Topic: Scene16: Uproot

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-05-19 04:34 EST
Early morning, April 27th..

He hadn't looked back.

The more he tried not to think about it, the more his cheek burned and itched. He had made it three hundred and thirty-seven steps without touching his face. And he was glad he wasn't around anyone he knew when he did.

He turned corners when he came to them, not really paying attention to where he was going. He just wanted to get away from the hall as fast as he could.

The sound of a loud snap made him jump and look around. It had been a lady shaking out clothing to hang up for sale. She did it again..and again.. It reminded him of the slap. His face burned more. He rubbed it, pushing on again..grunting.

He walked fast enough to make his legs tired, his heels buzz from repeated banging into the unforgiving cobblestones.

He tripped over things, bumped into people..

"Och, lad!"

People called out to him..he didn't know if it was for what they were selling or if they were mad, but he didn't stop.

"Lad!"

He wasn't ready to stop yet..

"TOBY!"

"Ah..!" He blinked, whirled around. Another lady hurried toward him, holding a wide brimmed hat to her head with a hand that was covered in a dirty gardening glove.

"Gracious, child, have ye gone deaf? I've been chasin' ye for two whole minutes."

He stared at the lady, his head tilting in confusion. He knew her..her face and voice were the same.. And so were her glasses.. But she was wearing jeans, a flannel shirt and work boots..

"Sister Matilda.. I, uh..kinda didn't hear you.." he said, giving her an awkward smile. She swatted him on the shoulder.

"Well, I've figured that part out myself, lad. What in the world would have ye racin' along so fast that ye don't have any idea of yer surroundings?"

"Mmph.." He shook his head, shrugging. "Nothing really.. Just thinking about stuff.."

"Really now?" She straightened her hat and rearranged the basket that she had stationed over her left arm. "Anything ye care to share?" She started walking, looked over her shoulder at him. Her eyebrows shot up..asking him if he was following. He cleared is throat, strode after her.

"Not really.." He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep them there. "You're wearing normal clothes.."

Sister Matilda laughed. "That I am, lad, that I am. It's nearly impossible to move 'round in my normal attire. Mondays and Tuesdays I do rigorous work here in the city and I won't be any help to anyone trippin' over myself."

He snorted softly, smiling..nodding. "Yeah.."

"Do ye know there's an outline of a hand on yer face, lad?" He grunted softly. She didn't look at him when she spoke, though. "Ye aren't tryin' to get frisky with yer female friends, are ye?"

He blinked, hard. His feet stopped moving and he stared at her incredulously. "Of course not.. What the hell would ask that for..?"

She chuckled softly, waving for him to follow her. She'd taken the gloves off. "From the little I know of ye, I doubt that ye're capable of doin' such things..but I was just curious, lad. Ye can't hold an old woman's thoughts against her."

He grunted again, following. He didn't walk by her side. His hands shifted in his pockets.

"How have ye been fairing?"

It took him a moment to answer. He didn't really know what she meant.. "I'm okay, I guess.. Nothing else funny has happened.."

"Have ye been eating well?"

"Yeah..I think.. I do it a lot more than I used to..and I sleep more and wear more clothes.."

She chuckled softly again. He grinned, pushed a little more speed into his pace, following her around a corner. The cathedral loomed high on his right, gleaming in the morning sunlight..rainbow colors glinting off of the windows' surfaces, stabbing his eyes enough to make him squint.

"I say, that's good to hear, lad. Ye did always wear the barest essentials, even when it was rainin' out." She boxed him lightly on the shoulder. He could feel the warmth of her hand through his hoodie's sleeve. "Are ye still stayin' at that room ye have with yer friend?"

He blinked, frowning in thought. He'd wanted to be by himself..and had told Katt not to follow him. He didn't want to see her, or May. Thinking of their faces made him sad.

"Lad?"

"I, uh..I dunno.. I kinda just wanted to be by myself.."

"That's not what I asked."

He nodded, stepping forward..not stopping until he was standing in front of the busted stone fountain before the church's fanning staircase. He looked up at the oak doors, the familiar stained glass windows.

He felt better..like he was the only one standing there.. Like the church was looking down at just him, wanting him to go inside..

He could hide there..

"...rooms here that aren't used if ye didn't have anywhere to stay. What do ye think, lad? If ye say no, I shall understand."

