connections between two people.? Then he sighed aloud and stared back across the room at the wall. ?No I take that back. I don?t know much of anything about how to talk to women?at least in an emotional kind of way.?

This was either going to make things better between the two or ruin everything, but he continued regardless.

?I don?t know what caused you to start using medications like you did, but I hope that you acknowledge what you did as wrong and I know that you are trying to make it right?.make it better. I?ve done my fair share of sinning, whether by my own hand or not. I know I can?t go back in time and make things right again, it?s too late for that. All I can do is look ahead; reap what I have sown, even if the harvest is bitter. I'm not sure I'm much good for anyone right now...? he gave a half shrug, "...except for maybe my trees."?

He hadn?t necessarily gone into any details about his own life. This was going to be a learning process for him, interacting with Eva. God, he didn?t want to hurt her.

The first thing Eva would have noticed would be Tucker?s increased heart rate. Having her so close to him like that, it was more intimate than he had been with someone in a long time. And it wasn?t just having any woman close, it was having Eva close.

He had listened carefully to her words. Redemption. It was not something he had considered possible for himself. Yes, he had been following orders all those years, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not justify the death toll. ?Redemption,? he said, ?in my opinion is something that needs to be earned.? He tried to breathe easy as Eva knelt there in front of him. ??it shouldn?t come easy. I just don?t see how some things can be wiped away.? His thoughts took him to all the faces of those who lay dead by his hand. One in particular; that little girl.

Feeling his eyes begin to well, he shut them, hard, and forced himself to think of other things.

?Surviving in spite of your wrong doing can be a blessing or a curse. Yes, maybe it can be used to your advantage, and this ?redemption? can be achieved. Maybe it?s more of a sentence. Having to live with the memories of things we?ve done in our past?for the rest of our lives?..? he trailed off.

Looking down at Eva, he gently pushed a strand of hair from her face. ?I wish I could share your optimism.? He smiled at her when her eyes met his. ?I?m sorry. I don?t mean to sound so negative. I guess we all have access to redemption. Whether or not one will allow themselves to achieve it is the question. I believe that the only one to judge whether or not they have been redeemed is themselves.?

He hated to sound so glum, but he didn?t want to try to come off as something or someone he was not. He had thought a lot about the topic of redemption. Tucker had made the decision a long time ago that he was not worthy of it.

Tucker couldn?t help but stare. He stared for a long time. Though he knew Eva was being completely professional, he couldn?t help but try to reconcile the image in his head.

Eva, standing there, next to the bed with the comforter drawn, waiting for him. Snap out of it, Percy!

He stood quickly; maybe too quickly as he felt a twinge of pain in his side where she?d been working. Putting his hand over the fresh bandage, he smiled at her, a bit embarrassed. ?Really, I?m fine. I can make it home alright. That would be best.? He nodded assuringly, hoping she would agree. But she said nothing.

His eyes darted around the room. ?Besides, where would you sleep? I mean?I can sleep on the floor. That would be alright. The floor?? His mouth was dry now and was running out of options for himself.

Tucker had faced some pretty rough opponents in his day. He had been in too many battles for him to remember. He?d fought barbarian hordes, Tuchux, Vikings, Drow?he?d seen his fair share of enemies. But this?.? Why was it that he couldn?t keep his head about him? His first inclination was to tuck tail and run. But he didn?t.

His palms got sweaty, so hiding them behind his back he stood there, staring back at her like a wide eyed child. Hoping, in a way that she would tell him what to do. That would be easier?wouldn?t it?

Perceval tentatively walked across the small apartment to where Eva was standing. He tried to hide the slightest of an embarrassed look on his face as he approached her. Thinking what he had, even for the shortest moment was probably a bit arrogant of him. It wasn?t his way and he felt a bit ashamed it even crossed his mind. He came to her for help and she gave it, without question. Besides, once he relaxed, he would most probably pass out from the exhaustion his body was under from fighting the poison?s effects.

Sitting on the bed, he unlaced his work boots and set them aside. This whole experience was so different for him. His life, as of late, was comprised of nothing more than being home on the farm or in the city at work in the Inn, not to mention his most recent extracurricular activities. He felt vulnerable. No one has taken care of him in a long time. He always did for himself.

He watched as she prepared the antibiotic. Never had he used any medications to make himself heal. He had done it in the past through sheer will power. Though cauterizing a wound by use of gunpowder isn?t probably the most accepted method, these were the things he was used to. These were the things he knew worked. But now, watching Eva, he considered that maybe he wasn?t taking the best care of himself that he should have been. Maybe he should have seen a doctor a long time ago. Maybe he was just getting old. 53 years of hard mileage can be demanding on a body.

?Thank you?.Eva. For everything you?ve done, really. What can I do to help you replace the things you?ve used tonight?the medicines must be expensive?...not to mention your time.? He motioned to her medical bag as he spoke, and then looked up at her from his seated position on the bed.

Having listened to her answer, he had a good inclination that she needed something, but short of interrogating her right then and there, he hoped that she would eventually tell him. He surely wasn?t going to allow her to do these services free of charge, acquaintance or not. We all have to make a living somehow.

His mind started whirling with the possibilities of what he could do for her. Leave her a sack of silver crowns? A gift? One of his trees maybe? He could try to replace the medicines she used on him? He lay back on the bed as he continued his thoughts. Then he turned his head to look at her. She needs something; why can?t she tell me? He wanted to know more so for his own benefit so that he could deliver the proper payment he owed her. But just as much, he didn?t want her to do without something because of him. He was indebted to her. It was his obligation. He just wanted to make sure he did it right.

His thought processes slowed now. The sedative he thought was an antibiotic coupled with the fact that his body was exhausted made him drowsy almost immediately. So now he just looked at her, following all the features of her face with his eyes. He especially noticed her soft smile, which made him smile at her in return. His eyelids became heavier. Perceval reached out across the space between them to take Eva?s hand. One last showing of his appreciation and affection for her. Though the only thing that was taken was Perceval; taken by sleep. He lay there slumbering with outstretched arm. His hand extended, having stopped only inches from hers.

By the time Eva awoke, Perceval was gone. The pills on the nightstand were taken, and the bed was made. On a table near Eva, a few things were left behind.

Hot coffee with creamers and sugars tucked neatly beside it along with a smaller cup of orange juice. A paper bag containing two bagels with assorted cream cheeses and butter. And finally, a single white rose in a modest glass vase.

A note was left as well, which read:

Eva,

Please don?t worry about me as I am feeling much better already. I didn?t have the heart to wake you this morning. You looked too peaceful as you slept.

Your breakfast I have left does not begin to repay my debt to you. I trust that you will let me know what you need, no matter how large or small.

In the meantime, I will be thinking of you and hope to see you soon.

I cannot say ?Thank You? enough.

Perceval