Early morning, August 18th..

"She d-doesn't..l-like.. B-but, you're not..you're n-not a b-bad..demon.."

"I'll go talk to her now."

"Do you always have to fix everything.."

His mind wouldn't shut up. He only wanted to listen to the rain hitting him, running into his ears and the sound of his wet footsteps. But their voices wouldn't leave him alone. Sera's, Katt's..he hated hearing himself talk too.

He was supposed to be clearing his head..

He sighed, passing his hands roughly over his face, clearing his skin of sheets of water. He itched all over. His clothes were heavy, they stuck to him. At another time, he would have just gone without them..leaving them in the street. But now..he didn't want anyone to see him, or his body.

He hated that.. The scars weren't supposed to bother him this much.. Katt was right. They were reminders. And if he didn't have them, no one would know that anything happened. He wouldn't have to deal with questions, or watching people worry.. No one would have any idea that anything happened.

And he could just deal with it alone..

His hand sneaked under the soaked material of his scarf, curving around the front of his throat. He scratched at each scar he found. If he could have just..healed himself better, or something..

How had he ended up without any scars the first time..?

He wasn't a bad demon.

Just walking wasn't working..

While he was out here, he could check all the places they had left notes. Focusing on something else, distracting himself..was a good idea. Especially if it was something important.

May was more important..than any of the stupid feelings he was having..

******

He pushed into the church through one of the hidden side doors shaking his head viciously. Water droplets flew everywhere, he combed his fingers through his hair..it stayed slicked back.

He wasn't sure how long he had been gone. He'd checked all of the places, and had gotten the same answer at each one. He felt like he'd walked a lot longer than that, but he wasn't that good of keeping track of time..lately..

He trudged down halls and up staircases, leaving little puddles and wet footprints in his wake. Each time he put his foot down, it was harder to pick it back up. He was dreading going back to his room.

He would have to face her, and what he said.. He had been angry, frustrated. He didn't think he felt that way anymore. Now, it was just..sinking. Like he was standing on soft ground that would swallow him up.

He held his breath, stepped down into his room before he thought better of it for the sixth time. His jaw tightened, the corners of his mouth tugging down. He slowly slid his hand up against the lightswitch, making the small room glow dirty gold.

It was empty, like he had a feeling it was. The tea was all still there..

He chewed hard on the inside of his cheek, moving toward the bathroom door and testing it. Open.. And it was empty too.

He sighed out the air burning his lungs, turning sharply to face the foot of his bed.

Maybe..she just wanted to be alone too.. That's usually what it meant..when people left.. At least it meant that to him..

He could wait..

He rubbed his mouth roughly. The sinking feeling hadn't really gone away, or gotten better. He had hoped she'd still be here..

He didn't want it to get worse.

"Here, kid." Toby blinked slowly at the glass of water that was being held under his nose. He forced himself to swallow and take it, nodding his head in thanks. He didn't drink any. His hands shook so much the surface of the water didn't stay still.

"Are you o-okay..?"

He nodded again. He could feel the weight of both their concerned stares pressing him into the bed. He wanted nothing more than to just lay back down, curl up..pass out. Hopefully without a dream this time..

"P-Patrick, could you..could you give us a couple minutes alone?"

"What? No, what the hell would I do that f--"

"Patrick, please. I need to speak with him. Al-lone."

"What the hell do you have to say to him that you can't say in front of me?"

Toby flinched, licking his lips. He opened his mouth to try and say something, but Patrick's voice came out instead.

"Fine. Do whatever you want. Just be careful. And you, kid, don't you even f*cking dare think about kickin' her like you did--"

"Patrick!"

"I'm going, I'm going!" The door to his room slammed shut..and the silence that was settling in felt oppressive. It made the humid air hard to breathe.

"I'm s-sorry about him. Actually, I'm s-sorry about a l-lot of things..Toby.."

He grunted, it stung his scratchy throat. He lifted the water unsteadily to his mouth before he even tried to speak. "It's fine.."