He turned slowly to face her. "What..?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Ye need to pay better attention," she said, moving past him and starting her slow climb of the stairs. "I said that this church is fairly large, and ye said that ye were lookin' to be by yerself for a while. I figure that's why ye came and sat out here for hours on end for all that time.." she heaved a grunt of effort as she cleared the last stair and reached out to pull the door open.

"Would ye like to stay here or not?"

He blinked, looked into the dark hole that was the open door. There wasn't any singing today.. But he could see candles still.. He'd never been inside..

He gulped and stepped forward, taking the flat steps two at a time. "Yeah..I think that'd be okay.."

"Very well, lad," Sister Matilda gestured him in ahead of her. He ducked into the church, suddenly drenched in shadows and cool air. He moved forward, tilting his head back so he could see the high, decorated ceiling. There were shiny pictures..lots of angels, flowers, clouds.. She touched him on his shoulder and he jumped..looked down at her.

"I'll show ye to yer room."

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-05-19 21:37 EST
He took up most of the small doorway that led into the equally small room. If he stayed here, he knew he was going to forget to duck when he came into it..and would smack his head over and over again..

The modest bed was situated on the west wall with a beaten up looking nightstand on its left. The north wall was, mostly, a large window. He was kind of sad to find it didn't have any pretty colors or pictures. A wardrobe stood on the east wall, facing the foot of the bed..there was a skinny, brown door on its right and a desk and chair set was on its left; a golden lamp with a green glass shade atop its right corner.

He stepped down into the room, turning to look at the door..and poked the single stair with his foot. He was gonna forget about that too..

"I know it's not much, but we're hardly stayin' in the Lord's house for luxurious purposes," Sister Matilda said, chuckling. He shook his head, worked the strap of his bag over his head and tossed it onto the bed.

"No, it's okay.. This is kinda like what I had at the inn.. I like it.."

"Well, that's good. It used to be a storage room." She nodded, removed her huge hat and tucked it down into the basket on her arm. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with frizzy silver wisps framing her face. "In fact, the only reason it became an extra room is because we had turned its neighbor into a washroom, and thought it was only appropriate. We have too much storage space as it is.

"Don't use the bed yet, lad, I'll go fetch Sera to bring ye some fresh linens. Those things are probably moth eaten. But if ye wish to clean up, or somethin' of that nature, the washroom's just through that tiny door there."

He nodded, rounding the foot of the bed and touching the window. It swung wide open..and a cool breeze floated inside. "Thanks.."

"Indeed. She'll be right with ye, lad."

He turned to find the doorway empty. The air around him in the pocket sized room buzzed with new silence. He liked it though.. He felt alone here, no one knew where he was.. There were several foot thick layers of stone, narrow hallways and hidden corridors separating him from outside. A warm breeze crawled over the back of his neck and ears from the open window.

He chewed on his bottom lip and glanced to the skinny doorway beside the wardrobe. He could wash up..like she'd said.. He unzipped his hoodie and left it on top of his bag. His scarf, necklace, bracelets..all followed.

A bath would probably make him feel better too..

******

He shouldered out of the tiny bathroom door, holding his bunch of clothes in one hand..the knot of the white towel around his waist in the other..and blinked at the tiny nun who had frozen, he figured, in the middle of shaking out a sheet to put on the bed.

Her milk white cheeks bloomed bright red and shiny, her green eyes morphing to the size of dinner plates. He blinked at her again..but it helped get the water droplets out of his eyes. He was very aware of the fact that he hadn't dried off yet either..

"I-I-I'm so sorry!! Good Heavens!! Sister Matilda s-said..oh dear.. I hope you can finish things by yourself!!" The nun squeaked and covered her heated face with her hands..turning on her heel and rushing to the door. She tripped over the single stair leading out of the room and whimpered. She reminded him of very scared chipmunk..

"That must have been Sera..I guess.." he muttered, tossing his clothes on the bed. He crossed to the door a moment later, pulling it closed..to try and avoid any more meetings..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-05-27 03:22 EST
Afternoon, April 29th..

He hugged his knees loosely to his chest, his fingers folded together on his shins. He'd been staring out the window for a while..he'd watched the sky change, felt all the wind that had blown into the really tiny room.

It was pretty outside.. The sun was shining so bright, it turned the leaves of the single, huge tree and the grass an almost yellow green. The breeze made them glitter.. Even the surfaces of all the dingy stones sticking up from the ground looked shiny.

"Lad? Are ye in?"

He blinked, turned his head slowly to the door.. That's when he heard the knocking. How long had that been going on..?

"Uh..yeah, I'm here.."

The handle squealed and Sister Matilda pushed into the room, taking up all of the space the doorway had to offer. She was wearing her nun's clothes.. He tilted his head.

"There ye are, Toby. I've been lookin' for you everywhere, though it ne'er dawned on me to actually check yer room," she said, chuckling softly. "Have ye been cooped up in here since ye came to us?"

He nodded, then shrugged softly. "I dunno.. I mean, I go outside to get food and stuff.. But I've mostly been in here.." He chewed on his bottom lip and looked back out the window..pointing at it.. "That's a graveyard outside, right..?"

"Indeed." He heard her bustle further into the room..saw her taking up the spot in between the foot of his bed and the wardrobe. "All of those persons special to us, or to the church, are buried there. 'Tis a sacred, peaceful place, e'en if it's fallen into a state of disrepair."

"Yeah, I can see that.. Why..? If it's all important to you guys and stuff.."

He didn't see her shrug. "O'er the years as the church grew and it saw more people pass through it's doors, the graveyard turned into a place for quiet reflection more than a place to mourn our deceased. We became short staffed..there's not that many people here to take care of it as well as our other duties. But mostly, those buried here, Lord rest their souls," she paused to cross herself with her right hand, "would rather us focus on our mission than worry ourselves to death o'er makin' sure their stones are free of moss."

He pushed off of the bed, hobbling toward the window..trying to beat the feeling back into his legs.. He leaned against the wall, looking down into the small graveyard. He blinked when he saw people down there.. One of them was taller than the other..they had short, dark hair.. The other was wearing nun's clothes. They were half hidden by the big tree..and they were hugging..

He cleared his throat, turned to look back at Sister Matilda. "I could do it.."

She blinked..a lot.. "Ye'd wish to work here, lad?"

He shrugged, looking back out the window. The nun had left..and the other person was leaning up against the tree with their forehead. "Yeah.. I guess.. It wouldn't be that hard, right..? I've done gardening stuff, I think.."

"Ye surprise me, lad. I didn't think ye had a workin' bone in yer body. E'en if ye've got the muscles to suggest otherwise," she laughed softly, clapping him on the shoulder with one of her warm hands. He hadn't heard her come up behind him. "Och, there's Patrick now. Patrick, lad!" she shouted out the open window. Toby stepped back, blinking.

"Yeah, what's up?" the man answered from outside. He didn't sound old..

"I want ye to meet Toby down in the kitchens, there's several deliveries that need to be done!"

"Who the he--I mean heck's Toby?"

"Ye'll find out when ye get there, lad. Get a move on!" Sister Matilda leaned back from the window and motioned for him to go to the door. He blinked, clambered over the bed and paused on the small step.

"I thought I was supposed to fix the graveyard thing.."

"Ye said that ye wished to work here. If ye do one job, ye must do them all." She shooed him forward. He had to oblige or risk getting ran into.. He stepped out onto the narrow second floor landing that ran parallel to the nave on either side. There were a couple people kneeling in the pews, their hands together in front of them. He quickly shut his mouth and followed Sister Matilda's directions. "Ye'll be paid of course, lad, so don't worry about that."

"But..I don't need money.." he couldn't make his voice go above a whisper. For some reason, he felt like he really needed to be quiet.. They started down a staircase that brought them to the first floor. "I can just do it in exchange for the room or something.."

"Ye don't need money, lad..? Are ye sure that's what ye'd like? It's not a necessarily good payin' job, but it's better than nothin'."

"Nah, it's okay.. Really, I can get by without it.."

"Alright, lad, if that's yer choice.. Though, I dunno if ye've lost all yer marbles in the short time I haven't seen ye.." She bustled in front of him and disappeared around a left turn. He snorted softly..hurrying to catch up..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-12 04:37 EST
"Now, of the se'eral duties ye'll have, deliverin' food and other things to places all about town will be one of yer most frequent. A church's duty is to be a haven to all of those that need it, and ye can't rightly stay within these walls without a small desire to do the Lord's work.

"Although, lad, I think for ye, the good Lord would make an exception." Sister Matilda laughed softly as she led him down one narrow hallway, and then another. It smelled like bread, chocolate and roast beef. He didn't think that all those smells together could make him hungry..