"No, Toby, it's n-not," Sera said, her gentle voice uncharacteristically hard. He gripped the water glass as she knelt down before him. He could just feel the warmth of her palms on his knees. He didn't look up at her. "I sh-shouldn't have s-said what I did earlier, but..I just th-thought.. After wh-what we all saw that day.."

"You thought that's what I was.. It's fine, I understand.."

"Yes, b-but..if you would have.. N-none of us underst-tood.. A-and now I r-really don't. A.. If th-that's not what you a-are, th-then.."

She stuttered too much. It reminded him of May.. He reached to settle the glass to the nightstand, spider cracks were already crawling across its surface. His hand trembled so much during the short trip, he thought he would drop it. Sera lightly took it from him..and set it down with a soft clink.

"It is something you are ash-shamed of, isn't i-it?"

He sighed, his fingers folded tight between his knees. She was asking him questions again.. Would it really be so bad to answer.. Maybe clear something up.. Not doing it was what got him in this stupid mess to begin with.

They were his friends, they cared about him. That's what Katt said..right..?

"Yes.."

Sera squeaked. It made him snort. He figured she wasn't expecting him to say anything. "A-and that's why you d-didn't tell anyone."

"Yes.."

"S-so..wh-what happened that day?"

"Mmph.." He ran the tip of his tongue across his lips, thinking. How much could he say.. "Sometimes, I can't control it.. That was one of those times.."

Her fingers tightened on his knees. Holding on or trying to comfort him..he wasn't sure.

"I s-see."

This time the silence was awkward. He wanted to get up and move, walk around again. Maybe this time..he'd look for Katt too..

He sighed, raising his hands up to his forehead. Just thinking about it sent surges of panic through his chest.

"I a-am sorry, T-Toby.. I c-could have been more underst-standing, I suppose."

"It's fine.. I expect it, pretty much..from everyone.. If anyone finds out.."

"R-right."

Tylor wasn't alive. Those lights killed him, or he was too hurt to do anything.. He wouldn't come back and..take.. He wasn't the reason that May was gone..

"Toby..you're breathing too quickly."

He didn't screw up this bad. He didn't leave her alone..to hurt her.. He thought she was going to talk to Sera..

"D-did.. Did you..see..Katt.. Did she t-talk to you.."

"Ah. Katt? N-no, I have not seen her since..earlier today. I do f-find it odd that she was not h-here with you.."

"Mmph.."

She was gone. All of her things were gone. Maybe she was still in the church, or hiding somewhere here. Or at the condos. Or outside. She was fine..she was just..

"T-Toby..?"

"I c-can't..I c-can't breathe.."

"Oh! Oh, you're hyperventilating. M-move your hands, put your head bet-tween your knees."

"I-I.." He stared down at her right shoulder, too rigid to move. Sera's concerned face passed back and forth in front of him. Her hands were warm on his face, gently shaking. His eyes flicked over to hers..and they went wide. Her cheeks bloomed red.

"You're p-panicking, T-Toby. Just c-calm yourself. Y-you are in the ch-church, wh-whatever happened in your n-nightmare.." Sera shook her head, her loose curls bouncing off of her nose and forehead. "It was j-just a d-dream."

A dream.. That was such a nice thought.. The sudden lump in his throat made it hard to swallow. He flattened his quivering mouth, nodding..the motion dislodging new tears from the rims of his eyes.

"H-heavens."

He grunted softly, finding himself captured in an embrace with an entirely new feeling. Her arms around his neck were a lot smaller than he thought. Her hair tickled his face. She smelled..clean. Like soap..with a little bit of honey.

She patted his back with her small hands. "It's ok-kay. It was j-just a d-dream."

"A dream.." The words left him in a rush. He sagged, lightheaded, against her. Big, fat dark circles were blotting out his vision.

"Yes. D-don't worry any longer. W-we will go and f-find Katt so that she can h-help you."

"K-Katt.." He felt like he was falling. His chin dropped onto her slight shoulder.

The last thing he heard was a surprised squeak.