"Since ye've been in this city for a while, yer knowledge of it will come in handy. Patrick get's lost sometimes, ye see."

"Hey, that's not fair Matilda! I only got lost once, and that was 'cause my da--I mean dang bike tire blew out."

Toby whirled around at the voice echoing behind them, blinking. A tall, young man hurried toward them..a huge grin on his face that extended to his jade green eyes. He had a mop of shaggy, maroon colored hair that he shook away from his forehead. He set half of a cigarette between his lips with his left hand.

"Patrick, lad, what've I told ye about smokin' in the Lord's house?" Sister Matilda paused in the large doorway of what Toby assumed was the kitchen from the smells wafting from it. He looked between the two of them quietly. Patrick beamed around the cigarette.

"Yeah, but you also said waste not, want not..and something else along those lines. C'mon, Matilda, it's almost done," he whined. Toby snorted, smiling a little. Patrick gave him a thumbs up.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sister Matilda throw her hands up in the air and bustle into the kitchen. He followed after her..he could hear footsteps behind him.

"If ye want to have yer lungs black before yer thirty and face Agatha for it, then be my guest, lad. Just don't say I didn't warn ye."

Patrick quickly stubbed out the butt of the cigarette on the hard sole of his shoe and lobbed it into one of the nearby waste baskets.

The kitchen was huge.. It reminded him of the hall. The north wall was taken up by several large wardrobe looking closets. The east and west walls were lined with stoves and ovens, most of which had metal pots on top of them, and something baking within them. Ladles, spoons, pots and pans hung above them in neat rows. Sunlight streamed through the large window above the trough-like sink behind him, making the dingy stone look white and clean.

Sister Matilda walked down the length of the wooden table dominating the center of the room. One end was stacked with cardboard boxes of all sizes. Patrick had started separating the smallest ones from the biggest.

"Now, this part's easy. Marlena's here most of the time cookin' and preparin' the meals, and when she's not, she'll be out gettin' some more food to repeat the process. Can ye cook, Toby?"

"Uh.." he blinked, shrugged slowly. "Yeah, it depends on what, though.. I'm not good at some stuff.."

"Och, well, then ye can be a great hand to her if she e'er needs it. In essence, ye'll come down to the kitchens the very first thing. Whate'er needs to be delivered will be on this table, and ye can take whate'er yer able to carry. The addresses are attached.

"I'll leave ye two to it. Play nice, boys." Sister Matilda chuckled and swept out of the kitchen.

"Whew," Patrick whistled, looking over the packages on the table. "There's a pile today. Haha, I'm Patrick by they way," he said, putting on a cheery smile. He made his way over to Toby and stuck his hand out expectantly. It was somewhat broad and calloused. Toby stared at it, then looked up at him..offering a flat grin and an awkward wave.

"Toby.."

He watched one of Patrick's dark eyebrows jerk up on his forehead, but another smile smoothed onto his face. He pulled his hand back, ushering a stack of packages into his arms. "It's kinda bit--I mean cool to see someone else around here my age. 'Course there's Sera, but she doesn't count. Grab those others, would ya? Can get all this done in one trip. You got wheels, Toby?"

"Uh.." he blinked, pausing, his arms half wrapped around the package stack. "Wheels..?"

"Yeah, like, a bike or..well, that's pretty much it." Patrick snickered. Toby shook his head.

"No..I don't.."

"Seriously? Well damn. I mean dang," Patrick sighed, but flicked an easy grin in Toby's direction. "Oh well, c'mon man, I've got a bike and you don't look heavy. Let's go before the vulture descends."

He blinked, following after Patrick as he strode toward a slender door in the corner of the east wall that he hadn't known was there. "You don't mind being a backseat driver, do you?" he asked, pushing through the door and holding it with his foot. Toby hurried through, blinking. He felt like he was doing that a lot..

"Backseat driver.."

"Man, where the hell are you from? No handshake, no wheels, no knowledge of annoying behaviors." Patrick paused in the dark passage, clapping him on the shoulder. He jumped to the touch, almost losing several boxes.

"I've got a lot to teach you."

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-13 00:37 EST
"So, Toby..how long have you been here?" Patrick took a huge bite out of the apple in his hand. Its crunch echoed in the small graveyard. Toby fiddled with his own apple, twisting the stem out of it.

"I dunno.. A while..a couple years, maybe..?"

"Da--uh, dang!" he snickered and shook his head, tossed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes. "I've only been here about six months. No wonder you knew where everything was!"

Toby grinned, nodding. He busied his hands with peeling the tiny sticker off the red skin of his apple. "I used to walk around a lot when I had nothing to do.. Guess I must've done it enough.."

"You walked the hell around for two straight years? Holy sh--I mean crap."

"Nah, not the whole time..but a bunch of it.."

"Where'd ya live before you came here?" Patrick took another bite out of his apple, turning an innocent, questioning look in his direction.

"Uh.. It was..a tiny town called Werou.."

"Why'd you leave?"

Toby paused before he took a small bite out of his apple, shrugging slowly. "It wasn't there anymore.." He could see Patrick gawking out of the corner of his eye. Toby wasn't sure if he wanted to ask any more questions. They crunched on their apples in near silence.

"Man, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Patrick said suddenly through what sounded like a frown. Toby blinked and looked over at him. He was staring at one of the gravestones sprouting crookedly out of the freshly cut grass.

"Nah.." Toby shook his head, waving a hand. "Don't worry about it.. It's not that big a deal.. Plus, you didn't know, right..?"

"Yeah." Patrick smirked, setting aside his apple core. "I came here after Sera. She's ah..she's a good friend of mine," he said, nodding. There was a soft smile on his face as he patted himself down, fitted a cigarette to his lips..and lit it. Toby blinked. "She came here about a half a year before me. Took me a while to find her."

"Sera.. The little tiny nun girl..?"

Patrick laughed softly. "Yup, that's her. Could fit her in the pocket of a doll's jeans. She ain't a full nun yet, still in training..or whatever the hell they call it. I don't understand it much, but.." He trailed off, shrugging. Toby nodded, but didn't ask anything. He didn't think he even had.. Patrick had just started talking..

"Well, I'm gonna take off for a while, kid," he said, nodding..standing up. He slapped Toby on the shoulder and strode toward the large archway that led into a hidden passage on one side of the church.

He set his apple down on the stone bench and stretched his legs out in front of him. It was really quiet, but the silence didn't buzz in his ears like it normally did. The only thing he heard was the rustle of leaves above his head. The sunlight was warm on his face and body. He closed his eyes.

It was peaceful.. He felt just fine..

He could get used to it here..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-13 05:03 EST
April 30th

He worked..

If there were deliveries, he delivered them. If there was food to cook, he cooked it. Floors to sweep and mop, laundry to do, replacement of the candles..maintenance of the graveyard..

Anything..everything..he did it..

He liked it..

He liked being busy..his mind didn't have time to think.. He had to focus on his tasks, otherwise he would screw them up..

He woke up before the sun rose, went to sleep long after it set.. His muscles burned from exhaustion..

Above all else, he was making a difference.. He saw the looks on the people's faces, felt the warm waves of gratitude as they washed over him.. Really, he was only helping people because he was supposed to..but it didn't stop it from feeling nice..

He didn't even know how much time it had been since he'd seen any of his friends..

Maybe..he should go do that..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-16 02:37 EST
The day had started out just fine..

And then in ten minutes..

He set his untouched ramen bowl down next to May's cooled, half full one. He'd wanted to try and eat some..she'd made it for him.. But he knew his stomach wouldn't agree with it.

He sighed, rubbed at his face and the half dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Katt..wasn't supposed to hear that conversation.. He didn't know why May had started asking him those questions, and he didn't know what made him start talking..

He'd said that he didn't feel the same way about her..still.. And that he didn't want to try anymore..

He'd never admitted that out loud before.. He hadn't wanted it to be true.. He really did try..

He wished it was different..and that she hadn't heard.. He wanted to go back in time. But..maybe it was better that she knew..

He pushed off of the couch, his hand pressed into his mouth. He aimed for the back door, the opposite direction his friends had taken.

He had to get it all out of his system.. He couldn't be like this tomorrow..

It was May's birthday, and that meant it wasn't about him at all. He didn't want to ruin it..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-18 00:20 EST
Early morning, May 2nd

Stepping out into such bright morning light after a conversation like that seemed wrong.. He pushed his fingers into his eyes, trying to make the burning stop as he walked. He didn't know where he was going.. He had to clear his head..

It was May's birthday..and she had been so weird.. She wasn't acting like Katt at all.. He knew the night before had sucked..but he'd thought she'd be a lot better at hiding stuff.. Like he was..

After all, wasn't she always saying that she didn't used to have emotions..? If she didn't have them, then she should know how to make it look like she didn't..

He sniffed, shoved his hand into his hair.

It didn't matter, the night was over with.. He'd said what he needed to say.. He didn't think it sucked that much.. May had even dressed up..she looked pretty.. And he'd wrapped up a bunch of food for her.. He could pretend, if only in his own head, that that was her birthday present..

He found himself looking up at the second floor of the inn with next to no recollection of how he got there. Had he already walked that far..? His hand slowly dragged down his face.

He shouldn't stay here anymore.. He had a room at the church, he could just move there.. And Katt could use this place..even though, he didn't think she would. Had she told him she was going to leave him alone too..?

It'd be a good thing.. She wouldn't have to see him and feel bad.. And he wouldn't have to see her act weird, or hurt..because of what he'd said..and what he didn't feel..

He wasn't really going away, but..

He trotted up the porch steps and shouldered into the inn's main room. He didn't have a lot of stuff. He'd be done packing soon..and gone long before she'd decide to go back..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-25 02:44 EST
He sat at the small desk in his room, the entirety of his crystal collection strewn out before him. He ushered like colors together with the tip of his index finger..creating small, shimmering groups.

He had finished putting all his stuff away..it was a good thing he didn't have very much.. The only thing he had trouble with was the huge claymore.. He couldn't lift it like he used to..

His hand paused first over a bright green crystal..and then over a teal one, his thumb tracing along the edges of each..lingering more on the former than the latter.

"...you just listen to me, goddamnit, for once?!"

"D-don't say such things so loud, the whole church will hear us!!"

"SO WHAT?! I don't care if they do! Least they'd be hearing about something. And if all those damn penguins can be happy, why can't we?"

"There is no we, Patrick."

"Like hell there's not."

Toby blinked, staring at the half open window. He'd..never heard either of them yell..before..

"We have been over this, I do not--"

"Stop it. You're lying, and we both know it. What the hell are you running from, Sera?"

"Just..let me go."

He pushed away from the desk, wincing as the chair legs scraped against the floor. He didn't think they'd be able to hear it, but still.. He chewed on his mouth as he slipped up to the window, peering down into the graveyard below.

Sera was closer to him, dressed in her nun clothes.. Patrick was behind her, and it looked like he was holding onto her arm.

"You ran away six months ago, and now you're hiding in here. I'm not letting you get away from me again. I lo--"

"No!! Don't say it!!" Sera tugged at her arm, but Patrick tugged harder. She ended up spinning around..and bumped into his chest. He held her against him. Toby squinted. Sera's hands shoved at Patrick's sides..but she soon hugged him too.

They stayed that way for a couple minutes.. He assumed Patrick said something..because she shook her head, and started shoving against him again. He let her go, and she scurried away..

He watched Patrick's head lower. A gentle breeze made the branches of the tree and his floppy hair move.

He didn't understand what was going on.. Patrick looked sad..and Sera had been..angry..? He didn't think she could get angry.. She was always really nice and quiet..

He frowned as Patrick all but fell onto the stone bench beneath the tree..smothering his face in his hands. Toby thudded the outside of his fist against the wall, right next to the window..and turned sharply for the door to his room. He stopped long enough to toss the thin blanket from his bed over the desk, hiding all of the crystals from view.

It was a church, but..he still didn't want anyone stealing them..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-26 04:16 EST
"Hey.."

Patrick looked up over his fingertips. The red rings around his eyes made their green color stand out almost too much. Toby blinked..and took a step back.

"I, uh.. Did you wanna be by yourself..?"

"Nah," Patrick sniffed, dug at his eyes with his fingertips. "Nah, it's cool, Toby. How're you?" His tone made Toby snort. It sounded like he hadn't even wanted to ask.. He tossed one of the apples in Patrick's direction, who caught it..then sat on the very end of the stone bench.

Toby fiddled with his apple while Patrick ate his. He didn't want to ask if he was okay.. He already knew that answer.. He glanced over, finding Patrick looking at him..slowly chewing.

"Look, man, I don't know you very well, but you don't really seem the type to randomly sit in a graveyard and eat apples unless you're by yourself. What do you want?"

"Mmph.." Toby tossed his apple from one hand to the other. "I..kinda wanted to see if you were okay or not.. 'Cause.." He glanced up at the church walls, pointing at the half open window some two stories up. "Sister Matilda gave me that room.. I kinda..heard you guys.."

"You heard us."

Toby nodded slowly. "I mean..I didn't mean to, but you guys were yelling, so.." He could feel Patrick staring at him. He didn't want to look over and gauge his expression. It startled him when he laughed.

"Ah, man, you're something else, you know that?" Patrick slugged Toby weakly in the shoulder and shook his head.

"You're not pissed off..?"

"Pissed off? Ha, hardly. I knew someone was gonna hear. Sorta thankful it was you and not Agatha. I'm not in the mood for her sh*t today."

Toby snickered, driving dents into the skin of the apple with his thumbnail. "So.. Are you guys okay..?" He hadn't really wanted to ask. It made his stomach clench and feel weird..

"Yeah. We should be just dandy." He didn't know if Patrick was joking or not. "Once Sera calms down, I'm certain this whole thing will just blow the hell over."

"It was weird.. I've never heard her yell before.. She's always so quiet and stuff.."

Patrick chuckled. "Yeah, she is. Quiet, polite. Haven't heard her yell in a very long time. It doesn't happen too much, she'll be fine. You know, I've never thought of you as being one who cares about other people like that. You're usually off by yourself. What changed?"

Toby grinned, listening to the familiar sound of a lighter flicking..and Patrick's first sigh of smoke. "I'm not, really.. But.. You guys have been nice to me.. You're my friends.." He shrugged. "I like when my friends are okay.."

"We're your friends, huh? Heh." Patrick laughed quietly again, flicked ashes off into the air. "That's pretty cool of you, kid. We're alright. We'll be alright. Thanks."

Toby nodded, finally lifting his apple up for a bite. He chewed slowly, wiped his mouth with his knuckles. The conversation was pretty much over.. That was all he came out here to do..

"Well.."

"I just don't get what her problem is. I know..how she feels. And she knows how she feels," Patrick began suddenly, waving his hand around. Ashes fell off of his cigarette. Toby sat back down..blinking. "But here she is, being an," he sighed, "being a really big idiot. I mean, who the hell does this?"

He still didn't want to ask.. He chewed on his mouth, then on the apple when he took another bite out of it.

"I was actually asking you, kid."

"Huh..? About..who the hell does something..?" He blinked and looked over at Patrick.

"Yeah, you said you heard everything. What's your take on it? Why the hell would anyone run away from something they know is true."

Toby frowned. He didn't know.. But, it sort of sounded like him.. He shrugged, real slowly, turning the apple around in his hand. "I dunno.. I don't..really like speaking for people, or trying to give advice.. 'Cause I never know what to say.."

"Well, this isn't advice, this is me askin' for an opinion. So let's have it."

"Mmph.." He took a big bite out of his apple, if only to stall for more time. He chewed extra slowly, made sure his face was set in a pensive expression. "Maybe..she thinks she's doing what's best.. There might be a reason why she's doing what she's doing..and what she tells you..isn't really what she means.."

"Huh. Like she's hiding something? That's even worse." He heard rather than saw Patrick slap himself in the face. It made him laugh. They were..kind of alike.. "I mean, I'm her.." he sighed, "I'm her best friend. I always have been, I've been there for her when we were kids, and I'm there for her now. If she doesn't trust me after all that crap, then I have no idea what the f*ck to do."

Toby's brow furrowed. He looked over at Patrick..who was leaning his forearms into his knees, hands dangling. Blue smoke wafted from the business end of his cigarette.

"Heh.. There has to be a reason.. I hide stuff from my best friend all the time.. It's not that I don't trust her, it's just--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..whoa. Your best friend is a 'she'?"

"Uh.." He blinked, slowly looking over to Patrick. "You're..not one to talk.. Yours is too.."

"I know! But still, wow, man! You know?" Toby blinked again..and Patrick laughed, waving his hand. "You don't know. Anyway, sorry, keep going."

He grinned. "It's not that I don't trust her.. I do..a lot.. But she's my friend, and I don't want her to get hurt.. Sometimes I don't do things..'cause I want to protect her.. Maybe that's what Sera's doing.."

"What the hell would she have to protect me from?"

"I dunno.. I'm not Sera, I can't tell you.. But..that might be why.. In the end..there's a reason.. And you've gotta figure that out.. If you think she's lying, or something, you know there is one.. But don't try to force it.. I know I hate that.."

"A reason, yeah. That's what I've been trying to.." Patrick sighed and rubbed his face..stubbed out the end of the cigarette on the side of the bench. "Don't push it, huh? That's probably the only approach I haven't tried. Thing is, we don't have a lot of time."

"Really..?" He blinked. "Why not.."

"She's set to take her vows, or oath..or whatever the hell they call it any time now. You..live different," Patrick nodded, "afterward. She'd be further away from me."

"Uh.. Yeah.." He nodded too, plowing quickly through the apple. Asking what that meant was probably not a good idea. He blinked when Patrick slapped him on the shoulder.

"Thanks, kid. You're alright." Patrick pushed up from the bench and started for the archway leading into the outside corridor.

"Hey, Patrick.." Toby fiddled with the apple core. "Can I ask you something.."

"Um, sure?" Patrick half turned, looking at him questioningly. "Alright, shoot."

He scowled down at his apple core. "Is it wrong..to wish that you could just go away, or disappear.. 'Cause where you are and what you're doing doesn't seem like that good of an idea anymore.."

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-26 20:11 EST
The silence between them wasn't that heavy. Maybe because it was a nice day out..the breeze tickled the leaves of the tree and the grass that looked like it was ready to be cut again.

He shouldn't have asked.. He didn't even know what made him do it, and it bothered him. He frowned a little more, setting the apple core aside and pushing up from the bench.

"Sorry.. Don't worry about it.."

"Is there something going on that you want to talk about?"

He grunted, looking away from Patrick. It was a moment before he shook his head. "Nah..not really.. Kinda just curious.. Everyone I've talked to said that that's just running away and stuff.."

"I'm going to need a little more context than that. You're not really wanting to jump off the roof of the church or hang yourself from the tree are you?"

He laughed softly..but Patrick didn't. "No.. I'm not.."

"Alright then, good. That'd be a really sh*tty. All that clean up." Patrick waved his hand dismissively. "I guess it depends on how you look at it, and who you ask. Of course everyone here's gonna tell you that. That it's some kind of a sin, and you'll go to Hell. I'll let you in on a little secret, though -- I'm not everyone here."

Toby snickered softly, flashed a smile in Patrick's direction.

"I think the best thing you can do is think about it. Do you really want to leave? Do you really want to die? Do you really want to leave everyone behind? Because if you choose to do that, there's no going back.

"You just said you had a best friend too. What do you think she'd do, or feel like, if were just all of a sudden dead or gone?"

He lowered his head, staring down at his shoes. That was the problem, though.. That's why he was doing it.. He thought it was best..if she didn't see him.. It'd give her time to shove all those stupid feelings down, away..where he couldn't see them. Until he didn't even know they were there..

"There's your answer right there. I say that, and your face looks like it belongs on a sick puppy." Patrick stepped up to him, gripped him warmly by the left shoulder. "Give it time. Really think about it. As much as you think that decision's all about you, it's not. You've got friends, kid. You just said I was one of them. You've got a funny way of showing how you care about your friends." He laughed..and Toby blinked.

"You've got time, just take a few days and really use that scary bright head of yours. I'll see you later." Patrick patted him on the shoulder, leaving him standing in the middle of the cemetery with a sun that was too warm and cheerful, and a breeze that was too relaxing.

It should storm.. Really.. That would be so much better..

Toby Aradam

Date: 2010-06-26 21:44 EST
Afternoon..

Advice..

Patrick was sort of..right..

He had already gone through all of these thoughts a long time ago.. It was different back then, for different reasons. But the concept was still the same..

He was hurting his friends..

He didn't want to hurt his friends..

He didn't want to be the reason why something was going wrong for one of them..

If Katt didn't see him, she wouldn't have to feel weird.. Or sad..about all the things he didn't feel.. And he wouldn't have to feel as guilty..

Moreover, she wouldn't have to see that he felt that way..

He hated feeling guilty.. It made him do stupid things..it always had in the past.. Because he knew that he didn't really want to leave, but..

He didn't want to do that to his friends..

Especially not Katt..

And May..

He didn't want to even think about doing that to her..

He needed to distract himself again..

Stay busy..busy enough to where the only thing he would be able to think about is what he was supposed to do next.

He was always good at making himself stop thinking..